The Amber of the Moment
by Whitlock-Masen
Summary: A collection of one-shots, drabbles, and occasional outtakes of our stories, all written for various reasons. There is no one reason, just as there is no set pairing. Pay attention to A/Ns for pairings, ratings, and story connections.
1. Booking It for magan bagan

_**A/N:**__ Happy birthday, magan bagan! When we heard it was your birthday, we wanted to do a little something special for you. We know you're an ExB girl at heart, so we switched things up a bit. Hope you enjoy it - and have a wonderful day!_

_Love and hugs,_

_naelany and SorceressCirce_

_P. S. If you'd like to see the picture that inspired these drabbles, check it out on our blog at whitlock-masen(dot)blogspot(dot)com_

_**Note:**__ The title of this set of drabbles is "Booking It" and the title for the story collection - "The Amber of the Moment" - comes from a Kurt Vonnegut quote from __**Slaughterhouse-Five**__:_

_"Well, here we are, Mr. Pilgrim, trapped in the amber of this moment. There is no why."_

_**Pairing:** EdwardxBella_

_**Rating:** T  
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* * *

><p><strong>Blush<strong>

My gaze wanders up from the book I'm supposed to be studying, and I catch Bella staring at me. She blushes and looks down quickly, shifting in her seat.

I wonder – again – how in the world I got here.

What does she see in me?

Adjusting my glasses, I force my eyes to trace the words on the page, but it's hard. I don't need to study for Biology, but when Bella asked me to come to the library with her, I couldn't refuse. I still can't really believe we're… dating.

Just the thought brings a smile to my lips.

**Sigh**

A soft sigh causes me to look up at her – just over the rim of my glasses, in an attempt not to be too obvious. She's biting her lip, blushing slightly as she runs her fingers determinedly through her hair – all tell-tale signs that something's on her mind.

_Wonder what's wrong?_

She casts a glance my way, her cheeks reddening further as she catches me watching her. When she licks her lips, I abandon all pretenses and raise my head to meet her eyes.

I lean forward a little to whisper, "Are you alright?"

"Yeah, I just..." She sighs again.

**Distraction**

"Nothing," she mumbles at last, shaking her head as she looks down at her book. She exhales heavily, but when she doesn't look up after a while, I frown and go back to my reading.

She moves, tucking one leg under her, and her other foot begins brushing my ankle. My attention focuses instantly on the contact, and I wish more than anything that we were alone.

We haven't done more than kiss – and that, not often – but something in her touch gives me the courage to try. If only we weren't surrounded by other students who actually _are_ studying.

**Abrupt**

I try to focus on my reading. I really do. But when her bare foot begins to travel up under the hem of my pants, it takes everything I have to stay in my seat. I don't know whether to cry in joy or in frustration at the fact that she decided on flip flops today.

All I _do_ know is that the need to be alone with her is getting too much.

Suddenly, all contact is gone as she excuses herself, muttering about checking something.

Adjusting myself, I watch – mouth gaping and wide-eyed – as she goes to the computer.

**Help**

It's not until she walks back toward me that I realize I didn't look away once. Since I'm already the creepy, staring guy, I keep my eyes on her.

She stops in front of me, leaning on the table. My eyes feel drawn to the little dip in the top of her shirt, but I carefully watch her face.

"Can you help me?"

"Of course," I answer immediately. My chair scrapes the floor as I stand, making me wince.

Bella doesn't seem to notice. "I don't know where to find this number," she says, handing me a slip of paper.

**Elevator**

Frowning, I study the board by the elevator. After checking the slip Bella handed me again, I glance at her. "Are you _sure_ this is the right book?"

She nods, biting her lip as her blush creeps up her neck. "Yes. Have to reference some German philosopher for my paper."

Scratching the back of my neck, I mumble, "Alright..."

Another look at the board confirms that we have to go to the top floor, so I press the button to call the elevator.

Three other people are in the small confines with us, so I try to keep to myself.

**Press**

Bella stands a little too close to me, crowded by the other passengers. I move a little away, needing some space, but she follows me. Her hand slips into mine, and I glance down, smiling at her.

Two of the people get off on the second floor, and my heart skips in anticipation, but the third stays on. Bella mumbles something under her breath when he gets off on the floor before ours.

When the doors open on the top floor, I wonder again if we're in the right place. The stacks here have an empty feeling, isolated and dark.

**Dust**

Consulting the slip of paper, I frown, wondering again why she'd need a book on German philosophy for her paper. Shrugging, I turn right, my eyes flitting between the numbers on the ends of each row.

"Think it's down here, somewhere," I mumble, having to squint now to even see the signs.

I hear Bella as she follows me, muttering under her breath.

Just as I turn to ask her what's wrong, she takes a deep breath and grabs my elbow, dragging me further down the aisle before abruptly ducking between rows. I follow, too stunned to do anything else.

**Shock**

"Bella, what are you-?"

"Shh…" She cuts me off with a finger over my lips as she leads me to the end of the row. I know we're in the wrong place, but I don't care when she leans back against the shelf and puts her hands on my hips.

"Kiss me," she whispers, flushing furiously.

I blink, unsure if I heard right, and she half-grins as she lifts up to her toes and presses her lips against mine. I moan quietly, tilting my head and leaning closer to her.

I feel exposed, but I don't ever want to stop.

**Cover**

When she slips her tongue tentatively past my lips, it's almost too much. The possibility of getting caught sends my cheeks flaming even as my own tongue flicks out to meet hers.

I do the only thing I can think of and grab a random book off the shelf. Opening it, I hold it up by our faces in a vain attempt to hide us from view – not that there's anyone but us on this floor at the moment.

Bella's fingers tangle in my hair, and I groan. She pulls away and whispers breathlessly, "Want to get out of here?"


	2. Mocha Sex

**A/N: **Happy Birthday, _**Zigster**_! We couldn't resist doing a little something in honor of your day. Hope you have a great day.

As ever, we don't own Twilight. The boys, however, totally own us.

If you want the visual that went with this, check out our blog.

**ooOoo**

**Sear**

My fingers frantically try to find purchase on his sweat-slicked back as he continues pounding into me. My heels lock behind his thighs, desperate for more. Harder. Faster.

"Fuck... please, _please, _Jazz..." I moan.

I'm beyond all reason. I just _need_.

Need this.

Need him.

He overwhelms my senses like always. His scent – _our_ scent – drives me crazy.

"More," I pant.

The litany of curses that spills from his lips as he gives me what I want has me grinning. I love it when he lets go like this.

He wipes the smirk from my face with a searing kiss.

**Push**

His fingers tangle in my hair, pulling my head back as his mouth ravages mine. His hips are relentless, driving him deeper into me.

I feel my body tensing, my toes tingling, and I lift my hips to meet his, whimpering. He grunts, teeth capturing my tongue as his rhythm stutters. The tension explodes, sending my hot release between us as his arms tighten against me.

His hips slow as his lips pull from mine, and his head hangs down beside my face, his panting breath tickling my ear. With my eyes closed and lips parted, I relish every second.

**Care**

After a minute, he pulls himself up with a quiet groan. He rolls his eyes at my breathy chuckle and mutters, "Your fault, you know."

At that, I laugh – he joins in before kissing me tenderly.

"I love you," I murmur, brushing sweaty locks from his face.

"Love you, too, Ed," he says, grinning crookedly.

He pushes off me and gets up to walk to the bathroom, his gait not as steady as his demeanor would lead me to believe.

I watch as he quickly cleans himself before returning with a washcloth. I hum as he takes care of me.

**Relax**

When he settles beside me again, he rolls toward me. His hand rests on my hip as he kisses me languidly. Through all our years together, I've come to enjoy _this_ time the most – sated and content, beginning our slow build to the next time we can't keep our hands off each other.

His fingertips trace lazy patterns on my skin as his tongue brushes mine. When he pulls away, it isn't to go far. His eyes open, and I'm trapped in the vibrant blue.

The corners of his eyes crinkle as he smiles. "Sleep? Or…"

"Or what?" I ask.

**Tease**

His eyes flicker to the door before focusing back on me, though he doesn't speak.

It's all I can do not to laugh again. I've learned over the years that Jasper's got a sweet tooth – one heightened after sex. More than once, we've indulged in a post-coital snack.

Mocha flavored ice cream is his favorite choice.

The same ice cream I just so happened to have restocked today, in anticipation of tonight.

Deciding to tease him, I try to keep a straight face as he pouts.

"Or what, baby?"

"You know what," he grumps.

Sitting up, I kiss him briefly.

**Bowl**

"I have no idea what you're talking about," I answer as sincerely as possible. He frowns at me and sighs, flopping onto his back.

"I'm gonna go check the front door." I slide out of bed, glancing back to find him staring at the ceiling with a cute little pout on his lips.

I check the lock and then steal into the kitchen as quietly as possible, pulling the ice cream from its hiding place in the back of the freezer. I dish up two generous bowls and head back to our bedroom, where he's lying with his eyes closed.

**Taste**

He keeps his eyes closed as I sit down next to him, though his hand searches me out. Squeezing my thigh, he smiles.

Stifling a chuckle, I brush the cold bowl against his nipple, making him yelp, his eyes popping open in surprise.

"Oh you evil, little..." he growls.

When he sees his favorite dessert, he quickly changes tack. "...wonderful, loving, sweet man."

I laugh. "Who loves you, baby?"

Kissing me quickly, he grabs his bowl. "You do," he mumbles around a spoonful of ice cream.

We settle against the headboard, eating quietly.

"Thank you," he murmurs.

"You're welcome, sweetheart."


	3. Upholding Tradition

**A/N: **Happy Birthday, _**NelsonSmandela**_. We hope you have a great day, and that you enjoy a little peek in Edward and Bella's lives..

As ever, we do not own Twilight.

**ooOoo**

**Chill**

I smile at the sound of Bella humming a Christmas carol under her breath. Tugging my collar back up to keep the wind at bay, I grin as I start singing along.

She shivers lightly, so I pull her closer.

"Are you sure you're alright, love?"

She nods. "I'm fine. I wouldn't miss out on this for anything."

Kissing the top of her head, I murmur, "I love you."

She squeezes my side. "I love you, too. Now, come on. We have a date to keep."

We pick up the pace and start singing, "White Christmas."

It's tradition, after all.

**Tradition**

We turn onto the broad walkway through the park, and my smile widens at Bella's soft gasp. It's just as I remember it: countless lights wrapped around bare tree limbs, street lamps providing a brilliant glow that illuminates the benches lining the cobblestone path.

Perfection.

Just like my Bella.

As if she hears my thoughts, she looks up at me with narrowed eyes and pinches my ribs. When I grunt and twist away, she grins broadly. Her expression softens as she turns her attention back to our surroundings.

"It's just like I remember it…" she muses, making me chuckle quietly.

**Savor**

When we finally reach our destination, I glance down at her, grinning as I see the same initial hesitation in her eyes as she had the first - and every other - time we were here.

Squaring her shoulders, she leads the way and puts on her skates without a word.

I follow suit.

Before she steps foot on the ice, though, I wrap my arms around her and kiss her languidly.

This is where we had our first date.

Where I proposed to her years later.

Where we spent our honeymoon.

Where we're celebrating our first anniversary.

"I love you, Bella."

**Playful**

She smiles up at me as she whispers her love in return. Then a mischievous glint shines in her eyes as she says, "C'mon."

She drops my hand, stepping onto the ice and attempting to glide away. It doesn't work, of course. Her toe pick catches on the ice, and she stumbles forward a few steps before flinging her arms wide and catching her balance.

When she's sure she's safe, she throws a triumphant smile over her shoulder, and I can't help but laugh. She wrinkles her nose at me and beckons me forward.

Of course I go to her.

**Glide**

It's almost unfair how effortless it is for me to make it to her, but I suppose that's what you get after years of hanging out at skating rinks. I try not to grin too much as I come to a much more graceful stop.

The look on Bella's face almost makes it impossible not to, though.

Her eyes narrow. I laugh again as she pushes hard against my chest.

"Meanie!" She huffs, sticking her tongue out.

Moving beside her, I wrap my arms around her, kissing the top of her head. "Sorry, love. Couldn't help it. You're too cute."

**Warm**

We're two of the few people actually out on the ice. Most everyone else had sense enough to stay inside, huddled against the impending storm. The wind is frigid, biting through scarves and gloves, and it's not long before Bella's teeth begin to chatter.

"I'm fine!" she protests when I try to lead her off the ice. When I hesitate, she turns those wide, brown eyes up at me. "Please? Just a little longer?"

I sigh, torn between giving her what she wants and the warmth she needs. Luckily, my decision is made for me when sleet begins to fall.

**Chocolate**

Bella pouts, glaring up at the sky before sighing in defeat.

We hurry to the small diner where we always stop for what has become our accustomed treat: hot chocolate with soft serve ice cream and a piece of warm apple pie topped with the same.

Bella's practically bouncing in her seat as the waitress puts everything on the table. She closes her eyes as she takes a sip of cocoa.

I chuckle, shaking my head at the endearingly familiar way she looks up – with soft serve smeared on the tip of her nose.

Leaning over, I wipe it away.

**Blush**

Our visit to the diner is shorter than usual. We keep one eye on the weather, and when it seems to take a turn for the worse, Bella is the one to say, "Wanna get out of here?"

The corner of my mouth curves into a smile, and she laughs. "I know where your mind is," she accuses, but her eyes drift down, roaming over my chest even as she blushes.

It's that blush that always does me in. It caught me the first day I saw her in World History my sophomore year, and it never let me go.

**Tender**

The walk back to our hotel isn't as leisurely as when we headed out, but neither of us cares. Still, despite our best efforts to hurry, we end up dripping wet in the lobby.

We're both laughing as we stumble into the elevator. I pull her to me, intent on kissing her, but Bella reaches up to brush my sodden hair out of my face. She cups my cheek with a smile that still makes my heart beat faster.

"Bella," I whisper as I softly catch her lips.

Her arms wrap around my waist while mine wind around her shoulders.

**Belong**

The door to our suite clicks shut as Bella's fingers tangle in my hair. I can feel the chill from her cheeks, and I murmur, "Let's get you out of these wet clothes."

Her laugh is low and throaty as she whispers, "Yours are all wet, too."

"Are they? Shame…"

She steps back, biting her bottom lip as she peers up through her lashes.

"You're beautiful," I breathe. This time her blush is tempered with the confidence I adore.

No more words are exchanged as we reach out, our bodies and minds becoming one – as we are meant to be.


	4. Long Distance

**A/N: **Happy Birthday, _**KnitMo**_. We hope you have a great day. Alice and Jasper wanted to share a little with you, so enjoy!

As ever, we do not own Twilight.

**ooOoo**

**Lonely**

"I miss you, baby." I sigh as I type the words, pouting a little.

"_Miss you, too. Smile, Sugar, don't worry. Finals'll be over for you soon__."_

My lips twitch into a smile automatically as I read his words of love and encouragement. I hate being away from him, but it's because of Jasper that I'm even _in_ college.

If it hadn't been for him insisting I work on making my dreams a reality, I would have stayed back home. Why? Because I'm in love, and the very thought of not being with Jasper every day nearly broke my heart.

**Fuzzy**

My phone buzzes in my pocket as I'm walking across the Quad. Pulling it out, I smile at the sight of Jasper's icon before running my thumb across the screen to read his text.

_Felt the urge to see you and thought you might feel the same – always, __J_

I flip to the attached picture to find Jasper leaning against a wall, his hair all a mess, wearing the leather necklace I gave him. The picture is blurry and off-center, but his crooked smile is clear.

I run my fingers through my hair before taking a picture of my own.

**Study**

Tanya, Felix, and Zafrina are arguing over the material we're supposed to be studying for our finals. I try to pay attention, but I keep losing my focus.

The day is beautiful, but even though I'm surrounded by my friends, I feel lonely.

With a shake of my head, I scold myself. I have to get through this with high marks. I owe it to myself and my scholarship – and to Jasper. I can't let him down, not when he's been nothing but supportive.

Frowning, I counter Felix's argument, and I finally lose myself in our work for a while.

**Shadow**

_Where are you?_

I frown at the unusually abrupt text from Jasper before answering.

_In the Quad studying for my Psych final. Everything okay__?_

I drop my phone into my lap and try to pick up the thread of the discussion again. Before I get very far, Tanya says, "Hey, Ali? Can you look up that thing about Carl Jung again?"

I grin at her and nod, reaching into my bag for my book. I've just opened it when a shadow falls over the page, making it hard to read.

"Hey, do you think you could…" I begin, turning around.

**Shriek**

Even with the glare of the sun behind him, I'd recognize him anywhere. His blond curls almost seem to form a halo around his head, and I briefly wonder if I really _am_ seeing an angel.

Then he crouches down beside me, grinning mischievously even as I launch myself toward him with a shrill, "Jasper!"

He laughs lowly, wrapping his arms around me as we tumble onto the grass, thanks to my momentum. He looks up at me with bright, happy eyes. "Hey, darlin'. Good to see-"

His words are stifled as I plant a searing kiss on his lips.

**Amused**

Jasper's arms tighten around my waist, his head tilting as I taste him for the first time in what seems like ages. My hands slip up, my elbows on the grass as my fingers tangle in his hair. I could stay like this forever and be completely happy.

"Uhh…" Felix's voice breaks through my content haze.

I hear giggles, and then Zafrina says, "Ali? Should we… go?"

"Oh!" I say, my head jerking up. Jasper laughs beneath me, and his hand reaches up to brush along my cheek, drawing my gaze again.

He sits up slowly, never letting me go.

**Torture**

Though I want nothing more than to stay in his arms, I reluctantly get up, pulling him with me. He stays close, always touching me, even as I introduce him to my friends.

Tanya's smile is almost lecherous as she leans forward, her eyes flickering from mine to Jasper's. "Where the hell have you been hiding him, Ali? No fair not to share with the rest of the class, you know."

I glare at her, but Jasper's chuckle as he kisses me below my ear and Tanya's wink set me at ease.

Still, I'm counting the seconds until we're alone.

**Excuse**

We sit talking with everyone until Zafrina closes her notebook. "Well, it's really nice to meet you, Jasper. I hate to run, but I have to work."

I catch her eye, sending her a silent _thank you_ – I know her shift doesn't start for three hours. As soon as she stands, the rest of us do as well. Felix shakes Jasper's hand and asks how long he'll be in town.

Cutting his eyes to me, Jasper says, "Well, I need to talk to Alice about that… but hopefully until Sunday."

A thrill shoots through me as he squeezes my hand.

**Walk**

We walk back to my dorm, holding hands the whole way as I bombard him with questions.

How did he get here?

When?

Why didn't he say anything?

His grin is bemused as he answers each and every one, occasionally pausing to kiss my fingers. When we get to my place, I frown at him. "Where will you be staying?"

He licks his lips and blushes slightly. "I got a room over at the Phoenix Inn. Figured we could both stay there?"

With a squeal, I jump into his arms, my book bag falling to the floor. "You're the best!"

**Anticipation**

Jasper sits on my bed as I throw clothes into my suitcase. We talk easily, both asking and answering questions as we work to catch up on all the things we've missed.

I'm walking by when he catches my hand and pulls me into his lap. "I had to see you, Ali… I really hope you don't mind. I just… couldn't wait anymore."

"Don't be ridiculous," I whisper, kissing him. "It's perfect."

He smiles and hums. "In that case… finish packing so I can show you how much I missed you?"

My grin broadens. "I love the sound of that."


	5. Believing

**A/N: **Happy Birthday, _**JayneRulis**_. We hope you have a great day, and that you enjoy these boys.

As ever, we do not own Twilight.

**ooOoo**

**Call**

"_Baby, I'm sorry... They canceled my flight, and everything else is booked solid."_

Sighing, I run my fingers through my hair, disappointment settling deep into my bones. Tonight was supposed to be special; we're debuting our newest single – a song I wrote for Edward – and now he won't even be here.

I try to mask the hurt I feel. It's not _his _fault, after all. Still, I wish more than anything he could be here. It's already been weeks. "What are you going to do? You going to be alright?"

I can almost hear his smile. _"I'll be fine, love__."_

**Push**

It takes effort to focus, but I manage to make it through our rehearsal. Every line of the song I wrote for him pulls at me, making me miss him more. The other guys pick up on it, of course, and as I'm putting my guitar away, Garrett nudges my shoulder.

"He'll be here tomorrow, right?"

I nod and force a smile. "Yup, should be here sometime tomorrow afternoon."

_If they don't cancel _this_ flight__._

The thought is bitter, and Garrett winks. "First round's on me tomorrow night."

"Thanks, G," I answer with a real smile.

_Just one more day__._

**Check**

Last minute soundchecks are done, and all of us are ready and eager to get the show going. Before we take the stage, we each have our little rituals we never fail to do. Garrett and Peter mutter quietly to themselves. Benny plays air-drums, and Kate does some deep-breathing exercises.

I pluck my phone from my pocket in anticipation of a "break a leg"-text from Edward. He's never failed to send me one before, but tonight... nothing. Quickly typing out a text to ask if he's okay, I almost miss my cue.

Pushing all thoughts away, I make my entrance.

**Concert**

Sweat is pouring, bass is thumping, and I can't help grinning. No matter how I feel before a show, these are the moments I live for.

Well, _some _of the moments.

The rest are in Edward's arms. For now, I take what I can get, feeding on adrenaline as the crowd belts out lyrics with me. When the time comes, Garrett ad-libs a bass line, his fingers working their magic on the crowd, which slowly quiets.

"We got a little surprise for y'all tonight," I begin, only to be interrupted by a swelling shriek. I exchange a grin with Garrett.

**Encore**

The crowd's reaction to the song, which I dedicate to Edward despite his not being there to hear it, is amazing. It always surprises me how they can go from screaming enthusiasm to utter quiet so quickly, only to erupt once again.

It never ceases to thrill me – more so, tonight, because of how close my heart is to this particular song.

It's the last of our set, and as is our custom, we ask the crowd what _one_ song they want to hear again before we leave.

My heart swells when they all scream, _"You Keep Believing" – _Edward's song.

**Ambivalent**

A party will be waiting for us at the hotel; it always is. Around me, the band talks excitedly, but I keep staring out the window, feeling somehow… less. When I went on tour, Edward worried that I'd forget him, that I'd find someone else – or _many_ someone elses.

But it just hasn't happened.

If anything, it's only strengthened what I already knew: he's the one for me.

That certainty puts a smile on my face, and I shove away the melancholy as we pull up to the curb. Screaming voices greet us as we climb out of the limo.

**Press**

We almost have to fight our way through the crowd surrounding us as we try to get into our hotel.

Hands are grasping, trying to get a hold of something – _anything –_ that they can claim for themselves.

They scream our names, "I love you!", "Marry me!" and all sorts of crazy shit. I hardly pay attention to any of it. I rarely did before, but right now all I can even think of is getting to my room to try to call Edward. I'm not even in the mood to party.

Finally, we reach the lobby, where it's surprisingly quiet.

**Surprise**

Just as I flop down on my bed to call Edward, my phone rings. "Garrett?" I answer. "What's up?"

"_Hey, J… man, I think you need to get down here__."_

Frowning, I run my fingers through my hair. "Why? What's wrong?"

He laughs. _"Just do it."_

I sigh as he hangs up. Muttering to myself, I stand and head back downstairs. People have trickled into the lobby, and I have to crane my neck to see around people and over their heads.

I can't find Garrett anywhere, and I'm just about to give up when I spot someone else instead.

**Pounce**

For a moment, I just stand there, convinced I'm dreaming.

_It can't be__..._

I lose sight of him briefly as a couple walk past me. My heart beats faster as his unruly mop of red hair becomes visible again – quickly followed by a tired grin as my eyes travel downward.

"Edward!"

Ignoring everyone else, I all but run to him, jumping him as soon as I reach him – arms and legs firmly around him as he holds me up. He always has – though I doubt he realizes it - and hopefully always will.

I kiss him for all I'm worth.

**Question**

His hands tighten on my thighs as he kisses me deeply. Finally, he sighs reluctantly and lowers me to the ground.

"How did you get here?" I demand, my fingers tangling in his hair.

He laughs and presses his forehead against mine. "I put myself on standby. When a spot came open…"

He answers every question I fire at him until I finally say, "I wish you could've been there tonight."

"I was," he whispers. "Thank you. That song was…" He trails off, shaking his head with a smile. "Think I could get a private performance?"

"Every single day, baby."


	6. Two of a Kind

**A/N:** Happy Birthday, _**SassyGeminiMom**_. Hope you have a wonderful day.

As ever, we do not own Twilight - it owns us.

**ooOoo**

**Snapshot**

_Fucking beautiful._

Quickly snapping the picture, I stand and watch in awe, my mind drifting to Jasper. Everything here seems to remind me of him.

The desert sand brings his tanned skin to mind; the stormy blue clouds the way his eyes change from light to dark when we make love.

_God, I miss him._

A derisive snort brings me back to reality.

I scowl at Rose. "What?"

She shakes her head, grinning. "Never figured you for such a sap, Cullen."

I roll my eyes. "Oh shut it, Hale. You miss Em just as much."

"Two more days," she sighs.

**Long**

Those two days pass agonizingly slowly. Despite our desire to get back to the men we love, Rose and I don't shirk our assignment – we never have.

We've been partners for years, scouring the globe to capture it all: the breathtakingly beautiful and the heartbreakingly desolate. She writes the words that make my pictures sing, and we've experienced it all together.

Many people speculated that we were together – until I met her twin brother, and it became clear to the world that there was only one Hale for me.

On the final morning, the sun-kissed sand dances like his hair.

**Return**

Rose is typing furiously on her laptop, ignoring the steward's attempts to get her attention, so I end up ordering for us both. As usual.

It's her way of trying to forget how much she misses Emmett, by burying herself with work. Especially those last few hours away.

They're always the hardest, it seems.

Me, I can't focus for shit, as usual. So I'm stuck watching some lame movie I've seen too many times, while my mind keeps going back to Jasper.

I can't _wait_ to hold him in my arms again. Three weeks is too long for my liking.

**Arrival**

The landing gear squeals on the tarmac as we touch down and gradually slow. My breathing speeds proportionally as a smile grows on my face.

I know he'll be there, waiting for me. Just like always. His hair will be messy because he keeps pulling at it, and his eyes will be anxious until his lips turn up into a smile at the sight of me.

I wish I could really explain to him how much that smile means to me.

My own smile is rueful as I realize Rose is right – I _am_ a sap.

And I don't care.

**Almost**

We follow the throng of people to the baggage claim area, quickly finding and piling our things on top of our cart.

Though Rose tries to hide it, her eyes are just as eagerly scouring the area as mine are, hoping for that first glance of our men. She finds them first – her squeal giving her elation away.

I quirk an eyebrow at her, but she merely sticks her tongue out at me before pushing the cart toward Emmett. Following the beeline she's making, I spot Jasper, and I sigh in relief as I see him smile.

Only seconds, now...

**Reunion**

Jasper steps toward me just as I reach for him, and our collision is hard enough that we would've bounced apart if we weren't both holding on so tight. His lips press beneath my ear as he whispers, "God, I've missed you."

I smile, burying my face in his neck. "I missed you, too."

With that, I lift my head, and his lips find mine immediately. I moan softly, unable to help myself, as Jasper's hands splay along my back, pulling me closer.

When we part at last, he smiles. "Welcome home, baby."

"Damn good to be back," I answer.

**Tease**

Cupping his cheek, I stare into his eyes, unable to keep the grin off my face. Everything and everyone else around us is forgotten.

That is, until Emmett nudges my shoulder and says, "You two had better get a move on if you want a ride back into town, or I'm leaving without you." With a grin, he adds, "Gotta get my Rosie home."

To emphasize his point, he growls and plants a searing kiss on her lips, pulling her closer and tipping her like they do in the movies.

Jasper rests his forehead against mine, chuckling. "C'mon," he whispers.

**Home**

The sound of Jasper's keys hitting the hardwood floor is loud, but I barely notice because his arms wrap around me, pressing me against the wall as he kisses me urgently. He whispers, "I need you."

I let my head fall back against the wall as I smile and close my eyes, taking a moment to relish his passion and desire.

When his hands reach my hips, I bring his lips back to mine. "Take me to our room."

His eyes meet mine, and I add, "Now."

He grins, kissing me once before taking my hand and leading the way.


	7. Break

**A/N: **Happy Birthday, _**Teenuh**_! We hope you have a wonderful day, and that you enjoy these boys.

As ever, we do not own Twilight - it owns us.

**Pairing:** Edward and Jasper

**Rating:** T

**ooOoo**

**Tired**

I squint at the screen and then rub my eyes, sighing as I stretch my back. When I open my eyes again, they zoom in on the clock.

_3:23_

"Ugh."

"You okay, babe?" Jasper calls from the kitchen.

"Yeah, I'm fine," I answer automatically.

_Just been working on this shit non-stop since six this morning._

He puts a cup of coffee beside my keyboard and sits on the edge of my desk, running his fingers through my hair.

"Ed, come on… you've been at this for hours. Take a break?"

His words echo my thoughts, but I shake my head.

* * *

><p><strong>Debate<strong>

I close my eyes at his sigh – partially to avoid seeing his disappointment and partially because the feel of his fingers in my hair is almost enough to lull me to sleep.

"Ed, babe, please. Come to the park with me. Take a walk; get some air. Then you can get back to work with a fresher perspective. What do you say?"

Shaking my head again, I look at him. "I don't have time-" I start.

His, "How much have you actually gotten done in the last thirty minutes?" cuts me off, winning the argument as he knew it would.

* * *

><p><strong>Walk<strong>

I feel better as soon as we step outside. On our stoop, I inhale deeply as he slips his hand into mine. He makes no comment, but his satisfied smirk says it all.

"Know-it-all," I mutter under my breath, raising the back of his hand to my lips to take the sting from the words.

He laughs and pulls me closer, kissing me softly. "Come on," is all he says.

He laces our fingers together, and our hands swing between us naturally as we walk. I feel tension leaving my shoulders, replaced by gratitude for how well he knows me.

* * *

><p><strong>Serene<strong>

We end up walking along our favorite trail in the park. We're lucky to live close to one, but then, that's why we chose to buy our house, after all.

Neither of us feels the need to talk, content to simply enjoy being in each other's company and take in the scenery.

Eventually, he pulls me to "our" spot, not far from the pond. It's there that we start talking quietly about inconsequential things that somehow matter all the same.

Like the weather, or the color of the leaves on the trees, or the flock of birds flying over us.

* * *

><p><strong>Recharged<strong>

I'm leaning back against Jasper, his arms wrapped around me, when he presses his lips to my temple.

"Feel better?" he murmurs.

"Mmm," I agree. We kiss softly before he pulls away, cupping my cheeks.

"Good," he says simply, brushing my cheek with his thumb. "Time to go back?"

I make a face but nod. He smiles.

"Come on, then… that dissertation isn't going to edit itself." I roll my eyes at his wink, laughing when he adds, "What? I always wanted to marry a doctor."

"I wasn't a doctor when you married me," I remind him.

"I had faith."


	8. No More Hiding

**A/N:** Happy Birthday, _**Killerlashes**_. We wanted to do something special for your birthday, so we hope you'll enjoy a little Leah and Jacob. Have a terrific day!

As ever, we do not own Twilight - it owns us.

**ooOoo**

**Sneak**

"Stop following me around like a lost puppy, Seth. It's annoying! Go bother someone else for a while," I grouse. I don't _mean_ to be so harsh with him. I love my little brother.

Really. I do.

With a sigh, I run my fingers through my hair as I take in the crestfallen look on his face. "Sorry, Seth. I'm just..."

_Annoyed._

_Stressed._

_Frustrated beyond belief._

_Horny._

_In love._

_Stuck._

And none of it is his fault.

It's mine.

"'S okay," he murmurs, giving me a quick hug like always before running off to his room.

"Damn it," I mutter.

**Hide**

I sigh and close my eyes, tilting my head back. Rubbing my temples, I struggle with myself. As much as I want to comfort Seth, I know _he_ is waiting – and I can't deny where I want to be.

I go to Seth's closed door and knock. He doesn't answer, exactly as I expected, and I know he wouldn't appreciate me barging in. "Listen, Seth… I'll be back in a few hours. Why don't you pick out something for us to stream from Netflix? We can order a pizza."

I count the silent seconds until I hear his begrudging, "'Kay."

**Escape**

Quick as I can, and without raising too much suspicion doing so, I make my way to _our_ secret meeting place. He's already waiting for me, staring out over the water with his back to me.

"Jake?"

He turns and smiles _my_ smile – the one that always warms me from the inside out.

"Sorry I'm late, baby," I mumble, blushing when I think about Seth.

Getting to his feet, he pulls me in his arms, and I melt against him as our lips meet. Being with him momentarily allows me to forget the world.

"Don't worry about it," he says.

**Talk**

When our lips finally part, Jacob pulls me to the ground. He sits behind me, wrapping his arms around me, and I lean against his chest.

We stare at the water in silence for a few minutes before he kisses the crown of my head. "What's on your mind?"

I wish I had a simple answer to that one simple question, but there's too much – my dad's death, my mom's _date_ tonight, the way Jake and I have to hide…

Since I don't have an easy answer, I start with the most recent. "I just… sort of blew Seth off."

**Listen**

Jake listens quietly as I tell him everything that's bothering me – both the old and the new. He always does, even though he's heard most of it all before.

It isn't until I'm winding down, leaning my head back against his shoulder, that I huff and grudgingly admit, "I just don't know what to _do_ anymore, Jake."

His arms tighten around me as he murmurs in my ear, "Yes, you do, honey."

I turn to frown at him. "How can you say that, Jake? How can you be so sure?"

He pecks my lips and grins. "Because I love you."

**Change**

I can't help but smile and kiss him.

I spent most of my life hating Jacob Black. He was a smart ass who always seemed cocky and just… annoying. It didn't help that Seth had a major hero worship thing for him.

But then, at our father's funeral, he'd just been there for me. When I'd broken down, he'd come to find me, and despite my initial lashing out, he'd stayed. That was the beginning of my world changing.

"Leah, you know… some of this would be easier if you'd just tell people. You wouldn't have to lie to Seth…"

**Debate**

I sigh, closing my eyes and resting my head against his shoulder again. "I know, I know... it's just... complicated, Jake. You know it is."

His chin rests atop my head as he lets out a sigh of his own. "Leah, it won't be as bad as you think. People simply won't _care_ enough about all that crap. And if they do, it shouldn't matter to _us,_anyway. It isn't about them. It's about you and me."

His voice is soft, but determined. Still, I can't help my concerns regarding the tribe – and the fact Jake's next in line as chief.

**Convince**

"Look," he says, suiting his words by shifting so I can see his face, "the guys are going to give me shit, yes. So what? That's my problem. Besides, they already give me a hard time about wanting you. At least now I can show them I have you."

Jake is one of the few people who can ever make me blush, and I feel the heat rising in my cheeks just listening to him. "But-"

"But, what?" he cuts me off. "If ever there was a time for your don't-give-a-damn, snarky-ass attitude, it's now."

His grin softens his words.

**Reassure**

I narrow my eyes at him anyway, which just causes him to laugh and kiss the tip of my nose.

"I'm serious, Leah. Don't worry about it. No matter what happens, all that's important is how you and I feel about each other – and I love you. So unless you're trying to tell me you don't feel the same..."

He lets his voice trail off teasingly.

"Oh, shut _up_." Slapping his arm, I roll my eyes and shake my head.

"No one else matters. Not the council. Not the tribe. Not even the chief," he says with a playful grin.

**Concede**

"Okay," I give in, "we can tell them. But we tell them my way."

He raises an eyebrow in amusement.

"And I'm telling you right now if Quil so much as thinks about making some smart ass comment about 'hittin' that,' I'll kick his scrawny ass all the way to Forks."

Jake throws back his head, howling with laughter, and I can't help but grin as I recline against him. I feel better already, even though I'd never admit it.

"That's the Leah I love," Jake murmurs, catching my lips in a soft kiss as his arms wrap around me.


	9. Tag, You're It!

**A/N:** Happy Birthday, _**MegiB**_. We wanted to do something special for your birthday, so we hope you'll enjoy a little Emmett and Jasper. Have a terrific day!

As ever, we do not own Twilight - it owns us.

**ooOoo**

**Taunt**

"Oh come on, man... is that all you got?"

Jasper grins tauntingly from behind the bag he's holding still, while I pound away at it.

Leveling a look at him, I grumble, "Shut it, Hale, or I might mistake your face for this punching bag."

We both know that I'm full of shit, but that doesn't stop either of us from going back and forth as we work out.

Sometimes, the only way for me to make it through these sessions is to rile him up – though that in itself is also a problem.

I really, really hate holding back.

**Sweat**

Standing over him at the weight bench, I try to ignore the way sweat is dripping all over him - down his forehead, over his bare chest. My eyes are drawn to a single bead just below his navel, caught in the trail of hair that's just darker than the blond on his head.

"Fuck," I mutter before I catch myself.

Grunting, Jasper returns the bar to the uprights and lets his arms drop, breathing heavily. "You okay?" he pants.

"Yeah. Back twinge," I lie.

"Getting old sucks," he teases.

"Suck my dick," I answer automatically.

He raises an eyebrow.

**Finish**

Clearing my throat, I quickly move to treadmill – our last stop as always. Jasper doesn't say anything, just starts running on the one next to mine.

As we run, I try to keep my eyes on myself in the mirror, repeating the mantra I've been going by for months now: _He's Edward's ex. Your best friend's ex. Off-limits__._

We've flirted almost from the day we met. All harmless fun. In time, fun became something else for me.

I almost trip over my own feet when Jasper lets out a low, appreciative whistle.

My eyes cut to his in the mirror.

**Push**

I laugh, shaking my head as Jasper wiggles his eyebrows in the mirror. I flex, making my muscles dance, and the look on his face changes from teasing to longing.

Returning my eyes to my own reflection, I focus on running as my mantra runs through my head again.

By the time our miles are finished, I feel recharged, like I can face him normally again.

Until I turn and see his face.

"What's up?" I ask as lightly as possible.

He shakes his head. "Nothing."

His eyes darken mischievously and suddenly he lowers his shoulder and charges into me.

**Scuffle**

"What the h- oof!" Air leaves my lungs as he tackles me to the ground.

It takes all of three seconds before I gather myself again and start to fight back – not seriously, of course.

A very small part of my brain is thankful that the gym's deserted at this time of day – and that the owner's a good friend of ours. At least we won't get our asses kicked out for fighting, even if it's just for fun.

And I know it is, because Jasper's grin never leaves his lips.

His eyes, though, go from pale to stormy gray.

**Pinned**

A quick punch to the ribs gives Jasper the distraction he needs to roll me onto my back. He sits hard on my chest with his knees on my biceps, and when I try to reach out to knock him off, he catches my hands. He pins them over my head and grins down at me triumphantly.

I stop fighting.

"Gotcha," he murmurs. His grin fades as he watches me, becoming something warmer – something inviting.

"Jasper…" I begin, then wonder what I was going to say.

He leans forward, and all I can see are his lips coming near mine.

**Stall**

He's only inches away when I close my eyes, murmuring, "What about Edward?"

My heart's beating wildly in my chest. I'm not even sure how to feel right now. This is so close to what I've been longing for for so long – and he's _right there_. A lift of my chin, and our lips would meet.

And I want that.

So much.

I screw my eyes tight when that little voice in my head hisses my best friend's name again. I can't bear to see Jasper's reaction, sure that his complete stilling is answer enough.

We won't be going there.

**Nudge**

Jasper murmurs, "Hey," and squeezes my hands.

I sigh heavily, opening my eyes. A part of me just wants to stay right there, where everything I want seems possible, but I've never been the type to hold on to a wish.

"Listen, Edward's with Garrett. He's a great friend, but he doesn't want me, and I don't want him. I want you."

My eyes widen at hearing him say it so openly. "I want you, too."

"Then kiss me."

"But…"

"But nothing. I've talked to him, okay? I wanted to be sure he was cool with this."

"And is he?"

**Answer**

My heart's starting to beat double-time as I search his eyes. They crinkle around the edges as he grins. "Yeah, he is. He said it was about time and that he was sick of watching the UST go higher and higher."

I frown in confusion. "UST?"

He chuckles. "Unresolved sexual tension." He rolls his eyes, muttering, "Fucking Lit major," under his breath.

It takes a few seconds before everything clicks in my head. The wheels turn grudgingly, almost unwilling to accept the truth of what seems impossible.

"He really said that?"

He nods, but knowing Ed the way I do...

**Turn**

"Are you sure? Sometimes he-"

Jasper cuts me off with a teasing grin. "Damn it, Emmett. You keep stalling, and I'm gonna think _you're_ the one who's not s-"

He laughs as I grab his hands and flip us over. That is, until I settle on top of him and kiss the hell out of him. I can taste his sweat and feel the abrasion of his teeth and stubble, and I can't even try to stop my moan.

He gives a quiet gasp, and then his hands are all over me, roaming my back as he kisses me hungrily.

**Desire**

For a moment, I forget everything.

I forget we're in a public place.

That anyone can walk in on us at any moment.

All I can think of, all I can _feel,_ is this flame that's always been inside of me – burning just for him – roaring to life as more and more of his skin touches mine.

It isn't until his hands are well on their way to rid me of my shorts that I regain some of my senses.

I pull away with a reluctant groan as his fingers knead my ass. "Stop..." My voice is breathless and weak.

**Whine**

"Don't wanna," Jasper murmurs, bucking his hips into mine.

"Holy fuck, Jasper…" I can't resist for a minute, letting him do what he wants, but when his fingertips brush the head of my cock, I have to stop him.

I pull his hand out and whisper, "We have to stop."

"Why?" he nearly whines, his head dropping onto the floor as he breathes heavily.

"First, because we're on the nasty ass gym floor." His eyes pop open, and I lean in closer to breathe, "And second, because I don't want anyone to interrupt what I'm about to do to you."

**Alone**

It's almost funny how quickly my words send him into motion. He all but pushes me off of him, scrambling to his feet even as he's tugging me to mine, muttering under his breath the whole time.

I tug my shorts back up as I follow him willingly to our lockers. It isn't until we're having to get dressed that he lets go of my hand.

We leave in record time. Neither of us bothered to button our shirts, or tuck them into our jeans.

He pulls me to his car, pushing me inside before running to the driver's side.

**Determined**

"Where are we going?" I ask, amused by his single-minded focus.

"My place," he answers. He reaches over to squeeze my thigh and then glances at me as his hand lingers. "You have no idea how long I've wanted this."

I grin and mutter, "Oh, I have a pretty damn good idea…"

He winds through the streets smoothly before pulling to a stop outside his apartment. He catches my eye, and I answer the unspoken question I see.

"Hell, yes."

Jasper chuckles and leans across the console to kiss me hard. "Come on," he whispers, his fingers teasing my crotch.

**Excitement**

I want to groan in frustration as we step into the elevator to find it occupied.

Jasper's jaw flexes, his hand twitching as if wanting to grab me.

As it is, he's standing opposite me, the elderly woman and the young girl with her standing between us.

I vaguely wonder if they can feel the tension between Jasper and me.

I sure as hell can. It's almost palpable, even from three feet away.

When the doors open for the fourth time, Jasper stalks out, grasping my hand and pulling me along. Again, he's muttering under his breath.

Finally, we're inside.

**Quick**

Jasper pulls me straight into his living room, where he drops to his knees. His hands begin working on my jeans as he kisses and bites me through the thick fabric. I can feel the heat of his breath as my fingers tangle in his hair.

"Jesus," I whisper before tugging at his hair and trying to get him to stand.

He shakes his head and pulls away far enough to say, "Me first."

Who am I to argue?

At last, he has me naked and guides me to sit on his couch, where he kneels between my parted legs.

**Groan**

I don't want to miss a single second of what's about to happen, but it's a losing battle for me. My eyes flutter closed at the feel of his lips whispering along my shaft, kissing and licking as he goes.

They roll into the back of my head when he ever-so-slowly takes me into his mouth, his tongue alternately circling and pressing flat against me.

Finally, they close completely when I hit the back of his throat.

We both groan, the sensation of his turns mine into a needy whimper.

I'm utterly lost to him, and I revel in it.

**Repay**

Jasper hums as he swallows around me, his fingers tightening on my thighs as he tastes my orgasm. When my breathing finally slows, he pulls away, his eyes meeting mine.

He smiles the lazy, crooked smile that first caught my eye, and I can see pride and satisfaction on his face. I grin at him, panting to catch my breath, and pull him up. We kiss briefly before I shift us so that I'm on the floor.

I pull his pants off as quickly as possible and then pause, looking up. "God, I've wanted to do this for so long…"

**Finally**

The look in his eyes is a mix of understanding, longing, and no small amount of lust. His fingers thread in my hair with a tenderness that would belie the latter.

I smile, tilting my head into his hand a little before going back to the task at hand.

Literally.

I take my time with him, discovering every single inch of him with feather-light touches that make him squirm.

"Emmett, please... Stop_ teasing _me," he begs, trying to maneuver me.

With that, I give us both what we want, and it doesn't take long before I learn his taste intimately.

**Backward**

When we're both dressed again, Jasper flops down on the couch and pulls me to sit beside him. He gives me a kiss, followed by a grin, and then rests his head on the couch back, looking up at the ceiling.

"I don't know if I should say thanks or…" he begins, trailing off with a chuckle.

I kiss him once more and grin, winking. "Not the way I usually do things, but I can't say I regret it."

"Me either."

Tugging his hand, I wait until he looks at me. "You want to do something tonight? Grab dinner or..?"

**Date**

His grin's mischievous as he says, "I'm gonna need some time before we do anymore 'or', Em. Dinner's great."

I laugh, shaking my head.

"You're gonna need plenty of energy, too, fucker," I mumble, then school my face to look seriously at him. "You know, I don't put out on the first date for just any guy."

His eyebrows raise in disbelief, then he turns serious, too. "Better not, or I might have to rethink this whole thing."

He grins, then, kissing me quickly. "Come on, where are you taking me for dinner then?"

We walk out the door hand-in-hand.


	10. Departure

**A/N: **Happy birthday,_**TwoWackyKids**_! We know we're a day late, but we hope you had a fantastic day.

As ever, we don't own Twilight, it owns us.

**ooOoo**

**Drag**

I sigh, glancing at the clock. "Guess this is it..."

Jasper's hand squeezes mine. He smiles sadly when I turn to look at him again. "It's only for a couple of weeks, babe."

My own smile's brief at best as I nod. "I know. Just gonna miss you... it's not the same without you here."

"Yeah, I know."

We get up, throwing our empty cups in the trash before heading out of the cafe toward the train station.

We hold hands while we slowly walk the few blocks there.

Neither of us speaks, but the silence isn't awkward – it's comforting.

**Platform**

Stepping into the train station, my eyes are immediately drawn to the departure boards. I smile at what I see.

"Hey," I murmur, pulling him close. "'Fraid you're stuck here a little longer."

"Huh?" he asks absently, turning to look. "Damn it," he grumbles, sighing.

"Sorry," I whisper. "I know you wanted to be there early."

"If I could," he answers, and I hear warmth as he kisses my neck. "Since I can't... I plan to make the best of it. "

I kiss him softly, humming at his taste before he pulls away to say, "Let me call Pete."

**Steal**

I lean against the wall with my legs slightly apart, pulling Jasper to me by his belt loops as he talks to his older brother Peter, explaining about the delay.

Jasper grins at me, winking as his hand runs along my arm affectionately. "Yeah, I think I'll be okay making my connection. I'll call if anything changes."

Kissing Jasper's jaw, I say, "Hi Pete. You better make sure you two behave while he's there."

Jasper chuckles, nudging me playfully. "He says hi back, and he'll have the strippers waiting for me."

I growl.

Jasper rolls his eyes, kissing me quickly.

**Feign**

As soon as he hangs up and drops the phone in his pocket, he puts his hands on my hips. "You know he's joking."

"Hmph," I answer noncommittally, pretending to be annoyed.

"Pete thinks you're good for me," Jasper murmurs, kissing along my neck, "and I agree." He continues whispering soothing words, his lips teasing my skin, and my eyes drift closed as I lean my head back against the wall.

When he pulls away at last, there's a teasing tone in his voice. "Feel better?"

"Yup," I answer with a grin. "You just do that so well…"

He laughs.

**Seat**

He glances at the clock, then at the departure board again. After scanning the area, he grins and pulls me to an empty bench. "Come on. Might as well get comfortable."

When we're seated, he wraps his arms around me with a sigh. Kissing my temple, he says, "I really wish you could come with me."

I groan. "I know. Wish I could, too."

Unfortunately, being low man on the totem pole means work won't let me take the time off. It sucks, because now I can't be there to celebrate with Jasper.

Or see him give his sister away.

**Promise**

"Tell Emmett and Rose I said congratulations and I'm sorry I can't be there. Okay?"

Jasper's smile is lazy and indulgent as he brushes hair away from my face. "I know, baby. You've told me a few dozen times."

I sigh and nod, swallowing against the urge to explain – again – how much I wish I could be there. Instead, I change the subject. "Promise me something?"

"Whatever you need," he answers simply.

"Don't hide from the camera this time. I want to see pictures of you."

Immediately, he grimaces, and I rush to remind him, "You said whatever I need."

**Reluctant**

He grumbles under his breath, and I catch, "Pain in the ass" and "I should've known" as well as a few other things.

I give him my best Puss-in-Boots-eyes, pouting a little – something that's never failed me with him. "Please, baby?"

He narrows his eyes, huffing before finally giving in with a peck on the lips and a quiet, "Fine, fine. I promise to be a good boy and smile for the camera."

He groans and adds, "God, Alice will have a _field _day with this."

I laugh, imagining how Rose's best friend will take it and run with it.

**Speaker**

His pseudo-grumbling is interrupted by the loudspeaker announcing his train. Despite his reassurances that it's only a few weeks, he swallows hard and pulls me close.

"I'm going to miss you," he murmurs, kissing me softly. "Don't doubt that, okay?"

I smile, deepening our kiss with a soft hum. "I never do. I love you."

He whispers his love in return, and then we both stand, double checking his bags and ticket. Well before I'd like, we're moving toward the train hand-in-hand.

He disappears inside, and I watch from the platform, waving until the train is finally out of sight.


	11. Honeymoon

**A/N: **Happy birthday,_**KiyaRaven**_! We hope you have a fantastic day.

As ever, we don't own Twilight, it owns us.

**ooOoo**

**Early**

I moan softly at the sensation of feather-light touches brushing all over my skin – caressing my face, my neck, my arms, my chest.

It feels like a dream and, at the same time, all too real.

_But it can't be real._

_Can it?_

_There's no way that everything I ever wanted – and everything I never knew I did – could have come true yesterday__._

"Impossible," I mumble drowsily, still mostly asleep and clinging to it.

A chuckle.

_What the...?_

"Wake up, my Bella."

_Edward?_

I crack open an eyelid, barely registering the orange glow of the sun as it peeks in.

**Bright**

When my eyes adjust, the sunlight is streaming through the wide windows, framing Edward's face and making him look even more like an angel than usual. I'm torn between staring and groaning, closing my eyes because I'm sure this has to be a dream.

He laughs. "Oh, no, you don't…"

I mumble something – even _I'm_ not sure what – and he shifts over me, his weight pressing me into the mattress as he kisses me softly.

"You're mine," he murmurs. "My _wife_."

The near-growl in his voice makes me smile even as I return his kiss.

"I love you," he whispers.

**Remember**

"I love you, too," I hum.

Wrapping my arms around his neck, I breathe in deeply and close my eyes as flashes of memory play in my head.

_The beautiful dress Alice got me._

_The hairpins from my parents._

_Walking down the aisle with Charlie._

_A sea of faces that faded away the second my eyes met Edward's._

_Hearing his vows._

_Barely making it through my own._

_Our first dance._

_The cake._

_Flying._

I shift, frowning slightly at the unfamiliar ache coursing through my body.

"It's really real?" I whisper in awe.

"Every last bit of it, love," he murmurs.

**Indulge**

With that, he kisses me deeply, his warmth spreading through me as his body moves against mine. My hands roam his back, drifting up to tangle in his hair and down again to rest on his hips. With all we've been through, I'd been sure this day would never come – and now that it has, I never want to let him go.

At long last, he pulls away with a hum and smiles down at me. "Come on… I have a surprise for you."

I arch an eyebrow. "Sure you wouldn't rather stay here?"

He smiles incorrigibly. "We'll be back."

**Acquiesce**

Putting up only a token protest, I get up. When he starts putting on clothes and hands me some as well, I grumble in earnest.

He chuckles, pulling the tank top over my head before kissing the top of it. "Come on, Grumpy. Let's get some coffee into you."

Taking my hand in his, he guides me to the kitchen. Once I'm settled at the island, he bustles about for a bit before placing breakfast in front of me.

"Eat."

I narrow my eyes at him. "What about-"

"Eat first, surprise after."

I pointedly take a bite of my omelet.

**Surprise**

Despite my minor annoyance and impatience, we talk easily over breakfast. Edward somehow found time to slice fresh fruit as well, so we share that with our omelets. When we're winding down at last, he smiles at me.

"Don't get upset, okay?"

His words don't match the excited gleam in his eyes, and I feel my heart rate double. "Why?"

He clears his throat and shifts on his stool, pulling something from his pocket. It looks like the same box that held my engagement ring, and I frown in confusion. "I already married you," I point out.

He laughs softly.

**Home**

He places the box in front of me, nudging it when I don't move to pick it up.

My eyes flicker between Edward and the box. It isn't until his quiet, "Please, Bella?" that I slowly reach for it, opening it as if there were a snake inside – poised and ready to attack.

Instead, I find... "A key?"

I look up at him, puzzled.

Edward tugs at his hair nervously, grinning at me with excitement.

"Edward, what-?"

"It's ours," he blurts out.

I blink. "What is? The key?"

He rolls his eyes. "The small cottage you fell in love with?"

**Excitement**

"Wait…" I blink down at the key in my hand. "You bought it?"

"Yeah. I just… you liked it so much." He shrugs and runs his fingers through his hair.

"But I thought it needed all that work and…"

"It does." He grins. "But Emmett's already started on it, and we're going to help when we get back, and-"

"Oh, my god! Really?" I interrupt, launching myself at him. He laughs as he wraps his arms around me, kissing my neck.

"Yes, really. I want you to have everything you want."

"I do," I whisper.

"So do I," he murmurs.


	12. Quickie

**A/N:** Happy Birthday, _**Jaydogrut**_! We just wanted to make your day extra special ;-) Hope you enjoy the boys ;-)

As ever, Twilight owns us, not the other way around.

**ooOoo**

**Teasing**

I hear the buzz of my phone over the noise of the shower and grin, biting my bottom lip as I lean into the hot spray. As I soap myself up, my body hums with excitement from the taunting texts Jasper and I have exchanged all morning.

Then I realize that I still have at least ten long hours before I'll get to act on my promises, and I groan.

As my wrist brushes my semi-hard cock, I sigh and adjust the shower. Maybe frigid water will help calm my ass down so I can make it through my shift.

**Towel**

_Fuck, that's cold!_

It works, though. Shivering, I turn the water off, shaking my head as I reach for my towel. My thoughts keep drifting to Jasper, which isn't helpful, so I try to focus on my upcoming shift instead.

Wrapping the towel around my waist, I quickly go through the motions of shaving, wishing I could just leave it. Work won't allow it, however.

The water's running, and I'm rinsing my razor clean when Jasper startles me, putting his cool hands on my back. I'd been concentrating so hard, I never heard him come home.

"Good boy," he growls.

**Moan**

My body responds automatically, turning in his arms and kissing him relentlessly. When I can finally think again, I pull away far enough to murmur, "What are you doing here?"

His answer is delayed as I ravish his mouth. He doesn't seem to mind. He squeezes my ass and presses his hips against mine, making me moan when our cocks meet through layers of denim and terrycloth.

He breaks the kiss to whisper between panting breaths, "They let me go early after my double. Had to get home. Couldn't wait."

I groan as I realize that I have to leave.

**Persuade**

"Damn it," I mutter, resting my forehead on his shoulder.

He bucks his hips into mine, his grip on my sides hard and needy as he grumbles, "What?"

His lips attach themselves to my neck.

"Gotta go... work..." I whimper.

I shiver when he nips my earlobe and growls, "Don't care... need you. Now." His fingers travel down my back, cupping my ass before teasing my crack.

"Oh, fuck... babe... can't..."

Jasper uses every trick he knows, teasing my body relentlessly as he whispers and growls all the reasons I should stay.

I want to... so badly.

"Please," he whispers.

**Rip**

At that, I cave.

Rational thought flies out of my head as I step back to yank his shirt off. Sensing victory, he grins before his eyes darken and a low growl rumbles deep in his chest. He rips my towel away and drops to his knees, squeezing my ass almost painfully as he mutters, "Fucking _finally_." He raises his eyes to mine and adds softly, "Been waiting all goddamn night to do this."

As the last word fades, he licks a slow, meandering line from my balls all the way to the tip of my cock, making me whimper.

**Rough**

Jasper's mouth engulfs my cock as he sets a quick and dirty pace, his fingers teasing me. It isn't long before my fingers are tightly knotted in his hair, and I'm fucking his mouth, letting out a stream of profanities as I feel myself get closer.

He has other ideas, though, and right as I feel like I just need one more tiny push, he suddenly disappears, leaving me growling in frustration.

A wicked grin on his lips, he reaches into the drawer next to me, pulling out the lube.

"Fuck yes... please!" I moan wantonly.

Soon, his fingers return.

**Reflection**

"Wanna watch?"

He whispers the words in my ear as he strokes my dick. His teeth sting my earlobe, and I can't stop myself from biting his shoulder. Hard.

Without answering, I push him away far enough to touch his rigid cock. My hand glides easily along his slick length, and I just can't wait anymore.

I turn around, spreading my legs wide as I lean against the bathroom counter. I watch his reflection in the mirror and groan at the way his eyes roam my body hungrily while he strokes himself eagerly.

He meets my gaze and steps forward.

**Blaze**

The burn when he enters me takes my breath away, and I have to close my eyes a moment to make myself relax into him.

Jasper holds still until I nod, meeting his eyes in the mirror. Leaning in, he plants a kiss between my shoulder blades. His hands on my hips, he straightens again and starts to move. The pace starts off slow, but with every push in, he picks it up until he's pounding into my so hard I have to really brace myself or risk falling headfirst into the mirror.

All the while, I'm begging for more.

**Spin**

My toes begin to curl and my hips to tighten as I feel it – that elusive building in my groin that makes me pant wordlessly. I can't even tell him to keep doing _exactly_ what he's doing. I can only hold onto the edge of the counter for dear life as my body freezes in place.

Jasper thrusts into me wildly, driving deeper, harder, as his blunt nails dig into my hips. Every movement brings me closer until I spiral out of control as my release comes in thick, hot spurts.

"Holy shit," Jasper breathes as he realizes what happened.

**Need**

Once my vision clears, I watch Jasper in the mirror. Seeing the strain on his face as he chases after his own release while trying to hold on at the same time, I start babbling.

"Please, baby... need you to... oh, fuck..."

His muttered, "Fuck," as he snaps his hips into mine repeatedly just keeps me talking.

My eyes are wild when they meet his reflection. He bites his lips, his brow furrowing in concentration before finally – _finally_ – he tilts his head back and lets out an almighty roar.

I whimper-sob as I feel him come deep inside of me.

**Jelly**

When he pulls away, I can't make myself move. I just rest my forehead on my arms, which are folded on the bathroom counter. My legs feel wobbly, like one wrong move will send me to the floor, and I close my eyes, working to catch my breath.

Jasper chuckles, his warm hands rubbing my back as he urges me up. I stand slowly while the room spins, and I lean back into his embrace. "Thank you," he whispers, scattering kisses along my jaw.

"Mmm… thank you," I answer lazily. I turn my head, and we exchange a tender kiss.

**Promise**

After a moment, he pulls away, pecking my lips once before grabbing a washcloth and cleaning us up.

I groan softly, bemoaning the fact I don't have time to hop in the shower again – _with_ Jasper, this time.

When he's done, he pulls me to him, resting his hands lightly on my hips, smiling. "Tell you what. I'll have dinner ready when you get home, and after we've eaten, I promise to make love to you properly. We can have a shower then, or better yet, a bath. How's that?"

I hum, kissing him. "I like the sound of that."


	13. Without You

**A****/N:** Happy Birthday _**loss4words**_! We know things aren't easy at the moment, so we wanted to do a little something to brighten your day. We love you, and hope you enjoy it.

As ever, we do not own Twilight - it owns us.

**ooOoo**

**Picture**

_God, I miss him._

Sitting at my desk, dressed in nothing but Edward's pajama top and my panties, I stare at my screen-saver - a collage of pictures of us. I can't help but smile, my fingers trailing over the images of us.

Walking hand-in-hand on the beach.

Edward giving me a piggy-back ride across the river.

Edward, his chin on my shoulder and his arms wrapped around me as we smile at the camera.

And so many others.

"Only three more weeks," I sigh, reminding myself. "You can do this, Bella. Those three weeks will fly by, you'll see."

_Liar._

**Restless**

After getting dressed, I take my laptop to the deck and wish for the first time that I had somewhere to _go_ for work. Normally I love that my job is entirely online, but I could really use the distraction of other people around.

I find myself checking my email over and over again as the manuscript in front of me goes untouched.

Finally, I give up and open my instant messenger. I know he won't be on because he rarely gets a chance to sit down, but the next best person is.

_Hey, Ally_

I smile and hit send.

**Distraction**

As always, Alice knows me well enough to realize that I need to get out of the house for a while, so after chatting for half an hour, she tells me to meet her at our usual haunt: Becca's Tea House.

Fifteen minutes later, I've changed into more suitable clothing for what Alice calls "our tradition." Whenever we need some girl-time, we go there and have tea. The place is amazing and has an old-world feel to it. It even has hats and things to try on, so you can _really_ get into the spirit of it.

"Bella!" Alice calls.

**Relax**

As warmth from the tea spreads through me, I feel tension draining from my shoulders. Glancing up at Alice over my cup, I can't help but smile.

"How've you been?" she asks, her gray eyes revealing her concern despite her grin.

"I'm okay," I answer honestly, shrugging. I bite my bottom lip, debating, but then the words spill out in a rush, just like they have from the moment I met her. "I just miss him. I know it's stupid…"

She listens to me babble, offering the insight and words of encouragement that drew me to her to begin with.

**Enjoy**

We sit and talk for another hour, sipping tea and enjoying scones and cucumber sandwiches. As always, Alice insists we try on a few hats and take pictures – with our phones, of course. I give my usual mock-protest, but I secretly enjoy it as much as she does.

When Alice actually shoots off a few of the images to Edward's cell, I groan, burying my head in my hands.

She rolls her eyes, grinning.

Soon, both our phones beep.

_You both look lovely. 3 __E_

Alice nudges my side. "See?"

Shaking my head, I hug her. "Thanks, Ally. For everything."

**Relief**

I smile as I drive back home. Alice has always been able to make me feel better – about anything. I still can't believe my incredible luck to have such a fantastic best friend and then to have fallen in love with her brother on top of it.

Even better is knowing he loves me, too.

It took a long time for me to accept that he really didn't see me as just Alice's silly friend. I can't imagine life without either of them anymore.

I'm pulled out of my thoughts when I arrive and see a package on my doorstep.

**Surprise**

When I pick the box up, I almost fall over, surprised by how light it is considering it's almost my height.

The label tells me it's from Edward, and I smile as I hurry inside. Putting the box down by the sofa, I quickly open it to find a huge teddy bear.

Plucking it from its box, I squeal. He's so soft and cuddly – exactly something I'd have picked out for myself. Hugging it to me, I lean forward, rummaging through the box for a note.

It takes me a moment to realize there's one attached to the bear's paw.

**Instruction**

Seeing his handwriting makes something in me ache, and I scold myself again, trying to remember that it's only a few more weeks. Pushing aside both longing and admonishment, I read his note.

_B-_

_I hope that this bear can bring you some comfort on the nights I can't be there. I've missed you more than you know._

_By the way, can you go up to the office and see if I unplugged my desktop? I keep forgetting to ask you__._

_All my love,_

_E_

I frown down at the note, torn between amusement and annoyance at the strange message.

**Follow**

Muttering under my breath, I walk upstairs, the bear clutched tightly under my arm. "Seriously, Edward? You've been gone _how_ long, and you're worrying about-"

I stop mid-sentence when I glance at his desk and see a note taped to his unplugged power chord.

_What the hell?_

Kneeling down, I pull it off and step to the window in order to read, still holding onto the bear.

_B,_

_Thanks for checking. I need you to do one more thing for me, if you would__._

For several minutes, I stare at the note, befuddled. I automatically move to do as asked.

**Find**

My excitement grows as I follow one note after another, each more inane than the one before it. I _know _he must be here, and I can barely stop myself from racing to the bedroom, sure he must be waiting there. I'm enjoying his game too much to ruin it, though.

Checking the air filter to make sure it isn't clogged, I squeal and hug the bear when the note I find finally instructs me to go to the bedroom.

I bite my bottom lip, running on my tiptoes down the hall. When I open the door, he's not there.

**Deflate**

I can't help pouting as I look around, even going so far as to check out the closet to make sure he _really_ isn't here. Clutching my bear to my chest, I sigh. My eyes start to burn as disappointment settles into me.

When I turn to head out of the room, I spot the note lying on his pillow. I almost don't want to read it anymore, certain now that it's Alice, not Edward, who's been teasing me, although I can't fathom how.

Reluctantly, I skim the note.

_B,_

_There's just one last thing I need you to do..._

**Deck**

My feet are shuffling as I make my way to the deck. I'm too afraid to hope anymore, and I sigh before pulling back the blinds. When I do, my breath catches and I tighten my hold on the bear.

An overflowing vase of lilies sits on the table with petals scattered all around, but my eyes are only for Edward, standing among them in my favorite green button-down.

When he sees me, his eyes crinkle with his smile, and he opens his arms to me. I rush to him, dropping the bear along the way.

"God, I missed you."

**Question**

Long moments pass where we simply hold each other, exchanging deep, slow kisses.

Too soon, Edward pulls away with a contented sigh. "God, I love you, B."

My smile's wide as I look up at him. "I love you, too."

He brushes my cheek before stepping back. Confused, I watch him take a deep breath, then take my hand in his as he takes a knee.

I blush. "Edward?"

Squeezing my hand, his other hand reaches in his pocket. "Bella, I don't want to be without you anymore. Will you marry me?"

A ring hovers in front of my finger.

**Answer**

It takes me a moment to understand why he's just sitting there frozen. Then I realize that my squeal of _"Yes!"_ was only in my mind.

"Yes," I whisper softly, nearly breathlessly. "God, yes, please."

Our hands tremble as he slips the diamond ring on my finger, and then I do squeal, launching myself at him. He laughs as we fall to the deck with me sprawled on top of him.

His grin is devilish as his hands gently squeeze my hips. "Not exactly how I pictured this, but I'll take it," he teases, capturing my lips with his own.


	14. Unwind

**A/N: **Dear _**Conversed**_. We know you're hiding, today, but we wanted to do something anyway. Happy Birthday, sweets.

As ever, we do not own Twilight - it owns us.

**ooOoo**

**Stress**

It's been a long, tiring day after an exhausting week, but finally the time's arrived: the weekend.

He always has a hard time unwinding, letting go of his office worries, so I insist we go out. I don't tell him where we're going, and at first he doesn't even pay attention.

When we pass the bridge, something changes, and I know I have him. He sits a little straighter, a smile forming on his lips.

As soon as we get there, we both run, chasing each other until, finally, he hops on my back.

"Thanks," he murmurs, kissing my neck.

**Playful**

One of my hands moves to grab his thigh, holding him up as I reach back with the other to ruffle his hair. "You're welcome."

I can feel the lift of his cheek against mine as he smiles. "How'd you know I needed this?"

"I know you," I answer with a smile of my own that grows mischievous as I hook his arm and roll with him to the ground.

He laughs, picking up momentum to land on top of me. He pins me beneath him with a playful smile. "What're you gonna do now?" he taunts.

"This," I whisper.

**Relish**

One hand tangled in his hair, I pull him down and kiss him languidly while my other hand roams his back.

Edward hums, his eyes closing as he lets go. I can literally _feel_ him relax and just allow himself to be – with me.

There's no frenzy, no rush, as tongues dance and fingers caress. Just a sense of peace and rightness that I've only ever experienced with him. It's the same for him – I know, because he tells me often.

He pulls away with a soft hum, pecks my lips once more, and then whispers, "I love you, Jasper."

**Content**

He moves to his knees beside me before offering me his hand. When I take it, he stands and pulls me with him. Before I can ask where we're going, he leads me to a tree and sits against the trunk, opening his arms to me. "Please?" he asks. "Can we just sit awhile?"

"Like you had to ask," I tease.

He smiles softly. "I know I don't. That's why I do."

I chuckle, settling into his arms. "You should've gone into philosophy."

"Or psychology," he counters, kissing my temple. "But then I wouldn't have met you."

"True," I murmur.

**Refreshed**

We talk in hushed voices for a while about anything and everything that isn't work-related. Eventually, the sun sets and we grow quiet, watching the myriad colors across the sky – his chin on my shoulder, his arms wrapped lightly around me

My stomach growls, causing Edward to chuckle. I blush. He nuzzles below my ear, murmuring, "Papi's?"

Grinning, I turn to peck him on the lips. He knows my love of Greek food. "Chainti tonight?"

He nods, releasing his hold on me with a smile. "Of course."

"You feeling better?"

He kisses me and smiles, whispering, "Always do with you."


	15. Covert Ops

**A/N****:** Happy Birthday, _**mrsyt31**_! We hope you have a fantastic day. Quil and Embry decided to come play for a little while, so enjoy!

As ever, we do not own Twilight - it owns us.

**ooOoo**

**Attempt**

"Oh, hell yes! Check this out, Em!"

My heart beats faster as I lean closer, watching over his shoulder as Quil plays _Black Ops_ on his DS. The increase in my pulse isn't for explosions and gunshots, though.

It's for the way he smells and the heat of his body, heat I can feel even through the distance between us.

I barely stop myself from inhaling deeply and closing my eyes. Instead, I sit back quickly and busy myself with pulling my headphones from my backpack so I can try to study.

And I thought the library would be safe.

**Torture**

Quil is oblivious to everything – completely absorbed by his game, only barely managing not to be too loud and getting us kicked out.

His thigh keeps brushing against mine every time he excitedly shifts in his seat.

His frustrated grunts and huffs bring images to mind of _other_reasons for them.

Reasons that make my pants become very constricting, and my blood race through my veins.

_God, why do I keep _doing _this?_

It's always the same thing, and I can never seem to resist.

Not that I ever really try.

Annoyed, I run my hands through my hair.

_Fuck..._

**Hide**

I pull my headphones from my ears and toss them on my backpack, sighing as I stand up and stretch. "Be right back," I mumble.

As I make my escape, I can't help but wonder why he's here. It's clear that _he_ doesn't plan to study. So why would he want to come with me?

It's a question I just can't answer, so I shove it away in frustration. Instead, I head to the computer and type in my search, drumming my fingers impatiently on the desktop. While I wait, I breathe deeply and roll my shoulders, trying to relax.

**Find**

After a bit of searching, I finally find what I'm looking for. Scribbling down the number and where to look, I tear the paper and go in search of the book I need for my AP Psych class.

It takes several minutes before I finally find it. Not being in any particular hurry to get back to the table, I lean against the shelf and start flipping through the book, skimming a few pages randomly.

I'm lost in a paragraph about perception when I'm startled out of my concentration by Quil playfully tickling my side.

"'s taking so long, dude?"

**Quip**

"Just trying to make sure this one will work for my paper," I answer absently, stepping away as I try to get my heart rate under control.

"What paper?" he asks.

I roll my eyes, marking my place with my finger. "My Psych paper? The reason I'm here?"

"Oh yeah. Psych." He grins playfully, narrowing his eyes. "What am I thinking right now?"

At that, I burst out laughing. "That's psych_ic_, you moron."

"Not even close," he answers smugly. His eyes scan the shelf to my right, and he plucks a book off. "Maybe this'll help you figure it out."

**Cryptic**

Handing it to me, he tilts his head, giving me the most curious look I've ever seen before turning around and leaving me to stand there – staring after him.

Shaking my head, I glance down at the cover of the book, bewildered.

_The Social Psychology of Personal Relationships? What the hell?_

I look to where Quil walked, only seeing shelves blocking my view.

My mind's incapable of coherent thought as the words _relationship_ and _Quil _chase each other through my head.

After a few minutes of that, I finally open the book, checking out the table of contents.

_I wonder..._

**Confused**

As I read through the chapter titles, I mutter under my breath, "Adult Attachment… Interracial Relationships… Dyadic Data?"

By the time I hit the last, even I can hear the question in my voice. Huffing, I put the book back on the shelf.

_Dunno what the hell I expected…_ _he just picked it randomly._

My annoyance grows as I shake my head, sighing. I walk back toward our table, not knowing what else to do, and I'm surprised by what I find there.

Quil is again playing his game, but he's slumped in his chair and his shoulders are hunched.

**Distant**

Staring at him for a moment, I try to puzzle out for myself what's going on, even though I'm getting nowhere fast.

With a sigh, I run my fingers through my hair.

_Just can't fucking win, can I?_

I feel like I'm walking on eggshells as I go to take my seat again. Quil seems to flinch as I sit down, but doesn't otherwise react. In fact, he's ignoring my presence, which stings, making me wonder if I've done something wrong.

Taking a deep breath, I slowly cover his wrist with my hand and whisper, "Hey, Quil? What's going on?"

**Gulp**

Quil's eyes lift far enough to stare at my hand on his wrist. He licks his lips slowly and takes a deep breath, swallowing before finally meeting my gaze.

He shrugs.

I frown at him and pull my hand away, clenching it into a fist at my side. "What did I do?"

His eyes widen in surprise before his face twists into a grimace. "You didn't do anything."

His voice holds a hint of irony that I can't understand as he turns his attention back to his game. I shake my head and pick up my book without opening it.

**Courage**

I stare at the book clutched in my hands, frowning and trying to figure him out.

_Quil's not studying but came anyway._

Relationships...

_Figure _what _out, exactly?_

The more I think back, the deeper my brow furrows as memories flash past.

_Quil laughing, his eyes on me._

_Always sitting close to me._

_Including me._

_Sharing his dreams._

_Comforting me._

_Sticking up for me in school._

Glancing at him, I start to wonder if I was wrong. If he could possibly be...

Shaking my head at the thought, I take a deep breath, muttering, "Only one way to find out, right?"

**Piercing**

As soon as I speak, he looks up. His dark eyes pin me in place, and I feel my breath catch at the fear and uncertainty I see there – all mixed with hope.

"Quil?" I whisper without meaning to.

Emotions flit across his deep brown eyes faster than I can decipher them. "What's up, Em?" His voice is just a little too light, letting me know he's tense.

He attempts a smile that fades quickly, and something about his vulnerability spurs me into action.

_Please, _please,_ want this, too_.

My hand lifts, cupping his cheek as I watch him questioningly.

**Answer**

A pained expression flits across his face, gone as fast as it came as he leans into my touch, closing his eyes.

I stare in wonder, my thumb brushing his cheekbone, my heart thudding in my chest.

_Oh. My. God... _Quil_? How? _When? _Why hasn't he-?_

At that thought, I scold myself. After all, _I_ hadn't exactly told _him_, either.

I still haven't.

Not really.

I smile as I realize that I can change that.

"Quil?" I whisper, leaning closer, our noses almost touching.

His eyes widen in surprise as they open. He moans – a sound of pain and longing.

**Tentative**

"Embry?" His voice is shaky as he starts to pull back. He stops, steeling himself to reach across, resting just the tips of his fingers on my knee.

I swallow slowly, realizing just how unsure he is. I hope like hell that it's because he doesn't know how _I_ feel – not because he doesn't know how _he_ feels.

_Only one way to find out_.

My eyes close of their own accord as I lean toward him. My lips meet his cheek, and I don't realize I'm holding my breath until I sit back and it comes out in a rush.

**Tense**

My anxiety ramps up as I wait for a reaction from him. He's just sitting there, staring at me, his body so still I actually start to wonder if he's still breathing.

"Q-quil?" I whisper and sit back, my voice catching.

At the sound of his name, he blinks. He takes in a gulp of air, his whole body alive with the movement. His eyes meet mine as he lets it out slowly.

I try to speak again, but I can't. My throat's too tight with nerves.

_Oh God, I screwed up. He's-_

His lips close over mine.

-_kissing me?_

**Stunned**

I waste time sitting there, absolutely frozen in my seat before I realize that my chance is fading away. Not even pausing to think about where we are, I cup Quil's face between my hands and deepen our kiss.

A soft moan escapes me when his lips part and his hand slides onto my knee, squeezing nearly painfully. His tongue brushes mine tentatively, and my mind races, full of incoherent thoughts all centering around three things: disbelief, excitement, and Quil.

When he finally pulls away, his smile is almost shy – so unlike the guy who's been my lifelong best friend.

**Ask**

His brown eyes search mine as his lower lip disappears briefly between his teeth. I can't help but smile, even though there are a million things I want to ask him – and a million more I want to say.

Quil is the one to break the silence, though.

"I've wanted to ask you for so long... just... I didn't know – didn't _dare_ hope that..." He pauses, taking a deep breath as his fingers twine with mine. "Em, would you go out with me? Like... on a date?"

The hopeful expression in his eyes prompts my answer: "Yes."

_I can't wait._


	16. Liquid Truth

**A/N: **Happy Birthday, _**Manyafandom**_! We hope you have an wonderful day.

As ever, we do not own Twilight - it owns us.

**ooOoo**

**Party**

"You got him, Seth?" Emmett calls, looking up from helping Rosalie into his Jeep.

My arm tight around Edward's shoulders, I call back, "Yeah, I got him." My voice breaks off into laughter when Edward slings his arm around my waist.

"You're such a good…" he mumbles and then trips, catching himself. "Good guy," he finishes, and rests his head on my shoulder the best he can as we're walking.

With an amused chuckle, I squeeze Edward a little tighter. "You're a good guy, too," I assure him.

"Need any help?" Jasper asks, grinning as he appears at my side.

**Muse**

Jasper helps me put Edward in my car before he and Alice leave. By the time I get behind the wheel, Ed's already got the radio going and is singing along – off-key.

Shaking my head, I laugh and pull out of the lot, heading to my place, where he'll stay the night as usual.

I honk when we pass Garrett and Peter, hand-in-hand. They wave.

My mind wanders to our friends. It's been a long time since we were all together last, and I'm glad to see things haven't gotten awkward, despite the many changes in relationship status among us.

**Shift**

We've all been friends since at least high school, though some of us for much longer. We've dated off and on throughout the years – Edward with Rose, me with Garrett, Jasper with Peter – without ever finding the right fit. I'm glad to see that now that we're out of college, that's changing.

Edward took his breakup with Rose a few years ago pretty hard, but it's clear they're both happier now. She found her perfect match in Emmett, and I can only hope Edward will find his soon.

Something in my chest aches as I wish it could be me.

**Memories**

"Jaded" comes on, and I sigh, thinking of Alice. That song always reminds me of our breakup. She was my first – everything. I was the one that introduced her to our group, and she's been part of it ever since.

When she told me after three years together that she was sorry, but she just didn't love me _that way_ anymore, I was heartbroken.

Still, we've remained friends, and I'm glad she's found her soulmate in Jasper.

My mind wanders to the first time she saw me kiss Garrett, and I laugh. Edward gives me an amused, sidelong glance. "What?"

**Acceptance**

I chuckle, looking at him as I stop at a light. "Still awake, huh?"

He makes a face and slurs, "You laughing at?"

I shake my head, hitting the gas when the light changes. "I was just thinking about Alice nearly fainting when I… came out."

_If you could call it that._

Edward smirks. "'s what you get for man-handling Garrett in the kitchen."

I grin, amused. "Can you blame me? Was the other way around, though. For the record."

Edward mumbles something unintelligible, but he pats my knee, making me smile at how easily he's always accepted my bisexuality.

**Arrival**

We're quiet the rest of the ride home, except for Ed humming along to the radio until I park the car. I just catch his eyes shifting away from me as I take my keys and open my door, but I brush it off.

He waits for me to round the car before stumbling toward my apartment, insisting he can walk. When he almost faceplants, though, I laughingly put my arm around his shoulders to steady him, pulling him closer.

"Fuck," Ed mumbles, unable to contain his giggles, making me roll my eyes.

Suddenly, his arms are around my waist.

**Startled**

"Come on, Ed. Let's get you inside," I murmur, trying to control the emotions his casual touch inspires.

"Don't wanna." He plants his feet defiantly.

I tug him, half-pulling him along as I tease, "You just gonna stay out here all night?"

At that, he looks around blankly. "No," he says, his feet moving at last. "But I just… I…"

He stops again, and I sigh. "Come on, man."

"Wait." The word is clear, but before I can even turn to him, I feel his warm lips on my cheek.

I swallow, forcing a laugh. "Eddie, you're drunk," I manage.

**Earnest**

He frowns, shaking his head. "'m not drunk!" he insists vehemently.

I bark a laugh at that, causing him to grumble, "Okay, fine, maybe I am, but..."

He shifts, pulling me so we're chest to chest. My heart starts beating faster as I stare at him.

His glassy eyes flicker between mine with determination as he brushes his lips against mine, whispering, "Mean it, Seth..."

My mind tells me that none of this is really real, even as the rest of me – heart and body alike – appear to be doing loop-de-loops for joy at even the _hope_ that he's serious.

**Caution**

_He's fucking wasted_.

My mind wins out with that one realization, and I sigh, forcing away disappointment. "No, you don't, baby. Let's get inside."

At my slip, I bite the inside of my cheek, hoping he hasn't noticed. He's subdued as he follows me, his head down as he watches his feet.

When we get into the apartment, he goes straight to the sofa and sits down, his head in his hands. It's only then that I realize what he's feeling – rejection.

"Fuck," I whisper, running my hand through my hair as I move to kneel in front of him.

**Explanation**

"Edward?" I murmur quietly.

Nothing.

Scrubbing my face, I take a slow breath as I try to figure out how to deal with this. My heart pangs when I hear his breathing waver slightly.

_Shit._

I pull his hands from his face, hoping he'll look at me – he doesn't.

"Edward, please? Look at me?"

Reluctantly he raises his eyes to mine. I have to swallow hard when I see the hurt, fear, and rejection shining through the haze of alcohol.

Squeezing his hands, I try to smile reassuringly. "I'm not saying 'no' to _you_, Ed. Just... not like this, drunk."

**Reluctant**

He looks away, nodding.

I'm torn, afraid that no matter what I do, I could ruin what we _do_ have. I can't leave him hurting like that, though, so I cup his cheek, urging him to look at me again. "You're my best friend, Edward. I can't risk losing that because you got drunk and thought-"

"It's not because I'm drunk," he breaks in angrily. "I swear."

He sounds more sober, but I just can't take the chance. I give a half-smile. "You don't know how you'll feel when you sober up."

"Yes. I do." With that, he stands unsteadily.

**Lost**

"Edward," I call after him.

He shakes his head even as he rips his shirt off, letting it fall as he walks into my room. I fall back on my ass, staring after him, stunned and completely uncertain what to do.

The _last_ thing I want to have happen is for him to wake up tomorrow and think I took advantage of him if I were to accept his words at face value.

I just can't risk it.

But at the same time, it's killing me to know I hurt him.

With a sigh, I get up to follow him.

**Stall**

When I get to my room, he's already in bed. He's lying on his stomach with a pillow shoved beneath him, hiding most of his face. Sharing a bed isn't unusual for us, but I don't know how the hell I'll sleep after what just happened.

I head to the bathroom, brushing my teeth and washing my face mechanically. As I dry my hands meticulously, I realize I'm stalling.

"Grow the fuck up," I mutter, determined not to let this make things weird.

Once I slip into bed in my boxers, my resolve is tested in more ways than one.

**Restless**

Lying on my side, I stare at Edward as his muscles ripple with every breath, tempting me to touch him. I've always avoided paying too close attention like I am now for this very reason.

He's made it impossible for me not to, though. My mind's awhirl with conflicting emotions as I try to put things together.

I can't. To my knowledge, Ed's never been with a guy – never even been interested in one. So for him to have said and done what he did... it leaves me completely confused.

Turning my back on him resolutely, I try to sleep.

**Light**

I don't remember dozing off, but the next thing I know, light is pressing against my eyelids. I'm not sure why I'm awake until I feel the mattress depress and realize Edward's stirring. With that thought, the night before comes crashing back to me with painful clarity.

I don't want to open my eyes, sure that I will find him either completely unaware of the things he said – or still pissed off.

Before I can move, warm breath bathes my cheek, bringing with it the scent of toothpaste.

"I meant what I said," Edward whispers before his lips brush mine.

**Shock**

My mind's shouting a million questions all at once. Even so, I can't get a syllable past my lips, just an almost pained-sounding moan.

_What..?_

_How..?_

_Why now?_

_Why _me_?_

_When did he..?_

_How did I not _know?

He shifts so his body's hovering over mine, his arms carrying his weight. I can still feel his heat and smell him. My body responds too eagerly to him. He notices, and his next kiss is more determined.

My hands fly to his face, cupping his jaws, though I'm not sure whether I'm trying to pull him closer or push him away.

**Relent**

Before I make a conscious decision, his tongue brushes along my lips, silently pleading. I moan again, wrapping my arms around his shoulders as our kiss deepens. Something deep inside of me shouts a warning, telling me to slow down, to think about what this might mean, but all I can think of is the way he tastes and feels when his weight presses me into the mattress.

Slowly, my senses return, and I gradually pull away. I can't make myself go far, though, and his face is only inches from mine when I brush his hair from his forehead.

**Simple**

We stare into each other's eyes, each trying to find answers to questions neither of us has asked.

Cupping his cheek, my thumb brushing over his cheekbone, I whisper, "Talk to me, Ed?"

He nods slightly, swallowing hard and closing his eyes as he leans into my touch, almost as if he's drawing strength from it. Opening his eyes, he shifts to his side, pulling me along with him so we're facing each other.

Taking my hand in his, he stares at it for a few seconds before refocusing on me and starting to talk.

I listen in quiet wonder.

**Unaware**

"I thought by now we were… settled. I mean, we're adults, right? So I thought I knew where I fit. You and Jasper are bi. Bella, Garrett, Peter… they're gay. Rose, Emmett, Alice, and I – we're straight. I just figured that's how it was."

I frown at him, reaching up to run my thumb along his chin. "You're babbling," I whisper.

He gives a half-smile and looks at me apologetically. "I know," he says quickly. "I'm just trying to make sure you understand."

I nod. "Okay. I'm listening."

He sucks in a deep breath. "I thought I didn't like guys…"

**Compare**

His eyes flicker between mine, smiling shyly. "It took me a while to figure out that I _was_ looking at guys... and that I compared them all to..." He pauses, then takes a deep breath and forges ahead, "To you."

My mouth pops open in surprise, but I can't think of a single thing to say. He blushes, briefly biting his lip before admitting that none ever seemed to compare.

Taking a deep breath, he says, "I took my time, Seth. I thought about it long and hard... I didn't want to hurt you if I wasn't sure, you know?"

**Forward**

He blushes further as he admits that he even tested himself to see if his body reacted to me the same way his mind did.

I listen in fascination, torn between amusement – because it's so _Edward_ – and excitement. When he mentions wanting to be sure he was attracted to me physically, I can't help breaking in. "Are you?"

"You have no idea," he murmurs. He pulls me close, pressing his body to mine so I can feel his erection against my hip.

"Oh, fuck, Edward," I breathe, my eyes closing involuntarily.

"Are you attracted to me?" he whispers, sounding vulnerable.

**Admission**

I almost want to laugh, but I don't. Instead, I shift so _he_ can feel _me. S_o there can't be any doubt left for him, I take his hand and push it between us, maneuvering so we both cup my growing erection. My voice is huskier than I intended. "You tell me, babe."

His muttered, "Fuck," causes me to chuckle. He cuts me off with a searing kiss, and we forget everything else for a while.

Cupping his cheek, I pull back, whispering against his lips, "Tell me what you want, Ed."

I _need_ for him to say the words.

**Honest**

"I don't know," he whispers, his eyes searching mine. "I mean, I _do_, but I don't know how this works with… with another man."

I trace his jaw with my thumb and kiss his forehead. "Any way you want it to, Eddie. It's just me. Whatever you-"

I'm startled into silence when he presses me against the mattress, moving to straddle my hips. He leans down, scattering kisses along my jaw and neck. "I've been thinking about you… imagining… fantasizing…"

When he works himself up to say that last word, I groan and grasp his hips, my lips seeking his.

**Want**

My hands remain locked on Edward's hips, while his start to wander. Without losing our connection, he lifts off me just enough to give himself room to touch my chest, teasing my nipples.

Arching up into him, I moan and deepen our kiss.

_Slow down, _I admonish myself, and do so reluctantly. With a hum, I pull back to look at him. "Tell me, Ed. Please?"

I'm surprised at the raw, raspy sound of my voice – not helped in the slightest by Edward's continuing caresses.

He looks at me seriously. "I want you, Seth. All of you. All the time."

**Beyond**

He ducks his head, kissing me again before murmuring against my lips, "I want to know what it feels like to make love you to, what you look like when you come…"

His voice continues, torturing me with images of everything I never allowed myself to imagine with him because I knew I wanted them far too much. Strangely, a sick feeling begins growing in my stomach as I listen to him, and I gently urge him to sit up.

He looks at me questioningly, and I sigh, swallowing. "Is that all?"

"No," he answers quickly, cupping my cheek. "Seth…"

**Understanding**

"I've already got my best friend – I already love you." At his words, my heart skips a beat or two as he continues, "Everything I want from a significant other, I already have in you. You've been all that for me for so long... I just want to know what-"

He swallows, blushing again. "I want to _know_ you... be with you. Give you everything I have to give..."

He frowns then. "I don't know if I'm saying this right-"

I cup his cheek. "Ed... I think you just said it all."

He smiles before capturing my lips once more.


	17. Red

**A/N: **Happy Birthday, _**Captain Jezebel**_! We hope you have an awesome day, with lots of family and love and, well, let's be honest, boys ;-)

As ever, we do not own Twilight - it owns us.

**ooOoo**

**Red**

_God, I love this time of year._

I can't help smiling as I run my favorite route, taking in the beautiful sights. The whole street's ablaze in shades of red and brown. The air's filled with autumn smells.

My eyes fall on a guy stretching, preparing to run. I come to a dead stop as I take in his lean form, but my breath catches at the sight of hair that rivals the colors around us.

"Beautiful," I whisper.

He pauses mid-stretch, turning to me with surprise. The grin that forms as he looks me over has my heart racing.

**Invite**

I stand there, speechless and motionless, for a beat too long. His smile fades, and he gives a little wave before turning away.

I can't stop my hand from reaching out or my mouth from opening any more than I can make any sound come out.

He catches me that way when he looks back over his shoulder from a few feet away. "Coming?" he asks, letting his eyes roam.

Before I can answer, he takes off, running quickly enough that I have to sprint to catch up – after I finish checking out his ass.

I'm not missing _this_ chance.

**Breathless**

We've been running in silence for a good ten minutes, and not for lack of my trying to get my mouth to cooperate enough with me to form actual sentences.

It's as if every time I try, I'll catch a glimpse of him – the way his body moves, or his lips quirk up into a delectable grin, or his eyes as they continually seem to devour my body – and I lose all train of thought.

Except for one. Well, two, actually.

_He's fucking hot,_ and _I want him._

I struggle to control my breathing when his arm not-so-accidentally grazes mine.

**Stride**

Eventually we fall into step, the length of our strides matching perfectly. Somehow, the stress of what to say melts away. Our silence becomes comfortable, and I find that I _like_ running with someone this way, which is surprising since it's always been a solitary activity for me.

Even stranger, since I don't even know this gorgeous man's name.

He takes the lead, choosing a twisting side road that I've never followed. I find myself wondering what else I may have missed.

When we complete our circuit, he smiles, wiping sweat from his forehead.

"I'm Edward," he says simply, breathlessly.

**Enjoy**

After I introduce myself properly – thankfully without making a complete idiot of myself in the process – we talk as we go through our cool-down stretches.

Once again, I'm taken aback at how comfortable I feel around him, and I'm sorry that our time is coming to an end.

Edward's thoughts seem to be along the same lines as he straightens up, his lip caught between his teeth as if making up his mind. When our eyes meet, though, he grins. "There's supposed to be a great little cafe that serves breakfast not far from here. Care to join me, Jasper?"

**Want**

Our plans made, we head toward the small parking lot not far away. Other than my motorcycle, the only vehicle there this early is a very shiny, very expensive-looking silver car. Like my bike, it seems built for speed, and I bite the inside of my cheek as I picture Edward driving it.

He groans softly at my side, and I cut my eyes at him. "What?"

Clearing his throat, he shakes his head. "That your bike?"

I nod, smiling. He shakes his head again, biting his lip with a devilish grin. All he says is, "Nice. Meet you there?"

**Absorbed**

Once at the cafe, we manage to find a quiet table by the windows, the only one left.

After we've placed our orders, we both look around appreciatively as he tells me he'd found it on the internet when he researched the area before moving here.

Watching him as he talks about his recent move for his work, I'm enthralled. By everything.

The way he sounds.

How he seems so relaxed and confident.

The way his lips keep quirking up in a way that makes me want to reach out and kiss him.

His calf as it rests against mine.

**Curious**

"So now you know why I'm here," Edward teases, grinning. "What about you?"

"It's my home," I answer automatically, stirring my coffee.

He raises one eyebrow, the simple gesture making the corner of my lips lift with it. I can't help but chuckle.

"Seriously, there's not much to tell. I was born here. My family's here."

"You've never left?" he asks incredulously.

I sip my coffee. "I didn't say that. I went away for college. I just… came back."

"Why?"

He leans forward, listening with interest when I tell him how my parents accepted my sexuality – much to my surprise.

**Linger**

We talk for hours, trading stories back and forth about our families and our experiences coming out. He asks me again why I'm _here_, and I glance outside, smiling when I see the brilliant colors that paint the streets.

My eyes flicker back to Edward – and his hair – causing me to blush a little. "Why wouldn't I be? It's beautiful here. How could I not love it?"

Edward's lips twitch as he catches me looking again. Checking the clock, he laughs. "Jasper, how'd you feel about having lunch with me?"

"When?"

He tilts his head to the clock, grinning. "Now."

**Amused**

"Should we ask for menus?" I ask dryly.

He laughs again and reaches over to squeeze my hand. It's the first time he's touched me overtly, and I find that I like it – a lot. "Actually, I was thinking maybe a change of scenery's in order."

I shoot him a questioning look, but he doesn't elaborate. All it takes is one glimpse of his face – those full lips, that strong jaw – and I nod. "Sure, I'm in."

"Perfect. How do you feel about Mediterranean?"

This time I raise an eyebrow. "Love it. Didn't know we had any around here, though."

**Surprise**

His grin widens, and a wicked gleam flashes through his eyes. "We don't."

I blink and frown, puzzled. "Then where-?"

He tangles our fingers together, his eyes intent on mine. "I'm a great cook," he says simply.

My breath hitches, and my cheeks flame. Just the _thought _of being alone with him is enough to stir me, and food is the last thing on my mind.

As if reading my mind, he leans forward, whispering, "If you're lucky, I might even offer dessert."

"Oh Jesus," I breathe, causing him to chuckle.

I'm startled to find his brazenness turns me on.

**Detour**

After some debate, we both settle into Edward's car. The leather seats are amazingly comfortable, and the gadgets on the dash strengthen my assumption about the car's value. I don't focus on it, though, choosing instead to steal glances at Edward as he sings along with the radio.

We stop at the grocery store, where I follow him while he shops. He walks with a purpose, asking questions about my preferences now and then. The cart fills with fresh fish, herbs, and vegetables before he stops near the bakery and asks with a grin, "What did you want for dessert?"

**Bold**

Normally, I'm not _this _forward. I'm more a laid-back kinda guy, but something about Edward – the confidence and comfort he radiates – allows me to step out of my comfort zone.

My fingers dance along his arm up to his neck where I tease his hair at the nape as I lean in and whisper, "Are _you _an option?"

My heart's hammering in my chest as I watch his eyes darken, an oath too low for me to catch completely falling from his lips before they turn into what I now recognize as his signature grin.

"You never know," he teases.

**Tease**

When we get to Edward's house, he takes me on the grand tour, showing me the entire downstairs as we wind our way over the hardwood floors to the kitchen. Every room seems made mostly of windows, giving a breathtaking view of the colorful trees.

"What? Not showing me what's up there?" I joke as we pass the stairs.

"Dessert," he quips.

When I see the teasing look on his face, I decide on a little payback. "Hmm… maybe. If you're as good a cook as you say."

His green eyes darken as he mutters something and sets to work.

**Sense**

Watching Edward cook is sheer torture. Never, in my entire life, would I have considered preparing a meal to be something akin to foreplay, but he soon teaches me differently.

The muscles in his arms ripple as he slices, grates, and chops his way through the various ingredients. Every so often, he pauses and grins, placing an olive on his finger before bringing it up to my mouth. A quirked brow is the only invitation.

I moan softly as I let it slip past my lips, getting my first taste of him, all mixed in with that of the food.

**Decanting**

Sitting on the expansive wooden deck, I watch through the wide window as Edward pours the wine into the decanter. I find myself unexpectedly relaxed and decide to simply enjoy it and see where the rest of the afternoon takes us.

When Edward appears at the French doors with the tray, I stand and open it for him smoothly, earning a smile and an appreciative roaming of his eyes as he passes by.

He places the wine tray on the table with our meal and sits, pouring us each a glass. "To chance meetings," he murmurs as our glasses clink.

**Decadent**

I take a moment to stare at my plate in wonder – everything looks and smells divine, and I can feel my mouth watering. Glancing up at him, I smile and murmur, "Thank you."

He grins. "My pleasure. Here, try this."

He scoops a dollop of hummus onto a piece of warm pita and brings it to my lips, his eyes locked with mine.

Accepting his offering, I moan as the flavors hit my tongue. It doesn't escape my notice how his pupils dilate at the sound or how he shifts subtly in his seat.

His thumb brushes along my lips.

**Subtle**

It seems another silent invitation, and I lean forward until my lips are only a scant inch from his. He smiles mischievously. "Uh uh… you said dessert," he whispers, licking his bottom lip.

"That so?" I murmur, staying where I am.

"Yes," he answers, playfully adding, "damn you."

"You don't seem like much of a rules follower," I observe.

"I'm not." His cheek brushes mine as his breath fans over my ear. "Except when it's fun."

With that, I sit up straighter, narrowing my eyes as I begin to play his game, taunting him with accidental caresses and appreciative moans.

**Bite**

Through our teasing and taunting, we still manage to talk about seemingly everything. The more I hear, the more I want him.

And I'm at the point where I'm damn sure going to do my best to get him.

Today.

It's with some effort on both our parts that we don't rush through the meal. Edward truly is a wonderful cook, and I couldn't bear the thought of dismissing all his efforts by not thoroughly enjoying the meal.

Finally, though, I swipe the remnants of hummus off my plate with the last piece of pita bread.

Edward does the same.

**Torment**

With warm, soapy water nearly up to my elbows, I'm defenseless when Edward bumps my hip with his. It's such a casual, comfortable gesture that I'm briefly taken aback. "What?" I finally ask.

"Nothing," he answers with a smile that seems torn between amusement, frustration, and gratitude. "Dishes could've waited, you know."

I give him my best impish grin. "But following the rules is fun."

He grumbles wordlessly as he takes the plate from me to rinse, but as he dries it and goes to put it away, his lips brush the back of my neck. "So is breaking them."

**Taste**

"You don't say?"

He puts the plate away and throws the towel on the counter as he presses against me, pinning me between him and the sink. He nuzzles just below my ear. "Mhmm."

My breathing speeds up when he whispers, "I think it's time for dessert now, Jasper."

Drying my hands quickly, I turn around, searching his eyes as I tease, "I don't know about th-"

His lips are on mine before I can finish my sentence. My eyes close, my fingers tangle in his hair, and I groan.

Sweat, a hint of garlic, Chardonnay, and something else.

_More!_

**Gritty**

Any hint of awkwardness at this first kiss fades quickly, giving way to insistent lips and tongues. Edward's hands trail down my sides to grasp my hips, pulling me to him roughly.

He breaks our kiss to whisper, "I know this is probably incredibly forward, but will you take a shower with me?"

I pull back to look at him, smirking at our running gear as his question draws my attention to my own dried sweat. Before I can answer, he leans in, breathlessly adding, "I never do this, if that's what you're wondering. I just have to have you."

**Trust**

Why, I'm not sure, but I believe him. I don't know the man from Adam, but something deep inside is telling me to trust him. To take this opportunity he's giving me to be with him with both hands, and never let go.

My gut's never led me wrong, so I nod even as my lips find his again. He moans into the kiss, deepening it, and his fingers knot into my hair.

For several minutes, we stand like that, clinging to each other and kissing as if our very lives depended on it.

Maybe they do; I don't know.

**Pause**

Despite our comfort level just before, I feel a little awkward stripping in front of Edward. In the bathroom, he rips off his shirt off and lets it fall to the floor before reaching into the shower to turn it on.

My hesitation begins to melt away when he returns to me and puts his hands on my hips. "Say the word, and I'll step out. We don't have to do this," he whispers just before his lips brush mine.

Something about being given a way out makes me realize I don't want to take it. "Get in the shower."

**Heat**

The moment we step under the spray, we're attached at the hip, chest, and lips, our arms tight around shoulders and waists. Both of us moan at this first exquisite feeling of skin against slick skin.

I know where this'll end – I'm desperate for it – but I also want to make it last.

Edward seems to be of a similar opinion, but it still surprises me when he slows down with a hum and pulls away. When he begins to reverently wash my body from head to toe, I could almost melt into a puddle.

"Oh my God..." I moan.

**Turn**

When his hand wraps around my cock, my eyes flutter closed, and I lean back against the shower wall. He caresses and strokes, teasing playfully. When he finally deems me clean, he presses his body against mine, not speaking as he kisses my jaw.

It takes long moments before I can make my mind function properly, but at last, I gently push him away. "My turn," I whisper.

He moans softly, biting his bottom lip as he turns around at my insistence. As I sink to my knees to wash his legs, I can't help playfully biting his beautiful ass.

**Escalate**

"Oh, shit," he gasps in surprise, jerking away from me with a breathless laugh.

Grinning up at him, I make quick – but efficient – work of cleaning him. Thoroughly. His moans and whimpers grow as I pay special attention to every erogenous zone I know – and discover a few of his I hadn't ever considered.

When he's finally reached his limit for what he can take, he grabs my hand, turns off the shower, and pulls me out of the stall. He hands me a towel, and we dry ourselves with minimal effort, our eyes roaming, never leaving the other's body.

**Determined**

We stumble into his adjoining bedroom, our passage made a little more difficult because we are incapable of keeping our hands to ourselves. As we reach his bed, he pulls lightly on my hips, urging me to sit. "Sure you want this?" he murmurs, his thumbs rubbing my inner thighs.

I can't help but chuckle breathlessly as I reach down, moving his palm to my straining erection. "Yes," I answer simply.

He whispers, "Thank God," just before I feel wet heat wrap around my head.

"Oh, fuck." The curse slips from my lips as my fingers tangle in his hair.

**Bliss**

My eyes are transfixed on Edward, unable to tear away from the sight of my cock slipping in and out of his wicked mouth. His tongue teases and tantalizes me, but when I feel his throat constrict around me I almost lose it.

Carding my fingers through his hair, tugging at it makes him hum, sending delicious shivers down my spine. So I keep doing it.

The closer he brings me, the more I know: I _need_him.

Now.

It takes me several tries before I manage to convey my desires to him, but when I do I'm immediately rewarded.

**Longing**

"Fuck, are you sure?" Edward pants, his eyes fixed on me with a mixture of surprise and pleading. His concern makes me smile, and I reach out to cup his check.

"Please," I murmur plaintively, not wanting to get into a deep discussion just now. There will be plenty of time for that later, and this is one chance I don't want to miss.

He groans loudly and presses me back onto the bed. Our bodies are already slick with sweat once again, making my hands work to find purchase on his ass as he reaches for his bedside drawer.

**Anticipation**

The sexual tension between us is palpable – growing more so by the second as Edward works to prepare me. The care he takes is in direct contrast to the need we _both _feel for what's about to happen.

The second his fingers brush over my sweet spot, something in me snaps. I start babbling – pleading with him, "Just fuck me already, _please, please... _Need you... oh, God..."

I'm barely aware of Edward shaking his head, chuckling nervously as he prepares himself.

Spreading my legs further, he aligns our bodies, letting me feel his weight as he stares into my eyes.

**Connection**

His gaze never leaves mine as he presses forward, letting me feel every bit of him, inch by inch. Something in his eyes keeps me from urging him again to move faster, even though the sting of his penetration makes me crave what I know is only moments away.

When his hips are flush against mine, he pauses and leans down to kiss me thoroughly. No words are exchanged as his arms slip under my shoulders, his hands gripping tightly.

His hips rock away and return, driving him even deeper. My eyes roll back in my head as I moan.

**Rush**

The look on Edward's face is incredible – it's as if he can't quite believe we're doing this. And as if he wants to stay here – with me – forever.

I recognize that look, because I'm sure he's seeing the same one in _my_eyes.

When I look into his eyes, it's like looking into my future. The thought of that sends a thrill through me and only adds to the rush I already feel at even _being_ here. Doing _this_.

One night stands have never been my thing.

They never will be, either.

When his hips speed, I start babbling again.

**Flood**

My arms wrap around Edward tightly, squeezing his waist as my fingers grasp his ass. I just can't seem to get close enough. I crave the feeling of his hips rocking against mine, his breath brushing my neck, his stubble roughing up my jaw.

"Fuck, you're…" My voice breaks off as I moan loudly, my head pressing into the pillow as my eyes flutter closed. "Just like that…" I continue breathlessly.

His swollen lips capture mine, our tongues dancing as my nails dig into his skin. He drives harder, faster, and my muscles tense as my orgasm rocks my body.

**Join**

Edward's lips pull away just long enough and far enough to mutter a breathless, "Oh, fuck..." before they're attached to mine again, even more ferocious this time. It isn't long until I feel his muscles lock and his cock spasm inside of me as he finds his release.

He raises his head to look at me dazedly, incredulously. Reverently. A soft smile forms, his mouth opening and closing several times as he attempts to speak. His voice is hoarse and cracks. "That... that... wow..."

Letting my hand trail lazily from his ass up to his cheek, I smile, whispering, "Yeah..."

**Tender**

Before the word has really left my lips, Edward kisses me again. This kiss is slow and sweet, filled with something much more meaningful than I would've expected given how long I've known him.

When he pulls away, it isn't to go far. He slips out of me and rolls onto his side, pulling me with him. He brushes my hair back from my forehead and smiles. "Jasper, I…" He trails off, biting his bottom lip.

"What is it, Edward?" I whisper.

His expression turns shy. "This may be forward, but... tell me we can try to make this work?"

**Meld**

Staring into his eyes, I feel like I'm drowning in the best possible way as I realize that he feels it, too. This... wondrous, inexplicable, utterly impossible connection between us.

And, like me, he doesn't want to give it up.

His fingers play idly with a few locks of my hair as he waits for my answer.

I try, for just a second, to imagine walking away. To think what it would mean if I were to simply get dressed and go home.

I can't.

There's an instant hollow ache just at the mere _thought_.

I smile, cupping his cheek.

**Meld**

"Please," I answer simply, slipping my hand into his auburn hair as I pull him close for a deep kiss.

I know there are hundreds of conversations we need to have, starting with some of the most basic, and I find myself looking forward to each of them. There's so much I want to know about Edward, and I feel an excitement that's been missing for so long.

When we part, he hums softly and then opens his eyes. "So when's your birthday?" he asks, chuckling when I laugh.

I answer, amazed that we seem to be so in sync.

**Invitation**

We spend hours in bed, talking, touching, learning. It feels like we've done almost nothing _but _talk all day long, yet there's still so much ground to cover.

It isn't until my stomach growls that Edward looks at the clock and laughs. He turns to me with amusement glinting in his eyes. "Would you go to dinner with me, Jasper?"

Checking the time myself, I snort. Exactly twelve hours ago, we were having breakfast. It feels like it's already been a lifetime.

"Sure, but..." I glance meaningfully at our running clothes, scattered on the floor.

His eyes roam my body.

**Future**

Rolling up the sleeves of the button-down I borrowed from Edward, I feel a strange sense of belonging. He steps up behind me, wrapping his arms around my waist as he kisses my neck. "It looks good on you," he murmurs.

I smile, turning in his arms. "Feels good," I answer, meaning so much more than the shirt.

His smile is slow and complete. "Yeah, it does."

Our kiss carries promises, hints of what is to come for us. I know it's too early to say where we will go, but this is one journey I don't want to miss.


	18. News

**A/N: **Happy Birthday, _**Yellowglue**_! We hope you have an fabulous day.

As ever, we do not own Twilight - it owns us.

**ooOoo**

**News**

Edward's arm tightens around Bella, whose hands are folded tenderly over her stomach.

I feel Carlisle shift closer to me, his hand seeking mine even as I try to keep breathing calmly, sure I know what's coming.

"Mom, Dad..." Edward's smile brightens. "We're pregnant!"

Despite my best intentions to be the calm, collected grandmother-to-be, I squeal, clasping my hands to my mouth as I gasp, "Really?"

They beam, and I start asking questions in rapid fire.

"When are you due?"

"Is it a boy or a girl?"

Carlisle rubs my back, grinning when I squeal again, "Twins?"

"Congratulations," Carlisle says.

**Sentimental**

As the news begins to sink in, the room around me blurs.

"Are you alright, Mom?" Edward asks in concern when I sniffle.

I wave him off, laughing and sobbing at once. "Oh, I'm fine. I just can't believe you and little Izzy are old enough to have babies!"

"Uh oh," he teases, "here she goes again. Just like the wedding."

Bella laughs, hitting him lightly on the arm before leaning against him. "You leave her alone. I think it's sweet."

"You say that now. You know what's coming out in a minute."

I glance over to see Bella blanch.

**Image**

Before I can get up, Carlisle chuckles, reaches behind the sofa, and hands me the scrapbook that holds my most treasured memories of Edward.

As I open up the book, the thought occurs to me that I'll need new albums to commemorate the new additions. Each of my kids has their own, and I'm determined to do no less for my grandchildren.

_My _grandchildren! _Oh, my..._

I scoot closer to Edward and Bella, while Carlisle moves to sit on the armrest in order to see.

Bella blushes at the naked toddler pictures of the two of them in the pool.

**Shake**

We flip through, reminiscing about all the time we've spent together over the years. I pat Bella's knee and say softly, "Who would've thought when your family moved next door that we'd be here now?"

She smiles and kisses my cheek. "I couldn't be happier," she murmurs.

"You've always been such a good girl."

"This one's my favorite," Edward interrupts, and Bella and I exchange a smile. He was completely absorbed, as always.

We turn our attention to the picture he's indicating, and Bella nods. "Mine, too."

I smile at the very picture of innocence – two preschoolers sharing a milkshake.

**Family**

We sit and reminisce for another hour, sipping tea which Carlisle thoughtfully supplies. When Edward and Bella finally decide it's time to head home, they ask us one favor.

"Please don't tell anyone? We want to let people know ourselves." Edward's eyes are on me, though he addresses us both.

"Sure, son," Carlisle answers. I nod.

They leave after another round of hugs. Closing the door, I lean into my husband's side, sighing. "I can't believe we're going to be grandparents."

He chuckles, kissing the top of my head. "Just wait. It'll be Alice's turn soon, I think," he says.

**Future**

"No! It can't be!" I blurt before I realize it.

"And why's that? They _are_ twins …"

"I know… but she's my baby!"

He shakes his head, reaching up to cup my cheek. "I know she's your only little girl. Mine, too, you know."

I smile ruefully. "You're right, I know. It's just… are we ready for this?"

"Ready or not, it's coming." Turning off the light, leads me to our bedroom. "Just focus on all the babies you can spoil."

When he sees the smile grow on my face, he kisses me softly. "That's _my_ girl," he murmurs sweetly.


	19. Scrubs

**A/N: **Happy Birthday, _**ICMezzo**_! We wanted to do something special for you, and hope you have a wonderful day.

As ever, we do not own Twilight - it owns us.

**ooOoo**

**Tease**

Nursing's what I've always wanted to do, ever since I was a kid and saw how they took care of my grandmother. Today, however, I wonder whatever possessed me to pursue that career.

I glare at the pink-and-rainbow-colored scrubs Tanya handed me a few minutes ago to replace my soiled ones. With a sigh, I undress, pulling the pink ones on.

_Couldn't she have found something else? I _know_ there's more blue or green ones. _Anything_ but these..._

Walking back on the floor, I can hear the giggles. I close my eyes.

I'm not out, but I doubt they're unaware.

**Commiserate**

The elevator doors open as I'm walking away, and a flash of auburn is my only warning before Edward steps out. He takes one look at me, hears the giggling, and his face darkens.

"Bitch," he mutters under his breath. Then he sighs, looking up at me as he reaches up to put a hand on the back of his neck. "Sorry about that. Tanya's… well, let's just say she likes to taunt people. Men, especially."

I shrug. "Doesn't matter."

"I've got a pair of blue ones if you want. The rainbows are cute on you, though." He winks teasingly.

**Curious**

Quirking a brow, I can't help but wonder at his comment, but he merely chuckles and walks off to get changed.

Any chance to decide to take him up on his offer is lost when an alarm goes off and the next couple of hours are spent speeding from one task to the other without pause.

It isn't until Edward and I are both taking a breather, inhaling lukewarm coffee and stale donuts, that I'm reminded of the scrubs – and his earlier remark.

For the first time since I started working here three weeks ago, I really look at him.

**Interruption**

He catches my gaze and returns the look with interest. Something about his expression captures my attention, and I tilt my head slightly, trying to decide what it means.

Before I can say anything, I catch a hint of flowery perfume just before Tanya reaches between us to grab a donut. "Thank god," she mutters. "I'm starving."

Edward rolls his eyes and drains the rest of his coffee. "See you guys back on the floor," he says, tossing his empty cup in the trash.

Tanya watches him walk away. Just as he turns the corner, she says, "Such a waste."

**Puzzle**

Frowning, I drain my cup as I wonder what she means. I know better than to ask. If there's one thing I've learned while working here, it's that Tanya's a gossipmonger, on top of liking to tease people.

My curiosity must be clear on my face, however, because she comes closer in mock-conspiratorial fashion and stage-whispers, "Let's just say that none of us girls have to worry about any inappropriate touching from him."

She eyes me up and down with an overly appreciative look and smirks, "_You_, on the other hand..."

Throwing my cup away, I leave without a word.

**Beer**

I watch Edward surreptitiously throughout the rest of my shift. I pick up on the subtle differences in the way some of the others react to him, and it makes me hurt for him.

And pisses me off.

He takes it all in stride, though, laughing and conducting himself with a confidence I admire.

When I finally get off nearly an hour late, I run into him on his way out as well.

"How's it going?" he asks with an easy smile.

"Pretty good." I shrug as I pull on my jacket. "Hey… you wanna grab a beer with me?"

**Warning**

As I'm weaving my way back to our table with our beers, I see him watching me with a thoughtful expression.

It isn't until I sit down and we've both had a couple of sips that he looks at me with a half-teasing, half-serious grin. "Better be careful, Jasper, wouldn't want people at work to get the wrong idea. I _am _gay, after all."

Keeping our gazes locked, my lips twitch as I fight a smile. "I was kinda hoping you'd say that," I say quietly as I lean forward.

This time, it's Edward's turn to quirk a curious brow.

**Cautious**

"Why?" he asks with a guarded expression.

I take a drink of my beer, setting the bottle down before meeting his gaze. "Because I am, too." My heart speeds as I admit, "And I want to get to know you better."

Instead of smiling as I expected, he furrows his brow and turns his bottle in his hands, studying it intently.

_Fuck._

Just as I realize he must not be interested in me, he clears his throat. "There's this guy at work. James."

I frown. "Sorry, I didn't realize you had a-"

"No," he breaks in with a bitter laugh.

**Misconception**

Taking a sip of his beer, he sighs, leveling his eyes with mine. The calm in them surprises me, but I quickly realize that it's a front.

"He worked on our floor for a while, not long before you started, actually. We went out for drinks a couple of times after work – just to unwind, you know? James's straight as an arrow, but when Tanya got wind of it, she... Well, let's just say that James couldn't handle the implications of her 'teasing' and transferred."

He smiles softly. "I don't want to see something like that happen to you, Jasper."

**Admission**

"What a bitch!" At my outburst, Edward's eyes widen before he laughs.

"That she is." He shrugs, taking another pull from his beer.

"Isn't that sexual harassment or something? She should be fired!"

Edward's eyes harden. "Maybe. But it's not like James was willing to fight for a guy from work he had a couple of beers with."

Snatching up my bottle, I drink deeply, hoping it will soothe my seething rage. When I lower it, Edward's watching me.

"I'd rather talk about you." He gives me a gorgeous, crooked smile. "Have to admit I like what I've seen, too…"

**Reciprocate**

Ducking my head, I blush as he compliments my work ethic. It only gets worse when he leans in and chuckles.

"Hmm… interesting. I kinda like that look on you," he teases.

Looking up at him through my lashes, I flash him a grin – one which widens when I see his pupils dilate slightly in response, his lower lip disappearing between his teeth.

"Damn, I like that one on you, too. Wonder when else you make that face…" I say, only half-joking.

He blinks twice, then laughs. "Jesus, you certainly know how to make a comeback. Not shy, are you?"

**Talk**

I laugh, shaking my head. "Usually am, actually. Not shy, I guess, but… not that… forward? You seem to bring it out in me."

His eyes brighten wickedly. "Wonder what else I can bring out in you."

I snort, nearly spitting out my beer. "Who's not shy now?" I finally manage.

He chuckles and relaxes into his seat. "I had to get you back. Truce?" He holds up his bottle, and the clink of glass-on-glass seals our momentary agreement.

"So what brings you to Seattle?" he asks.

"Family, mostly. My sister moved up here with her husband and my nephew."

**Beat**

We sit there for a while, talking about where we're from, our families, other people at work. All fairly basic stuff. Neither of us is really paying much attention to anything other than our conversation until I notice Edward suddenly tilt his head to the side. I can't help but ask, "What?" when a slow grin slides across his lips.

He shakes his head and says, "Nothing, really. Just that song..."

We both sit and listen for a while as "Hotel California" plays in the background. Raising an eyebrow, I ask, "Eagles fan?"

He shrugs, sipping his beer. "Yeah, kinda."

**Link**

At my questioning look, he gives a small smile. "They were my dad's favorite. He used to listen to them all the time, so I grew up knowing all the words. It was one of the few things we had in common."

His expression is sad, almost wistful, making my voice softer when I ask, "Was?"

He nods, peeling the label from his bottle. "He died when I was in high school."

I don't know what else to say, so I tell him I'm sorry, and he smiles before saying, "Thank you."

Conversation stalls for a few minutes after that.

**Change**

"You hungry?" he asks as he finishes his beer.

I nod.

"You're off tomorrow, right?"

I nod again, wondering what he's up to.

Edward grins, managing to look both mischievous and hopeful. "Me, too."

There's silence for a few seconds, and then, "Want to go out and grab something to eat? Maybe go to a club or something? There's a great one downtown, and-"

Chuckling, I hold up my hands to stop the tide of words. I'm both flattered and amused at his rambling. "Sure. Dinner's on me, though."

He narrows his eyes. "Fine. The rest of the night's mine."

**Comfortable**

Edward insists on taking me to a barbecue place he knows after learning that I haven't had any good ribs since I left Texas. I can't help but laugh as he wipes barbecue sauce from his face, but my laughter dies when he licks it from his fingertips.

He catches my eye and winks, making me shake my head, chuckling. Determined not to focus entirely on my physical attraction to him – which is considerable – I ask what he likes to do on his days off.

"I hike a lot. Play games, read…" He leers at me. "Dance with hot guys."

**Taunt**

Rolling my eyes, I chuckle. He tells me about the trails he enjoys best and the things he's encountered on some of his hikes.

We end up sharing a double-fudge sundae, and when he reaches for the maraschino, I snatch it away with a pseudo-innocent grin, popping it in my mouth, stem and all. He stares at me, and I have to work hard not to grin as I ply the stem, tying it in a knot.

More so, when I open my mouth, the twisted stem on the tip of my tongue.

"Fuck me," he breathes, his eyes blazing.

**Club**

We leave our jackets in the car despite the cool night. As I twist to toss mine into the backseat, he murmurs, "Don't worry… I'll keep you warm."

My gaze meets his from only inches away, and I enjoy the way his eyes drift down to my lips before he grins at me. "Come on."

We both climb out of the car, and he walks around the front to meet me. He puts his hand on my lower back, and I decide I like it as he guides me through the crowded club, leading me straight onto the dance floor.

**Dance**

I don't recognize the song that's playing, but as soon as Edward turns me so that we're facing each other, I find I don't care.

His hands rest lightly on my hips at first, while I've got mine on his chest and shoulders. It isn't long, though, before we're both moving with the music, letting it take us where it leads – closer and closer together until we're hip to hip and chest to chest, my arms wrapped around his neck.

I can feel his moan as we move. It mirrors my own.

Edward's cheek's against mine, his breathing irregular. "Jasper?"

**Heat**

My hand travels up his side, tangling in his hair as I hum. "Mmm?"

He accepts the silent invitation, wrapping his arm low around my waist as he pulls me even closer. "You're gorgeous," he murmurs, running his nose along my jaw. His lips press against my cheek, just at the corner of my lips.

I smile, closing my eyes as I let his body guide mine. When my eyes drift open, I lean closer, tilting my head as if to kiss him. I stop just before our lips would meet. "So are you," I answer, grinning when he groans.

**Late**

How long we dance, I'm not sure, but I enjoy every minute of it. Edward is a great dancer and a bit of a tease – something I can appreciate. Not that I don't pay him back in kind.

I might just be enjoying that more than I probably should, but the longer I'm in his arms, the less I care.

Finally, Edward tightens his fingers on my hips, pulling me closer – my back flush with his chest as I rest my head against his shoulder. His lips are at my ear. "Getting late... d'you want to get out of here?"

**Invite**

The cool night air is welcome on my overheated skin as we walk out of the club. Edward keeps me close, his hand slipping under my shirt while his fingertips tease the skin just above my belt.

When we reach the car, he leans me against it and moves to stand between my legs. His hands on my hips, he presses close to me. "Hey," he whispers inches from my lips.

"Hey," I answer with a lazy grin, sure I know where this is going.

"Wanna go hiking with me tomorrow?"

"Huh?"

He pulls back slightly and smirks at me.

**Accept**

"Umm, okay? Sounds like fun." I frown, hearing the uncertainty in my voice.

Edward's grin widens. "Great! Leaving bright and early, so you might as well stay at my place instead of going all the way home."

There's something playful both in his tone and his eyes that has me wondering. Tilting my head, I ask, "What about clothes?"

"Oh, I think I have a spare set of scrubs you can fit in," he teases and smirks.

Narrowing my eyes at him, I try not to smile. After a beat or two, I manage, "As long as they're not pink."

**Surprising**

When we turn into a neighborhood, I glance over at Edward in surprise. He doesn't seem to notice, as he just keeps driving until he stops in front of a small house complete with white shutters and an oak tree. "Here we are."

I arch an eyebrow curiously, and he apparently mistakes my meaning.

"Jasper… all teasing aside, nothing has to happen. I just want to get to know you."

I can't help but grin at that as I lean across the console. "That's good to hear," I whisper, "but I hope you're not set on that 'nothing happening' bit."

**Explore**

A grin spreads across his lips as he pulls his keys from the ignition. "Tour?"

I nod, following him.

The charge in the air seems to change the moment he opens the door to his home and lets me inside. Neither of us comments on it as he gives me the grand tour, starting in his kitchen, which has a rustic feel to it, despite the modern appliances.

The rest of the place is much the same. Very homey and rustic, while still having all the modern day luxuries.

He hesitates at his bedroom door, his hand on the knob.

**Confession**

"Umm… want a drink?"

My eyes widen at his stalling. "Sure?"

At the question in my voice, he smiles ruefully. "Sorry," he mutters, and opens the door.

I shake my head at his erratic behavior and peer into the room. The sleek lines of the dark furniture mix with the patchwork quilt on his bed to create a unique atmosphere. I start to tell him I like it, but his arms wrap around me from behind before I can.

"Sorry," he whispers again, his lips ghosting across my neck. "I haven't had anyone in here yet. Just… caught me offguard."

**Drink**

He hands me a beer before taking a seat cater-corner from me at the kitchen island. I'm surprised to see him blush as he smiles at me and apologizes again.

Taking a swig, I shake my head. "Don't worry about it. You really haven't-?"

He coughs, blushing brighter. "I'm not fucking frigid or anything. Just never _here_. When I got this place a couple of years ago, I made a promise to myself to keep this _home_ – share it only with people I'd want to have in my life, you know? I don't know, I just..."

I nod slowly, pondering.

**Long**

His words give me pause, making me wonder what exactly he sees in me. Considering this is our first date – on the spur of the moment – I don't think he's exactly pledging his undying love.

Pushing the question away to consider later, I ask one that's easier for me. "How long's it been?"

He chuckles, licking his lips before taking a sip of beer. "Awhile."

When I don't respond, he adds, "A few months for… ahh… fun. A couple years for anything serious. You?"

"Some 'fun' in Texas. Nothing since I moved here. I've had trouble meeting people," I admit.

**Turn**

Edward nods, sipping his beer. "Job can do that to you... especially with the hours you've been keeping." Nudging my knee with his, he glances at me through his lashes. "You've met someone now."

Letting out a breathy chuckle, I nod. "S'pose I have, at that."

Tilting his head, he frowns, serious all of a sudden. "Just make sure you remember to take time for yourself, Jazz. Don't let the job define you. You deserve better than that."

My eyes widen in surprise.

He blushes again, quickly taking a swig of his beer.

"I'll keep that in mind," I murmur.

**Move**

"Sorry," Edward mumbles, staring at his bottle before giving me a crooked grin. "I sound like some old man, don't I?"

I shake my head, smiling. "Nah, I like it. You sound like you care."

"I do." He runs his fingers through his hair. "I've been watching you at work," he admits sheepishly. "I didn't know you might be interested, but… well, I like what I saw."

"I like what I see, too," I tell him quietly, draining the last of my beer and standing up. "Guess we should sleep, since we're getting up early," I tease, lightening the mood.

**Show**

After draining our beers, Edward tosses both bottles into his recycling bin before leading me back upstairs. He stops by the guestroom door, directly across from his bedroom.

Standing there for a long moment, neither of us says anything. If I'm completely honest, I have to admit I'm a little disappointed. On the dance floor, things had gone well, and I'd thought that it'd translate out of the club, too.

Looking into Edward's eyes, though, I can see desire warring with indecision. I can't help but wonder at his past, certain there's a reason.

He bites his lip.

_Fuck it._

**Kiss**

Remembering how comfortable we were all night before we got to his place, I summon my courage. Hooking my fingers in his belt loops, I urge him closer. When he comes without hesitation, I smile.

"Good night," I breathe. I tilt my head, ducking slightly to capture his lips in a soft kiss.

He moans, his hands sliding up my arms, and his reservation cracks. He pushes me against the wall, pressing his body to mine as his tongue parts my lips, eager and insistent.

He swallows my curse as I kiss him hungrily, my hands drifting to his ass.

**Breathless**

How long we stay like that, locked in this kiss in the middle of his hallway, I don't know.

My heart thumps in my chest, my senses completely invaded by Edward as he presses against me, ravaging my mouth like he can't get enough of me.

I know the feeling, because all I can think is how I want more of him, too.

Finally, he breaks away, panting heavily. "Oh, fuck, Jasper..."

He rests his forehead against mine as we both struggle to regain our breath. I thrust my hips into his ever-so-slightly, and he groans, attacking my lips again.

**Quilt**

Never breaking our kiss, Edward pulls me away from the wall, walking backwards as he guides me. I'm so disoriented that I don't even realize where we are until he pulls at my hips, making me sit down hard.

My hands run over his patchwork quilt as he steps back far enough to rip his shirt off, and my eyes feast on the tight body I'd only imagined as we danced. He's lean but solid, subtle definition just begging for my tongue.

When I reach for him, he grins and shakes his head. "Let me see you, too," he murmurs.

**Reveal**

Grinning, I pull my shirt off as slowly as I can, keeping my eyes on his. Seeing his eyes widen and darken as my body's revealed to him sends a shiver through me.

He licks his lips. "So fucking beautiful," he breathes as he pushes me back against the bed. Our lips meet at the same time our chests touch. We both groan, shuffling up the bed.

My hands trace every bit of skin I can find, even venturing where it's hidden as I slip them into his pants to cup his ass. His hips buck into mine in response.

**Plea**

The room heats with our moans and our bodies rocking together. His skin warms with my touch, and he kisses me all over, licking and sucking hungrily as his lips roam my chest. He bites lightly at my nipple, teasing it with the tip of his tongue.

"Oh, _fuck_!" I call out, my hands balling into fists to keep from ripping his pants off.

He grinds his hips into mine, making me whimper. He smiles and kisses me hard, whispering against my lips, "I want you. All of you."

I nod, my fingers tangling in his hair. "Oh god… _please_."

**Button**

I push him away far enough to reach his pants and make quick work at getting him rid of them.

As soon as Edward kicks them off the bed, he starts to work on doing the same for me. He cusses when the buttons won't open fast enough for his liking, making me chuckle breathlessly.

My amusement's quickly forgotten when he finally undoes them all and shoves his hand down them, wrapping his warm fingers around my shaft.

My head lolls back as he pumps me. "Oh fuck, _please_..." I moan.

I need more.

Need _him._

However he wants me.

**Desperate**

Sliding down my body, he tugs at my pants, and I lift my hips so he can get rid of them. Before they hit the floor, he's back, lying on his belly between my spread legs. He bites at my thigh, making me squirm before he licks my balls and blows playfully.

"Jesus… just… oh, fuck…" I can't form a coherent thought, much less a sentence, so I thread my fingers in his hair, tightening them as I beg silently.

He chuckles and whispers, "This what you want?" His hot tongue teases my head, running all around the sensitive ridge.

**Tense**

My eyelids flutter closed as Edward's lips wrap around my shaft, slowly taking all of me. I try to breathe, but it's staggering and stuttering with his rhythm.

Scratching his scalp lightly makes him hum around me, and I almost lose it right then. My muscles tense and bunch as he gets me closer to the edge.

Suddenly it all... stops. His mouth is replaced by the too-light touch of his fingers as he looks at me.

Edward's eyes are blazing. "God, Jasper... please tell me you want me. Need to feel this," he squeezes my cock, "in me. Please?"

**Visual**

"Yes," I whisper simply as I reach for him. He climbs back up my body, straddling my hips, and the heat of his ass against my cock makes me groan.

"You like that?" he teases, rocking his hips back and forth, letting his cock brush mine.

I can't speak. I just moan my approval as I pull his lips to mine harshly, kissing him with abandon. When I feel a little more in control, I break our kiss to say, "I need to see you, though. Please, Edward…"

"Whatever you want, baby," he murmurs.

"Ride me?"

"Oh, fuck me… yes…"

**Squeeze**

My fingers stretch Edward, preparing him, but it's his hands that roll the condom down my shaft and then lube and squeeze it before he settles on top of me.

When he finally slides down my cock, I let out a long groan, gripping his hips so tightly I fleetingly worry I'll leave bruises.

He pries my fingers off them, twining them with his as he sets a slow pace, rocking back and forth.

"You're so fucking beautiful to watch like this," I murmur.

He blushes, picking up speed. "You're too coherent," he teases. "Guess I need to try harder…"

**Pull**

My hands roam Edward's body, teasing his nipples, stroking his cock. I can't get enough of him – the way he feels, the way he tastes and smells. His cock pulses in my hand, growing more rigid under my attention.

With some unspoken agreement, I move to sit up just as Edward reaches for me. His arms wrap around my shoulders as mine encircle his waist, dipping and teasing, finding where our bodies are joined before my hand moves back to grip his shaft.

Our bodies writhe and jostle, making it difficult to kiss, but our lips meet again and again.

**Grind**

His fingers are tangled in my hair, his eyes closed, his mouth open, his brow furrowed in concentration.

_Fucking gorgeous _is the only thought besides that flickers through my brain as he grinds into me.

My hold on him is tenuous at best, his skin so slick with sweat it's hard to get a grip.

It takes me a second to register him hoarsely chanting, "Pleasepleaseplease," his neck straining as his pace becomes irregular – frantic.

Refusing to give up the connection, I do my best to get him there.

His lips crash to mine, catching his wail as he comes.

**Watch**

His entire body stiffens, freezing in place before he shudders and relaxes against me. The way his ass tightens around my cock makes me whimper, and he chuckles shakily as he kisses me. "Sorry, baby," he breathes.

He throws back his head, taking a deep breath as he begins moving again. I find myself looking down, taking in our bodies, glistening with his sticky release. My cock appears and disappears, and the sight of our union holds me transfixed.

My hands on Edward's hips, I guide him, helping him find a rhythm that has me crying out against his neck.

**After**

My arms are wrapped around him so tight, he barely has room to move, but he doesn't seem to mind. He holds me just as close as we both rest our heads on the other's shoulder. I can't help but smile when he breathes lightly against my sweat-slicked skin, making me shiver.

We sit like that for a while until we're both coming down from our highs, and I reluctantly let him go.

He surprises me by taking my face in his hands and kissing me slow and deep, his eyes closed. Resting his forehead to mine, he whispers, "Wow..."

**Caress**

I don't answer. I just reach up, brushing his sweat-dampened hair from his forehead as I smile at him. Taking his chin lightly between my thumb and forefinger, I pull him forward to kiss him softly.

He hums, his hands roaming my back as he returns the kiss. When we part, he offers me a smile before climbing slowly out of my lap.

He waits until I dispose of the condom, then holds his arms open to me. I slide over beside him, resting my head on his chest as we work to catch our breath.

"Thank you," I murmur.

**Hesitant**

We lie like that for a few minutes before something nags at me – his earlier words coming back to me. I wonder whether he wants me to stay, or if I should leave, even if that's the last thing I want to do.

He squeezes me lightly, pressing his lips to my furrowed brow, whispering, "What's wrong?"

Shaking my head, I lift it slightly to look at him. "Nothing... I just..." My eyes automatically flicker from his face to the door and back. "Wasn't sure if you'd want me to stay," I admit quietly – hesitantly.

He pulls me to him.

**Reciprocal**

"Don't go," he says quietly.

My smile is automatic, even as I ask if he's sure.

He nods and kisses my temple, his arms tightening around me. "I know we don't know where this will go…" he begins.

"I'm not asking for-"

He lifts himself slightly, grinning down at me as he cuts off my interruption. "But I like where it's starting," he finishes.

My cheeks heat, and he leans down to brush his lips against mine. "And I'm not just talking about the sex," he teases. "I like you, Jasper. I like having you here."

"I like you, too."

**Idle**

He grins crookedly, kissing my temple again. "Well, that's good. Would suck, otherwise."

He tickles my side, making me squirm and narrow my eyes at him. Tilting my head up with his finger under my chin, he leans in, kissing me tenderly.

He combs his fingers through my hair and asks me about some of the scars on my body, and

I let myself relax into him again.

I smile when I tell him about some of the downright stupid antics my friends were up to as kids – and always managed to get me involved in, much to my detriment.

**Sleep**

We lie awake for a few hours, sharing stories and asking simple questions. When I woke up this morning, I never would have imagined finding myself here, in another man's arms, much less his bed, but the more I get to know Edward, the more I _want_ to know.

I find myself smiling at compatibility and desire I haven't known for so long, and I can tell by the light in his eyes that the hope is there for him, too.

Eventually our words and caresses give way to yawns and apologies, and we fall asleep in each other's arms.


	20. Me and You

**A/N: **Happy Birthday, _**Purple5559**_! The boys wanted to join us in wishing you a very happy birthday.

As ever, we do not own Twilight - it owns us.

**ooOoo**

**Smile**

_I clearly remember the first time I saw you._

_You were sitting in the nursing home lounge, playing cards with two elderly women – your grandmother and her best friend, as it turned out. The three of you were chatting, laughing, playing as if you'd done so all your life__._

_Then you looked up and drew me in with your brilliant smile, though I couldn't do anything then as my Nanna came to meet me__._

_Your smile stayed with me, though__._

_For weeks._

_The next time, you and your grandmother sat working on a puzzle. You seemed so at ease._

_Happy__._

**Simple**

_The first time we spoke, your voice so close to my ear surprised me. I was fixing my coffee at the counter in that same lounge, and you reached past for the creamer._

"_Excuse me," you murmured, and I turned to find you watching me with the warm smile that had first captivated me__._

"_Here," I answered. I put down my coffee and picked up the creamer, handing it to you even as I introduced myself. "I'm Jasper."_

"_Edward… nice to meet you." With that one simple answer, my life was changed, though I didn't know it at the time_.

**Chat**

_We talked for a few minutes, both making a second cup of coffee before going back to our grandmothers._

_You made sure to give me your number, asking me to call you in order to get together later that week__._

_I almost didn't, too nervous to take that step. Especially since I would only be in town for a couple of weeks__._

_It took me two days to muster the courage to do it, and you answered the phone as if you'd been ready for my call, talking as if you'd known me for months instead of a few days__. _

**Date**

_That first date was unlike any I've ever had. It wasn't because we went anywhere special or did anything unusual – it was just_ you.

_From the start, you've had a way of asking questions and drawing me out of my shell without making me feel uncomfortable or exposed. I can't tell you how much that means to me, even though I've tried dozens of times. I guess this is yet another attempt, but I don't know if it's coming across__._

_When you pulled up in front of my hotel to drop me off, I didn't want our night to end__._

**Kiss**

_You walked me all the way up to my room, and for the first time, you appeared nervous and shy. It surprised and intrigued me, even as it pulled me in__._

_I remember reaching out, cupping your jaw with my hand as we gazed into each other's eyes._

_Then slowly, so slowly, you leaned in and pressed your lips to mine in the most tender first kiss I'd ever experienced._

_I think I even sighed a little__._

_I definitely remember smiling goofily as you pulled away, placing your hands lightly on my hips__._

"_Thank you, for tonight, Jasper," you whispered._

**Time**

_The next two weeks passed so quickly. It shocked me at first that you wanted to see me every single day, but it thrilled me, too – because I wanted that, too. I was touched by the way you insisted that I spend time with my family, knowing that I was leaving soon__._

_In truth, I was a little disappointed, too, because I thought I was more attracted to you than you were to me. You quickly put that fear to rest, though, and I will always remember your touch, your lips, your taste, your _heat _as we explored each other__._

**Alone**

_Leaving you that first time was the hardest thing I'd ever done up to that point, but work left me no choice. I'll never forget the look on your face as we said goodbye – part sad, part hopeful as you assured me you'd wait for me__._

_The moment I was on the road home, I was already counting down the hours until I'd be back in town again._

_Back in your arms._

_Even though we were apart for the next two months you never let me feel alone. Your calls, e-mails, and letters – even occasional care packages – deepened our connection__._

**Caution**

_Somehow, we made it. It was never easy – stealing a couple of nights here and there, spending more time on instant messenger and Skype than in each others' arms – but it was always worth it__._

_It was harder listening to the things our friends said. We'd just met. We lived too far apart. Our passion would fade. Don't do anything rash__._

_I have to admit that it was all good advice. Logically, what they were saying – to both of us – made sense. But it just didn't add it up with what I'd felt for you since the moment we met__._

**Juggle**

_Over time, it became more and more difficult to strike a balance between work and being with you, as my assignments changed and made it harder to come to town._

_Still, you never asked me to change jobs and move closer. You always supported me, telling me to do what I needed to do for_ me_._

"_Everything else will fall into place," you always said, and I believed you__._

_I still do._

_It's why I never asked you to move, either. I know your Gran is the only family you have left, and I refuse to deny you that connection__._

**Realization**

_I know you know all of this. I just need you to understand where I'm coming from. I've been trying for so long now to make my life work, and I finally realized – it doesn't without you__._

_Your infinite patience and unyielding loyalty are blessings, but they aren't enough. I need _you_. With me. Every day__._

_I wanted to tell you all of this, but every time I look at you, I get distracted by your eyes and your smile, and I just want to kiss you and feel the way you love me. I didn't want that this time__._

**Choice**

_It's taken me too long to get to this point, but now that I finally am, I'm more than ready for it._

_Edward, I've made my choice._

_I want you._

_I want _us.

_Now and forever, if you'll have me__._

_Yesterday was my last day at work._

_I quit._

_I'm sorry that I kept this from you, but I had to do it this way or you'd have distracted me again. Or tried to talk me out of it__._

_Last week I had my last interview for a new job and got accepted. I start next month._

_I'm staying, baby__. _

**Chance**

_I realize this is a big risk. We haven't lived together, and it's possible that I drive you crazy and you _like _being away from me, no matter what you tell me._

_I don't think so, though__._

_That broken look in your eyes whenever I tell you goodbye haunts me. I never want to make you feel sad or alone again, so I'm taking this chance. I hope more than anything that you want what I do – us, together, always__._

_The one thing I ask is that you tell me honestly what you want. No matter what, I love you__._

**Stunned**

I scan the page again.

_No matter what, I love you. Jasper._

I sit silently, my head against the headboard as I blink rapidly, trying to see through tears that threaten to fall.

"I can't believe it," I whisper, awed.

I re-read every word, needing to make sure I got it right the first time. I'm vaguely aware of sounds coming from my kitchen as Jasper's supposedly making breakfast. Though now, I'm wondering if it's more likely he just fled, nervous about what my reaction might be.

_As if there was any doubt._

"I love you, too, Jazz," I breathe.

**Search**

I wipe my eyes with the back of my hand and clear my throat as I toss aside the covers. I grab my boxers and pull them on, not bothering with anything else. The letter is still clutched in my fist when I leave the room – I'm almost afraid that if I put it down, it will all disappear.

When I step into the kitchen, he's standing at the stove. I can't help but notice that he's bouncing his knees the way he always does when he's nervous.

"Jasper," I whisper, crossing the floor and wrapping my arms around him.

**Question**

Kissing between his shoulder blades, I whisper, "Did you mean it?"

Clutching his letter tight, I hold my breath as I wait for his answer.

He stills completely.

My heart's beating so loud, I can almost hear it – every beat counting down the seconds until he finally takes a deep breath and says quietly, "Yes. Every word."

Briefly squeezing him tighter, I let him go only to turn him around so I can see his eyes. Cupping his cheek, I smile.

"Really? You're staying?"

He nods, swallowing hard as his eyes search mine. "Tell me I'm not crazy," he breathes.

**Disbelief**

"Crazy?" I ask in confusion. "What the hell do you mean?"

He bites the inside of his cheek, glancing away before looking back at me. "I know I should've talked to you first. If you want me to go or to find my own place or-"

I give up trying to break in and just grab his face, silencing him with a searing kiss. He moans softly and wraps his arms around my waist, pulling me closer as he tilts his head and deepens our kiss. When we part, he presses his forehead to mine.

"You're not crazy," I murmur.

**Complete**

Gazing at him, I can't help but smile. "I can't believe you don't have to leave anymore..."

He kisses the tip of my nose, smiling shyly as he whispers, "Not ever, baby."

Tightening my arms around him, I breathe in deeply, utterly content, before kissing him again.

After a few minutes, our grumbling stomachs convince us to actually have breakfast. As we prepare the spread, side-by-side, we talk.

"What about your things? When can you move in?"

He smiles sheepishly. "I kinda already have everything packed? It's in a Pod, waiting for me."

"You're kidding." I gape.

"Nope," he answers.

**Plan**

We spend the rest of breakfast making plans. Several times, he pauses, offering to leave his things in storage or rent an apartment – so often, in fact, that I finally say, "Jasper, baby… are you having second thoughts?"

At that, his eyes fly wide. "No! I just… I don't want to force you to do something you don't want to do."

I give him a small smile. "You're right. You _are_ crazy."

He frowns at me and glances down until I reach across to take his hand.

"If you think I don't want you here, you're out of your mind."

**Move**

The smile on Jasper's face spreads slowly but ends brilliantly as he stares into my eyes and nods. "Okay."

I grin, squeezing his hand once before attacking my pancakes.

When we're done, I tell Jasper to call and have his Pod delivered as soon as possible, while I do the dishes.

He comes back to the kitchen, biting his lip and smiling. "Babe?"

"Yeah?"

"We need to do some rearranging, huh? They can have it here as early as five... today."

I laugh, hugging him as I kiss his cheek. "Welcome home, Jasper."

"So good to be home," he murmurs.


	21. Good Morning

**A/N: **Happy Birthday, _**OnTheTurningAway**_! We hope you have a fantastic day.

As ever, we do not own Twilight - it owns us.

**ooOoo**

**Morning**

A muffled, "Fuck!" reaches my ears as Edward stumbles into the dresser in his hurry to get ready. He's running late, and my boy's never been a morning person.

In fact, I've learned the hard way that it's always best to let him wake up and get some coffee in him before even trying to talk to him.

Unless I wake him up by other means, but there's no time for that right now.

Not that he'd be in the mood anyway.

I sigh, nuzzling into my pillow as I allow myself a few more minutes before getting up, too.

**Impatient**

Rubbing my eye with the heel of my hand, I yawn and make my way to the kitchen. Just before I reach the open doorway, I hear Edward grumble, "Come the fuck _on_!"

I bite back my chuckle, but I can't help the fond smile on my lips as I peer into the kitchen cautiously.

I'm stopped dead in my tracks at the sight before me. Edward's standing there, his hair insane as he taps his foot impatiently. My eyes travel across his bare, broad shoulders, tracing the lines of his tanned skin to the tiny white briefs he wears.

**Want**

I honestly try to hold back the groan building up inside of me, but I fail when Edward shifts his weight from foot to foot.

He ignores me, though, intent on the _drip drip drip_ of the coffee pot as it relinquishes his precious nectar.

"Finally," he huffs, pulling out the carafe, pouring himself a cup and almost inhaling it, not even waiting for it to cool down.

"Fuck," he grumbles, hissing and grimacing at having burnt his tongue.

I roll my eyes as I step up to him, wrapping my arms lightly around his waist and kissing his neck.

**Soothe**

He sighs, stiffening for a moment before he relaxes and puts his hand over mine. I feel tension begin to drain from his body as he leans back against me.

I don't speak. I just kiss his neck, teasing the taut skin of his abdomen with my fingertips, just the way he likes. His eyes drift closed, and a smile breaks across his lips when I hit the ticklish spot just inside his hip.

He laces his fingers through mine while my lips scatter kisses along his jaw, stopping just at his ear. "Better?"

"Much," he murmurs contently. "Thank you."

**Steal**

Draining the last of his cup, he puts it down and turns in my arms.

I grin. "Good morning."

His lips twitch in response as he murmurs, "Good morning to you," and wraps his arms around my waist.

His eyes seem to come alive in front of me, as does the rest of his body as he leans against the counter, pulling me with him. When he tilts his head and leans in, I more than welcome his kiss.

Unable to stop myself, my hands begin to wander. Ed moans into my mouth as I cup his hard-on, rubbing teasingly.

**Token**

He breaks away just far enough to whisper, "Thesis…"

I press my body against his so he can feel my arousal as I nip his earlobe. "Do you _have_ to go?"

He groans, his hips rocking against mine as his head lolls back against the cabinet. "Gotta meet Dr. Hendricks at ten."

Glancing at the clock, I smile broadly. "Come on, baby; it's not even eight. I promise I'll make you feel good."

"Want to," he whispers huskily. "Need to research a couple things, though."

I can tell by the way his hands knead my ass that I've already won.

**Consent**

Kissing and licking from his jaw to his neck, I slowly work my way down, relishing the quiet moans coming from him.

His hands find their way to my hair, tangling themselves in my curls as he pulls and pushes in equal measure, trying to make me go faster, lower.

I tease him, though, taking my time as I nip and lick along his torso until I'm on my knees, my thumbs hooked in his briefs as I look up at him.

His eyes are hooded, his breathing rapid as he gazes down at me. "So fucking beautiful," he whispers.

**Strip**

I grin up at him wickedly as I yank his briefs down to his thighs, sending his hard cock bouncing just beside my face. His breathing hitches when it brushes my cheek, and I lean forward to kiss his abdomen just above his pubic bone. "You like that, baby?"

"Mmm…" he manages, his nails scratching my scalp. "God, please…"

I run my hands up his thighs, my thumbs skimming his balls as I take his head between my lips. He inhales sharply, whispering wordless encouragement. He spreads his feet wider and moves his hands to the counter as he begs.

**Lick**

My hands knead his thighs as I suck his cock, my tongue licking and teasing the rim and slit.

Edward whimpers. Without losing eye contact, I take a long lick along his shaft before wrapping my lips around it and taking him in until he hits the back of my throat, my nose brushing against his pelvis.

He shudders, cursing softly as I swallow around him.

"Jazz... oh fuck, baby... please..."

His hand rests on the back of my head as I set my rhythm. He tries to make me go faster but gives up soon – giving himself completely over.

**Tremble**

I pause and slip my first two fingers into my mouth with his swollen cock. Making sure they are nice and slick, I move my hand between his legs and tease his ass. He groans loudly, dropping down slightly to open himself to me.

My middle finger teases his puckered flesh before slipping past the tight ring, and he cries out. His hands both move to the back of my head, pulling me forward so quickly that I nearly choke. He shudders, and I can feel him struggling to relax before he begins rocking his hips, driving my fingers deeper.

**Ecstasy**

The look on Edward's face is worth any discomfort I feel as he fucks himself on my fingers and down my throat.

The sounds he makes turn me on even more than before, but I refuse to take myself in hand.

This is about Edward, not me, and I double my efforts to get him there.

His chin is to his chest as he pants, my name a near-constant chant on his lips. His eyes are scrunched tightly shut as he suddenly convulses and gives me my salty reward. I hum, relishing his taste, knowing I did this to him.

**Offer**

I coax him through his orgasm and stand, wincing at the pain in my knees. He runs a shaky hand through his hair and then reaches out blindly, his eyes still closed. When he touches me, he pulls me close, kissing me hungrily.

"You are unbelievable," he whispers as he pulls away and opens his eyes. He seems more alert now than after his coffee, and I can't help smiling with pride.

He laughs at me softly and reaches down, wrapping his fingers around my cock through my boxers. "Now, what are we going to do with you..?" he teases.

**Usher**

With a groan, I gently pull his hand away, earning me a pout. I _want_ him and would love nothing more than to take him – right here, right now – but I can't.

I kiss him gently, pick up his briefs off the floor, and hand them to him as I pat his ass lightly. "Thesis, remember?" I tease.

He rolls his eyes with a huff, grabs the back of my neck, and pulls me in for a searing kiss full of promise.

"You better believe you're getting payback tonight, sweetheart," he says gruffly as I usher him to the shower.

**Anticipate**

I watch him walk away and then lean against the counter with a groan. My fists clench, and I exhale heavily before chuckling and shaking my head. Trying to distract myself from my arousal, I move around the kitchen to make breakfast.

By the time Edward comes back in the room fully dressed, I'm sitting at the table eating scrambled eggs and toast. He walks up behind me and leans down, kissing the top of my head as he steals a bite of bacon.

"Here you go, babe," I say, picking up the brown paper bag I packed for him.

**Promise**

"Thanks, baby," he hums, kissing me and grabbing the bag. "Gotta go; should be back by dinnertime."

"Good luck," I murmur, suppressing a grin.

"Thanks," he says wryly, stealing another piece of bacon as he heads out the door.

Shaking my head, I chuckle and finish eating my breakfast. As soon as I'm done, I head to the shower after grabbing my phone, knowing I'll get a text from Edward once he's found the message I wrote on the napkin I wrapped around his bacon, egg, and cheese bagel.

The one promising a good, thorough fucking when he gets home.


	22. Topsy Turvy

**A/N: **Dearest **theladyingrey42**,

We hope you know how much you mean to us both. We feel incredibly lucky to know you and to have you as a beta. You are amazing, and we hope your day is just as awesome! We wanted to share you a little bit of awkward boy love - we hope you enjoy it!

As ever, we do not own Twilight - it owns us.

**ooOoo**

**Normal**

He's sitting so close, his leg pressed against mine so tightly that I can feel his knee bouncing. His blue eyes are focused on the screen, completely absorbed by our game.

The way I _should_ be.

So why am I not?

Why do I keep noticing the freckle right beside his ear and the little scar on his jaw from when he fell out of my tree house when we were nine? Why do I keep breathing deeply, pretending to sigh just so I can smell him?

Why can't I just hang out with my best friend and be normal?

**Anxious**

"Ha!"

Jasper's exclamation as he beats me – again – startles me out of my reverie. I know he's grinning, but I try to ignore it, choosing instead to hit rematch.

He nudges my elbow. "Third time's the charm?"

I huff noncommittally and try to focus just on _Mortal Combat_, but it's pointless. The only thing I'm apparently able to really take in, is everything Jasper.

Far too quickly, he knocks my health down again and beats me.

"Oh, man! Did you _see_ that? God, I love Subzero's abilities!" he says excitedly.

Throwing my controller on the couch, I clear my throat.

**Excuse**

I wipe my sweaty palms on my knees and stand up, suddenly desperate for some air. "Think I'm going to take a break and grab a drink. Want anything?"

"Yeah, man, you got any Dr. Pepper?"

I nod and head for the kitchen without even looking at him. I can't. Not since that night a month ago – the night I figured out exactly how I felt about him.

_Not now_.

Swallowing hard, I force away the memory of how I lay there that night, hard and wanting and scared out of my mind.

And he has no idea. He can't.

**Request**

Jasper walks into the kitchen while I'm scouring the fridge for the last can of Dr. Pepper. My only warning is his casual, "Hey, Ed, got anything to eat? I'm starving."

Jerking my head upward, I hit the frame. "Ow, damn it!"

Jasper's quickly by my side, hand on my shoulder and his face full of concern as I stand up, rubbing what's sure to turn into a nice bump.

"You okay?"

"Yeah... sorry... food. Umm, Hot Pockets?" I hedge, trying to ignore the heat – both that spreading across my face and radiating from his hand still on my shoulder.

**Escape**

The few minutes it takes to heat up our snack seem awkwardly long. Jasper apparently doesn't notice, rambling about the game until I want to scream.

This is the worst part – just feeling _wrong_. I miss him, and he's only a few feet away, but he might as well be on the other side of the world. He used to know everything about me, and I guess he thinks he still does.

When the microwave finally beeps, I yank it open and dump the food onto plates. "Let's go outside," I manage.

Stepping onto the porch, I can breathe again.

**Silence**

After a few attempts to engage me in conversation, Jasper gives up, so we eat in silence.

Somehow, it just makes me feel _more_ anxious because he keeps shooting me worried glances. I know him well enough to know he's wondering what he did wrong ,and it kills me. Because it's not him.

This is all on me.

And I hate it.

I hate myself. It should be so simple. Jasper's my best friend. I know he's tight with his cousin Garrett, even hangs out with him and his boyfriend all the time.

So why can't I just tell him?

**Change**

I know the answer to that question, though. If I were _just_ gay, I'm pretty sure I could tell him. Maybe.

But telling him I want _him_ is another thing entirely.

Suddenly not hungry, I lean back against the railing, leaving the rest of my food untouched.

"Think I've had enough games for one day," Jasper says, and I glance at him automatically.

"'kay," I answer, unsure what else to say. I feel a strange sense of disappointment that he's leaving, even though I know it'll be easier for me.

"Let's go to the park?"

"Really?" I ask in surprise.

**Alone**

The park behind our house is nearly empty in spite of it being summer. It's early enough that most parents are still at work, which luckily leaves the kids at home.

Jasper starts goofing around on the slides, not caring how he looks or what anyone might think. He's just having fun.

One of the many things I love about him.

It doesn't take him long to convince me to join in, and I'm able to let go for a while.

A little bit.

At least I can look at him without worrying, as long as I stay behind him.

**Monkey**

Jasper leaps onto the monkey bars, and my eyes are drawn to the way his muscles bunch beneath his shirt as he swings between the bars. I try to look away, but I just can't.

And then he catches me.

He looks over his shoulder, and his voice is strained from dangling there when he says, "You coming or what, man?"

Trying to shake the haze from my brain, I follow behind him. I hope he takes the burn on my cheeks for exertion, but I feel mortified.

Gradually, my embarrassment fades into the familiar comfort I want with him.

**Unbalanced**

We're hanging upside-down, side-by-side as we swing gently back and forth. In an odd way, it makes me feel more centered, and for once, I'm starting to feel I'm me again – and that Jasper's... Jasper – my best friend.

Like everything is how it used to be.

For just. One. Minute.

Then he bumps my shoulder with his and says, "Talk to me, Ed."

Just like that, my entire being feels off-kilter again, and I struggle to regain some form of balance even as I try to find words.

Jasper looks at me, patiently waiting for me to spill my guts.

**Rapid**

My heart pounds in my chest as I look away. "Nothing."

"Bull shit."

His voice is softer than I expect, and I glance at him. It's hard to read his expression upside-down as he is, but he looks… hurt, somehow.

"Don't try that with me," he says gruffly. "You've been… weird lately."

At that, my eyes drift away from him again. I can't seem to meet his gaze, so I stare at the mixed-up world around me and feel the blood rush to my head.

"What did I do?"

There's no mistaking the pain in his voice.

"Nothing," I repeat.

**Struggle**

All is quiet for a while. Outside my head, at least.

My mind, however, is so tumultuous I'm barely able to make sense of my own thoughts. The fact that I hurt him – and I _know_ I have – is eating me up inside. I just don't know what to do.

Or rather, I know what I should do: tell him. But I can't.

Can I?

I'm staring at the bushes when Jasper clears his throat. "So I talked to Garrett the other day..."

Frowning, I turn to look at him in confusion.

"Actually, been talking to him a lot, lately."

**Piece**

Jasper rambles as we climb around the bars, talking about his cousin's boyfriend Pete and Garrett's art school, and nothing is making any sense at all. I don't understand why he's changing subjects since he was so curious about what was bugging me until I hear it again and again.

_His boyfriend._

I suck in a breath and immediately start arguing with myself.

_He couldn't _possibly_ mean… that. Could he?_

"Are you listening?"

We're upside-down again when his voice breaks through my thoughts.

"Huh? Oh, yeah."

"Yeah, you sound like it," he mutters and sighs. "God, I'm fucking this up…"

**Confusion**

I frown, searching his face but for once, Jasper's the one refusing to meet _my_ eyes.

"Jazz, what the hell do you mean, you're fucking this up? Fucking _what_ up?"

His jaw works furiously, but all that comes out is, "I mean..." before he huffs in frustration.

_He's... _blushing_?_

I blink. Just as I open my mouth to speak, Jasper suddenly moves toward me, his lips capturing mine in a frenzied, heated, blissful moment that's over all too quickly. The only response I manage is to ball my hands into fists so I don't grab him and pull him closer.

**Scurry**

Jasper's eyes widen before he licks his lips nervously. "I…"

Not even finishing his thought, he flips down to the ground and stalks away without ever looking back.

"Shit."

My own fall to the ground is much less graceful, and I feel the sting of a twisted ankle.

"Jasper, wait!"

If anything, he speeds up. I can't stand the thought of him leaving – especially not like this – so I limp after him.

"Jasper, please. Wait?"

At the sound of pleading in my tone, he stops but doesn't turn around. I watch his hands ball into fists as he looks down.

**Apology**

The moment I reach him I take a deep breath.

"Ed, I'm sorry-"

"Jazz, I'm sorry-"

For a second, we both freeze, and then Jasper spins on his heel to face me, his eyes wide and so many emotions filling them they make me dizzy.

"Wait, what? _You're_ sorry? _I'm _the one that fucked everything up," he sputters.

I stare at him, staying quiet a second too long as he continues, "Fuck, I knew I shouldn't've... Ed, please, just forget it, 'kay? I don't want to lose my best friend-"

He rambles on, running his fingers nervously through his hair.

**Break**

His voice becomes pained as he tries to explain, and his words seem to speed as my smile grows.

Finally, he closes his blue eyes and says, "Just don't hate me. Okay? I should've told you and not just k-"

His babble cuts off in a strangled moan when my lips cover his, pressing hard before I pull away. He doesn't let me go far. Without opening his eyes, he grabs my neck and yanks me back. His kiss excites me in ways I've never known with any girl, heating my skin and chasing all thought out of my head.

**Surrender**

We're pressed close together, hands grasping anywhere we can reach in an effort to get even closer as we continue to learn each other's taste.

My heart's pounding in my chest – with excitement rather than trepidation, for once.

I've forgotten where we are, completely absorbed by Jasper and wishing that this could last forever.

It doesn't, of course.

A laughing shriek reaches our ears, and we pull apart, wearing matching grins and blushes. Without a word, I take his hand in mine and lead him back to my house – to my room.

To talk.

And maybe kiss a little more.


	23. Lazy Morning

**A/N: **Happy Birthday, _**Criosa**_! We hope you have a wonderful day.

As ever, we do not own Twilight - it owns us.

**ooOoo**

**Alarm**

_Beep! Beep! Be-_

I groan, fumbling blindly on my nightstand for the alarm.

_You've _got_ to be _kidding_ me__!_

Finally, I find Ed's phone, turning the alarm off and flopping onto my pillow. Edward rolls half on top of me, wrapping his arm around me as he rests his head on my back, mumbling, "Sorry, baby... f'rgot..."

With a sigh, I check the other alarms are off before placing the phone back in the dock. There are some days I curse the fact that he never hears the damn thing himself, leaving me the task of getting up on time.

**Lazy**

My eyes drift closed as I settle in to sleep some more. The last couple of weeks have been hell with work, and this is our first chance to relax together in way too long.

I'm just dozing off when I feel Edward shift to pull himself closer to me, and I smile, enjoying his warmth. His lips gently caress my shoulders as I feel his fingertips trail up my arm.

His tell-tale sign.

I can't help but chuckle, and he smiles against my back. "I know it's early," he whispers. "We can always sleep later… make love to me?"

**Soft**

"Mmm… I think I can handle that," I mumble, grinning as I feel the brush of his lips against my back.

Edward pushes off of me just enough to allow me to roll over. My arms wrap around his neck at the same moment his body covers mine and our lips meet. His fingers comb through my hair and trail along my cheek and neck, only to make the circuit again.

"Love you," he whispers between slow, deep kisses.

My fingers run along his spine, making him curve into the sensation and almost purr.

"Love you, too, doll," I murmur.

**Slow**

As one, we roll on the bed so that I hover over Edward. A soft smile graces his lips as his hands drift down my back. When they venture lower, he opens his eyes.

"Can never get enough of you," he whispers, his voice gruff from sleep.

I lower my head, answering with kisses scattered all over his chest rather than words. When I rock my hips lightly against his, he groans and pulls me closer, his legs falling open.

"Please," he breathes, squeezing my ass and rolling his hips into mine.

"What do you want, baby? Just tell me…"

**Plea**

"Need to feel you, baby... please?"

His hands run up my back until he grabs my face and looks me dead in the eye with heat and love and want. "Fill me, Jasper, love me the way only you can."

I smile, dipping my head to kiss him tenderly. "I do love you, sugar. So much."

"Show me," he breathes before kissing me into silence again.

For a moment, I forget his request, so lost am I in him. Edward is everything to me.

He bucks his hips – a silent reminder and plea rolled into one.

Gently, I prepare him.

**Connect**

He moans lowly when I enter him, and I bite my bottom lip, my eyes fluttering closed at the unparalleled sensation of him tightening around me. "God, you feel so…"

I shake my head, unable to find the words, and he pulls my lips back to his. I put everything into our kiss – my hope and desire, my love and passion. He answers silently, his blunt nails scratching down my back as his legs wrap around my hips.

My world dissolves into heat and pressure, feather-light touches and searing kisses, all enhancing the choreography of our needy bodies dancing together.

**Fulfill**

I do my best to make this good for him – and to make it last – but all too quickly we both reach our release.

Edward's head presses into the pillow, his neck taut, his eyes closed, his mouth open in a silent cry.

_Beautiful__._

I follow soon after, my mouth firmly attached to his neck as I claim him. Edward's breathless "Oh, _fuck,_ Jazz!" and his nails digging deeper into my back make me shudder in delight.

As soon as he feels I'm spent – and I've kissed his tender neck – he pulls my face to his for a languid kiss.

**Tender**

With whispered words and soft kisses, we shift together. Edward groans when I slip away from him, and he rolls with me, holding me close as we lie on our sides. His head nestles against my chest while his fingers idly trace patterns on my back.

I can't muster the energy to do anything else, too content to bask in his warmth and affection. He seems to feel the same, pressing his lips to my overheated skin before giving the sweet sigh that means he's not far from sleep.

A smile on my lips, I drift off to join him.


	24. Shooting the Breeze

**A/N: **Happy Birthday, _**SarahAH30**_! We hope you have a fantastic day.

As ever, we do not own Twilight - it owns us.

**ooOoo**

**Smile**

"Banzai!"

I laugh as I watch Emmett take a running leap off the dock and into the middle of the lake. Water sprays everywhere, even reaching me on the shore – quite impressive, really.

But then, that's my Emmett for you. He does nothing, unless he can do it well.

Smiling, my eyes follow him as he resurfaces and swims a couple of laps before pausing to wave at me. "C'mon, babe! Water's great; come join me!" he calls out.

"I will in a little bit, I promise. Just let me finish this, okay?" I answer, holding up my half-finished sketch.

**Draw**

I listen to him splashing and laughing as I work on my shading. Just a touch at the base of his spine gives me the depth I was looking for, and I hold the sketchpad in front of me, scrutinizing my work.

With a chuckle, I add a title and date.

_Emmett's cannonball, __7-28-11_

My man is the only thirty-four-year-old I know that finds pure joy in playing in the water – and in most of life. I suddenly crave his infectious enthusiasm.

Carefully stowing the drawing in my bag, I pad down the dock and wait for him to surface.

**Prone**

When his head breaks the surface of the water, I wave, calling, "Emmett!"

He grins widely and makes for the dock. The mischief in his eyes tells me I'd better be prepared for anything, so I lie down. I just know that if I'm standing or kneeling, I'll end up getting pulled into the water.

His pout as he pulls himself up for a kiss tells me I was correct in thinking he'd planned to do something.

Emmett's pout doesn't last long, however. It never does, with him. He's too happy of a guy to let anything keep him down.

**Excitement**

I jump as his wet hand, cold from his swim, cups my cheek. He just laughs, his brown eyes sparkling. "Come here," he murmurs.

Smiling, I let my eyes drift closed as I lean in to kiss him. His hand slides up until his fingers tangle in my hair.

When we part, his eyes are mischievous again. "Don't make me throw your ass in here," he teases.

"Okay, okay… I'm coming!"

He nearly giggles as I stand up and take a few steps back. I hear him – predictably – mutter, "You will be," just before I launch myself into the air.

**Play**

I barely get the chance to come up for air before Emmett pounces, dunking me under water again and then swimming away just as quickly. For a guy his size, he's pretty damn quick, too, but I'm faster.

We horse around in the water for a while, Emmett eventually retrieving our ball so we can practice shooting and just have fun.

It feels good to unwind for a while, and when it's time for dinner, I'm pleasantly exhausted. We cook a simple meal over the fire.

Emmett leans in, murmuring, "Thanks for this, Jazz. Love you."

"Love you, too, Em."


	25. A Day of Note

**A/N: **Happy Birthday, _**Bananapancakes7**_! We hope you have an awesome day.

As ever, we do not own Twilight - it owns us.

**ooOoo**

**Start**

Unlocking my car door, I frown at a folded piece of paper in my seat. I toss my backpack into the back and grab the paper, unfolding it to find an unfamiliar handwriting. All my questions are answered as I read the message, growing both angry at myself and grateful for this mysterious stranger who turned off my lights and locked my door – both of which I'd apparently failed to do.

I can't help but smile as I read the final line.

_Hope it brightens your day to know that the whole world isn't full of dishonest people._

_Cheers,_

_Jasper_

**Distraction**

_Jasper?_

As I drive to class, I keep trying to think of who he is. It isn't until I'm parking my car that it hits me. _The new guy in 3C! _

I remember Alice and Bella fawning over him a few days ago.I bite my lip as I recall the one glimpse I'd seen of him myself, and I have to admit I can't fault them for it.

Over the course of the next few hours, my mind keeps coming back to Jasper, and by the time my last class ends, I'm determined to do something to thank him.

**Gift**

When I arrive back at my apartment building with a gift card to my favorite restaurant in my pocket, I'm suddenly nervous that maybe it wasn't such a good idea. It was the only thing I could think of, though, and I really hope Jasper will appreciate it.

Licking my lips, I climb the steps to the third floor and take a deep breath before I knock on his door.

It opens before I'm ready, and I'm faced with wavy blond hair framing a face even more gorgeous than I remember.

"Oh," I say stupidly.

"Well, hey there," he answers.

**Explanation**

Blushing, I run my fingers through my hair as I stammer, "Umm, hi, sorry... I just... Thank you."

Jasper blinks in confusion, tilting his head questioningly. "For what?"

Fishing the card out of my back pocket, I hold it out to him, inwardly cringing at the _Happy Birthday!_ stamped across it. "For locking my car and turning the lights off."

"That was yours?"

I nod, shoving my hands in my pockets.

Jasper's eyes give me a once over as his grin widens. "I didn't know that. You're welcome. You didn't need to..." He taps the card.

I shrug. "Wanted to."

**Writing**

At that, he glances down at the card in his hand. He chuckles, and I feel my cheeks heating again.

"Yeah, sorry. They didn't have any that said, 'Thank you for not robbing me blind when you turned off my lights and locked my car.'"

When he laughs outright, he meets my gaze, and I feel my eyes widen in response.

_God damn, he's beautiful._

"It's to my favorite restaurant," I blurt, and wince internally. "Hopefully you'll like it."

"I'm sure I will," he murmurs, his eyes alight with mischief. "Of course, you'll have to show me where it is."

**Clarify**

Automatically I half-turn as if to point in the right direction. "Oh, it's over on Main, right by-"

"No," he touches my arm and continues, "I didn't say 'tell me', I said you'd have to _show_ me. You free tonight?"

Blushing lightly, I dumbly say, "Oh..." and want to smack myself. "Oh, yes. Sure, Jasper, I mean, if you want..."

Jasper's grin is still in place, but he narrows his eyes a little in speculation, tilting his head again. "You have me at a disadvantage, I think. You know _my_ name..."

My cheeks flame. "Shit, sorry. Edward. My name's Edward."

**Pleased**

"Edward," Jasper says, giving a small nod. "I like it."

I can't stop my smile any more than I can tear my eyes from his.

"Alright, Edward… so it's a date? I'd say I'd pick you up at seven, but I don't know where you live."

In a slight haze of disbelief, I give him my apartment number. It gradually becomes clear that no matter how much Alice and Bella might wish otherwise, I'm much more Jasper's type. As my nerves begin to fade, our conversation becomes easier, and we talk for long minutes with Jasper leaning against the doorframe.

**Anticipation**

We stand there talking until Jasper's phone rings. He glances over his shoulder, looking like he doesn't want to say goodbye – even though we'll be seeing each other in a few hours.

Turning back to me, he smiles. "Guess I'd better get that."

Rubbing the back of my neck, I nod.

"See you later?" he asks.

I nod again.

He leans in, pecks my cheek, and whispers, "Good. I'm looking forward to it."

I stand there feeling dazed as he disappears inside before I turn and head back to my apartment to get ready with a smile on my lips.


	26. Memory Lane

_**A/N:**__ Dearest __**kimberlycullen10**__,_

_Happy birthday! We love you more than you know, and we wanted to celebrate your birthday with something special. With all the moving and such, this is a little later in the day than we wanted it to be, but we hope you will enjoy it. You are a fantastic friend and beta – thank you so much for all you do. You rock._

_We love you sfm,_

_SC and nae_

_We hope you all enjoy these boys. They are based on several pictures, all of which can be found on the version of this story that's on our blog. Check it out at whitlock(dash)masen(at)blogspot(dot)com if you'd like to see what inspired us._

_**Pairing: **__Edward and Jasper_

_**Rating:**__ M_

**ooOoo**

Leaning against the fallen log, I stretch my legs out in front of me and watch Edward. He mutters under his breath, but his smile tells me he's not nearly as annoyed as he's pretending to be.

We both know camping is much more my speed than his. When he settles beside me, I take his hand and say, "Thanks."

"You're welcome." He kisses me softly and then winks. "You're lucky I love you so much."

"I am," I agree. "Goes both ways, though."

He beams a smile at me, and I turn to reach into the cooler behind us. Grabbing two ice-cold bottles of beer, I open them and hand him one.

"_Don de Dieu_? How did you sneak this in there?" he asks in surprise.

"I have my ways," I tease.

He narrows his eyes at me and mutters something about me being full of surprises. We spend a few minutes just sitting there, relaxing and enjoying our time away. Life has been incredibly hectic lately, and we both need this.

Edward puts his arm around my shoulders and pulls me closer. I rest my head against his and sigh.

"Rose said she'd feed the dog," he says out of nowhere, and I chuckle, nuzzling my head against his.

"I know, baby. Everything's taken care of… relax."

He nods, but I can feel how his shoulders are still tense, and I know he's going over his mental checklist. I settle in to wait and am surprised when he starts laughing.

"Oh! I forgot to tell you…" he begins. I sit up and turn to face him, my eyes growing wider as he says, "Rose said Bella kissed that kid Jake yesterday."

"Bella? She's only six!"

Edward laughs and shrugs his shoulders. "So what?"

"So she's a baby!"

He smirks, raising one eyebrow. "I had my first kiss when I was five."

"You did not!"

His amusement grows as he watches my expression, making me realize how ridiculous I'm being. Still, the thought of my little niece _kissing_someone has me so rattled that it takes a moment for what he said to sink in.

"Wait… you did? Really?"

He nods. "Yup."

I frown at him. "How the hell do I not know this?"

"I don't know…" he laughs.

I grumble and take a pull of my beer before leaning back against the log. "Well, you know you can't leave it at that... spill."

He leans over, kissing me lightly on the lips. "You're adorable when you're jealous. Especially of a five-year-old."

"I'm not jealous," I protest, laughing at the thought. "I'm just... surprised. I thought I knew everything about you."

"I'm sure there are plenty of things we still don't know about each other."

I'm skeptical, considering we've been together over a decade, but obviously there's at least one thing I don't know. "Who was this guy?"

"A kid who lived down the block. His name was Ben…" Edward relaxes against the log, resting his elbows on the rough bark. "I remember the first time I saw him, I thought he was cute. I don't even really know if I knew what that meant, exactly. I just knew I liked him. A lot."

I think back to the pictures I've seen of Edward as a little boy, all short red hair and freckles, and I can't help smiling.

"We hung out _all_ the time. He was at my house or I was at his every day after school. One day we were walking home, and he asked me if I liked him better than Mike. I told him I liked him better than anyone, and then I kissed him."

"Oh my god…did you really?" I laugh.

He smiles as he looks down at his bottle and nods, shrugging. "Yup. He was a damn good kisser for a five-year-old, too."

I smack his leg, and he looks up at me through his lashes, his smile still in place. "What happened then?"

Edward sighs and wrinkles his nose before running his fingers through his hair. "His mom was waiting for us, so she saw the whole thing. She sat us down, had this talk about how boys shouldn't kiss other boys. It was the first time I learned that was 'wrong.'"

I frown and take his hand. "I'm sorry, baby."

"It's alright. It was a long time ago," he says easily, his momentary melancholy fading. "Didn't stop us anyway."

He chuckles, telling me about the times Ben held his hand or kissed him when no one could see. "It was just friendship to us, you know? Affection." He shrugs, and his smile grows mischievous. "Well, mostly. He _was_ cute…"

After Edward's done, we sit in silence for a few minutes, both of us with fond smiles on our faces.

Adding logs to the fire, I sit back and watch the flames lick at the new fuel. With a grin, I turn to Edward. "I remember _my _first kiss – well, the only one I count, anyway. Kissing Maggie... just... no."

Edward laughs, bumping against my shoulder as he shakes his head. "Okay, so tell me about this first real kiss of yours."

Stretching my legs out in front of me, I lean back and look up at the night sky as I think back to my senior year in high school. Edward knows a lot of my past, but I decide to pretend he doesn't and just tell the story as if it's a new one.

"Let's see... I knew I was into boys for a few years at that point, but I'd always been too scared to do anything about it. Didn't dare mess around or anything because I was afraid my friends would find out. Most of them weren't too gay-friendly back then."

Edward nods as he leans back as well, his hand right alongside mine. My eyes flicker to his as his thumb brushes it gently, and I smile as I dip my head and steal a quick kiss before continuing.

"Anyway, everything kinda changed when Peter moved into town. We became thick as thieves, except I ended up falling in love with him. I tried so hard to keep it from him. For months."

I shrug.

"He was able to read me like a book, though, and he called me out on it. I was terrified. Here we were, in front of his apartment building, when he asks me point-blank if I'm into him. I remember stuttering like crazy, trying to deny it at first, but I was blushing so bad that it was no use. So Peter grabs my face and slowly leans in to kiss me, his eyes focused on mine the entire time. I couldn't have moved if I'd wanted to. Not that I did – was the best kiss I ever had. Well... up 'til then, anyway."

Edward's hand moves to grasp mine. Squeezing it lightly, he nods.

Looking at Edward, I sigh – not because I'm sad or unhappy or anything. Quite the contrary. Hearing his experiences and telling him mine this way makes me feel more connected to him than I thought possible. My heart seems to want to burst with happiness and contentment right now.

Edward is the first to move, draining the rest of his beer before he stands up and goes to rummage in the backpack full of food. I smile when he emerges with graham crackers and marshmallows. "Where's the chocolate?"

"Should be in there somewhere," I answer, shifting to my knees as I search through the bag and finally pull it out of one of the side pockets.

"Awesome!" Edward's enthusiasm makes me smile, and we spend a few minutes roasting marshmallows and building our s'mores. We make a complete mess of ourselves, of course. I laugh as I brush melted chocolate from Edward's chin, and then I moan when he takes my thumb between his lips, sucking lightly.

"Later," he whispers, winking. When I pout, he leans in to kiss me. "Just really enjoying talking to you… that okay?"

"Of course it is, baby." Despite my agreement, I kiss him deeply, moving to straddle his lap. Somehow, sharing our pasts has really helped me appreciate our present – the way I know him and love him, the confidence and comfort we share, the passion I've felt since the moment I saw him. He seems to feel the same as his hands go to my hips, his fingers grasping tightly as he kisses me with abandon.

When we part, he licks his lips with a soft hum. "Chocolate and marshmallow suits you…"

I laugh and shift back to the ground beside him.

He grins playfully and says, "So Peter was your first love?"

I consider his question carefully, knowing that what I felt for Peter really can't compare to anything I felt with men since him. "Yeah, he was. We were kids, really, so it wasn't the same thing, but I'd never felt anything like that before…"

Edward gives a thoughtful nod and stares into the fire, prompting me to ask, "Who was yours?"

He blinks as if drawn out of deep thought, and his eyes flicker to me. "Seth."

I was half-expecting the answer, but it still makes me smile. "I figured."

He shrugs and smiles ruefully as he talks about his life-long best friend. "It was just so easy to love him. He _got_ me… he always has. Coming out to him was so hard, though. Did I ever tell you about it?"

"Just that it was at that pond and you were scared out of your mind," I answer, my voice softening. I never pressed too hard to find out what happened because it was clearly something intensely personal to Edward.

He glances up, staring at the stars for so long that I wonder if that's still all he's going to say. Just as I start to reach for the bag of marshmallows as a way to distract him, he begins to speak. I sit back and listen quietly, giving him the space he needs.

"We were seniors. I'd been obsessing over him for months. Literally. I couldn't stand to be in the same room alone with him anymore, so I found so many excuses – work and homework and dates with girls I had no interest in at all. It was just painful."

I shift on the ground, and he glances over and reaches for my hand, offering me a small smile. I squeeze his hand and smile in return.

"So then he showed up at my house one Saturday and told me we were going camping. Said he knew I didn't have to work and I didn't have a date, but I did have a choice – I could be his best friend and go with him, or I could tell him to fuck off and he'd take the hint I'd been giving him the whole year."

"Ouch." The word slips out before I'm aware of it, but Edward just nods.

"Yeah, that was pretty much how I felt. Obviously didn't really set a great tone for the whole thing. I worried the whole way out there because I didn't know what the hell to tell him." Edward continues, telling me how awkward the ride to the pond was, how afraid he was that he was going to lose Seth forever.

I feel myself growing anxious as I listen, and I can't imagine dealing with all of that _now_, much less at eighteen. I reach across and rub the back of his neck, silently offering my support.

"After we had everything set up, he looked at me and asked what he'd done. He looked so goddamn heartbroken, and I just couldn't do it anymore. So…"

"You told him?" I whisper when he doesn't continue.

He chuckles darkly and shakes his head before admitting, "I ran. He chased me and caught my arm and told me to at least be man enough to tell him I hated him to his face. I screamed back, 'I don't hate you, okay? I'm fucking in love with you!'"

Despite the pain I know he had to be in, I can't help but laugh. It sounds so much like my Edward. I cup his cheek and pull him closer, pressing my lips to his softly. "I love you," I murmur.

"I love you, too, babe." He smiles gently and looks down at the ground between his knees before pulling up a blade of grass. He tears it into tiny pieces as he finishes his story. "He looked like I slapped him. I remember closing my eyes, wishing that the ground would swallow me already or – I don't know – a nuclear bomb would hit just me or something. And then I felt him kissing me, and it was just… god, Jazz, it was fucking amazing."

I laugh, nodding in understanding. "I'm glad. I know you had to be relieved."

"You have no idea… it was pretty much more than I could've ever hoped for."

"Mhmm… I see. Better watch it, or I _will_ get jealous this time."

"Oh, please." He snorts and rolls his eyes, patting my knee before he stands and stretches.

Edward hands me a beer from the cooler as he takes his seat again. His legs are pulled up, and his elbows are resting on his knees as he holds his own beer between both hands. He's staring into the fire, and I know his thoughts are on Seth.

It's a story I know well, though. They were together from that moment on, making it partway through college before distance finally got the best of them. They parted as friends and are to this day, something it took me awhile to come to terms with.

Sipping my beer thoughtfully, I think about my own college days and almost end up snorting my drink as a very different sort of memory comes to mind. Edward cocks a brow in question. "You alright?"

Coughing, I nod, my grin unmistakable in spite of my discomfort. "Yeah... fine. Just thought of Eric, is all."

Both brows lift this time, in amused surprise. Eric and I have remained good friends over the years, just like Seth and Edward, so he's well aware of the quirkiness that is Eric and must realize that whatever popped in my head has to be good.

Taking another sip of my beer, I clear my throat, grin firmly in place. "You remember me telling you how crazy Eric is about comics, right? _Batman_, in particular?"

Edward nods, an easy grin forming on his own lips as he listens.

"Well, we'd been together for, what... four, five months or something, and Halloween rolls around. He somehow manages to convince me that it'd be a great idea to dress up as his favorite hero-team. I'm still not quite sure how he managed it, but I'm pretty sure there were a few blowjobs involved at the time."

Edward throws his head back and laughs. "Oh, I believe it!"

I blush, nudging his leg with mine as I mutter playfully, "Shut it."

He just chuckles and takes another drink, so I continue. "Anyway. He insisted I dress up as Batman, and he as Robin. He said I looked dead-sexy, but I'm not sure I believed him then. I felt like a complete idiot running around in a mask and a cape, but hey... it made him happy, right?"

Edward eyes me appreciatively before he nods. "Go on."

The grin on his face tells me he has a good idea of what's coming, so I roll my eyes at him.

"We get to the party we were invited to, right? He _insisted_we stay until the end, but damn if the boy made it easy for me. He couldn't keep his hands off me! He kept backing me into corners and accidentally brushing against me, and it wasn't like I could hide shit in those skin-tight, paper-thin pants. Mind... Eric in those tights..." I trail off, tilting my head slightly to the side as I half-close my eyes at the very pleasant memory.

Edward teasingly snaps his fingers in front of my face, murmuring, "Hey, loverboy, where'd you go off to?"

I blush and clear my throat. "Sorry. Oh, yeah, so... at the party? They had this photographer who'd take portraits of anyone who wanted them, and Eric dragged me to get ours done. He kissed me in the first one, and then after that, he couldn't resist being a little... naughty. He's still got picture-proof of that night."

Glancing at Edward, I groan as I notice his grin.

"Does he now? I'll have to ask him about that next time we see him." Edward winks.

I sigh, already resigned because I know there's no chance in hell Eric will decline a chance to show off those pictures. From the moment I introduced him to Edward, they hit it off, often to my detriment.

"It's cool that you and Eric had so much fun together," Edward muses. "I don't know if I ever really had that sort of thing."

"What do you mean?"

"Well… I dunno. I guess I'm just too serious or something."

I try to hide my smile at that by biting the inside of my cheek, but he rolls his eyes anyway.

"Yeah, yeah, I know. Always been my downfall."

"Nah." I shake my head and lean against him, resting my hand on his thigh. "You know how to have fun… there's just got to be something deeper there for you. I love that about you. You're intense."

I can see his blush in the firelight, and I interrupt whatever he'd been about to say to kiss him. It begins slow and sweet, building in heat and intensity before he suddenly breaks away, leaving me breathless.

"Like that?" he teases.

"Just like that," I manage.

Silence falls over us for a few minutes as I work to focus on our conversation again. Edward's right – talking to him this way is fascinating, and I find I'm enjoying every minute and wondering what else I don't know about him.

"I guess maybe Garrett was the closest," he says at last, and I look at him quickly.

"Really?" My surprise is clear in my voice, but I can't help it. I've always thought of Garrett as his great love – not really the one that that got away, necessarily, but certainly the one who had the biggest piece of his heart other than me.

"Yeah, really." He glances down at his hands in his lap and then back up to me. "Well, you know how we started. Roommates and all that…"

I nod. I know all too well the story of how Edward walked into his house just before his junior year in college, surprised to find that his stinky, lazy housemate of the year before had been replaced by a gorgeous Greek god who also happened to be the cousin of one of Edward's roommates.

It doesn't help that Garrett really _is_ gorgeous – and fun and intelligent and kind.

Pushing away the stab of irrational jealousy, I remember that Edward is here, in my arms, and that it was by _his_ choice. It helps, and I lace my fingers through his as he explains.

"I guess I never told you that we sorta started out as friends with benefits."

"What?" My eyes fly wide, and I find myself both intrigued and baffled as I try to put together what I'm hearing with the image of the devoted couple I've always had.

"Yeah," he answers, his eyes flickering away before he looks back at me. The red tint of his cheeks makes him look vulnerable and sexy, so I kiss him softly before sitting back.

"You have to explain. Sorry… just can't let that one go."

He laughs lowly and nods. "Yeah, I know. So umm…well, right away, I was into him. Very much so. And he was out and confident and just… just so… I don't know. I wanted him. Badly."

"Yeah, I got that part," I say wryly.

"Anyway, he was always so cool, and he was interested in… well, everything. One night he came in when I was studying for Neurobiology. I was on the floor, and he just sat down on my bed and started asking me questions – what I was studying, what it meant, all that kind of stuff. And then he just said, 'God damn, Edward. You're fucking sexy – you know that?'"

"Jesus… what did you say?"

He rolls his eyes. "You know me. I blushed and stammered, and I don't know what finally came out, but he asked if I thought he was sexy, too, and I nodded. Then he kissed me, and it was all downhill from there."

"I can imagine… so you two just started fucking around?"

"Yeah, pretty much. We didn't _actually_ fuck for a while after that – not until we were together – but damn if we didn't do everything else…"

"I'm seriously just blown away," I admit with a laugh. "I always thought you two were so serious."

"We were," he says simply. "It just took us a little while and some screwing around to get there."

I nod thoughtfully, trying to work this new information into the image I've carried about Edward and Garrett for so long. As I think about it, though, I can see it a little too well. Edward is so confident and enthusiastic when we make love. As much as I don't like it, it makes sense that he would've been with Garrett, too.

When I don't answer again, Edward grabs the two pointed sticks we've been using and skewers a marshmallow on the end of each. He hands me one and kisses my neck just below my ear, making me smile at his silent affirmation that he's mine and mine alone.

As we make one last s'more each, I think back to my last boyfriend, Liam. My memories of him are bittersweet, and it must read on my face because Edward wraps his arm around my shoulder as he takes his treat out of my hand.

"Hey," he murmurs quietly, "you okay, sweetheart?"

I try to smile and kiss his lips briefly. "Yeah, just thinking about Liam, is all."

We've talked about him a lot already, but in spite of that, Edward still asks, "Tell me about him? About your first kiss with him?"

I nod, eating my s'more quietly as I ponder that memory. After we're both done eating, I lay my head on Edward's shoulder, and his arm slips around my waist, instead.

"Let's see... You know Liam and I met at a party in college. We danced a lot, and there was just something there, you know? And Liam was... well... he was definitely a charmer, and he was used to getting his way, if you know what I mean."

Edward chuckles and squeezes me lightly to his side. "Yeah, you've told me. Go on."

"He spent most of the night trying to convince me to come home with him. I think the fact that I was obviously into him but still refused him was what kept him coming back. Don't think he'd ever had a conquest turn him down before."

Edward nods. He's heard enough of Liam to be well aware of everything.

"I didn't give in because I just wasn't into one-nighters. He somehow got my phone number and called a day or two after the party to ask me out to dinner and a movie. He figured that that was more my scene, and he wanted me enough to play on my terms. His words, not mine."

Edward kisses my forehead lightly, and I smile.

"Anyway, so we go on our date, and he went all out. I mean, suit and tie, fancy restaurant... he'd even brought me flowers."

I smile at the memory.

"Everything was perfect, and he showed me a side of him no one had ever bothered finding out about. By the end of the night, I knew he'd be more than just a one-night stand, so I asked him inside for a drink. We spent hours that night talking before finally giving in to what we both wanted to do. I don't think I'd ever been undressed quite as quickly and efficiently as I was that night. Liam was quite... eager, and I loved every second of it. Let's just say that it was definitely a night to remember. Liam turned out to be a very attentive lover."

I blush, ducking my head a little. It feels strange, telling him all this, but Edward doesn't seem to mind. His voice is tender as he quietly asks, "If he was still alive, do you think you'd have gotten back together?"

Thinking about that a moment, I try to imagine how different my life might have been if he hadn't passed away when he did. I know Edward's asking not from a place of worry about my feelings for him – after all these years, the way I feel for Edward is a foregone conclusion – but out of genuine concern for me.

Sitting up, I look at Edward and cup his face in my hand. "No, I don't think so. We'd both grown apart by that time. I miss him, yes, but just as the friend he ended up becoming after we broke up. Nothing more."

Pressing my lips gently against Edward's I smile and murmur, "Besides. I've got you now. I don't need anyone else, baby. I love you."

Edward's smile is soft and warm as he kisses me back with a quiet, "Love you, too, Jazz."

After sitting for a few minutes in companionable silence, I feel Edward's cheek lift as he smiles against my temple. "I know you remember when we met… but do you want to hear one of my favorite firsts with you? It's silly," he warns.

I sit up and turn to face him, my eyes widening. "Of course."

"Okay, you remember that little apartment we rented over on Fifth?" At my nod, he reaches out, tracing my lower lip with his thumb. "After we'd gotten all moved in and settled and all that, we had to go back to work. The first morning you got up before me, I went back to sleep, but then I heard something for the first time ever." His grin spreads, broad and mischievous. "You were singing in the shower, belting out something. I remember lying there, listening to you, but I couldn't figure out what it was. So I went over to the door…"

I raise a curious eyebrow, trying to figure out where in the world he's going with this. "And?"

"And you were singing…" His voice trails off before he begins singing softly, "Walls of thought, strong and high… as my castle crumbles with time. I think of you – oh yes, I do."

I laugh, shaking my head. "Your damn fault. You played that CD all the time."

"I know." He smiles. "And you hated it, but you didn't complain. I don't know why – I told you it's silly – but something changed for me that morning. It showed me something about you, the way you're willing to love _me_, not what you wish I was."

"I don't want you to be anything but you, baby," I murmur honestly. Time and experience, some of it brutal, had taught me that. Smiling, I kiss him tenderly and then pull back to tease, "I thought you got up that morning to cook me breakfast."

"Well, I did… after I heard you singing."

"You knew I needed some energy so I wouldn't have to quit my day job."

He laughs and shrugs. "Maybe that's part of it. But I've never felt as loved and accepted as with you, and that's how I knew you were the one for me."

"Mmm…" I hum as I shift into his lap. His arms wrap loosely around me as he tilts his head for a kiss. "Maybe I need to rethink my stance on the whole Grunge era…"

"Been telling you that for years," he teases before his lips capture mine in a heated kiss. This time, neither of us feels the urge to stop as our hands begin to roam. His lips leave mine, traveling along my neck instead. He nips at my ear and says, "Can we please go into the tent now? I want to show you some of my other favorite things with you."

My head lolls back as my eyes close, blocking out the view of countless stars as I focus instead on his hands and mouth. When I can't take anymore teasing, I look at him again and whisper, "Please."

"Anything for you," he answers before helping me into the tent, where we settle in to make new memories.


	27. Our Spot

**A/N: **Happy Birthday, _**PollyPineCone**_! We hope you have a fantastic day.

As ever, we do not own Twilight - it owns us.

**ooOoo**

**Nervous**

_Oh God, I'm late! What if he left? What if-_

I pedal harder, almost standing on my bike to get to our spot faster. It's been too long since the last time we kissed, and I'm dying to touch him again.

Going faster, I try to ignore the anxious thoughts that are determined to invade my mind.

They always do.

Jasper and I've been together for almost a year now, but no one knows.

No one _can_ know.

If our dads found out, we'd both be in a world of trouble. So we sneak around, careful not to get caught.

**Sight**

I shove my bike into the rack, hastily locking it – not only would Dad be pissed if it was stolen, but it's my only means to see Jasper. I pocket the tiny key, but instead of heading into the park like everyone else, I cross the street and duck around the side of the library.

Threading my way through the dim, narrow alley makes me feel like a fugitive even as it gives me a sense of safety. When I finally emerge into daylight again, my eyes seek out the shadows at the base of the ancient church.

_He's here__._

**Whole**

I stop to stare at him for a moment, my heart still beating wildly in my chest as I catch my breath. Smiling, I watch as he nervously rubs his hands on his thighs, apparently trying to calm himself.

At first, he looks the other way, but then he turns and sees me. I move again, closing the distance between us in seconds.

My hands rest on his waist while his are placed on my chest, our gazes locked as we take each other in.

"Hi," he whispers shyly.

Glancing around quickly, I kiss him, unable to wait any longer.

**Sly**

His fingers slide up my chest and tangle in my hair as he pulls me closer. I press him against the wall, giving into the heated desire I feel.

This spot – at the back of the church, shaded by archways and climbing vines – is the most secluded we've found, and I feel almost… free.

Jasper suddenly shifts, flipping us around so that I'm the one with my back to the wall. His hands grasp my hips tightly as he presses himself against me. He breaks our kiss to whisper in my ear, "Jesus, Edward, I want you – so fucking bad."

**Jolt**

"Jazz," I moan.

Any further attempt to speak is quieted by his lips covering mine and his hand snaking down to undo my pants.

Whimpering into the kiss, I close my eyes tightly, afraid that if I keep them open I'll burst on the spot. Not to mention that I know I'd be too tempted to give into my fears and spoil everything by trying to make sure no one sees us.

The moment his fingers wrap around my shaft, I gasp, and my head tilts back harder than intended and hits the wall.

"Oh, fuck," I stammer, "J-jazz... please..."

**Plea**

"Baby, please…" Jasper whispers. "Can I taste you? Please?"

Jasper keeps up a steady stream of murmurs, begging permission to do what I want so badly. I've always been the one to stop us, and it kills me that as much as I love and want Jasper, all we've ever shared are a few stolen handjobs against the wall of the church.

Still, I'm torn because the thought of being caught and having everything ripped away is too painful.

"Edward, I want to have _you_. I don't want to go home and jack off. I wanna make you feel good…"

**Waver**

Jasper's hand tightens and twists as he strokes me gently, giving just enough pressure to get me going but not enough to bring me the release I'm beginning to need.

His lips trail along my jaw as he whispers how much he wants me and all the things he'd like to do with me – do _to_ me.

My hands clench, holding tightly to his shirt as if it's the only way to remain grounded. My legs are trembling, and I want to cry out so bad to tell him, "Yes, please, just fucking _do _it," but I know I can't.

**Give**

When I pull his hand away, he sighs. I hear the disappointment even though I know he'll try to hide it. I just can't think while he's doing that, though.

"Jazz, please…" I finally manage.

"Okay," he whispers, and his hands go back to my waist as he kisses me gently.

It moves me, somehow, that he's always so willing to do whatever I want, but this time he completely misunderstood.

"No," I murmur. "I want you to…"

He pulls back to look at me, and I feel my cheeks heat. I rock my hips into his and breathe, "Please."

**Hover**

Jasper's breathing hitches, his eyes darkening as he catches what I can't say. Biting my lip, I put our hands back on my hard-on, squeezing his hand slightly.

It's enough to spur him into action. He kisses me hard, taking my breath away before he suddenly disappears.

A strangled moan escapes him as he sinks to his knees, his eyes on my cock while mine are fixed on him.

My own breathing is harsh and ragged as I struggle to keep control. He's so close now, his lips a hair's breadth away from overheated skin.

Slowly, he licks his lips.

**Heat**

My mind dissolves, taking away inhibitions and fears as my world becomes nothing but pressure and pleasure.

And heat… oh my god, the heat.

Jasper's mouth is so warm and wet, so inviting – so unlike anything I've known before. His tongue massages me, teasing and probing, testing every inch of skin to see which makes me shudder the most.

My knees grow weak, and my breathing turns to panting before he's taken me more than halfway. When he flicks his tongue along my slit, I dig my fingers into his shoulders to keep from crying out.

"Holy shit," I whisper.

**Shake**

I run my fingers through his hair – gently at first, in affection, but the closer he brings me, the harder I tug.

Jasper's hand roams my thighs. When his thumb brushes my sack, I squirm and clench my fingers. Jasper moans at the sensation.

"Oh, fuck," I breathe, "Jazz... so close... can't... please!" I tug again, needing him to move.

His eyes rise to mine with a determined glint as he shakes his head minutely, letting me know he's not going anywhere.

"Shit... jesus... I-I..."

I'm gone the second Jasper cups my balls, my whole body shuddering as I come.

**Stare**

I sag against the wall, gulping air as stars bloom behind my eyelids. I swallow, forcing my eyes open again, expecting to see Jasper. Disoriented, I panic slightly when I don't see him, but then I catch the breathy sound of his whimpers.

He's kneeling on the ground before me, sitting back on his heels as he strokes his cock. He's never been so exposed to me before, even when I've touched him, and I find myself fascinated. My lips part as I watch him work his swollen shaft, squeezing so hard near the head that it almost looks painful.

**Beautiful**

Kneeling down beside him, I watch in awe.

Jasper's eyes are clenched shut; his mouth's agape as he pants and whimpers the closer he gets. A flush of red brushes his cheeks. The muscles of his forearm flex and bunch in an almost mesmerizing fashion and the head of his cock is turning purple and leaking.

I almost don't know where to look. I want to take it _all_ in.

Needing to touch him, I caress his cheek. He leans into my touch, letting out a strangled cry as he comes.

I've never seen anything more beautiful in my life.

**Hold**

Time's suspended as he comes down from his high. Finally, he takes a shuddering breath and opens his eyes. When he sees me, he smiles, the blush returning to his cheeks.

Dead leaves crinkle as he shifts and stands, shaking his hand in a futile attempt to clean it. Silently, I take off my hoodie and reach for his hand. I wipe away everything I can and dress both of us before pulling him close.

He wraps his arms around my waist and rests his head on my shoulder.

I can't hold him close enough.

"Thanks," we whisper as one.

**Match**

We stand in silence for several minutes, letting our breathing return to normal and coming to grips with what just happened.

With my head resting on his shoulder, my eyes close as I breathe him in, nuzzling him lightly. What we just shared was a first for us, and I'm not sure how to put into words just how much it means to me.

How much _he_ means to me.

Pressing my lips to his neck, he sighs and murmurs, "I know. Me, too."

I smile at the way he always just _gets_ me. "I love you, Jasper."

"Forever, Edward."


	28. Homecoming

**A/N: **Happy Birthday, _**Mzellq**_! We hope you have a fantastic day.

As ever, we do not own Twilight - it owns us.

**ooOoo**

**Long**

_Not much longer_, I tell myself trying too avoid checking the clock again. I know what I'd see if I did look - exactly nine hours and twenty-six minutes until Jasper's plane lands.

I know because I've been checking compulsively since I woke up this morning.

Trying to distract myself, I go in search of our beagle and find her in our bedroom. Her big brown eyes stare woefully at me as she lies on the ground beside her favorite stuffed toy.

I sigh and sit on the bed, and she ambles over, nudging my hand. "You miss him, too, huh?"

**Chance**

Bella huffs against my hand and whines softly. I smile, scratching behind her ear, murmuring, "I know. He'll be home soon."

She sighs and lays down at my feet even as I let myself fall backward onto the bed. Staring at the ceiling, I give a sigh of my own.

When Jasper was offered the opportunity to work in Amsterdam for a few months, with the promise of a promotion upon his return, we'd agreed we could work it out.

I just hadn't realized it would be so hard to be without him for so long.

I miss him so much.

**Ready**

I let myself wallow for a few minutes before launching into action. I haven't been taking the best care of anything while he was away - including myself.

I spend hours cleaning, paying attention to cobwebs and dust I haven't really cared about. In truth, I know he wouldn't either, but it's mostly an excuse to keep myself busy and keep my mind off the fact that in a few hours, I'll be able to hold him again.

Stepping into the shower, I groan. My eyes drift closed as I imagine the feel of his body against mine.

I can't wait.

**Care**

Methodically washing my body, I try to force the urge to take myself in hand away. Too often over the past few months, have I had to help myself and now that Jasper's mere hours away, I don't want to do it again.

Yet my hands seem to have a mind of their own as they begin to wander and images of Jasper flash in my mind's eye.

My body too tense, I finally give in, giving myself a few hard strokes. It doesn't take me long at all before I come. The need I feel is too great.

"Jasper," I moan.

**Out**

Watching Bella run around the backyard, I bounce from foot to foot impatiently. Now that the time has finally arrived, she seems to be dragging her feet.

"Come _on_!" I mutter under my breath as I watch her sniff every blade of grass, one at a time.

When she runs up to me wagging her tail, I sigh and give her a pet. "Good girl," I say. "Even if it did take you all day."

I swear the look she shoots me is withering.

At long last, she is back inside, and I rush out the door, my smile growing.

**Race**

For all that time's dragged, I find it's flying by now – especially when it seems that everything and everyone appears to be dead-set on keeping me from making it to the airport on time.

First there's an accident that blocks traffic and we end up being redirected – the _long_ way.

Then there's roadwork.

When I_ finally_ arrive, I'm a nervous wreck, certain that I'm too late. Granted, it'd mean he's waiting for me, but I want to _be _there when he walks through the gate.

I all but run, pushing and shoving my way through the crowd, apologizing as I go.

**Breathe**

By the time I make it as far as I can through the airport, my heart is beating crazily. I check the arrival boards and relax slightly when I see that he is just touching down.

My relief is short-lived, replaced quickly by anticipation. "God damn," I murmur, letting my eyes drift closed as I indulge in an image of Jasper in my arms.

"Edward!"

I open my eyes and search out the source of his voice. Catching sight of his messy blond hair, I push my way through the crowd. He crushes me to his chest, kissing me hungrily.

**Catch**

We stand there for a minute or so, alternately staring at each other, or kissing – pointedly ignoring some of the commentary from people passing by.

None of it matters, because he's _here_ again. In my arms.

Home for good.

His lips quirk, his eyes sparkle. He's fucking _glowing_ as he whispers, "_God,_ I've missed you."

Kissing him, I murmur, "Missed you, too, baby. Welcome home."

Each wrapping an arm around the other's waist, we walk over to baggage claim, talking quietly as we catch up on the latest news. As I watch him grab his things, I'm amazed at how _right_ life feels again.

**Familiar**

His hand never leaves my thigh as I drive us home. His fingers brush lightly, teasingly, over my jeans, as he leans across the console to whisper, "I cannot _wait _to get you in bed..."

I chuckle, biting my bottom lip and pressing the gas as I listen to his promises.

When we step in the door, Bella's waiting. She jumps, her front paws on Jasper's knee as her whole backside wiggles.

"Aww, I missed you, too," he laughs as he leans down to pet her. Sighing, he glances up at me. "Guess we should go for a walk first."

**Wait**

I can't contain my groan, but all it does is earn me two sets of pleading eyes: Jasper's _and_ Bella's. Though I'm almost certain hers hold a look of reproach in them, too.

Closing my eyes to gather myself, I take a deep breath and nod, my hand automatically reaching for Bella's leash on its hook.

Bella's bark of approval has us both laughing. Jasper takes the leash from me and before we've even really come home, we're out the door again, hand-in-hand and heading for Bella's favorite trail.

Jasper leans in and whispers, "We've waited this long. I promise, it'll be worth it."

**Peace**

My urge to pout fades the longer we walk. Having Jasper by my side again just feels so _right_ that I take the chance to really appreciate it.

When we reach the park, he lets Bella off her leash and spends a few minutes playing fetch with her. She's beside herself, jumping and wiggling and barking. She even knocks him over and licks his face relentlessly, making him laugh too hard to defend himself.

"Thanks," Jasper chuckles as I help him to his feet. Instead of dropping my hand, he tangles our fingers and pulls me close to kiss me.

**Slip**

We watch Bella as she sniffs her way along the trail again. It's surprising how easily we slip into old habits again, even after having spent the last four months apart. It's almost as if he never left.

Almost.

As soon as we walk through the front door again, it's painfully obvious how long it's been – literally. I'm _aching_ for him, my need to see, feel, touch, and taste him again spiraling quickly.

It's the same for Jasper, who makes quick work of kenneling Bella before dragging me to our room without so much as a word.

We're long past speaking as we kiss.

**Need**

Jasper's hands are so sure as he unbuttons my shirt. He kisses me with confidence and some amount of possessiveness. It makes me smile.

His lips curve against mine in a smile of his own as he guides me across the room until my back is pressed against the bedpost. There, he kisses down my neck, whispering love and devotion mixed with promises so wicked they make me shiver with anticipation.

A cool breeze meets my skin as my clothing falls away, replaced instantly by his hot mouth as he claims every inch of me.

"God, you're perfect," I breathe.

**Know**

Jasper's every touch ignites me in both new and familiar ways. New, because it's been too damn long, and familiar because it's Jasper. My partner of the last seven years. My love.

My eyes close automatically as he relearns my body, paying tribute to every little landmark he knows and reverently passing his lips along new ones, like the scar from my appendix surgery two months ago.

I'm completely lost in sensation when he finally takes my cock into his mouth.

_Heaven_.

Jasper hums. My moan grows louder when he presses a finger into me.

"God, Jazz... missed you, baby, please..."

**Flow**

Our bodies are fluid, moving and melding together as if we haven't spent a day apart. Before we even hit the sheets, Jasper has me panting.

As soon as he's on his back, I slide down his body. Licking and sucking hungrily, I moan at the taste of my man. He exhales heavily, shivering as both his hands grab my hair. I smile against his skin and wonder if this is one of my many fantasies over the last few months.

He proves it isn't when he yanks me up and rolls us over, pinning my arms over my head.

**Beg**

His kiss is fierce, demanding. Welcomed. He pulls away only far enough to whisper hoarsely, "Ed, please, _please_ let me-"

Raising my chin, I cover his lips with mine to stop him talking.

He moans.

"Jasper, I swear to God, if you don't hurry up and fuck me _right now..._" I threaten, all heat behind it lost by the gravel in my voice.

"Love you."

I buck my hips. "Love you, too. Please, Jazz."

Within seconds, he presses into me. We both moan, arching into each other, relishing the connection. Once he's fully sheathed, I feel something deep in me shift into place again.

**Soul**

Our frenzy fades, replaced by a smoldering passion as our eyes lock. Jasper kisses me again and again, adding spice and honesty to the movement of our bodies.

When he releases my hands, I let them slide down his back to grasp his ass, trying desperately to pull him closer. I've known for years that he is the one for me, but our time apart has solidified everything for me.

I don't want to let him go. Ever.

I can't.

Gazing into his eyes, I smile, and he returns it with a whispered, "You are my life."

"And you're mine."

**Peak**

All too soon I feel that long missed, familiar tension build inside of me – something that's just never the same when getting myself off. Something that's singularly there with Jasper.

Soft moans, whispers of love, promises of what's to come all mix in the air, flowing from one to the other as we both get closer and closer.

Jasper comes first but keeps going until I follow after him seconds later, crying out his name.

When I'm with it again I see him watching me with awe, love, and devotion shimmering in his eyes.

"Marry me?" he whispers reverently, cupping my cheek.

**Stunned**

"What?" I ask stupidly.

His chuckle is breathless as he runs his thumb over my bottom lip. "Marry me, beautiful… please."

"Really?" As soon as the word leaves my lips, I wince, wishing I could take it back.

Jasper just smiles, though. "Yes, really. I meant to wait until I had a ring, but I just… this is just so _right_."

His arms tighten around me, and my smile beams across my lips as I realize he's serious – and I want it more than I ever knew. "God, yes… yes…" I whisper, pressing him into the mattress as we kiss.

**Elated**

I can't stop smiling – _or _kissing him, making him laugh as he runs his fingers through my hair affectionately. I don't think I've _ever_ been this happy, and I tell him so.

He grins. "Good, because you just made me the happiest man on earth, too."

We talk excitedly for a while, exhaustion forgotten in the wake of his proposal. Suddenly, the relative quiet surrounding us is interrupted by enthusiastic barks from Bella.

Jasper laughs. "Sounds like she's happy, too."

I nod. Bella's always sensed Jasper's emotions, and right now, they're easy to tell – happy and complete.

Just like me.


	29. Changing Perspective

**A/N: **Happy Birthday,_** Mizzdee_ff**_! We hope you have a fantastic day.

As ever, we do not own Twilight - it owns us.

**Pairing:** Seth/Paul

**Rating:** T

**ooOoo**

**Kinship**

My knee's bouncing nervously, sweat's beading on my forehead, I'm wringing my hands almost to the point of pain, and I can't look at him.

I just can't.

Hell, I'm not even sure I'll be able to get my voice to work, but who else am I going to tell? He's the only one who'd understand.

The only one who's been there.

Except... _He_'s not the one coming out to his crush.

I am.

At least, I'm supposed to be. I chance a quick glance and see Paul waiting patiently for me to start.

_Oh God... I can't do this..._

**Patience**

"Seth, did you scratch my bike?" Paul asks suddenly.

I blink at him, completely confused. "No, why?"

He cracks a half-smile, lifting only one side of his lips. "Because that's the only thing I can think of that should scare you this bad."

"Oh…" I shake my head. "Oh, no. I haven't… I didn't…"

"Relax, man," he says, reaching out to put a hand on my shoulder. "Just a joke. Whatever it is, it's cool, alright? Just take your time."

He suits his words by sitting on the steps, leaning back on his elbows and letting his legs sprawl out.

**Exhale**

Closing my eyes and taking a few deep breaths, I try to calm, telling myself that this is Paul – the same guy who's been there for me all my life.

Before I can focus too much on what _else_ he is to me, I release one long breath and slowly open my eyes to look at him.

Paul's watching the distant waves, keeping his gaze there as if he knows it'll make it easier on me than if he faced me.

Though I try, I can't stop my nerves from showing. My knee continues to bounce as I say, "Paul..."

**Out**

He turns to me, and I immediately want to hide. I don't, though. I force myself to look at him, amazed by his calm and the change that's taken place over the last year.

Before then, Paul was a ticking bomb. We never knew what would set him off – or what he would do when he was pissed. Since he came out, though, he's just… mellowed.

And that's made him even hotter.

He's cool and confident and gorgeous and everything I want.

My tongue freezes to the roof of my mouth before I force the words out.

"I-I-I'm gay."

**Terror**

Paul's eyes search mine, the only other reaction visible being a slight rise of his right eyebrow.

My heart beats wildly in my chest, and my palms are sweaty. My body stills under his perceived scrutiny. It's almost as if he's waiting for something more.

_Oh God. He _knows_? How-?_

_Oh God oh God oh God__..._

I'm getting lightheaded, and it takes me a second to realize I'm close to hyperventilating. Paul frowns in concern and puts a calming hand on my arm. "Seth, man, calm down. It's not the end of the world, I promise. It won't be easy, but..."

**Shake**

The world goes blurry as I gulp air, and I can't figure out if I'm crying or not. I sit down hard on the step beside him and lean forward, putting my head between my knees.

_Can this get any worse__?_

I bark a weak half-laugh, and then I feel something I never expected – a hand rubbing between my shoulder blades. It brings me out of my stupor, letting me catch Paul's murmurs.

"Seth… calm down, okay? Look, I'll help you. I know it's scary as hell…"

He keeps talking as I lift my head to look in his eyes.

**Stall**

Letting his words wash over me, I try to think, to put my words together to tell him.

Paul senses I'm trying to say something and lets his voice trail off even as he continues to gently rub my back.

My mouth opens and closes in an attempt to speak, but all that comes out is an ungainly squeak before I shut it with a snap.

_I _can't_ tell him. He'll push me away. No way he's interested in a squirt like me__._

Frowning, I look down at my feet as I mumble something about people – my _family_ – not understanding.

**Console**

He watches me silently before suddenly I'm crushed against his chest. I feel him kiss the top of my head, and my world spins.

_What the-? He… he can't…_

Coherent thought evades me as I sit uselessly in Paul's arms. Everything in me screams to turn to him, to kiss him, but some sense of self-preservation warns me that _that_ is not what this means.

My confusion gives me the chance to pull myself together even though I'm still sniffling when Paul pulls away. The smile he gives me is reassuring, and I attempt to return it before looking down.

**Courage**

Paul takes my hand in his, squeezing it lightly. "If you want, I'll be there with you when you tell them. They'll understand, Seth, believe me."

He goes on to explain how they've stood by him, have been some of his biggest advocates on the Rez. It kills me to know that he's trying to help, but doesn't know the real issue.

Closing my eyes, I grit my teeth, resolving to tell him. The fact that he's still holding my hand bolsters my courage as I look up.

"Paul... I-I'm in love with you."

My voice is hoarse, barely audible.

**Quiet**

I look away, unable to take the way he's staring at me like I'm some bug he's never seen before. My eyes won't settle on any one thing, darting around until finally I squeeze them shut.

I feel a strange sense of relief that it's finally out there – until I realize that I may have just lost my only real ally.

Then I feel nothing but stark terror.

This time, I jump when he touches my hand.

"Sorry," he mutters. When I look up at him, he sighs. "Seth…"

He trails off, looking more unsure than I've ever seen him.

**Argue**

The small furrow between his eyes deepens as he says quietly, "You don't mean that. You can't."

As Paul continues to talk, pointing out all the reasons why I'm wrong, why I couldn't possibly feel the way I say I do, I feel my heart crumble at my feet.

My eyes sting at his words. Jerking my hand away from his, I get up, stalking a few feet away from him. I'm hurt, but I'm also angry.

Angry, because he refuses to believe me.

"You'll feel differently once you get out there, Seth," he argues.

My hands clench into fists.

**Counterpoint**

"Are you done?" My voice is low, and I can feel my hands shake.

"Yeah." That one word makes anger flare in my chest.

"Don't you _dare_ tell me what the fuck I feel!" I explode. "Do you think I just woke up this morning and thought this would be a good idea? I've been watching you for years. Wanting you. I've been scared out of my fucking mind because of the way you make me feel. You're smart and funny and so goddamn sexy that I can't think straight. You were there for me and Leah when no one-"

**Break**

I rail at him for several minutes, telling him _in detail_ how I feel and why. The longer I talk, the more I see shock and disbelief make way for something else, but I'm too upset to even attempt to figure out what's going through _his_ mind right now.

Paul gets to his feet slowly, his eyes intent on mine as he walks up to me hesitantly. The way he reaches toward my face – as if trying to calm a frightened animal – is enough to pause me.

"Seth," he whispers, gazing questioningly at me.

"I mean it, Paul," I manage.

**Question**

"How can you-?" he breaks off suddenly and shakes his head. "I mean…" He runs his fingers through his hair and looks out over the ocean, exhaling heavily.

I just wait. There's nothing else for me to say.

When he looks back at me, his guard is down. "Look, I don't know what to say. I've never thought of… I mean, you're Leah's brother, you know?"

I huff and roll my eyes, more hurt than I want to let on.

_Of course I'm just Leah's stupid brother__._

His hand cups my cheek, and I turn to look at him reluctantly.

**Vulnerable**

My eyes burn and shimmer with tears that threaten. I try to keep my words inside, too, but they escape. "Why can't you just see _me_?"

Paul's eyes roam my face as if looking at me for the first time. His other hand brushes hair out of my eyes before cupping my cheek again, cradling my face with a tenderness that sets my heart fluttering in spite of everything.

"Please," I whisper, wanting nothing more than for him to see me. To kiss me.

To love me.

To be mine.

"Seth..."

I close my eyes, unable to handle any more.

**Coax**

"Will you look at me?" His voice isn't soft – it's frustrated.

I squeeze my eyes tighter, shaking my head once before doing as he asked anyway. When I meet his eyes, he gives a tiny half-smile.

"Thanks," he whispers. He runs his thumb across my jaw, and my heart races at the simple gesture – but then his hand drops to his side. "I'm sorry. You just… kinda surprised me. A lot."

I swallow, unsure how to respond.

"I've never let myself think of you guys that way. You're my friends, and I didn't want to screw that up, ya know?"

**Give**

I nod, frowning slightly. I guess I can see his point, but still...

Paul sighs softly, resting his forehead against mine. It feels both intimate and so very far from what I want.

"Seth," he murmurs. "I don't want to screw up our friendship."

I try to pull away, ready to argue again, but his fingers tighten their grip, keeping me in place even as he shakes his head and says, "Please just… listen."

I nod again.

"Seth, I like you... and you're... well... beautiful... Believe me when I say I'm not saying 'no'. Please?"

"Then what _are_ you saying?"

**Slow**

He smiles, and he's still so close and so unbelievably gorgeous that I feel my heart racing. "I'm saying… I'm not ready to say I'm in love with you. There's so much we don't know about each other… so much we haven't done... but I _do_ like you. I _am _attracted to you."

At that, he runs his fingers through my hair, sending shivers down my spine.

"I'm willing to give this a shot." A smile spreads across my face, but he puts a finger over my lips. "One condition?" he says.

I nod readily.

"We take this slow... okay?"

**Shy**

My lips twitch against his finger. "I can do slow," I mumble.

Paul smiles.

All the anger from earlier has completely turned around into excitement, as well as a different kind of nervous apprehension.

He's been with other guys before. I haven't. Nor have I been with any girls.

Blushing and feeling silly, I chew my bottom lip before whispering shyly, "Paul?"

"Yeah, baby?" he says softly.

I shiver at the term of endearment. Looking at him through my lashes, I murmur, "Does this mean I can kiss you now?"

He chuckles, then leans in, brushing his lips over mine.

**First**

The pressure of his lips against mine mixes with the way he smells and my own nervous energy to make my body sing. I feel so _alive_.

I don't want the feeling to end, so I reach up tentatively, sliding my hand along his cheek until it rests on the back of his neck. He gives a little sigh and tilts his head, pressing his lips more firmly against mine.

The sound that escapes me has to be a whimper, as embarrassing as that is, but I don't even care because Paul's lips part, and his tongue gently brushes mine.

**Soar**

Blissful minutes pass as we kiss. Paul pulls me closer, and I just want to melt into him.

I never dreamed it could be like this, that I could feel _so much_ from a kiss.

But I do, and the more time goes by, the higher I fly. I'm only anchored by his arms holding me, and mine going around his neck.

Eventually, he pulls away, smiling softly. "Would you go on a date with me, Seth? A proper one?"

I stare, momentarily dazed before nodding vigorously.

A date. With Paul.

Kissing. Paul.

"Yes, please," I whisper.

I can't _wait_!


	30. Away

**A/N: **Happy Birthday, _**Flea**_! We hope you have a fantastic day.

As ever, we do not own Twilight - it owns us.

**ooOoo**

**Escape**

We could have flown, but there's something so freeing about running this way. Bella laughs in delight, jumping from rock to rock as she travels down the middle of the river. Her grace is stunning, her chestnut hair flowing behind her on the wind.

She is breathtaking.

Or would be, if I had to breathe. I pay more attention to her than I do my surroundings. No one ever comes out here to this remote place too far from civilization.

Still, I test the wind, finding no scents but our own and those of the wildlife.

We are blessedly alone.

**Arrive**

My eyes are on Bella as she suddenly stops, staring in awe at the sight before her. When I reach her, I take her hand, smiling.

"Have you ever seen anything as beautiful as that?" she whispers.

I chuckle. She turns to me with mock-irritation as she wags her finger. "Don't you dare say it, Edward! That's not what I meant, and you know it."

Grinning, I pull her to me and kiss her deeply. After a few minutes, I pull away, brushing strands of hair out of her face. "Ah, Bella, nothing could compare to you. Not for me."

**Narrow**

She narrows her golden eyes at me. "I told you not to say it!" she accuses.

I just shrug, giving her the smile that still makes her eyes lose focus.

She stares at me for a moment, leaning closer before she suddenly pushes away and mutters, "Don't do that either."

Throwing my head back, I laugh and squeeze her just a little tighter in my arms. "What should I do then?" I murmur.

She smiles up at me sweetly before biting her bottom lip. She toys with a button on my shirt as she says, "I have a few ideas…"

**Reveal**

"Do you, now?" I murmur, my eyes locked with hers.

She hums, letting her hands trail up to my face. I gasp as she suddenly lifts the veil that normally keeps her thoughts hidden from me.

My fingers tighten on her sides as I see flashes of us, naked, swimming. Kissing. Caressing.

The longer she lets me inside her head, the more vivid and explicit the pictures become, until it's all I can do not to attack and ravage her right then and there.

My body's reactions are growing out of control, and a low growl builds in my chest.

**Tease**

My hand slips beneath her shirt, teasing the skin of her back just as the veil falls back into place. At my pout, she smiles and presses up on her toes.

Her fingers tangle in my hair, and she kisses me hard, leaving me panting for breath I don't need. Before I can ask why she pulled away, she grins wickedly. "You have to catch me first."

The final word is still lingering in the air, but she is gone. I catch glimmers of her blue shirt across the lake and smile, growling as I throw myself into the chase.


	31. Color of Inspiration

**A/N: **Happy Birthday,_**Twanza**_! We hope you have a fantastic day.

As ever, we do not own Twilight - it owns us.

**ooOoo**

**Design**

Looking up from my Physics book, I find Edward concentrating on his art project. His tongue is sticking out, his hair completely defying gravity, and I can't help but smile.

He's adorable.

Whenever I tell him that, though, he huffs and rolls his eyes.

My secret is that sometimes I tell him that _to_ see his reaction.

With a sigh, I force myself to stop staring at my boyfriend and go back to studying for my final. I have to admit that sometimes I'm jealous that his coursework includes colored pencils and pastels, but we're both doing what we love.

**Mutter**

I'm trying to focus on my studying, but something keeps pulling me out of my concentration. It takes me a minute to realize it's Edward, muttering under his breath.

Looking up, I frown when I see him rummage through his pencils with an air of frustration, his lips moving with words too quiet for me to catch.

Straightening up, I ask quietly, "Babe, what's wrong?"

"Huh?" he looks up, blinking confusedly.

Stifling my grin, I try not to show the fond affection I feel at his dishevelment. Instead, I nod to his work and repeat my question.

"Oh... nothing, just..."

**Flustered**

He stammers for a minute, alternating between trying to talk and searching through his pencils some more. Finally, he looks up and grumbles, "There's no color for your eyes."

Bemused, I tilt my head. "What are you talking about?"

He flushes and glances away before meeting my gaze. He sighs and bites the inside of his cheek. "My final project is to umm… to create something for five words: innocence, desolation, redemption, justice, and… ahh… inspiration."

At the last word, he blushes furiously, making me furrow my brow. "What are you working on, baby?" I ask quietly.

He sighs softly.

**Understanding**

He shuffles the short distance over to me on his knees, holding his pad to his chest. When he reaches me, he hands it to me, his eyes focusing on everything but me.

I cup his flushed cheek, brushing it gently until he meets my gaze. I smile and peck his lips, murmuring, "I love you, Ed. You don't have to show me if it makes you this nervous."

Though I'm dying to see his work – as I always am – I know how personal it is to him, and how uncomfortable it is for him at times to share it.

**Revelation**

"No, I mean… I want you to see it. It's going in the gallery anyway, and…" He shrugs as he trails off, chewing his bottom lip nervously. "You should see it first."

"You're sure?"

He nods, and I smile as I turn the pad over. My smile fades as my eyes widen, stunned by what I see. I can't draw a straight line, and seeing Edward's creations never fails to amaze me. This time, I find a flawless rendition of my face, save that he's made me far more beautiful than I am, with full lips and artistically messy blond hair.

**Wonder**

My fingers hover just above the paper. I wouldn't dare touch it, but the temptation's there. I can't seem to tear my gaze away.

From the corner of my eye, I see Edward fidget nervously. Placing my hand on his thigh, I squeeze lightly.

"Edward, I- This is beautiful. I can't believe this is me," I whisper, awed.

Edward puts his finger under my chin, tipping my head up. He smiles. "You _are_ beautiful, love."

This time, it's my turn to blush as he leans, kissing me tenderly.

"Now if I could only get your eyes right," he mutters.

**Question**

"Baby?" I murmur, trying to catch his attention before he becomes absorbed in his work again.

"Hmm?" he asks absently.

I smile and shake my head, but I really want to know the answer to my question. "Why were you blushing?" I ask. "Which one is this for?"

He drops the pencil he was holding. "Oh. Umm…" If anything, his blush deepens as he finishes softly, "inspiration."

Swallowing, I echo him. "Oh."

He meets my eyes, and I feel a smile spreading across my face. I carefully move his pad to the table and slip to my knees beside him.

**Tender**

His green eyes follow my every move as he stays absolutely still. He doesn't move until I'm climbing onto his lap; only then does he put his hands on my hips.

He bites his lip, smiling shyly at me.

Cupping his face, I watch him intently for a moment before ducking my head and kissing him languidly.

After a while, I pull away with a soft hum. Kissing Edward has always been one of my favorite things to do. Like his art, he puts everything he has into it – his whole heart.

"Why inspiration, baby?" I ask with quiet curiosity.

**Answer**

He gives me a shy smile. "Because…" Swallowing, he breaks off. He doesn't meet my eye, toying with a button on my shirt as he finishes, "Because when I look at you, I want to create."

I can't answer at first, too stunned to believe I could inspire anyone that way, let alone the beautiful man beneath me. "Thank you," I finally say.

He glances up at me through his lashes. "Thank _you_." He lifts his chin and kisses me gently, nuzzling against my jaw as he whispers, "You make everything in my life come alive. I love you, Jazz."

**Content**

Minutes pass, and all I want to do is remain here, in the bubble we've created. We kiss, holding each other close and murmuring sweet words back and forth.

He tells me more about his project. I feel honored, and proud, to be such an integral part of it.

After a while, he groans and tries to shift underneath me. With a chuckle and one last kiss, I murmur, "Sorry, babe. We should probably get back to work, huh?"

I climb off him, and he stretches his legs, grimacing at the pins and needles shooting through them. "Yeah, I suppose..."

**Smile**

As the feeling returns to his legs, he cups my cheek and kisses me again before we both return to our work reluctantly. I pick up the Physics book, reading the passage with a renewed vigor. Having someone like Edward putting so much stock in me makes me want to be the best man I can be.

He sits back at the table, studying his drawing for a few minutes before turning back to his pencils. "Too light," he mutters, shifting one to the side. "Too purple…"

I listen to him sorting the colors, hiding my smile behind my book.


	32. Big Catch

**A/N: **Happy Birthday, _**InaBlueBathrobe**_! We hope you have a fantastic day.

As ever, we do not own Twilight - it owns us.

**ooOoo**

**Again**

_I _hate_ fighting._

Even as we're both shouting at each other, that thought flashes through my mind, and I stop. Rose keeps going, though, and I flinch as she yells at me how much she hates this.

Things have been rough for a while now, and it's killing me. The stress we've been under is getting the better of us, and I don't know what to do about it.

I love Rose, with all I am. I can't even _imagine_ being without her.

My biggest fear is that she _can_.

When she sees I've stopped arguing, she glares at me.

**Refuge**

I wince at the sound of her craftroom door slamming. Both my hands go to my hair, and I pull hard, frustration getting the best of me.

I don't know what to do.

I hate that.

I'm a fixer. I see what's wrong and make it right. I just can't with this, and it fucking kills me.

It kills me even more to know she thinks it's her fault.

"Fucking… shit!" I growl, kicking at the couch. My foot connects with the wood, and I grab my toes, landing hard on the couch and throwing a pillow across the room.

**Deflate**

Silence reigns in the house.

Leaning my head back against the couch, I stare at the ceiling, feeling anger disappear completely. Instead, I feel empty. Cold. Alone.

Unable to handle the silence any longer, I turn on the TV to find a game to watch. I don't even care what sport; I just need the background noise. Settling on a ballgame – I don't have a clue who's playing – I close my eyes, thinking.

_What the hell's happened to us?_

Resisting the urge to grab a beer, I try to come up with a way to get back to _us_ again.

**Plan**

Flowers and restaurants and jewelry – they all cross my mind. But they're just band aids, just lame attempts at what I _should_ do, not something that will mean anything.

I nearly decide to grab that beer after all when, finally, it hits me.

"Yes!" I whisper, hopping up off the couch and heading for the garage.

The place is a mess, storage containers still scattered everywhere despite the fact that we moved in months ago. But there, in the corner, is what I'm looking for.

I set both our fishing poles to the side and reach for the tackle box.

**Meticulous**

Checking all the lures and hooks, I close the tackle box and put it with the poles.

Next, I search for our picnic basket. It takes me awhile to find it, but when I do, I almost whoop out loud, barely restraining myself. I don't want to give anything away just yet.

Carrying it into the kitchen, I clean everything carefully before going through the fridge and pantry, putting together a nice picnic for two. I even grab a bottle of wine and a couple of glasses.

That done, I add a couple of blankets, our fishing caps, and sunscreen.

**Try**

"Rosie?" I call softly, knocking on the door. I sigh when she doesn't answer.

Mustering my courage, I open the door and peek in. She's sitting at the sewing machine, but her hands are in her lap and her head's down. My heart breaks seeing her that way – especially since it's my fault.

I cross the room as quietly as I can, which isn't easy with all the baskets of… who knows what she has everywhere. "Rosie?" I ask again as I kneel in front of her.

I see her jaw tighten, but her eyes are closed. She doesn't answer.

**Coax**

"Baby, please, look at me?"

She turns her head away from me. I sigh.

"Sweetheart, I'm sorry. Really. I know things have been stressful beyond belief, and I'm so sorry if I've been taking it out on you. Can you forgive me? Please?"

My voice is low, pleading, but also hopeful. Finally, she turns to look at me, her eyes shimmering as she nods. Next thing I know, she flings her arms around my neck, almost strangling me as she hugs me.

I smile in relief, kissing her temple. "I love you, Rosie. So much."

"Love you, too," she hiccups.

**Out**

"Are you working on something?"

She looks confused at my question but then glances around. "Oh… no." She shakes her head and gives me a half-smile. "I just…"

She shrugs, and I nod in understanding. It hurts to know she needed to get away from me, but it's a harsh truth I need to face. It's why I'm here, after all – to get us away from the patterns we've fallen into.

I smile at her, reaching up to cup her cheek. "Will you come out with me, my Rosalie?"

She relaxes at my touch. "What did you have in mind?"

**Enthusiasm**

I shift, raising myself up a little. "I was thinking we could go to our spot on the river and do some fishing, have a little picnic? We haven't done that in forever, and we used to love going, so I figured it'd be a good way to maybe get back to being… us again. What do you say?"

Her eyes search mine. I can feel her cheeks lift into a smile. "Sure you're up for being outdone again? You never were good at catching anything worthwhile."

Leaning close, I whisper softly, "I caught you. Best catch I ever made."

**Blush**

Her cheeks flame in a rare blush – it's nearly impossible to catch her off guard enough to get that sort of reaction. The ruddy tone just makes her more beautiful, and I lean in, urging her closer. She meets me in the middle, her lips moving softly with mine. When we part, her smile is bright, and some sort of shadow has gone from her eyes.

I want to make sure it's gone for good.

I stand and offer her my hand. She takes it and stands smoothly, surprising me by kissing my cheek. "Thank you," she whispers, walking away.

**Ready**

I watch her, smiling, feeling much better than I did only an hour ago. Following her to our room, I take her lead and change into more appropriate clothes for our outing.

Rosalie's all smiles when she walks out of the bathroom, pulling her hair up into a ponytail. I can't help but grin. She's wearing her favorite jeans, a white tank top, and one of my old flannel shirts, which is massive on her.

"All set?" I ask, holding my hand out to her.

She nods and takes my hand, only letting go once we get to the kitchen.

**Drive**

On the way to the lake, she pulls down the visor on the passenger side, muttering as she looks through the stash of old CDs I still keep in my truck.

"What're you looking for, babe?" I ask, glancing over.

"You'll see," is her cryptic answer before she says, "A ha!"

She fiddles with the in-dash CD player, and I have to smile when the music finally starts playing. "Just got home from Illinois – lock the front door, oh boy!" we sing together.

My smile grows when Rosie rests her hand on my thigh as we continue our private concert.

**Rushes**

Parking in our old spot, we end up having to walk the last bit in order to get to our destination. I carry the brunt of the load, but Rose takes her share as always.

She's walking ahead of me and even from behind I can tell she's happier than she's been in a while. It makes me smile, knowing that I did the right thing by bringing her here.

She stops suddenly. Catching up to her, she stares at the rushes in the river and whispers, "I forgot how beautiful this place was. It's so clear out here. "

**Settling**

Rosalie hums under her breath as we sort out lines and lures. She ties mine for me, grinning as she mutters about my clumsy hands.

"You always said you liked them," I tease.

"I do," she breathes, leaning in to kiss my cheek, "on me." Before I can respond, she sits up straight. "But they're useless for tying knots."

My body reacts strongly to her teasing, and she smiles knowingly.

"Catch a big one for me," she says, "and maybe I'll catch a big one, too."

"Rosie," I groan – both at the bad joke and the stirring in my jeans.

**Sanctuary**

We sit mostly in silence as we cast our lines, waiting for fish to bite. When we do talk, it's about good memories we have of times like this. The more we share, the better we both seem to be.

After an hour or so, Rose pulls in her line with her fifth catch while I'm still waiting for my first. I've had nibbles, but they've all gotten away. I grump playfully, suggesting they fell for her wily lures as usual.

It earns me a kiss and a ruffling of my hair before she saunters off to set out lunch.

**Dessert**

After a few more minutes of no bites, I give up. I reel in my line and lean my pole against a tree before heading off in search of Rosie.

When I round the big oak, she comes into view. She's a few yards away, in the middle of the small clearing. The food I packed is spread out on our blanket, and she's on her knees, pouring wine.

When I settle beside her, she puts the glasses to the side and presses me onto my back, straddling me. "How about some dessert first?" she murmurs with a wicked smile.

**Excitement**

My eyes widen in surprise, even as a grin spreads on my lips and my hands reach for her hips. My voice is lower than I anticipated when I say, "What did you have in mind, Rose?"

She leans forward, purposely rubbing over my hardening cock. When her face is inches from mine, she whispers, "That's for me to know, and you to find out."

A quick kiss and a wink, and she's gone, scooting down my legs before I can attempt to stop her. Not that I would. It's been a long time, and Junior's definitely _up_ for dessert.

**Firm**

She doesn't play coy. She unbuttons my jeans, lowering the zipper before patting my thigh. I lift my hips at her silent command, and she bites her bottom lip as she pulls my pants to my ankles.

I reach down, intending to caress her cheek, but she smacks my hand away.

"Uh uh," she admonishes. "Hands to yourself… for now."

I grin in anticipation, putting my hands behind my head and lifting slightly to watch her instead. She meets my gaze, wetting her lips before she slowly lowers her head.

"Oh my _god_," I groan when I feel wet heat.

**Pleasure**

I itch to touch her, to connect with her and let her know how much I love her. Every time I try, though, she smacks my ass hard and narrows her eyes at me, never breaking her stride.

Growling in frustration, I clasp my hands tightly behind my head in order to refrain from trying again.

Rose hums her approval, sending shivers of delight through me.

She teases me, taking me to the brink several times but always slowing down.

I moan, curse, even beg before she finally gives me what I desperately need and swallows everything I give her.

**Deny**

As soon as I recover, I sit up and kiss her hungrily. I fucking love the taste of myself on her lips, and she moans softly, tangling her fingers in my hair.

When I reach for her jeans, she pulls away. Her blue eyes are mischievous as she pops my hand again.

I know that look too fucking well.

"Rosie…" I'm not whining. Definitely not.

She smiles, all-powerful and all-knowing. "No."

I'm not pouting, either.

She moves to her hands and knees, giving me a groan-inducing view of her cleavage as she puts one finger under my chin. "Later. Maybe."

**Reason**

The mischief leaves her eyes and her face softens and her voice is quiet. "I just wanted to... thank you. For all of this."

She tilts her head to the food and sits back on her heels, folding her hands in her lap as she looks at me.

"You were right," she says, her lips quirking slightly. "And if you repeat it to anyone, I'll deny ever having said it." She winks.

I laugh, shaking my head at my Rosie.

Her giggle pulls my attention back to her as she says, "I'm sure you can figure out ways to repay me... later. When we're home."

**Enjoy**

I know when I'm beaten, so I don't argue anymore. Instead, I turn part of my mind to all the things I can do to pleasure her.

The rest of my attention is focused on her – on us. We talk over lunch, appreciating each other for the first time in… I don't know how long. It makes me sad that we've been growing so far apart, but today feels like a step in the right direction.

After the last of the sandwiches are gone, she reclines in my arms. I kiss her temple and pull her closer, murmuring, "Thank you."

**Catch**

She hums, resting her head against my shoulder. We sit for a while, quietly talking about where we want to go from here.

_Really_ talking. It feels good – _right_ – and I smile. Rose's been as scared as me, worrying I was going to leave her. Now we both know where we stand and what we want, and it helps. A lot.

After a while, Rose looks at me. "Want to fish again? See if you can get them to bite this time?"

Kissing her lightly, I shake my head. "Told you, I've already got the best catch I ever made."


	33. Breaking Habits

**A/N: **Happy Birthday,_**Violentserenity**_! We hope you have a fantastic day.

As ever, we do not own Twilight - it owns us.

**ooOoo**

**Bench**

Every day I see her sitting on that same bench, staring at the mural as if it holds life's answers. It's van Gogh's _Starry Night_, so I guess it's possible.

Still, I can't help but wonder what draws her to it, day in and day out. I've never dared ask her, though.

Instead, I just watch from the window of my shop. By the time I close the doors at six, she's gone again.

Until today.

When I turn to head home, I'm surprised to find her still sitting there. Unable to help myself, I walk slowly up to her.

**Nerve**

As soon as I'm standing behind her, I freeze. I don't know what to say, what to do, how to not look like some creeper stalking her from the shadows.

I start to turn on my heel when I hear her sigh. There's something broken in that sound, something that draws me to sit on the bench beside her.

Large, brown eyes peer up at me from a pale, heart-shaped face, where her pink lips are drawn up in a slight 'o' of surprise.

"I'm sorry," I say in a rush. "Is someone sitting here?"

"Oh… no," she answers quietly.

**Stammer**

"I-I..." Closing my eyes briefly, I take a deep breath. "Sorry. I'm Edward... I..I work over there."

I point at my little store, blushing as her gaze follows before returning to me.

"I'm Bella," she answers, her voice quiet, but sure. She frowns a little. "You really work in a toy store?"

Nodding, I clear my throat, explaining how it used to be my father's, that we only sell hand-crafted toys, and that he taught me everything I know.

Bella listens patiently, but I detect none of the scorn I've come to expect from others over my choice of profession.

**Interest**

"Do you make the toys yourself?"

At her question, I feel my cheeks heat again. "S-some of them, but not most," I admit.

She turns slightly toward me, resting her elbow on the back of the bench. I watch in fascination as her hand lifts, toying with her hair. "Really? What kinds of things do you make?"

"Puzzles, mostly."

She arches an eyebrow with a curious look on her face, and I find myself talking more than usual. Anytime I start to wind down, she asks another question, wanting to know about painting and carving until, finally, there's a lull.

**Curious**

Running my fingers through my hair, I clear my throat anxiously, my eyes darting around but always coming back to her. "So... can I ask you something?"

She nods.

"Why do you come here every day?"

Bella brushes her hair out of her face as she watches me, a small crease on the bridge of her nose. "How do you know I'm here every day?" she retorts.

My cheeks flame as I admit to having watched her for the past few weeks.

_Now she's _really_ gonna think I'm a stalker or something. _I berate myself, unable to meet her gaze.

**Sad**

She looks away, staring at the mural again. I feel completely out of place, but I can't think of anything that won't just make this worse.

I finally decide to say goodbye and leave, but before I can force my mouth to open, she sighs.

"My dad took me to an art museum in Seattle when I was a kid. We went to a van Gogh exhibit, and I remember just being… in awe."

"Of the paintings?" I ask quietly.

She gives a somber half-smile, her eyes still on the art. "No… that my dad was spending time with me."

**Explain**

My heart breaks for her. I can't imagine not being close to my dad.

Bella blushes, shaking her head as she hurries to explain. "Oh, it's... I'm saying this wrong, I guess. Charlie was a great guy. Really. My parents divorced when I was really young, and I ended up moving around a lot with my mom. I didn't get much of a chance to really know him growing up."

She stares at the mural again, adding quietly, "I wish I'd made the time to get to know him when I was old enough to decide. It's too late, now."

**Condolences**

I'm torn between curiosity and a fear of prying too deeply. I turn to look at the mural, trying to see what she sees and hoping it gives me some insight into how to keep this conversation from ending before it really begins.

I clear my throat, and she turns to me expectantly.

_Damn it_.

"Ahh… I'm sorry to hear about your dad." I say the first thing that comes to mind, which wouldn't be so bad, except I follow it with, "How did he die?"

Bella's eyes darken as she frowns slightly, glancing away.

_Shit_.

"I'm sorry," I say.

**Amends**

_God, now what? Please don't let her start crying..._

My eyes flicker around the area, trying to come up with some way to fix my stupidity. Finding no real inspiration, I clear my throat again – a nervous habit I really wish I didn't have right now, as she looks at me again – and take a deep breath. "Bella, I'm sorry. F-forget I asked. It's none of my business, really."

She tilts her head as I ramble on.

"Please, let me make it up to you? I-I..."

My eye falls on the coffee shop down the street. "Coffee!" I blurt out.

**Coffee**

Bella doesn't say very much after agreeing to go with me. We stand side-by-side in silence as we wait for our turn to order. As I frantically try to think of _something_ to talk about, I wonder if it wouldn't have been better if I'd never met her.

But then I look down at her.

Her bottom lip is caught between her teeth, her brow is furrowed, and I want so badly to know what she's thinking.

When we finally have our drinks in hand, I lead her to a small table in the corner and sit across from her.

**Begin**

We both sip our drinks in silence, and again I wonder if I should've left well enough alone.

Bella lowers her cup, holding it between her hands as she stares at it. Her voice is quiet, wavering on occasion as she explains that her father was the Chief of Police in Forks, Washington, and that he was gunned down by a drunk tourist with a chip on his shoulder.

"He died on the scene. I didn't even hear about it until after the funeral," she whispers.

Before I can stop myself, I reach out and place my hand over hers.

**Comfort**

I start to pull my hand back quickly, stammering, "I-I'm sorry…" but she turns her hand over, catching my fingertips.

When her eyes meet mine, she gives a quiet, sad smile. "Please?" she says simply.

I nod, relaxing slightly as I squeeze her hand. "Of course."

Watching her for a moment, I try to work out what to say. "I'm so sorry about your father, Bella." It's simple and doesn't say everything, but it says what I mean.

"Thank you," she murmurs quietly. "I haven't told anyone about that…"

Frowning, I run my thumb over the back of her hand.

**New**

She gives me a wan smile, running her fingers through her hair with her free hand. She glances away briefly then looks at me again. "I haven't been in Chicago very long, really. Only moved here a few weeks ago for my job. Not much of a choice," she mutters.

She sighs and adds, "Every day, I go to work, then come here over lunch, then go to work again, and then straight home. I just haven't been up for getting out there, you know? And this," she tilts her head toward the mural, "let's me feel closer to Charlie."

**Change**

Asking about her father feels too personal, so I try a safer question. "How are you here now, then?"

She blushes and glances down. "Oh. I… ahh…" Exhaling heavily, she looks up at me with embarrassment. "Please don't laugh?"

"Of course not."

"Charlie… god, this is harder to say than I thought… he didn't have much of a life. Just work, sleep, and sometimes fishing. That's it. And I… I'm too much like him. So I took today off, determined to just _do_ something. And where do I end up?" She scoffs, shaking her head. "At the mural. Alone. Again."

**Amused**

Grinning, I squeeze her hand to catch her attention. "No you didn't. You ended up here, having coffee with me," I say gently.

She smiles, her shoulders lifting slightly at the thought. After a minute, she nods. "You're right. I did; didn't I?"

"Yes, yes… you did." I glance at the clock and decide to go for broke. Taking a deep breath, I ask, "And if you're up for it, maybe you can have dinner with me, too? My treat."

Her lips twitch even as she narrows her eyes and tilts her head. "Hmm, suppose that'd be the sensible thing..."

**Tease**

"But I don't know if I should."

My smile fades at her words. "Oh, okay." Taking a pull from my coffee, I try to hide my disappointment. It isn't until I feel the stab of rejection that I realize that I'd _thought_ things were going well between us.

"You might be some crazy stalker or something."

I look up quickly, my mouth dropping open as I struggle for words. She's watching me with a tiny smile that matches the mischievous gleam in her eyes.

When I frown at her, she laughs softly. "I'm sorry… I couldn't resist. I'd love to."

**Plan**

The relieved sigh that escapes me has Bella laughing and reaching for my hand again. "So where are you taking me, then?"

We go back and forth for a few minutes before settling on Indian. Finishing our coffees, we get up and toss our empty cups away.

I hold the door open for her, earning me a warm smile as she passes. When I catch up with her, she takes my hand in hers, entwining our fingers. "Thank you, Edward, for reaching out to me."

Emboldened by her actions, I raise her hand to my lips, smiling. "My pleasure, Bella."


	34. Offsides

**A/N: **Happy Birthday, _**BeCullen**_! We hope you have a wonderful day.

As ever, we do not own Twilight - it owns us.

**ooOoo**

**Tired**

Having worked a double shift, there's nothing I'd like to do more than to go to bed. Unfortunately, Emmett has other plans and is ready for me as I step through the door.

I grimace at the sports gear on the dining room table. "Em... no, please, baby," I try.

No luck.

Emmett kisses me briefly before smacking my ass and directing me to the shower. "Shower, change, and I'll have coffee waiting for you, old man."

I scowl at him, muttering, "I'm only two fucking months older than you, asshole. Don't 'old man', me."

He just laughs. "Hurry up!"

**Park**

Freshly showered, I throw on a pair of basketball shorts and a tank top. I glance at myself in the mirror and roll my eyes. I look like a fucking idiot.

The whole way to the park, I sulk. I know it – I can admit it.

Emmett hums and tries to get me to talk, squeezing my knee when he stops at a light.

It doesn't work.

I ignore him, drinking the coffee – and generous splash of amaretto – he poured into my travel mug.

When we pull into a parking space, he kills the engine, turning to look at me.

**Coax**

I frown, eyeing him warily. "What?" I grouch.

He rolls his eyes, leaning over to kiss me. His hand travels up my thigh with firm determination until he reaches the hem of my shorts.

I pull back. "Emmett!" I warn.

He ignores me, inching his fingers higher and higher, sweeping them back and forth. I shiver in spite of myself.

My cock stirs to life as he knew it would, and I glare at him with full force when he wraps his warm fingers around it.

"Emmett... either finish what you started, or keep your hands to yourself," I hiss.

**Tempt**

"Come on, baby…" he murmurs, kissing my neck and stroking me through the silky material of my shorts.

Despite the fact that I know what he's doing – and why – I can't resist. I moan softly, rocking my hips up into his hand.

"I know you've had a hard day," he whispers, squeezing me. His tongue trails up my neck before he bites my ear, making me squirm. "Let's relax a little while… I know you'll have fun. Then when we get home…"

He disappears, and I feel a cool breeze on my cock before his lips wrap around the head.

**Snap**

"Sweet _Jesus!_" I cry, my hips bucking.

Emmett's unfazed, taking me further into his mouth with a hum.

I whimper, closing my eyes, balling my hands into fists to keep from placing them on his head and forcing him to finish. I'm all too aware of where we are, though.

Not that it'd stop him, but I'd never _make_ him do it.

All good intentions fly out the window when he deep-throats me twice.

"Good fucking _God_, Emmett. For the love of _all _that is holy, _please!_"I croak.

His chuckle reverberates through my cock.

"Oh fuck... please..." I whimper.

**Come**

He's relentless, sucking and lapping at my cock as he gives the messiest, sexiest blow job he's ever given. His fingertips dig into my thigh as his other hand strokes my base, making my toes curl.

When he knows I'm close, he hums again, pressing his knuckle against the sweet spot behind my balls. I cry out, all thoughts of where we are and who might be around utterly fucking forgotten as he swallows me greedily.

"Mmm…" he murmurs as he pulls away, licking my slit.

He sits up, a shit-eating grin on his face.

"Asshole," I mutter breathlessly, grinning.

**Recover**

I try to get my breathing under control, my eyes on Emmett as he watches me. He runs his fingers through my hair, smiling gently as he murmurs, "Sorry, babe. I didn't want you to have to be uncomfortable sporting a tent around the guys."

I snort. "Thanks."

He grins, as undeterred as ever. "You're welcome." Growing serious, he cups my cheek and adds, "If you're really not up for hanging out with the guys, we can go home, if you want?"

Covering his hand with mine, I smile. I know he's worried I'll end up a recluse or something.

**Promise**

Sighing, I say, "Nah, it's fine. Sorry I was an ass."

"It's okay. I like your ass." I laugh, and he beams. "There… that's what I was waiting for."

"You're a little kid, you know that?" I tease.

"Always and forever." He smirks. "Guess we should head out there. We're already… ahh… a little late."

"And the guys will know exactly _why_ we're late," I mutter.

"Well, not exactly. Not 'til I tell 'em anyway…"

"Emmett!" I groan.

He leans in, whispering, "Don't worry… I won't tell them you're going to fuck me tonight."

"I am?"

"Oh, yeah. Hard. Promise?"

**Agree**

I grin wickedly. "Better believe it. After this stunt, I think you deserve a little punishment."

Emmett groans quietly, palming his own cock in response to my words. Winking, I hop out of the car and go to the trunk to get our bag. When I close it again, he's pressed up behind me, wrapping his arms around me and kissing my neck.

"You always know just what buttons to push, don't you?" he says huskily.

I chuckle. "So do you," I remind him.

He takes the bag from me, grabs my hand, and we set off onto the field.

**Blunt**

When we get to the sidelines, the guys are already there, throwing a ball around.

"Fuck, Emmett, what took you so long?" Jake complains.

"Hey, my man's demanding. I had to blow him in the parking lot to get him to come play."

Jake rolls his eyes, snorting, "Yeah, right. You wish." He winks at me and tosses the ball to Emmett. "You're on my team, Ed."

He trots off while I stand gaping at Emmett, who laughs, pulling me close. "They never believe the truth," he whispers, kissing my temple.

Shaking my head in disbelief, I join my team.

**Forward**

We play for a couple of hours. Emmett makes sure to sack me a few times, groping me whenever possible, much to the delight of our friends, who find it hilarious.

The last time he does it, I growl in his ear after he helps me up. "_You_ are in _so_ much trouble when we get home. I'm going to fuck you to within an inch of your life."

Emmett grins, pulling me close to kiss me hard. "Edward, you say the _sweetest_ things," he teases, waggling his eyebrows as he adds, "Awesome, gives me something to look forward to."

**Relentless**

After that, he's incorrigible. He smacks my ass between plays, squeezing before letting go. I try to be mad at him, but his damn dimples and curls and the way he looks at me make it impossible.

_Fucker_.

I find myself smiling and laughing with him, giving him just as much shit as he's giving me.

By the time we head for the car, I'm as pent-up as he is. Taking a cue from him, I slip my hand into the back of his shorts, palming his bare ass. "This is mine as soon as we get home," I whisper.

**Anticipation**

He wiggles his ass, giving a low moan when I shift so my body's shielding his crotch from view. I slip my hand down his front and squeeze his cock. Hard.

"Fuck, Ed!" he half-moans, half-hisses.

Satisfied that I've paid him back just a little for hours of torture, I grin. "That's the idea; isn't it? For me to fuck you? Get your ass into the car. We're going home. Now," I growl.

I've seldom seen him move so fast or break so many speed limits on the drive home. Neither of us speaks, but anticipation's heavy in the air.

**Open**

He's on me the second we step in the door, yanking my shirt off and shoving my shorts down. When he palms my dick, I break our kiss, pushing him away with a playful grin.

"Uh uh. My turn, remember?"

He whimpers, pouting as he puts my hand over his throbbing cock. His eyes roll back as he rubs our hands up and down his length, and I give him a few seconds before stopping.

"Bedroom, Emmett," I command.

He turns on his heel, racing down the hall, and I follow, chuckling.

_It's going to be a damn good night_.


	35. DTF

**A/N: **Happy Birthday,_**Lisakbye**_! We hope you have a fantastic day.

As ever, we do not own Twilight - it owns us.

P.S. for those that don't know, DTF stands for Down to Fuck.

**ooOoo**

**Lack**

His lips are warm and soft, his body pressing insistently against mine as we move on the dance floor. There's something missing – I know it.

I just don't care.

His hands grip my hips as we move as one, our bodies inspired by the beat beneath the flashing club lights. I feel rather than hear his hum as he pulls away, grinning at me.

"You're so fucking hot," he murmurs just loud enough for me to hear.

Internally, I roll my eyes at his clumsy attempt at seduction. Lucky for him, it doesn't really matter – I'm looking for some fun.

**Rhythm**

"What's your name?" he asks as he grinds against me.

I haven't bothered with pleasantries. I'm not interested, and I tell him so. He just shrugs and says, "I'm Mike." He leans in to speak into my ear. "So you know whose name to cry out when I make you come."

Managing to stifle the urge to gag at the cliché, I simply nod, refusing to give him the pleasure of returning the favor.

Like I said: I'm not interested in any pleasantries. I just want to dance, get drunk, and get laid. Or at the very least sucked off.

**Direct**

He's a good dancer with a decent body, but when he trails his hands down, grabbing my ass, I feel a flash of revulsion.

I don't _want_ to feel that shit. Not tonight.

I've tried this the right way – first dates and flowers, phone calls and talking all night. All that got me was a broken heart. Several times.

_Fuck that shit._

There are no princes, so I'll take this frog and fuck him so hard, he won't be able to walk tomorrow.

But first – alcohol.

"Let me take you home, sexy," he says.

"Buy me a drink," I counter.

**Stir**

My gaze is on the floor, watching bodies writhe and sway to the beat while Mike orders our drinks. As we wait, Mike again tries – and fails – to flirt. His suggestive touches leave me shivering, and not in a good way. The closer he gets, the more uncomfortable I start to feel. I curse myself for it.

_Get with it, Cullen. _This_ is how it has to be._

"One beer and one Bend Me Over."

The voice is smooth, warm, and inviting. I turn automatically to it. My breath catches as I meet crinkling gray eyes.

I forget my name.

**Linger**

"What about you, gorgeous? Can I get you anything?" Gray eyes dance as he gives me a once-over.

"I got him," Mike answers possessively, shoving my beer into my hand.

"Too bad," he answers, winking at me as he turns to serve another customer.

I take a long pull from my beer, not bothering to thank Mike, who immediately starts rambling. I feel his fingers walking up my arm and playing with the hair at the nape of my neck, but I don't pay any attention. My gaze constantly wanders to the bartender as I wonder what _his_ name is.

**Annoyed**

I'm vaguely aware of Mike pseudo-seductively talking in my ear, suggesting we go to his place, promising various things I no longer have any interest in whatsoever.

At least, not with him.

When I don't respond, he gives my shoulder a shove. "Dude, what the fuck is your _problem?"_

Scowling, I eye Mike up and down once before looking straight at him. "At the moment, you are. Fuck off, Mike. Go bother someone else."

Mike starts cursing me out, but I ignore him and walk away.

Downing my beer, I wonder what the fuck I'm doing.

_I could've had him._

**Sulk**

I stare down at my empty bottle, unsure what to do with myself. When I peer out over the dance floor, I can see that Mike has bounced back quickly. He's grinding on some dark-skinned twink, and I shake my head, rolling my eyes at the irony.

He was giving me the hard-sell, but now _I'm_ the one alone.

More alcohol's in order.

I find myself back at the bar, where the blond is nowhere in sight. He's been replaced by a muscular guy, who wanders over and gives me a wink. "What'll ya have, sugar?"

"Two shots of tequila."

**Warm**

I shiver, both from the suddenness of his voice so close and from his warm breath as it caresses my neck and cheek.

Turning my head slightly, I see my blond bartender grin as he presses his body against me. "I see your friend's no longer with you."

All I can do is shake my head.

He grabs both shots, handing one to me and grinning widely. "Bottoms up."

He winks, downing his drink. I stare, mesmerized by the way his Adam's apple moves.

I only move when he puts his glass down and quirks a challenging eyebrow at me.

**Dazzled**

I can't take my eyes off him, even when I tilt my head back and down my drink. I feel his hand burning against my thigh as the alcohol sears my throat.

When I slam the shot glass to the bar, I immediately feel my buzz pleasantly renewed. I just have time to smile before the blond's lips are on mine, bringing the taste of lime. I moan softly, lacing my fingers through his hair as I pull him closer.

He licks his lips when we part and then smirks. "I'm Jasper."

I let my eyes roam his body. "Edward."

**Invitation**

"Dance?" Jasper asks, tilting his head to the floor.

I nod. He grabs my hand and leads me through the throng of bodies before pulling me to him so my back's against his chest. His hands clamp down on my hips, guiding us both.

Raising my arms, I wrap them around his neck as best I can and lean into him. The way he's moving has me hardening to the point of pain, my pants far too tight to be comfortable anymore.

All I can think is that I want more – and I'm ready to beg if I have to.

**Surprised**

My reaction catches me off guard. It's so visceral, so primal – so unlike me. Instead of trying to force something the way I had with Mike, I'm working to calm myself down.

My efforts nearly go to waste when I feel Jasper's hot, firm lips traveling along my neck. His right hand roams my chest, dipping dangerously low before trailing to my neck and back again. His hips rock against my ass with the beat of the song, and I feel ready to crawl out of my skin.

"God, Edward… can you feel what you're doing to me?" he murmurs.

**Tease**

He presses his hard-on into my ass, holding me in place to emphasize his words. I moan, speechless.

When he lets go, his hands immediately return to trailing over my stomach, chest, and neck. Each circuit, he dips a little lower until, finally, he's palming my crotch before moving away again.

My legs tremble. I need so much more. I turn my face to his, ready to beg, only to have my words swallowed by his lips as he kisses me hard.

_Sweet _Jesus_ what's this guy _doing_ to me?_

I came here looking for just a quick fuck, but...

**Beg**

Jasper breaks our kiss, turning me around and yanking my body to his. Our hips meet as he reaches down, squeezing my ass. His forehead is pressed against mine when he murmurs, "Fuck, Edward. Tell me to go to hell if you want, but I want you. Now. Let me take you to my place? Please?"

My tongue cleaves to the roof of my mouth as I hear my words coming through his pouty lips. I don't take the time to explain that I want it, too. I just grab his ass and kiss him relentlessly until we're both breathless.

**Flight**

When we finally have to come up for air, Jasper grabs my hand and starts weaving his way through the crowd toward the bar. Grabbing his leather jacket, he grins over his shoulder at me before heading to the exit, picking my jacket up along the way.

He takes me around the side of the club, stopping in front of a Harley. Zipping up his coat, he quirks a brow. "Up for a ride?"

I grin. "Hell, yes."

His eyes roam my body hungrily. Opening up one of the saddle bags, he grabs a helmet and hands it to me.

**Drive**

Jasper's hands are sure are he navigates the streets, leaning easily into the curves. His confidence makes it easy to ride with him, but I take the opportunity to press as close as I can. The vibrations of the bike just heighten the arousal I already feel, and I give an impatient groan as I wonder how much further it is to his place.

Just when I think I can't take it anymore, he pulls into a neighborhood, surprising me when he stops in front of a house.

We pull off our helmets, and Jasper says simply, "This is me."

**Garage**

His eyes blaze before he opens the garage. I'm two steps behind as he pushes his bike inside, and one look from him stops me in my tracks.

I watch in silent anticipation as Jasper closes the garage door again. Before I can blink, he's on me, pinning me against the worktable and kissing me hard.

Groaning, I drop my helmet onto the surface before latching my fingers into his hair. The way he presses his body into mine has me wishing we were naked already.

I feel like I could spontaneously combust when he pulls away, gasping, "Can't wait."

**Need**

He starts to take my hand – presumably to lead me into the house – but I can't wait either. I pop the button on his jeans and drop to my knees, yanking his pants down. He sucks in a breath and cries, "Oh, _fuck_!" when my hot mouth teases his cock through his briefs.

My worries and annoyance and loneliness are distant memories. I don't think about how reckless this is or that I don't know more than his name.

I just want _him_.

Freeing him from the constricting fabric, I lick along the thick vein running up his beautiful cock.

**Buck**

Pumping him slowly, I go lower and inhale deeply, relishing the strong scent that's Jasper's. Taking his balls into my mouth, I gently roll them over my tongue, teasing him.

He moans, his fingers finding purchase in my hair. "Fuck, that feels good..."

I hum.

"Jesus, shit! Edward..."

His thighs tremble as I move to take his length into my mouth instead. His flavor's unique. I want more.

Setting a fast pace, I relax my throat. His response is instant as his hips drive forward jerkily.

I work hard to get him close, but stop shy of letting him come.

**Pace**

Jasper throws back his head, clenching his fists as he half-whimpers, half-groans. I give him a minute to find control, and he inhales deeply before looking at me again.

He hooks my belt loop, yanking me toward him and kissing me furiously. When we part, I reach into my pocket and pull out a condom, pressing it into his hand.

His eyes widen briefly before his lips curve into a wicked smile. "Sure you don't wanna go inside?"

I wrap my hand around his shaft, squeezing as my lips stop a hair's breadth from his. "Fuck me, Jasper. Here. _Now_."

**Command**

"Lube?" he asks, quirking a brow as if to make absolutely sure.

With a grin, I dig into my pocket again and hand him the small travel packet. He groans appreciatively, kissing me hard before growling, "Clothes. Off. Now."

I shiver, rushing to do as he says. My eyes are on him while he sheds his clothes, too, dropping them where they fall.

He's already stroking his length by the time I'm undressed, giving me a very mischievous look that's got me quivering in anticipation.

He leans forward to whisper in my ear, "Hands on the bike and… Don't. Move."

**Treat**

My feet are spread and my ass in the air as I lean against his bike, still warm from our ride. I feel myself smirk at the thought of the very different sort of ride I'm about to get.

I'm braced and so ready for it that I gasp in shock when Jasper's hot tongue slides along my balls. My knees buckle, making me hold on to stay upright, as he takes each of them in his mouth, licking and sucking. "Holy fuck," I breathe.

He chuckles lowly, and I feel his forearm brushing my calf as he strokes himself.

**Edge**

Jasper's tongue trails up teasingly until he hits where I need him the most. He spreads my ass-cheeks wide, licking and probing me until I'm a babbling mess of pleas and moans. I can't even _remember_ the last time someone rimmed me, but _fuck _if it doesn't feel like exquisite torture.

Just when I'm so pent up I want to cry in frustration, he pulls away. The _snap _of the lube top breaking off focuses my attention acutely on what's about to happen.

I moan low and long when he _finally_ pushes a finger into me, followed quickly by another.

**Fuck**

Jasper yanks me up, pressing my back to his chest as he bites my neck. "Hope you're ready," he murmurs.

I rub my ass against his cock, reaching back to grab his hip. "Fuck me. _Please_."

"Whatever you say," Jasper teases.

He steps back, his hands on my hips to position me. I feel the light pressure of his tip against my entrance and then an exquisite sting when he takes me in one long thrust.

"Oh my fucking _god_!" I cry, dropping my forehead to my forearm.

He reaches around, squeezing my cock and stroking with his hips' rhythm.

**Slap**

All I register is the slapping of our skin as his hips snap into mine, low oaths and murmurs of appreciation coming from Jasper – how good I feel, how sexy I am. How badly he wants me.

Then he stops, holding me in place as he breathes raggedly in my ear before pulling out of me, "I want that ride now, Edward. Get on the fucking bike."

He lets me go and straddles his bike. Scrambling, I follow, my heart thudding in my chest as I settle in front of him.

We both moan as he guides me onto him.

**Ride**

Jasper's strong arms wrap around my waist, steadying me and guiding my rhythm as I bounce on his cock. The shocks from the bike provide even more spring, and each thrust sends a jolt of electricity coursing down my spine.

His cock is thick, stretching me to the point of pain – pain that I relish. He makes me feel alive, feral, and I growl as I throw back my head, my nails scratching across his shoulder blades.

He hisses and leans forward, biting my nipple and teasing it with his tongue. The bike rocks dangerously, but I pay no attention.

**Explode**

"Oh fuck, Jas-Jasper!" I cry as he bites down on my other nipple.

Scrunching my eyes closed, I try to hold on, to not let this end yet, but I'm _so _close. Everything around me falls away as I try to both stave off and chase my release.

The only thing filtering through my haze is Jasper's encouragement and oaths as he begins to move more erratically, just like me.

"Please, Edward... fuck, baby, I need you... need you to come," he growls.

"Oh god oh god oh god."

Jasper's hand wraps around my shaft, pumping thrice before I explode.

**Follow**

I try to keep going – really, I do. But my entire body feels like fucking jelly, and straddling the bike that way, I can barely even hold on.

Jasper whimpers and, with a surge of strength, lifts me, setting me down on the seat just in front of him. I watch as he rips the condom off and begins stroking his cock furiously, squeezing and twisting and moaning.

In seconds, he spasms, and we both curse as he comes all over my abdomen. I fist his hair and pull him to me, kissing him hard. "So fucking _hot_…" I breathe.

**Down**

He kisses me just as hard, pulling back to press his forehead against mine. He chuckles lowly and gazes down at the mess we made. "Err... sorry about that... I didn't mean to come all over-"

"Fuck no," I interrupt with a grin. "Hot as hell seeing you like that... I liked it."

His eyes lift to mine as he quirks a brow, a grin of his own forming on his lips. "Hope you'll enjoy it even more when I clean you up." He bites my lip, adding in a hoarse whisper, "So I can get you all dirty again."

**Unexpected**

"Again?" I ask, raising both eyebrows.

"Hell, yeah," Jasper murmurs, kissing my neck. "Stay?"

It's on the tip of my tongue to say _yes_, but when I open my mouth, I say, "I…"

Jasper sits up to look at me, all teasing gone. "You okay?"

I nod, frowning slightly as I try to remember what I was looking for tonight – a quick fuck. That's it.

Only… now that I've had it, I want more.

Jasper mistakes my hesitance and says, "Hey, it's cool." He gives a small smile, but I can see disappointment in his eyes. "You didn't promise anything."

**Correct**

Cupping his cheeks, I shake my head vigorously, my eyes locked with his. "No, no, it's not that at all... Fuck..."

Taking a deep breath, I decide to go for broke. "I went to the club tonight looking for a one-time hook-up. I needed... something. I've tried so many times doing things the right way and always end up hurt. I figured... change of pace... or something. I dunno..."

I frown, lowering my gaze and blushing as I admit, "I wasn't expecting to want more tonight. To find... you."

My thumbs trace his cheekbones as I meet his eyes again.

**Bemused**

"So… you're afraid if you do things the right way… dinner, movies, wine and dine, whatever… you'll end up hurt? Right?" he asks with quiet amusement.

I frown at him and nod curtly, annoyed that he seems to be making light of what was very hard for me to admit.

"Well, you're in good shape then."

I don't respond other than raising an eyebrow.

He leans forward, capturing my bottom lip between his teeth before letting go and murmuring, "I have _never_ heard of the 'right way' starting with going home with a bartender and fucking on his motorcycle. Ever."

**Admit**

At that, I chuckle. "You have a point, there, I grant you."

He hums, kissing me deeply. When he pulls away, he looks playful and hopeful. "Think it's also safe to say that it isn't 'normal' to watch a movie and share a take-out dinner after a one-night stand. What do you say?"

Slipping my arms around his neck, I grin. "I think I can handle that."

I shiver as a draft suddenly plays along my rapidly cooling body. Jasper pats my thigh and murmurs, "Let's get you inside, cleaned up, and fueled up. You're gonna need it."

He winks.

**Clean**

When I step out of the hot shower, I find a pair of lounge pants, boxers and a t-shirt folded neatly beside a towel. Drying myself off, I can't help but think about how different this night has turned out.

Jasper is a mystery – passion and recklessness and teasing that's somehow mixed with a surprising amount of caring and concern. It, like everything else I've seen of him, is a major turn-on.

Dressed warmly in his clothes, I step into the hallway and call, "Jasper?"

"I'm in here," comes the answering voice from down the hall and to the left.

**Cozy**

My eyes widen when I step into what turns out to be his living room. He's dimmed the lights and lit a few candles, as well as the fireplace. There's a bottle of wine opened and waiting on the coffee table beside two glasses. To the right, his phone is sitting on top of a stack of take-out menus.

When I look around, I find Jasper crouched by a cabinet full of DVD's, searching for something.

"Come on in," he says without looking up. "Make yourself at home. Pick out whatever you want so we can call in the order."

**Speechless**

"Wow…" The word escapes me without permission, and Jasper looks up with a grin.

"What?" he says.

I shake my head, gesturing around to the entire room. "Just…" I trail off, chuckling lightly.

He abandons the DVDs, walking over to put his hands on my hips. He kisses me gently and says, "Just because I fucked you before I knew your last name doesn't mean I'm a total asshole."

I smirk, rolling my eyes. "I know. I'm not either. I was on the motorcycle, too… remember?"

"Oh, yeah…"

"And it's Cullen," I add.

He smiles. "Whitlock. Nice to meet you."

**Like**

After we've ordered a pizza – a meatlover's, much to his amusement – we settle down on the couch, talking and sipping our wine.

Jasper surprises me at every turn as he tells me about his favorite hobbies – woodworking, pottery, and gardening.

The latter is a love I share, and for a while, we discuss our mutual pastime.

He's easy to talk to, able to hold his own in a conversation, and the more I learn of him, the more I like.

Throughout our conversation, we're constantly touching, almost as if we need the physical connection to make sure this is real.

**Late**

Well after the pizza has been demolished and the bottle of wine drained, Jasper stretches his arms over his head with a yawn.

Dropping his arms to his sides, he looks at me apologetically. "Not the company, I promise."

I laugh. "Yeah, I'm pretty beat, too."

He leans over and kisses me, murmuring against my lips, "So, Edward, what's the 'right' thing to do here?"

I hmm and kiss him before answering, "Tell you I had a great time, and I really hope to see you again soon. Then call a cab and go home."

"So the opposite would be..."

**Opposite**

Instead of answering, I weave my fingers through his hair as I pull him in for another kiss – hard and needy this time. Climbing onto his lap, I hum when his arms surround me, moan with him when I roll my hips into his.

Jasper's head drops to the back of the couch as he groans, "Sweet jesus, Ed, baby..."

His questioning eyes burn into mine.

"The opposite would be to stay, so we can sleep, and then fuck each other senseless in the morning."

Rolling my hips again, I add, "And maybe a few times between now and then."

**Prospect**

He pulls away long enough to whisper, "So glad you decided to blow off that douche at the bar."

I laugh and agree, adding, "Glad you decided to buy me a shot."

He smiles and grasps my hips. "Come on, baby... let me take you to bed."

As one, we stand and walk to his room, our hands roaming. As "wrong" as this is, I'm amazed at how right it feels. For once, I'm not stressed and worried, trying to make this work or wondering what could go wrong.

I'm just in the moment with Jasper, content, excited... and hopeful.


	36. Dazed and Confused

**A/N: **Happy Birthday,_** TuesdayMidnight**_! We couldn't let your birthday pass without giving you some boy-love. Hope you enjoy these two. Have a fantastic day, sweets.

As ever, we do not own Twilight - it owns us.

**ooOoo**

**Drag**

Taking a pull from the joint, I close my eyes and pass it blindly to my right. Jasper takes it, and I listen to him inhale as a pleasant weightlessness spreads through my body.

I lean back against the post and let my arms drift up, giggling at the sensation.

Everything's quiet for a minute before Jasper says, "That's some good shit."

I giggle again, opening my eyes to look over at him.

"Wannanother beer?" he asks.

I look up as the words play in my head, reordering themselves into nonsense. "Yeah," I finally say.

Seems like a good answer.

**Show**

He walks back and hands me a bottle. Even as his ass hits the couch, he practically jumps back up again, saying, "Hey man, wanna see the porn I found? It's Rose's... thought she was sooooooo clever, hiding it in her closet."

Jasper giggles, nearly doubling over in his delight at his discovery.

I watch him, grinning.

_Porn. Porn sounds good._

I'm pretty sure that whatever Rosalie Hale buys will be ten times better in quality than what I can find online for free. The girl has high standards in _everything_, so I presume it will be no less here.

**Blank**

Standing in Rosalie's room is surreal. When we were in middle school, my first fantasies were of her, and I feel myself hardening, just remembering those daydreams and thinking about her watching porn.

I'm not attracted to her anymore. She's a royal bitch.

Back then, though, all it took was tits in a bikini.

"Here they are!" Jasper calls from inside her closet. He emerges with several blank DVD cases. He holds them out in front of him, staring at them blankly before he shrugs and tosses all but one back inside. "Come on, fucker," he says, hitting my shoulder.

**Flop**

We fall onto his bed, and he pulls his laptop over, putting it between us. Starting the disc, we both scoot to sit against the headboard, our eyes fixated on the screen.

Within seconds, images of two naked men and a girl appear. Moans, whimpers, and the smack of flesh being hit by hands fill the air.

I grow painfully hard as I watch how one guy's going down on her... while being sucked off by the other man.

"Jesus..." Jasper breathes.

My eyes flicker to him, almost bulging out of my head when I see him palming his hard-on.

**Fix**

I can't tear my eyes away from the sight of him rubbing his crotch rhythmically. Without even thinking about it, I lower my zipper and pull my cock free, groaning at the immediate sense of relief.

Jasper glances over at me, his eyes widening as they focus on my hand wrapped around my shaft. He turns his gaze back to the screen as he lifts his hips, sliding his shorts down.

_Holy shit_.

I've never entertained the thought of being with another guy before, but watching him jack off is…

_Fucking hell._

My hand speeds as my eyes drift closed.

**Slick**

The sounds change, and I open my eyes just in time to see the first guy inside the girl, holding still as the second guy enters him.

"Oh _fuck_," I breathe, then spit into my hands before continuing to rub one off.

Never in my life have I watched something like this. It had never occurred to me that it would be pleasurable, but from the sounds coming from those guys...

The _snap_ of a bottle opening focuses my attention back to Jasper. My jaw drops as I see him squirt lube onto his palm, then offer me the bottle.

**Enthralled**

I'm in sensory overload, my eyes flickering from the screen to Jasper to my own cock. Gradually, they settle on him, and I watch in fascination as his swollen, purple head disappears and reappears again and again. He throws his head back, pressing it against the headboard, and I watch the tendons in his neck strain.

I feel an overwhelming urge to lick them, to taste his skin – so I do.

Jasper gasps, his head snapping up as he looks at me, wild-eyed. An apology is on the tip of my tongue, but before I can say anything, he attacks.

**Weight**

Our lips crash together as he pins me down under him; the pure shock of his action makes it impossible for me to move.

I find I don't want to. At least, not away from him.

My hands fly to his hair, gripping tightly as I kiss him back. The novelty of the abrasion of his stubble and the ferocity of the kiss make me even harder than I already was.

Jasper whimpers, bucking his hips to mine. I pull away, cursing, my eyes rolling back into my head at the exquisite sensation of his bare cock sliding against mine.

**New**

Jasper's lips cover my neck, nipping and sucking before I feel his teeth. The sting makes me grab his ass, pulling him closer as I rock my hips against his wildly. I don't know what the hell I'm trying to say, but something breathless and needy is coming out of me.

He pushes himself up, his lips finding mine again as he reaches between us. When he wraps his hand around both our cocks, I nearly explode. The feel of his soft flesh and hard shaft moving against mine is addictive, and I try to concentrate, wanting it to last.

**Pant**

Breathing becomes more and more difficult as Jasper jerks our cocks. The foreign sensation of his silken heat against mine is beyond anything I've _ever_encountered.

My mind's completely shut down, but my mouth is still running, muttering breathless nonsense and pleas for more.

Jasper's curses and moans and assurances he feels the same – _so fucking _good!_ – _push me closer and closer to the edge.

The sounds from his laptop filter through everything, adding another layer. When I hear one of the guys scream – the one in the middle, I'm sure – I lose it and come harder than ever before.

**Dazed**

I collapse onto the pillow, breathing heavily. Jasper pushes himself up, kneeling over me with one fist pressed into the mattress. His eyes are closed, his head hanging down, as he strokes himself impossibly fast.

He pumps his hips, fucking his hand, and I watch in disbelief, amazed and fascinated. "Oh god… oh god… oh… _fuck_!" he cries.

Hot streams of semen spurt out over my abdomen, coating my shirt along with my own. I vaguely wonder if I should be bothered by all of this, but all I feel is… good.

Damn good.

Jasper opens his eyes, smiling lazily.

**Uncertain**

We both blink hazily at each other, breathing heavily and trying to get our heartbeats under control.

As my body settles down, my mind clicks into gear, and I frown.

_What just happened? What the hell does it _mean_?_

Moans and screams of pleasure continue pouring from his laptop, and I don't feel so good anymore. I close my eyes.

In fact, I suddenly feel very sober and downright scared of what Jasper might think of me. My stomach roils as I wait for his accusations.

The bed shifts as Jasper moves away, all sound ceasing, leaving the air heavy.

**Sick**

My stomach lurches, threatening to spew the alcohol and God knows what else. I feel like my eyelids are fluttering and the world spinning as lights flicker. I wonder if that's bad.

I force my eyes to open as I sit up, and I barely have time to lean over the side of the bed before I puke. My hands shake as everything I've poured in my stomach comes rushing out.

By the time I'm reduced to dry heaves, I realize that I still haven't heard a sound from Jasper. I wipe my mouth on the back of my hand.

**Stare**

Slowly, I sit back up to look over to where I expect him to be, frowning when he's not there.

"Here."

I jump when I feel the tap of a cold water bottle against my arm and look around to see Jasper watching me with concern. Swallowing past the lump in my throat, I nod and mumble, "Thanks." I grab the bottle, open it, and greedily guzzle down its contents.

Jasper sits down next to me – silent. Watchful.

Once I'm done, I put the top back on, carefully placing the empty bottle on his nightstand before I look at Jasper.

**Question**

"Are we gay?" The question pops out of my mouth, and my eyes bulge.

_Why the _hell_ did I say that?_

If he wasn't thinking along those lines, I sure as hell don't want to bring it up.

Jasper smirks, and his lips stay twisted – in distaste, I think. "Because of… that? No. I think it takes a little more than that."

My head is pounding, driving out all thoughts, but he seems off. "Oh. Okay."

His answer seems reasonable but wrong somehow. I can't stop wondering how we ended up _here_ tonight.

We've never done anything like this before.

**Fuzzy**

Groaning, I hold my head in my hands and lean forward, trying to stop the pounding. I'm too aware of Jasper sitting next to me, stock-still. Watching.

I wonder what to make of that.

Both how he's acting, and that I _am_ so aware of him. The more I think about it, slow though my thoughts are, the more I feel something's off about him. I just can't think of _what._

Turning my head slightly, I glance at him, frowning. "You sure-"

He huffs, cutting me off brusquely. "Don't worry, Ed. One jerking-off session with _me _won't turn you gay."

**Twist**

I can't figure out why he's pissed, but it's clear that he is. He's sitting there with his arms crossed over his chest, staring at the ceiling. His jaw's clenched, and his right hand is fisted so hard his knuckles are white.

"I don't… wait. What?" I ask blankly. He doesn't look at me, so I try again. "We both did… that. What do you..?" I lose my train of thought, trying to catch something that I'm sure I'm missing.

He stares straight ahead, shaking his head in disbelief. "Nothing," he all but growls.

"Jazz, man… talk to me. Okay?"

**Stab**

He glares at me. I flinch.

Suddenly, he gets up, stomps to his dresser, and pulls out a shirt, throwing it at my head. "And button the fuck up already. Wouldn't want to _tempt_me, now would you?"

I blanch, automatically zipping up before changing into his shirt dumping mine on the floor. His words hurt and don't quite make sense even though I have the feeling they _should_.

Right now, I'd give anything to be able to think clearly, because I'm sure that if I could, all of this would make sense.

Then again, none of it would've happened.

**Dim**

I freeze in place, stunned as one thought hits me.

_I _wanted_ it to happen._

Swallowing hard, I try to ignore the way the room spins again. Whatever I'd been about to say flies out of my head, and I sit down on the edge of Jasper's bed hard. With my head in my hands, I tug at my hair.

_Why doesn't anything make sense?_

Then, just that quickly, something does.

I raise my head, dropping my hands. "Are you gay, Jasper?"

He barks a bitter laugh. "Get the fuck out."

Turning slowly on the bed, I look at him.

**Seethe**

I blink, stunned to see Jasper – red-faced, jaw clenched, fists balled, feet and shoulders squared. I've _never_ seen him _this _angry.

"Jasper?" I ask uncertainly.

"I said. Get. The. _Fuck_. Out!"

I try to do as he says, but I can't make my body work right. The very idea of leaving him like this, of not talking about what happened – what _is _happening – is an almost physical weight keeping me in place.

"But... I... Jazz... I didn't-"

I'm not sure what I'm trying to say. All I know is I need to do _something_ to fix... this. Whatever this is.

**Explode**

"You didn't what? You didn't mean to get half-naked? You didn't mean to jack off in front of me? You didn't _mean_ to let a fag kiss you and hump you and fucking come all over you?"

Jasper's words wash over me, finally providing that missing piece of the puzzle.

"I didn't know you were gay." My voice is quiet, but it cuts across his tirade. His jaw snaps shut as he jerks his head away, squeezing his eyes closed.

I half-expect him to launch into another attack, but he sighs, his shoulders drop, and he just looks so… _tired_.

**Deflate**

Jasper flops onto his bed, pulling his pillow from under his head and throwing it as hard as he can at his closet. It seems to be the only fight he has in him, since he puts his arms under his head and stares up at the ceiling.

I turn to face him, wanting to talk about this, but not having any idea where to even begin, so we sit in silence.

Jasper's hoarse voice startles me. "How could you _not_ know, Ed? Especially when-" he cuts off abruptly, his eyes darting to mine before focusing on the ceiling again.

**Explanation**

I lick my lips, unsure how to answer that. When he asks the question that way, it seems beyond stupid that I hadn't figured it out.

But I hadn't.

It's as simple as that.

I exhale heavily and move to sit at the foot of the bed, facing him. "I… don't know," I admit. "I just…"

When I don't continue, he asks the ceiling, "Then why the hell would you do… that… with me?"

"I don't know," I repeat. "I guess… I was just into it. I've never thought about a guy like that before, but… well, it's you, Jazz…"

**Derision**

He snorts, eyes cutting sharply to mine as he bites, "So… what? You thought, 'hey, those guys are fucking – why don't I give it a try with my best friend?' What the fuck, man?"

I flinch, blushing. It takes a few seconds for the shame I feel to turn into anger. "I don't know, alright? I've _never_ thought of a guy like that before. I've _never_ watched that kind of porn in my life. You _know _I've always been a tits 'n ass kind of guy."

This time, he flinches.

I sigh. "When I saw you... doing that… I just..."

**Compelled**

"I swear to God," he breaks in. "If you say 'I just' _one_ more time…"

"Sorry," I mutter, looking down at my hands. The haze of alcohol and weed is fading with time and the situation I find myself in, and I feel awkward. "I j-… umm, I mean... fuck, Jazz, I don't know what I mean. All I know is that all this is really new to me. You're suddenly gay and you just came all over my shirt and I…"

My cheeks flame, and I can't bring myself to say the words.

"You what?"

"I… kinda liked it."

**Admit**

Silence.

I want to look at him so bad, but I can't seem to lift my head to do so. My heart's beating in my chest as I wonder whether I'm gay, too, or if it's just Jasper, or… what.

My mind's reeling even as my body's trying to split in two.

One part wants to run out the door; the other wants to be with Jasper. To hold him. Be comforted by him.

"You... _liked _it?" he whispers, so low I almost miss it.

I nod, closing my eyes tightly.

The bed shifts again as silence falls once more.

**Touch**

I jump when I feel Jasper's hand on my arm. My eyes fly to him, and he drops his hand.

"Sorry," he mutters. "Look, Ed… I don't…" Sighing, he runs his fingers through his hair and meets my eye. "I'm sorry. About what happened, I mean. It was… I guess it was a really big fucking mistake. I thought you wanted…"

He breaks off suddenly, clearing his throat and looking away.

"Wanted what?" It seems the safest thing to say.

"Me," he answers in a small voice. He looks down, watching his fingers pick at a hole in his jeans.

**Confusion**

Shifting on the bed to face him, I clear my throat. I'm completely unsure of what's right, here, and feel like I'm stuck in a marshland where any step could end in quicksand.

My voice is soft, careful, as I whisper, "I don't know, Jazz. I honestly wasn't thinking about anything... I just-"

I cringe as his head shoots up with narrowed eyes. Holding up my hands in surrender, I continue, "Sorry, sorry... I don't know how else to fucking say this, okay? I went with it because it felt good. Being with you like that... felt good. Great, actually."

**Blush**

Jasper's face turns bright red, and it feels like my own cheeks are going to burst into flame. I turn away and squeeze my eyes shut.

_God, this isn't happening._

"Hey," Jasper's soft voice brings me out of my thoughts, disjointed and confused as they are. I open my eyes but don't look up. "Listen… I don't think we're going to figure this shit out tonight. I'm sorry I got pissed. Just… fuck, Ed. Just don't hate me, please?"

He sounds so small and hurt, but I can't touch him. I just nod, looking at the comforter.

"Please?" he whispers.

**Sleep**

"I don't hate you."

His sigh of relief is audible.

"So, err... I can sleep on the couch if you-'" he starts.

Shaking my head, I mumble, "No... 's okay, Jazz."

We both change into our pajamas with our backs turned to each other, then climb into bed, lying ramrod-straight and staring at the ceiling. As one, we turn on our sides, facing away from each other.

Closing my eyes, I try to sleep, but can't.

Turning carefully toward him, I find him already on his back, watching me. At the same time I say, "Jazz?" he opens his arms.

**Odd**

I can feel every bone, every muscle as his chest rises and falls with his breathing. His arms are stiff, as if he's unsure what to do, exactly.

I sigh, and my fingers caress his ribs. I don't know why.

He relaxes, his arms settling naturally around me as I shift closer. When I close my eyes this time, the fog from earlier descends again, exhaustion strengthening the alcohol and marijuana still in my system. The scent of Jasper calms me, and I begin to drift off.

"God, _please_, don't let him hate me," is the last whisper I hear.

**Early**

Much sooner than I'd like, I wake up to light streaming through the curtains. Confused, I lie completely still, trying to get my bearings and figure out exactly why I'm lying in Jasper's arms and why Jasper's face is practically nuzzled in my hair. Every breath he takes tickles my scalp.

Memories of the night before come rushing back, and I gasp, immediately gagging when the sickly-sweet, soured smell of my puke invades my senses.

Coughing, I jolt upright. Jasper wakes in near panic, wondering what's wrong. I can see in his face the second everything registers with him, too.

**Clean**

Jasper stares for a second before turning completely white. He swings his legs off the side of the bed and sits with his head in his hands while I watch helplessly.

I have _no_ idea what the fuck to do.

Grimacing at the god-awful taste in my mouth, I let my eyes scan the room, looking for some sort of clue. I find nothing.

Well, nothing except the disgusting mess on the floor and my discarded shirt, stiff with come. The sight of it makes me sick again.

Standing unsteadily, I head straight to the bathroom, ignoring my throbbing head.

**Clean**

Turning on the shower, I shed my clothes. I lean against the counter, my palms flat on the surface as I stare into the mirror, trying to see if I've changed.

I certainly _feel _different. Sort of.

Scrubbing my face vigorously, I huff and step under the hot spray, trying to wash away... everything.

The memories won't go, though, and my body reacts willingly when I think back on how Jasper looked and felt last night. How he tasted. Smelled.

Before I'm even aware of it, my shaft's in my hand. I'm already close to bursting again.

"Jasper," I moan.

**Shock**

Afterward, I clean myself mechanically. Between the headache and my own confusion, I just feel lost.

I exhale heavily and shut off the shower, running my fingers through my hair to get rid of the excess water. When I start to step out, I curse and yank the curtain back in place.

"Sorry!" Jasper says, panicked.

"It's okay," I say quickly, unsure if it is at all.

_Did he hear me?_

"I just wanted to make sure you were okay… and, umm… see if you need anything."

I force myself to open the curtain slightly, peering out. "Thanks. I'm okay."

**Delicate**

My face is burning with mortification, especially when I hear Jasper's voice answer an octave higher than normal, "Okay, I'll... I'll just... go."

I wait until I hear the door click shut behind him and then sag against the tiles.

_Crap! _Now_ what am I gonna do?_

Closing my eyes, I try to force my panic down. I can't think about it right now. I just can't.

Stepping out of the shower, I notice my clothes – clean ones from my bag – lying in a neat pile on the counter, next to a fluffy towel.

_Huh. He's never done that before..._

**Hesitant**

I force myself to get dressed, but when I reach for the doorknob, my hand hovers over it, trembling faintly. I don't know what I'll find when I go into Jasper's room – and, to be honest, I don't know what I _want _to see there.

Telling myself to grow the fuck up, I pull open the door and step out, only to stop in my tracks.

Jasper's on his hands and knees with a spray bottle and a cloth, trying to clean up my mess from the night before.

"Fuck, sorry. Here, let me…" I say, kneeling down beside him.

**Collide**

I reach for the rag just as Jasper bends forward again and says, "I've got it."

Our heads bang together. We both jerk back, holdings our heads and cursing. I feel queasy, and my head is pounding like crazy now.

"Fuck… sorry, man," I groan, trying to keep from adding to the mess by emptying my guts again.

Jasper's taking some deep breaths of his own, so presumably he's feeling the same.

Slowly, I look up at him. His eyes are still closed, so I let myself _see_ him, examining him the way I studied myself in the mirror earlier.

**Change**

There's a tightness around his eyes that I've never seen before, but his blond hair is still just as messy. He's wearing his favorite Led Zeppelin t-shirt and the jeans with the hole across his thigh. His left wrist is covered in those black rubber bracelets he loves, and suddenly it hits me.

"You're still Jasper!" I blurt out.

He opens his eyes, glaring at me. "Who the fuck else would I be?"

Yanking the rag away from me, he starts scrubbing again, hiding his face. I reach out and catch his wrist. "Damn it, Jasper. Fucking talk to me."

**Resigned**

He closes his eyes again, straightening up with a deep sigh. Slowly, he turns to look at me, his face a carefully blank mask. "What the fuck do you want me to say, Ed? What the fuck _is _there to say? 'It was a mistake'? 'It'll never happen again'? 'Let's forget it ever happened'?"

I swallow hard as he continues.

"'Nothing has to change – we can still be friends'? We both know _everything_'s changed, Ed."

With that, he turns away with a pained expression, his jaw working furiously. I think I hear him whisper, "Damn sure fucking hates me now..."

**Rush**

Something in his voice brings back memories of the night before – the thrill, the confusion, but most of all the pleading just before I fell asleep.

"I don't hate you, Jasper," I say firmly.

He looks at me reluctantly, his eyes disbelieving.

"I mean it. I don't understand what happened last night, not yet, but I felt it, too." He opens his mouth to say something, but I plow ahead, determined to get it out now that I've started. "I don't know if I'm gay or if I'm in love with you or… fuck, anything. But I don't hate you."

**Response**

"Really?"

His voice is so small, his face so uncertain, that I can't help cupping his jaw, brushing my thumb gently over his cheek. He inhales sharply but doesn't move.

"Yes, really, Jasper. For Christ's sake, you've been my best friend for _how_long now? I could never just up and hate you, Jazz. I care too much about you."

Even as the words leave my mouth, I know them to be true. I don't know quite how far my feelings go yet, or how to label what we are, but I know I always want him in my life.

**Think**

"So what happens now?"

It's the question I've been dreading. I don't know where to _begin_ thinking about it. I move my hand to the back of my neck as I sigh heavily. "I don't know," I admit. "It's… hell, there's a lot for me to figure out. You know?"

He nods slowly, licking his lips as he moves to sit on his bed.

"How did you know you were gay?" I can't help asking.

He flushes and glances away. "Ahh… when, umm…" He huffs and then blurts out, "When I realized I always thought about guys when I jack-off."

**Different**

I frown at the floor.

_That doesn't help... that's not me..._

Sighing, I run my fingers through my hair, trying to push aside my musings for now.

Jasper starts scrubbing away at the dried-up puke again, refusing my help, so I scoot out of the way and watch him. The way his muscles ripple as he works. How his brow crinkles in concentration. I catalogue it all for later inspection.

After a couple of minutes, he sits up, wiping sweat off his forehead. He huffs, his eyes darting around before settling on mine. "So... you still want to hang out?"

**Home**

"Yeah," I tell him with a smile he returns. "I just… I think I should head home for a little while, see what I can figure out. You know?"

He nods slowly, his forehead wrinkling again.

I stand up, and he does the same. We hesitate, shuffling our feet awkwardly, and then I reach out, hugging him close. I don't know why, exactly, except that he's hurting, and I hate that.

"Jazz, look… I promise I'll talk to you, okay?" I whisper.

He nods.

I know it's a bullshit answer, but I just don't have a better one right now.

**Heavy**

No one's home when I get there, and I'm extremely grateful, all things considered. I don't think I could handle my mother's questions right now – and there'd definitely be questions if she saw me. I _know _she'd be able to read my face and tell something's up.

Hell, _I_ have plenty of questions myself, and I don't have a _clue _on where to look for answers. It's not like I can ask anyone to help me.

Sitting down heavily behind my desk, I scrub my face with my hands and go over everything that's happened in the past twenty-four hours.

**Niggle**

Leaning back in my chair, I toss a baseball back and forth from hand to hand. My eyes watch the movement, but I don't really see it.

Instead, I'm seeing Jasper – the way he looked last night in the middle of our… whatever that was. The way he looked this morning, so pissed off.

The way he looked when he told me about jacking off to guys.

_Well, I definitely _don't _do that._

I sigh – and then freeze.

_Except… this morning…_

Biting the inside of my cheek, I think of my shower, of calling Jasper's name when I came.

"Fuck…"

**Idea**

I glance at my computer, wondering.

"Ah, fuck it," I mutter, hitting the power button.

While I wait for it to boot up, I make sure my door's locked before stripping down to my boxers. Grabbing a box of tissues and lube, I sit down again and start searching for what I need.

_Only one way to find out, right?_

After sifting through the slew of sites that pop up on my search engine, I click on one that looks promising.

Not sure what exactly I'm looking for to test myself, I randomly hit play and turn the sound down.

**Confirm**

My initial reaction is anything but turned on. The video starts with one guy licking the other one's ass.

I just stare.

In horror.

But then they switch to the... err... receiver's face. His lips are open as he moans, but his eyes are closed. His forehead's wrinkled, and he looks like nothing has ever felt that good in his life.

That's not the part that gets me, though. He opens his eyes, and they're the exact same blue as Jasper's.

I feel my cock stirring in interest and look down in surprise.

When I look up, the scene's changed.

**Sixty-nine**

I gulp at the sight of the two guys giving each other head, my own dick growing hard in response.

When the camera zooms in on one of them taking the other's cock all the way down until his nose meets the guy's pubes, I moan, drowning out the sounds they're making.

My hand wraps around my length without my consent, stroking languidly as I watch the scene unfold.

Blue-eyes deep-throats the other guy again, pressing a finger in the guy's hole, causing him to buck and moan around Blue-eyes' cock.

"Oh jesus, fuck..." I whimper, transfixed at the sight.

**Undeniable**

I spread lube along my cock without ever taking my eyes from the screen. My heart races, and I realize I don't want to miss a second of what they're doing.

The other guy pulls away suddenly, and Blue-eyes cries out as he spurts come all over the guy's face, stubble and all. My hand speeds, my eyes fluttering, but they pop right back open again when the other guy positions his condom-sheathed cock right at Blue-eyes' ass.

He presses in with a deep moan from Blue-eyes, and it only takes a few thrusts before I come into the tissue.

**Stunned**

Cleaning myself up mechanically, I try to catch my breath – and figure out what the _hell _this means.

_I just got off watching two guys..._

_Oh, god..._

All of a sudden, the sounds from the screen are too much, and I hit mute even as I click off the window.

_What the fuck does this mean?_

Not bothering with anything else, I head straight for my favorite porn site, desperately needing to know for sure. Hitting play on the first video I find, I sit back to watch.

I almost moan in relief when I see the girl's bare pussy.

**Palm**

I run my palm along my cock even though I'm definitely not up for anything else. It's good to feel that familiar stirring, to know that I absolutely still want tits and pussy – because this girl's body is doing all kinds of things for me.

_Of course…_

I swallow hard when I look at the guy she's with. He's lightly muscled with perfect lips and a handsome face.

And a gorgeous cock.

"Oh, god…" I whisper, suddenly sure.

I close the browser and shove my chair back, burying my face in my hands.

_What the hell do I do now?_

**Swing**

Suddenly, my room feels stifling, suffocating me with implications of what I've just realized. I hit the power button on my computer, not even caring to shut it down properly. Scrambling for my clothes, I hastily get dressed before running downstairs and onto the back deck.

Only once the fresh air hits my face do I stop, close my eyes, and breathe. Deep, steadying breaths to try to calm down. My heart's racing, and not from the running.

Opening my eyes, I glance around for answers. Spotting the porch swing, I sit down heavily and stare out into the backyard.

**Image**

I don't see trees and flowers and the grass I'll have to cut next weekend. No matter what's right in front of my eyes, all I see is Jasper.

The way he looked last night, excited, uninhibited, and full of lust.

The way he looked this morning, red-faced, pissed off, and betrayed.

The way he looked when I left, scared and… hopeful.

I don't know how long I sit there, and I don't know what I'm thinking about.

Suddenly, footsteps land on the stairs, and I jump. Glancing over, I find Jasper standing there with his hands in his pockets.

**Shuffle**

"Hi," he mumbles, looking down at his boots, shuffling his feet awkwardly.

"Hey." I cringe at how flat I sound.

Jasper clears his throat, still refusing to look at me. "I-I'm sorry... I just..." he stammers.

Closing his eyes briefly, he huffs, glances up at me through his lashes, and says quickly, "I was worried when you didn't answer your phone and... Ed, man... are you alright?"

I blink. I hadn't even _heard_ the phone. Then his question sinks in, and I snort, looking away – mostly out of embarrassment. "Yeah, fine... I guess I'm a tits-ass-and-cock guy. How 'bout that?"

**Confused**

He frowns at me before he runs his fingers through his hair. "I… don't know what that means?"

I snort, rolling my eyes and scrubbing my face with my hands. "Yeah, me either."

When I lower my hands again, Jasper's standing in front of me. "Can I sit?"

I nod, sliding to one end while he sits on the other. We swing in silence until he finally says, "I really don't understand…"

His voice is quiet and nearly broken, and I sigh. "I'm… hell, I don't know what I am. But I… oh, fuck it. I like… umm… guys, too."

**Hidden**

Jasper looks at his hands before glancing at me briefly. "Too, as in... you're gay?"

He tries hard to hide his feelings, but I can still sense both the excitement and the hope in his tone.

I snort lightly. "Err... no." His shoulders slump a little, causing me to add, "And... yes... I guess? I don't know."

He looks at me then, frowning. I explain to him in painful detail what I did earlier, ignoring the heat flaming in my cheeks, though I'm unable to meet his gaze as I speak. Silence hangs heavy in the air when I'm done.

**Unsure**

"Wow," he says finally.

I bark a laugh. "Yeah."

"Sorry," he says, glancing at me. "That's just… fuck, Ed. I don't know what to say."

I don't answer. What _is_ there to say?

The swing moves as he shifts, and I look up to find him facing me. He takes a deep breath, puffing his cheeks as he lets it out. "Fuck, this is hard to say," he mutters under his breath before raising his voice. "Edward, I… I know what you're going through is… insane. Just… I want you to know I'm here for you. However you want me."

**Choice**

I search his eyes, sifting through his words to hear what he _isn't _saying.

_Have him as my friend... or as my lover?_

Allowing myself time to think before opening my big mouth, I rest my head against the swing.

Part of me's intrigued by the idea of being with Jasper. The fact that my dick's hardening at the mere thought attests to that.

_But can I _be_ with him, be with him?_

_What happens if I say no? Will I lose him?_

The thought of _that_is like a stab to my chest.

_I don't want to hurt him…_

**Evaluate**

At that thought, I straighten up and frown. I can practically see him biting his tongue to give me time.

"Okay, so…" I can't seem to stop my knee from bouncing. "I don't know what I want. I wish I knew… believe me, I do. But..."

Jasper just watches me with no expression, making it even harder.

I finally blurt out, "I-I'm attracted to you. I was _definitely_ into last night – all of it. But I'm attracted to women, too. I don't know what that means for me yet… if I can be with you – or anyone – forever or… what…"

**Understanding**

The look of pain in his eyes stops me, though it's gone as quick as it came.

"I'm sorry," I whisper, rubbing the back of my neck. "Jazz, the _last _thing in the world I want to do is hurt you. I-"

Jasper takes my hand in his, hesitantly at first, but when I don't protest, he grabs it tightly. "Don't, Ed. I get it. I do. I'm not asking for anything from you. No promises for forever or anything."

There's something in his eyes as he says that, but he schools himself too quickly for me to grasp it.

**Help**

I close my eyes, at a loss as I try to make sense of this. Nothing Jasper's said is helpful – it seems like he's saying that whatever I decide is fine, but I know it can't be.

I also know our friendship is going to change dramatically, no matter what I choose.

I exhale heavily and open my eyes. Jasper's watching me with concern, and his hand feels so warm in mine.

"What if… what if I say I want to try, but then it doesn't work?"

"I don't know, Ed. That's… well, that's why I didn't say anything sooner."

**Decision**

I nod, combing my fingers through my hair as I search his eyes for answers. The more I think about it, though, the clearer it becomes.

Either we try and see what happens...

Or do nothing, and ruin our friendship, because I'm pretty sure neither of us can handle the embarrassment otherwise. After last night, there's no way to take anything back. No way to deny what happened.

And I don't want to.

Before I've really made up my mind to do so, I lean in, brushing my lips against his. "I think I'd like to try, Jazz," I whisper.

**Tentative**

He kisses me lightly, his hand slipping to my thigh. We pull away before long, and he gives me a shy smile. "Really?"

I can't help but smile. He looks so innocent and cautiously excited. "Yeah, really."

His eyes are torn between desire and hesitance as he looks around the backyard before meeting my gaze again. "I… ahh… fuck, Ed, I don't know where to go from here. I mean, I'm not out and…"

My lips curve into a smile again. "Neither am I," I remind him. "I don't think I'm ready, either. Let's just… do what works for us?"

**Agree**

He nods, still smiling shyly.

"Hey, what time is it?"

Jasper looks at his watch. "Umm, quarter 'til four?"

Biting my lip, I ponder. There're more questions than answers – both for him, and for me – but I don't think we'll find the answers today. Or any time soon, really. All this shit will have to work itself out over time, I guess.

I'm ready to start figuring it out, though, so I ask, "Hey... my parents won't be back 'til six. Stay? Dinner, too?"

He nods, smiling.

I don't know what'll happen next, but I'm looking forward to finding out.


	37. Field of Change

**A/N: **Happy Birthday,_** Betham**_! We wanted to mark your day to let you know we love you, so we hope you enjoy these two boys. We hope you have a fantastic day, sweets.

As ever, we do not own Twilight - it owns us.

**ooOoo**

**Escape**

I look around at my friends. Most everyone's paired off, happy and in love.

It's too much, so soon after my break-up with Alistair. Seeing everyone like that just hurts, so I grab my guitar and escape quietly into the fields behind Emmett's place so I'll be left alone.

Sitting down against the scarecrow, I strum my guitar, staring out into nothing as I try to clear my mind.

Images of Al and me keep invading my thoughts, though. I sigh, closing my eyes and letting my palm rest flat on my guitar, just listening to the sounds of nature.

**Discovered**

Something crashes through the grain to my right. My eyes snap open, and Jasper stumbles just into view.

He practically growls as he reaches down and grabs something before straightening and hurling it as far as he can. Then he sighs and puts both hands behind his head.

Before I can say anything, he turns and catches sight of me. "Oh," he says, "sorry. I didn't mean to… I'll just go."

He turns on his heel, and for some reason, I stop him. "No, it's okay. I just didn't feel like being around everyone."

"Tell me about it," he huffs.

**Curious**

Quirking a brow, I try for a little sarcastic humor. "So who pissed in your Cheerios?"

Jasper's eyes widen in surprise before he lets out one bark of a laugh. "Oh. _Peter_ decided to show up. _With_ his latest... acquisition."

I frown. "Ouch. Harsh, dude, I'm sorry."

He shrugs, flops down next to me, Indian-style, and starts plucking at some wheat stalks at our feet.

We sit in silence for a while, though eventually I begin strumming on my guitar again, bringing a faint smile to Jasper's lips.

"Been awhile since I heard you play," he murmurs, glancing at me.

**Remember**

I smile, playing another chord. "Guess it has been, yeah…"

Silence falls on us again, so I lean my head back against the scarecrow's post and let my fingers talk. Without conscious thought, they begin to play "Polly," and Jasper tilts his head, listening for a minute before chuckling.

"Oh, hey! Do you still remember 'Heaven Beside You'?" he asks.

Amused that his thoughts have returned to high school with mine, I nod. "Of course."

I glance down at my hands as I begin and then look up at him, grinning. "You know you have to sing," I tease him.

**Melody**

Jasper's eyes are closed as he sings, "Like the coldest winter chill, Heaven beside you, Hell within..."

My fingers remember this song well from high school, allowing me to focus on Jasper's voice. I marvel at how much it's changed since then. How much deeper it's gotten. It's got a little more edge to it now, too.

_He sounds damn sexy__._

The thought almost makes me falter, but I quickly recover. Jasper doesn't even appear to notice. For the first time, I allow myself to really look at him, taking in all the other changes that time has brought him.

**Cover**

The gray t-shirt Jasper wears doesn't seem to have changed, but the way it stretches across his shoulders has. His jeans are well-worn, showing the contours of his thighs, and I can't help but appreciate the bulge of his crotch.

I feel my own body responding and shift on the ground, trying to get a little more comfortable – and a little less obvious.

_Fuck… when did Jasper get _hot_?_

I've never seen him that way before, and now I can't look away.

"And out of your mind…" he sings, catching me off guard as the song winds to a close.

**Mutual**

As the last notes of the song fade away, we grin at each other, both likely remembering the parties we had in high school and the things we got up to then.

Snorting, I shake my head. "Hard to believe we're all grown up now, isn't it?"

Jasper throws his head back and laughs. I admire the way his muscles play along his neck and how his eyes crinkle when he smiles his dimpled, crooked smile. He runs his fingers through his hair. "No shit. Especially to think _Emmett_'s the first one to get married. To _my_ sister, no less."

**Reminisce**

He goes on a hilarious rant about the first time he caught Emmett with Rosalie. None of us had any idea they were dating, and he walked in on them – literally. Emmett had one hand up Rosalie's skirt and the other on her breast.

Jasper blanches at the memory, and I can't help but snicker.

"Yeah, yeah… laugh it up. Swear to god, it scarred me for life."

"Because it was your sister or because it was a chick?"

He shoots me a grin. "Both," he says with an easy shrug.

I chuckle, nodding in understanding as our eyes meet.

**Catch**

He watches me for a moment, his expression softening slightly with the hint of concern. "So, what happened between you and Al?"

The question catches me off guard, though it really shouldn't. We've always talked about shit like that before. No, the reason I'm taken aback is because it actually takes me a few seconds to remember that there even _was_ a "me and Al."

Frowning at myself, I put my guitar carefully aside before pulling my knees up and resting my arms on them. Staring at the ground between my feet, I sigh.

"What _didn't_ happen?" I mutter darkly.

**Explain**

"Hey, it's cool if you don't want to talk about it…" I can hear the question in Jasper's voice – the curiosity about why this time would be any different than before.

"Nah, it's alright." I sigh, trying to think of where to begin. Staring at my fingers, I finally say, "It was like he was two different people, man. Most of the time, things were great, but then I'd come home five minutes late, and he'd grill me about where I was. He thought I was cheating and…" I shake my head, grimacing. "He was just paranoid – crazy fucking paranoid."

**Disbelief**

When Jasper doesn't say anything, I chance a glance at him, only to find him staring at me, wide-eyed. He blinks, shaking his head. "What the fuck? How the hell could he think _you,_ of all people, would cheat on him? On _anyone_?"

I shrug.

Jasper starts ranting, angry on my behalf that Alistair would ever accuse me of such a thing. It makes me smile to hear him stand up for me, to hear his conviction as he explains to me – of all people – that I never even so much as _look_ at another guy when I'm with someone.

**Bemused**

I sit back, smiling in quiet amusement. The hurt I felt over Alistair's accusations begins to fade as I listen to how Jasper sees me. I'd put everything I had into my relationship with Al; I just don't know how to do it any other way. To hear him say such horrible things about me – _to _me – had broken me.

"What are you grinning at?" Jasper grumbles suddenly, a smile tugging at the corner of his lips despite his mock-annoyance.

"You. You're cute."

His eyes widen. "Cute, huh? Since when?"

"Since now." I shrug and tease him. "My righteous defender."

**Sincere**

Jasper snorts quietly, rolling his eyes.

Putting my hand on his knee, I look at him, all humor forgotten as I say, "Thanks. Really. It means a lot to hear you say all that. Probably more than you realize."

His eyes search mine for a moment before he nods. "No problem. I know you, man. Have, for most of your life. That shit's just not in you. I respect you for that. Always have."

I smile at him. "Thanks. Again."

He covers my hand with his own, and I marvel at how warm it is. "You're a great guy, Gar."

**Warmth**

"Whoever ends up with you will be a lucky man," he finishes, pulling his hand away. He reclines, leaning back on his elbows and letting his head loll back as he soaks up the sun.

My smile grows, fueled by the warmth spreading through my chest at his words. Before I can return the compliment – Jasper _is_ an amazing man – he speaks again, directing his words to the sky.

"Hell, that's part of the reason I had a mad crush on you back in high school."

"What?"

He laughs and sits up. "Oh, yeah… don't tell me you didn't know."

**Shock**

I just stare at him with my mouth hanging open.

He laughs, nudging my knee. "Dude, you were totally cool back then. _Everyone_ had a crush on you, I think."

I snort.

"Seriously!" He ticks off his fingers as he lists everything. "Black leather jacket. That motorcycle you bought and drove to school even if your folks hated it. Long hair, torn jeans. Hell, _you're_ the one that got me into Grunge."

_He really thought I was cool?_

_He had a crush? On me?_

Jasper grins. "You really didn't know?"

"I can honestly say I didn't have a fucking clue."

**Draw**

I can feel the stupid grin on my face before something hits me. "Hey, wait… I _was_ cool? What the hell, man?" I say, half-teasing – and half-serious because I'm consumed with curiosity about how he sees me now.

"You're still cool." He winks.

I frown slightly, tilting my head as I study him. I hear those two little voices in the back of my head debating – the gentleman, telling me not to risk my friendship, and the jackass, telling me to go for what I want.

The jackass wins.

"Do you still have a crush on me?" I ask quietly.

**Raise**

Jasper raises an amused eyebrow, though there's something else in his eyes, too. I just can't tell _what_.

"Ohh, no," he challenges, "I just told you one of my – apparently best-kept – secrets. Tit for fucking tat, Gar."

He grins.

_Shit. __Me and my big mouth._

Pulling my hat off, I scrub my fingers through my hair as I try to think of what to tell him. And then it hits me. _Tat__!_

I move to sit on my knees and start unbuttoning my jeans, causing Jasper's eyes to bulge. I laugh, rolling my eyes. "Relax, just doing as you requested."

**Tattoo**

I lower my jeans a little further than necessary, mostly to see Jasper gape and feel his eyes roaming the light dusting of hair I've left dangerously low. I don't know if he's aware of the way he shifts on the ground, but I am.

Grinning, I pull up my shirt, giving him a clear view of the script tattoo curving around my hipbone.

"No one knows about that – well, unless they've seen me naked, of course."

His eyes linger on my skin as he murmurs, "I celebrate myself, and sing myself, and what I assume you shall assume… Whitman?"

**Meaning**

I nod, then realize he's not looking at my face. "Yeah," I answer with amusement in my voice.

He tears his eyes away, smirking as he looks up at me. "Explain?"

I lower my shirt and pull up my jeans, giving myself a second to think. "It's… a lot of things, I guess. It reminds me that I'm not just me… we're all in this together, you know? But I got it as a reminder that I'm… worth something." My voice grows smaller as I admit the last.

Jasper's eyes are serious – and troubled. "You are, Garrett," he says simply.

**Struggle**

Settling back down, we sit in silence for a few minutes. I'm lost in memories of my break-up with Randall, my first serious boyfriend. I was heartbroken when I found out Randall had cheated on me.

It'd killed me when he'd blamed _me_ for it, saying I hadn't been enough – wasn't good enough for him or anyone else.

The months after that made up a dark period in my life, and it had taken all of my friends to pull me out of the depression I'd fallen into. Jasper included.

Watching him now, I'm certain he remembers much the same.

**Gentle**

Jasper's eyes are on me – pensive, worried. Curious?

Clearing my throat self-consciously, I resume my seat from earlier: legs drawn up, arms resting on my knees, my eyes focused on the ground between my feet as I try not to linger on those memories.

I worked hard to get back to myself again, and that tattoo is my permanent reminder.

Jasper nudges my shin. "He was an idiot, Gar. Al, too. Hell, so were Mike, and what's his name... Corin, that's right... too. They didn't know what they had, Garrett. Trust me on this."

"Neither did Peter," I point out.

**Wonder**

Jasper shoots me a grateful smile and then sighs. "I don't know why the hell I even _care_ that he's here," he mutters.

I raise an eyebrow in amusement. "Because this is your space – your _sister's_ house – and that fucker just invaded it."

He gives a low chuckle and nods. "Yeah, guess that's it. I just want to be done with him, you know?"

I nod, understanding what he doesn't say. Ever since Jasper dumped Peter, Peter seems to have made it his life's mission to annoy him to death.

"Who invited him anyway?" I wonder aloud.

"Peter." Jasper smirks.

**Muse**

I snort, shaking my head. It really shouldn't surprise me that Peter would do that.

Sitting back against the scarecrow, I watch Jasper as he plays with a few stalks of grain, idly weaving them together.

My mind wanders down paths I've never thought of before.

"Wonder what would've happened if _we'd_ ever gotten together," I muse.

Jasper's eyes cut to mine, though he continues doing what he's doing. The crooked grin on his face confuses me as he says, "Often wondered that, myself. Would be interesting to find out, wouldn't it?"

_Fuck! I said that out loud?_

I blush.

**Gauging**

One word really catches my attention. "Often?" I ask curiously.

Jasper grins and shrugs. "Yeah."

"That's all you're going to say? 'Yeah'?"

He chuckles. "Until you say something else… yup."

I frown slightly, intrigued by his evasion. "Something like..?"

He shrugs again, his impish grin firmly in place. "Whatever comes to you."

His dancing around the subject is enough to give me some courage. He's clearly wondered about us… and just as clearly not dismissed the idea.

I smile, dropping my knees so that I'm sitting Indian-style. Leaning forward, I murmur, "What if I said I'd like to find out?"

**Flirt**

"I'd say I think I can live with that," he deadpans, eyes sparkling and locked with mine.

I decide to tease him just a little. "I don't know... we've known each other most of our lives. Not a lot we don't know about each other... might be kinda boring."

Jasper leans forward, his face scant inches from mine as he murmurs, "So sure about that? God only knows what other secrets you've got besides that tattoo of yours. I think there's still plenty left to discover."

"That so?"

"Mhmm, for starters..." Trailing off, he tilts his head and kisses me.

**Slide**

I half-expect kissing Jasper to be strange – because he's _Jasper_. But his hand is warm as it slides up my thigh and his full lips are soft. When he parts them, he tastes sweet and sultry, like some type of forbidden candy.

Before I realize it, I've tangled my hand in his shirt, yanking him closer. He responds with a growl that ignites passion and anticipation, making me struggle to keep from pushing him to the ground, here and now.

Instead, I force myself to slow and then part from him. He opens his eyes, smiling lazily.

"Damn," he whispers.

**More**

I murmur, "Damn's right. That was...mmm."

I can't help myself, and it seems he can't either as he meets me in the middle for another long, sweet kiss.

Somehow, I end up sitting against the scarecrow again, but with Jasper in my lap and my hands on his sides. When he eventually pulls away far enough to talk, he grins. "I can't tell you how glad I am that kissing you didn't turn out weird."

I chuckle, knowing exactly what he means. Running my fingers through his blond hair, I ask, "So where do you want to go from here?"

**Truth **

"I want to get to know you," he answers, laughing when I stare at him incredulously. "No, I mean it! I mean… yeah, I know your favorite cereal is Fruit Loops and you love _Ren and Stimpy_and you look like some Grunge god when you play the guitar…"

I feel my cheeks heat as I laugh. He kisses me softly, whispering, "But I want to learn the stuff the rest of the guys don't know."

The unintentional innuendo puts a smirk on my face as I say, "And how do you want to do that?"

"Hmm… truth or dare?"

**Learn**

I groan.

Jasper chuckles. "C'mon. It'll be fun. Promise."

I narrow my eyes at him. "Just don't dare me to kiss Emmett again. I _like_ where my family jewels are, thank you," I say, remembering Rose's threat from the last time we played this game.

He kisses me hard and growls, "Fuck no. You're mine now, Gar. No one touches these lips but me."

I groan again, feeling my dick stir in response.

"I like the sound of that," I say, clearing my throat. "So...?"

He grins. "Truth or Dare?"

"Truth."

"Left or right side of the bed?" he asks.

**Continue**

I smile. "Right. Truth or dare?"

"Truth."

Pausing to think for a moment, I can't resist kissing him again. His lips move smoothly against mine, and just that easily, I have my question. "Am I a good kisser?"

He laughs, pulling my hat off to tangle his fingers in my hair. He kisses me deeply, moans against my lips, and pulls away to whisper breathlessly, "Fuck, yes… truth or dare?"

We play for a few minutes more, choosing truth and learning silly things. Then he asks, "Do you think we can work?"

Studying his deep blue eyes, I smile. "Yes."

**Turn**

He chooses truth again. I bite my lip, my eyes still on his as I whisper, "Do _you_ think we could work?"

His answer is immediate, sure. "Yes. Absolutely."

His eyes twinkle, then. "Truth or Dare?"

"Truth."

"What's your favorite sex position?"

I cough in surprise, blushing, but recover quickly, squeezing his hips. "Like this, only with less clothing."

Jasper shifts just so, rubbing against me, and we both moan. "Just like this, huh?"

I nod, biting my lip. For his turn, he chooses dare. "Show me yours."

His eyes darken. "Take me home, and I will," he says huskily.

**Last**

"Are you serious?" I ask, unable to resist rolling my hips into his.

He moans softly, biting his bottom lip. "My turn to ask the question…" he murmurs. "Truth or dare?"

"Truth."

He leans down and breathes into my ear, "Do you want to fuck me right now?"

"Fuck," I whisper, my fingers digging into his hips. "Yes… hell yes. Can't you feel it?"

His fingers pull my hair painfully as he bites my earlobe. "Mhmm… can I feel it in me?"

"Oh my god…" I hold him close, my cheek against his chest as we writhe against each other.

**Scramble**

How long we stay like that, I'm not sure, but when I feel like I'm about to lose all control, I pull away, panting. My eyes search his frantically, my fingers digging into his sides.

"Jazz, take me home now, or I'm liable to end up fucking you dry. Here. Now. I can't wait much longer, and I _really_ don't want to hurt you," I say, my voice raw with desire.

His gaze burns into mine for several seconds before he scrambles off my lap and jumps to his feet. Grabbing my hand, he jerks me to mine, as well.

**Arrive**

We don't even bother going inside to say goodbye. Slinging my guitar over my back, I take Jasper's hand again. We set off through the field, crossing it to get to Jasper's house.

The whole time we're walking, he keeps casting glances over his shoulder at me, grinning like he can't believe what's happening. I know the feeling – the whole thing seems a little surreal to me, too.

As soon as we step onto his back porch, he's on me again. His hands are roaming deliberately as he kisses me hungrily, and I couldn't stop my moans if I tried.

**Ready**

Jasper takes my guitar, placing it on the porch-swing before pulling me inside. I'm not worried about anyone taking it – we're too remote – so I follow him willingly as he leads me to his bedroom with purposeful strides.

Once there, we undress each other as quickly as we're able between kisses and groping, our need for _more_ increasing with every item we discard.

As soon as I'm naked, he pushes me onto the bed with a grin, grabbing lube and a condom from his nightstand before crawling over me.

"Yours first. I'll show you mine, later," he murmurs, kissing me.

**Sheath**

I start to protest, reminding him of the dare, but he silences me with a kiss and a smile. "Trust me… I'll be taking you my favorite way in a little while. But this is so much better for our first time…"

I inhale sharply and kiss him eagerly, overcome with the idea of being with him again and again. Together, we slide up the bed, where he piles pillows against the headboard. We prepare each other, our hands colliding in our haste, and finally – _finally _– he straddles me.

Guiding my cock, I groan as he takes all of me.

**Ride**

I hold him still, my eyes closed and my head thrown back as I just breathe. I'm afraid that if he moves, I'll come right then and there.

Being inside of him is exquisite. Jasper apparently feels it, too, as he whispers, "Oh _fuck_, Gar... so full. So good... Move, please... need to..."

Taking a steadying breath, I open my eyes to gaze at him, only to close them again when he kisses me fiercely as he rolls his hips.

I moan into the kiss and start to move with him, my arms firmly wrapped around him, holding him close.

**Heaven**

The intimacy of being with someone this way has always heightened every sensation for me. Having Jasper wrapped around me – his chest in my face, his head over mine – blocks out the rest of the world. All I know is _him_.

It's all I want to know.

Lifting my chin, I kiss him with abandon as our hard bodies move together. His hips rock seductively back and forth, up and down, grinding on my cock in a way that makes me whimper. He's intense and focused, giving me every little piece of him.

I can't help but do the same.

**Shift**

Kissing me hard, Jasper shifts to gain more leverage. The new angle makes me hit his prostate, and he cries out into my mouth, his fingers gripping my hair to the point of pain.

Our pace becomes frenzied, the sounds he's making urging me on. The way he looks drives me to get him closer. He's so beautiful like this, as he moves with abandon, chasing his release and pulling me right along with him.

"God, Jazz... so fucking good, baby... Please, let me see... come for me, please, baby..." I babble, panting from the exertion. I'm so fucking close.

**Cry**

Just as I feel that elusive point approaching where one more touch will send me spiraling, Jasper freezes in place. He tightens around me, his mouth hanging open, before he suddenly screams, "Oh f-f-fuck!"

His entire body shudders as I feel his hot, sticky release shoot across my chest. I whimper, nearly panicked as I say, "Baby… oh god, baby, please don't… don't stop… don't…"

Jasper doesn't open his eyes as he begins again, immediately bringing back that sense of impending paradise. I grasp his hips, guiding him to what I need, and soon I'm crying out against his chest.

**Collapse**

Jasper sags in my arms, apparently exhausted from the exertion. With one last push of strength, I hold him tight as I scoot us both down before collapsing in a heap.

He shifts to get more comfortable, lying half on top of me still. I squeeze him lightly, kissing the top of his head. "Thank you," I breathe.

"For what?" he mumbles, lifting his head.

I shrug. "Just 'thank you'." I chuckle and add, "I definitely think I could get used to this."

He quirks a questioning eyebrow.

"You. Being with you like this. Amazing sex aside... it feels... right."

**Smart**

"Don't discount the amazing sex now," he warns, half-teasing.

I chuckle, and he presses up to kiss me gently.

"Seriously… Gar, I've loved you my whole life. We already know we get along… having physical chemistry is definitely something to be happy about, you know? Coulda been like fucking your brother." I shudder involuntarily, and he laughs. "Exactly."

"Yeah, I see your point," I murmur. With my finger under his chin, I urge his lips to mine again before whispering, "So is it a good sign that I'm already anxious to try this favorite position of yours?"

"Absolutely." He grins.

**Lounge**

We doze on and off for a while, talking quietly when we're both conscious and just generally enjoying being this close.

After a while, Jasper's stomach grumbles, causing us both to laugh.

He grins. "Want to cook dinner with me?"

Squeezing him tighter, I nod. "Sounds good to me."

We get up, only bothering with underwear and t-shirts before heading to his kitchen. He scours his fridge briefly, looks over his shoulder, and asks, "You want fajitas or my pizza?"

Placing my hand on the small of his back, I smile. "Fajitas?"

He nods and starts handing me the ingredients.

**Find**

Jasper's chopping peppers when he says, "Oh hey, could you grab a wooden spoon?"

"Of course. Umm… where is it?"

He laughs. "Drawer by the fridge."

"Got it," I answer, kissing his cheek. I'm surprised by how easy it's been to switch into this intimate place with him, but I also love every second of it.

Opening the drawer by the refrigerator, I freeze, staring in disbelief at condoms and tubes of flavored lube. "Umm…"

"What's-" Jasper starts before laughing. "Oh. Ahh… the other drawer."

Crossing the floor, I wrap my arms around him. "Something you want to tell me?"

**Tell**

He grins, blushing as he puts down his knife and turns in my arms. His eyes are dancing as he leans in, whispering against my lips, "Well, I did say I'd show you _my_ favorite later, didn't I?"

His eyes dart meaningfully to the drawer as he chuckles, kissing me. I lose myself for a minute before remembering what we were talking about.

Pulling back, I raise a questioning eyebrow.

"A man who knows his way around a kitchen's sexy – what can I say? Besides, I like being prepared. Those aren't the only ones stashed around the house."

He winks.

**Absolute**

"How often do you use all of those?" I can't help asking.

He laughs and kisses me softly. "When I have a boyfriend…" He shrugs and then adds begrudgingly, "And a few other times."

"Oh, really? Sounds like there really is a lot I need to learn about you…"

His smile is incorrigible as he lets his hands drift down, squeezing my ass. "Does it bother you, baby?"

I shake my head. "Not really… can I ask why the kitchen, though?"

At that, he moans and closes his eyes, pressing close to me. "For my absolute favorite position…" he breathes.

**Show**

"Which is?" I manage, but only barely, as Jasper's lips latch onto my neck, his hips rolling into mine.

"Oh jesus... Jazz," I moan, earning me a breathy chuckle.

"Want me to show you?" His voice is husky, full of promise and want.

All I can do is nod as his thumbs hook into my waistband. At my consent, he lowers my boxer-briefs so I can step out of them. Except... he doesn't get back up.

Instead, he smirks up at me. "First, I want an appetizer," he teases, licking me from tip to base and back again.

"Oh fuck..."

**Deep**

Jasper guides my bare ass against the counter and spreads my feet so he can get even closer. He takes my head between his lips, teasing me by flicking his tongue along my ridge. I groan in arousal and frustration, bouncing my hips a little.

His laugh is muffled by my cock as he suddenly takes me _all_ the way, so far that his nose brushes against my abdomen.

"Holy shit!"

It takes me a second to realize I wasn't the only one that cried out.

"Oh my… Jesus!" My head snaps around, looking for the source of Emmett's voice.

**Stammer**

I feel my dick slip limply from Jasper's lips as Emmett claps his hand in front of his eyes, blushes furiously, and stammers, "I... ahh... we... wondered... oh fucking hell... saw your guitar..."

Emmett's fingers spread just enough to peek through, but he quickly turns away as he continues to bumble his way through his explanation of why he's here – now.

I'm so shocked, I can't move. Can't even _think_. It isn't until Jasper nudges my foot that I look down to see him trying to get my underwear back on.

I comply automatically as Emmett apologizes over and over.

**Turnabout**

"Emmett." Jasper's voice finally cuts through Emmett's babbling. He closes his mouth with a squeak. Jasper and I exchange a glance – and a rueful laugh. "You can open your eyes, man."

Emmett turns around slowly, his eyes still closed. He peeks through one eye and then opens them both, "Oh, thank god…"

Jasper smirks at him. "Now you know how I felt, huh?"

"That was different!" Emmett splutters. "I… we… you…"

Jasper laughs again and slips his arm around my waist. Unable to resist, I smile at Emmett. "Just be glad Jasper likes appetizers."

Emmett's mouth drops open, working wordlessly.

**Dating**

After a few seconds of awkward silence, Emmett clears his throat in an attempt to gather himself. He frowns as he looks between us as if trying to figure something out. "So err... you two friends with benefits or something?"

"Fuck no!" Jasper says, drawing me a little closer.

Emmett scratches the back of his neck. "But-"

Jasper rolls his eyes. "We only just started dating, Em. As in, today?"

"Oh," he says. His eyes widen suddenly. "Man, you're even easier than your sister! Even _she_ didn't give head on _our_ first date!"

This time, it's our turn to gape.

**Warning**

Jasper recovers first. "Dude, you are in sooo much shit when I tell Rosalie…"

Emmett's eyes bulge. "You wouldn't! Come on, Jazz…" he nearly whines.

"He won't," I say quickly, ignoring the look Jasper shoots me. "As long as you keep _your_ mouth shut about us."

Jasper grins as Emmett practically pouts. "Come on! You know I can't keep this to myself. Everybody's gonna find out anyway."

"Yeah, they are," Jasper says, squeezing me closer. "From us. Got it?"

Emmett sighs, his face torn between acceptance and the obvious excitement of the secret he holds. "Yeah, yeah… I got it."

**Phone**

Emmett's eyes dart around the kitchen as he clears his throat. "Right. Well... Obviously you two are ahh... okay. So... did you guys want to come over for dinner, or what? That's what Rose sent me over for anyway..."

He frowns, but then his eyebrows shoot up as he grins. "By the way, Jazz, if you hadn't forgotten your phone over at our place, none of this," he gestures inclusively before digging Jasper's phone out of his pocket and tossing it to him, "would've happened."

"Thanks," Jasper answers wryly, then grins. "But I think we're staying in. Appetizers 'n all."

**Withdraw**

The kitchen is silent for a moment before Emmett suddenly catches Jasper's meaning. "Uhh… yeah. Alright, I'm just gonna… yeah. Have fun with… that." He recovers by the end, throwing us a devilish grin.

He disappears quickly, though, and Jasper chuckles at my side. He turns to face me, putting both hands on my hips as he kisses me softly. I sigh against his lips, losing myself in his embrace for a moment.

When he pulls away, he says, "So… did you want to finish what we started or..?

"Yes, but…"

He grins. "Yeah, I know. After dinner?"

I nod.

**Forward**

Jasper goes to lock the doors while I continue prepping the food. When he comes back, he kisses me and winks before setting back to work himself.

Throughout the evening, we joke about what happened and talk about what we can expect – both from our friends and each other.

After dinner, we wash the dishes. When the last plate's put away, Jasper snaps the towel against my ass, grinning. "Dessert?"

Wiggling my eyebrows, I tilt my head to his bedroom. He still hasn't shown me his favorite, but I'm looking forward to finding out eventually.

We've got nothin' but time.


	38. A Light in the Darkness

**A/N: **Happy Birthday,_**Sessahhh**_! We hope you have a fantastic day.

As ever, we do not own Twilight - it owns us.

**ooOoo**

**Miss**

I'm grateful for all the people who have shown up for her vigil, but being surrounded by candles and people I barely know makes me miss her that much more. She was the only person who ever got me.

And now she's gone.

I can't let myself focus on it too long, but there's nothing to distract me. People come up to me in an endless stream, offering condolences to me and condemnation for Royce King.

I wish they knew that every word is a knife to my heart, no matter their intention.

I'll never see her again.

I shiver.

**Found**

Suddenly, warm arms envelop me in a hug. Automatically, my arms go around his waist, and I burrow my face into his neck.

Edward rubs my back, whispering soothingly, "I got you, J. I'm here. Let it out, sweetheart."

The tears won't be held back anymore, and I let them out freely, secure in the knowledge that my best friend's with me, taking care of me.

I've not allowed anyone else to give me this comfort. Only him.

Right now, I need him so much, it scares me a little. Still, it feels _good_ to be held by him. Safe.

**Quiet**

I don't wonder where he's taking me. I just follow, my head down as he slips his arm around my waist. He's always been affectionate, but since Rosalie's death, he's never with me unless he's touching me somehow.

I crave it.

Resting my head on his shoulder, I put my arm around his waist. I focus on putting one foot in front of the other, concentrating so hard that I'm surprised when Edward steps away.

He opens the passenger door of his car, and then he's back, helping me inside. I feel strangely like an invalid, but I don't care.

**Drive**

The second I'm buckled up, I close my eyes, not caring where we're going. The drive is spent in complete silence. No radio, no talking. Nothing.

I try not to think, try to keep my mind blank now that I'm away from all those people. Away from the words that are meant to soothe but only end up hurting me more.

When we pull to a stop, Edward kills the engine and puts his hand on my knee, whispering, "We're here, Jazz. C'mon, let's get you inside?"

Following him, I only realize we're at his place once I step inside.

**Bed**

Just inside his bedroom door, he hesitates. "Sorry. I…" He runs his fingers through his hair, sighing.

It's enough to make me look at him curiously – the most emotion other than loss I've felt in days.

His shoulders relax as he reaches out and squeezes my hand. "You've been through so much. I thought maybe you wouldn't want to sleep alone."

Something in his tone – and in the offer – brings tears to my eyes. My face crumples as I try to fight them, but then a sob breaks from my chest.

"Oh, Jazz," Edward whispers, wrapping me in his arms.

**Comfort**

We stand there for a while as he tries to comfort me, to calm me down.

When the tears finally stop, I wipe my face, huffing. I'm sick of crying, but I can't seem to stop. The pain of losing my sister – my _twin_ – is just too raw. I don't know how to cope without her.

If she'd been sick or something, that would've been one thing, but I never even got to say goodbye to her thanks to Royce.

Anger flares briefly again, but fades just as quickly. I just don't have the energy to keep it up anymore.

**Pull**

"Are you tired?" Edward asks.

I take a shuddering breath and nod, although I can't imagine sleeping right now. It's not that I'm not tired. It's that every time I close my eyes, I see her. Sleep has been impossible for days.

I stand there, numb, as I watch him wander around the room, opening drawers and pulling out sleeping pants and t-shirts. I wish I could tell him how much this means to me – his acceptance and support. Rosalie was the only one in my family who stood by me when I came out, and now I've lost that.

**Change**

He hands me clothes. I automatically take them from him, and then I just stand there, staring stupidly at them. I know what I'm supposed to be doing, but I can't seem to make myself move.

Gently, Edward tugs me to the bathroom where he starts undressing me with more care than I'd ever imagined. All I can do is watch as he takes off my clothes and carefully folds them and puts them on the counter. Then he guides me into the pants before pulling the T-shirt over my head.

He sighs quietly, running his fingers through my hair.

**Guide**

He leads me to his bed, never letting go of my hand. There, he pulls back the covers and helps me lie down.

Then he hesitates.

"J… if you want me to sleep on the couch, I'll-"

"No!" I cut him off, somehow panicked at the thought. I can't explain why, but I _want_ to sleep beside him. I want to be safe in his arms and know that I'm not alone.

More than that, I want it to be Edward who's with me.

I'm confused by that realization, but only mildly so. On some level, it just makes sense.

**Warm**

Edward crawls under the covers, too, switching his light off before opening his arms to me. I willingly fall into his welcoming arms, resting my head on his chest as he holds me close.

His fingers trail soothing circles over my back, and I swear I can feel his lips press into my hair.

Neither of us says a word.

Closing my eyes, I allow myself to be here, to let my emotions run the gamut, secure in knowing Ed'll be there.

For the first time since receiving the news about my sister, I fall asleep easily, uninterrupted by nightmares.

**Midnight**

I wake in the middle of the night, shivering although it's anything but cold. I try at first to breathe deeply, to calm myself down, but it's no use. I just…

I _need__._

Edward is snoring lightly beside me, and I reach out, my hand flat on his chest. I'm filled with an overwhelming urge to hold him, to be held by him.

To kiss him.

I can't find my voice to wake him, so I move closer and lift up onto one elbow, pressing my lips against his cheek. He stirs and murmurs, his hips shifting on the bed.

**Surprise**

Shifting closer to him, I can't seem to help myself as I nuzzle and kiss his neck, whispering, "Please," over and over.

I'm not entirely sure what I'm asking.

By the time my hand starts to roam over his chest, Edward wakes, lifting his head groggily. "Jazz? What-?"

Closing my eyes, I croak, "Ed, please. Need to feel something... Don't want to just _hurt_ anymore. Please..."

Cupping my cheek, he frowns. "Jasper..."

I turn my head and kiss his palm, murmuring, "_Please_, Ed..."

I can't explain myself. I don't understand what's going on, either. I just know I need... something.

**Check**

"Jasper, honey, you're upset…" Edward begins, his voice soft and soothing.

It makes me want to scream.

"I _know_ I'm upset," I explode. My voice sounds loud in the dark silence of the room, and I take a deep breath to control myself. "I don't want to be anymore," I whisper, my lips ghosting along his jaw. "Help me forget… please…"

I hear his sharp intake of breath before he turns on his side. His hand rests on my hip as he whispers, "Jazz, are you sure?"

I sense him caving, and I don't even think. I just kiss him.

**Build**

He's hesitant, but before long, he's kissing me back. I moan, closing my eyes as I tilt my head to deepen the kiss and allow his tongue access to my mouth.

My hands roam, through his hair all the way down to his ass and back, over and over, pulling him closer as I go.

Edward's placid at first, keeping one hand on my lower back, the other gently against the nape of my neck.

Gripping his hip, I roll mine into his and shiver as our cocks meet, despite the fabric between them.

I want – _need_ – more.

He whimpers.

**Roll**

He's still holding back – I can feel him right on the edge, but he won't let go. I roll onto my back, pulling him with me.

When he settles on top of me with his knees on either side of my hips, I can suddenly feel _all_ of him. I give a low moan as Edward murmurs, "Oh my _god_, Jasper…"

My name is a caress on his lips, which roam my skin enthusiastically. His hips rock against mine, sending delicious shivers of pleasure through my body. His hands grasp my chest through my shirt as his lips claim mine.

**Strip**

I tug at the hem of his shirt, needing it off – to feel his skin against mine. He complies, lifting up to shed his shirt, tossing it away. I take the opportunity to do the same with mine before pulling him roughly back.

As soon as his chest touches mine, I sigh in something close to relief. He feels warm, soft and hard at the same time. Right.

Here.

His lips find mine again, insistent this time. Deeper. Harder.

Still, I need more.

Bucking my hips again, I whisper hoarsely, "Please, Ed?"

His eyes search mine in the dim light.

**Naked**

Our pants tangle in the sheets as we shrug out of them. I watch as Edward shifts to his knees, running his fingers through his hair. He's unbelievably beautiful, but it's the heat in his eyes that takes my breath away.

"Are you sure, Jasper?" he whispers, his hands skimming my thighs. "This could change everything…" He trails off, leaving me unsure of what _he_ wants.

I know what I want, though.

"I need you, Edward. Please…"

My voice sounds weak to my own ears, and Edward's expression softens. Something flits across his eyes before his warm body covers mine.

**Whisper**

He kisses me, his fingers caressing every bit of skin he can find before pulling away again.

He leans over, rummaging through his nightstand drawer. Straightening up, he swallows hard and, with a nod from me, starts to prepare us both.

The sting of his fingers stretching me is exactly what I crave. It helps me _feel_ again.

I reach for him, needing to hold him, be as close as I can.

He's pressed against my entrance as he whispers softly, "I love you, Jasper," and pushes into me.

Something in his voice, the reverence of his action, fills me.

**Shift**

Our bodies move as one, my hips lifting smoothly to meet his thrusts. His lips never leave me, trailing kisses along my chest and neck, only to meet my lips before journeying again. Neither of us speaks, but I give him all of me – and I can feel him do the same.

For the first time since Rosalie's death, she is not at the forefront of my mind.

Instead, I am filled with wonder and confusion, struggling desperately to understand. I know what I feel – love, devotion, attraction, passion. What I don't know is why I never recognized it before.

**Communion**

It dawns on me that Edward feels those things, too, and I wonder if he knows. And if he does, how long he's known it for.

We've never been with each other before, but I _know_ Edward. I know that he's an affectionate guy, but what he's showing me goes way beyond that.

As he brings me closer to release, I realize that he's – that _we're _making love. That thought alone is enough to pull my orgasm from me, and as my seed spills, so do my tears.

Only this time, I'm not sure _why_ I'm crying – but it's freeing.

**Release**

Edward watches me with a mixture of panic and desperation. "I'm fine," I whisper, my voice choked.

Trying to convey what I really feel, I pull his face to mine, kissing him passionately. He moans, his hips speeding, and I can sense that he's walking that border, so close to pure pleasure.

"Come for me, beautiful," I whisper, my voice gruff from tears and exertion. "Please… let me give you that. Let me see you…"

His searing kiss cuts off my stream of words as his rhythm falters. He drives into me, his hips bucking wildly before he cries, "Jasper!"

**Truth**

Edward's arms tremble as he tries to stay upright. Wrapping my arms around him, I pull him closer, heedless of the mess as I kiss his temple.

My tears flow freely, and I can feel several puzzle pieces slide home while I hold him. I close my eyes, hearing Edward's earlier words echo in my mind.

"_This could change everything…"_

I realize that he was right. Everything _has_ changed. Edward's been my best friend for well over a decade. My strength, my salvation. My partner in so many ways.

Is it possible for us to end up so much more?

**Care**

Exhaustion sets in again, leaving me weak. I want so badly to talk to Edward, to tell him what I'm feeling, but something holds me back – I don't know if it's fear of rejection or just absolute fatigue.

Whatever it is, I stay silent as Edward slips out of bed. He returns with a warm cloth and gently cleans my face before turning to the rest of my body. Watching him consumes me, and I notice things I never have before – like the freckle by his ear and the scar beneath his jaw.

And the reverent way he loves me.

**Sleep**

I'm out the minute he kisses my forehead and goes back to the bathroom, not waking again until hours later. It takes me awhile to figure out where I am, but once I find Edward's alarm clock, my eyes fly wide.

_11:42 AM__?_

Edward isn't here, so I get up, pulling my pajama pants on with a blush as I recall the night before. Walking around his place – so familiar – is strange, somehow. I finally find him in the kitchen, quietly working at the stove.

Taking a deep breath, I catch the aroma of Edward's special blend coffee and smile.

**Morning**

Standing there for a minute, I watch the play of his muscles under his shirt as he stirs something in a pan before flipping a pancake. He's so confident and comfortable, and I feel an overwhelming sense of love and… _rightness_ as I watch him.

_How did it take me so long__?_

I have no answer for that. All I know is that I feel like I belong with him – and I want to tell him.

I take a steadying breath and walk across the tiled floor, straight to him. Wrapping my arms around his waist, I kiss his cheek.

**Breakfast**

He takes a sharp breath but almost immediately relaxes into me, closing his eyes briefly.

"Morning, sleepyhead," he teases gently, patting my arm before turning his attention back to his cooking.

He flips the pancakes onto a plate, pouring more batter on the griddle. He half-turns to me then, cupping my cheek as he searches my eyes. "I'm glad you finally got some sleep, J. How are you holding up?"

At that, I close my eyes and sigh. Opening them, I give him a half-smile. "A little better now, thanks to you."

Edward runs his fingers through my hair, smiling.

**Sit**

We dish up our own food and carry our plates to the table. As I sit, Edward goes back to the refrigerator and returns with two glasses of orange juice.

"Thanks," I murmur, taking a sip.

As caring as he's being, I feel like something's… not fake, exactly, but there's an elephant in the room. It doesn't take a genius to find it.

Putting down my glass, I take a deep breath. "Ed? Can I ask you something?"

"Of course, J," he answers as he breaks off a piece of bacon.

"How long have you been in love with me?"

**Pause**

Edward freezes mid-bite, staring at me with wide, mildly panicky eyes. Swallowing his bacon, he takes a quick drink of his orange juice and clears his throat.

"I, err... a few years," he says quietly, blushing to the roots of his hair. He looks down at his plate as he adds, "Since before Jacob."

_A few years?_

"Why? Why didn't you ever say anything?" I whisper, frowning.

He sighs, running his fingers through his hair as he meets my gaze. He leans forward, resting his elbows on the table. He looks... resigned, somehow.

"Because you were happy," he says simply.

**Amend**

_What do I say to that__?_

Before I manage to form a response, he clears his throat. "And I was chickenshit." When my eyes meet his, he sighs. "I was afraid to lose you, Jasper. The thought of not having you in my life at all was so much worse than being jealous and feeling lonely and…"

He trails off with a shrug. I put my hand on his knee, squeezing lightly. "I didn't know," I say honestly. Shifting out of my seat, I kiss the corner of his mouth. "But you were right…" I whisper, "last night changed everything."

**Hope**

He smiles softly as he reaches his hand across the table, palm up in invitation. Laying my hand in his, I squeeze lightly, my eyes locked with his.

"I'm sorry if I made you uncomfortable last night, Ed. For pushing so hard for you to... you know." I blush.

Ed frowns, opening his mouth to speak, but I talk over him quickly, "I'm not saying I'm sorry it happened – because I'm not. I don't know why I never saw, Edward, but I do now."

His eyes flicker between mine, and I see a new light shining in his green irises.

**Cryptic**

"Don't apologize, Jasper," he says firmly. "I… well, I can't say it's how I thought it might happen, but I'm damn glad it did. You have no idea."

"I think I have _some_ idea," I tease. For the first time in what seems like ages, I feel _alive_ again – more, I feel like I have something to live for.

"Maybe so," he says before I can speak. "Jasper, just… whatever happens, however you feel later, just know I won't regret it. Ever. I know you needed comfort last night, and I'm thankful I was able to share that with you."

**Argue**

I stare at him for several seconds, letting his words run through my mind, analyzing them. When his meaning hits me, I jerk my hand back to my chest as I scowl at him.

"Don't. Don't you _dare_, Edward."

He opens his mouth in protest, but I cut him off, shaking my head. "No. Don't sell me – sell _us_ – short like that and tell me that I don't know what I'm feeling. That I'm going to change my mind."

He has the decency to blush as he closes his eyes and looks away.

"Last night _meant_ something to me, Ed."

**Everything**

"_You_ mean something to me. Damn it, you mean _everything_ to me. Don't you know that?"

He swallows before opening his eyes. "I know you mean everything to me," he says brokenly, "and I know you love me. But, Jasper… you just lost your sister. You're hurting and vulnerable right now, and I don't want you to make any decisions you might regret later."

Pain flares in my chest at the mention of Rosalie, echoed by the hurt I feel at the rest of his words. Breathing deeply, I say, "Listen to me very carefully. I'm. In. Love. With. You."

**Fear**

Something flickers in his eyes and he looks away again, clearly unconvinced. Or afraid to be.

Sighing, I scrub my face. "Ed... I get that you're worried about me not thinking clearly and shit. I do. But you have to understand something. As much as some things have gone completely crazy and I don't know what'll happen next without Rose-" I falter, breathing quickly. "Without Rosalie... losing her has put other things in sharp focus."

Reaching for his hand again, I whisper, "Ed... last night. You got all of me. Far as I'm concerned, we made _love_, plain and simple."

**Waver**

He watches me silently. I know him so well that I can follow the battle that takes place behind his eyes – hope and want warring with his fear and sense of self-preservation.

I try to wait patiently, but I just can't. I stand up, moving beside him, where I kneel. "Sweetheart, you've been my partner for so long now. You're the one I always run to, the one I want to talk to about everything. I was an idiot for not seeing it before, but you're all I want. Please… please, take a chance on me."

"Jasper…" he whispers softly.

**Kiss**

He shifts in his seat to face me, cradles my face in both hands, and leans down to kiss me with such tenderness that I almost melt.

My eyes close, my hands rest on his thighs, and I tilt my head, sighing into the kiss.

We sit like that for god knows how long before he pulls away with a small, content smile.

"Jasper," he whispers again, brushing his thumbs across my cheekbones.

"Edward," I start, but he puts a finger on my lips.

"There's nothing in the world I want more than to be with you. I'm yours, sweetheart."

**Reassure**

This time, I'm the one to watch him warily, scanning his face for any sign that he's unsure. He stands, pulling me up so our chests are pressed together as he holds me close.

"I believe you," he whispers. "I promise you that I'm in this completely. You've been my world for years."

I bury my face in his neck, whispering my own devotion in return. Inhaling deeply, I close my eyes, adjusting to this one beautiful change that was born from a terrible tragedy. I know that I will never forget Rosalie – just as I'll never be without Edward.


	39. Heat of the Moment

**A/N: **Happy Birthday, _**PolkaDotMama**_! We hope you have a wonderful day.

As ever, we do not own Twilight - it owns us.

**ooOoo**

**Warm**

Sprawled in the grass, I watch the heat rising in waves from the blacktop. I can't make myself move, so I just stay here, soaking up the sun while sweat pours down my face. I half-doze, the warmth lulling me to sleep until a shadow crosses my eyelids.

"Nice," a voice murmurs.

I squint up, grinning when I catch sight of Edward's messy auburn hair. "Hey… what are you doing here?"

He drops to the ground beside me, sitting Indian-style. "It's baking out here," he complains. "Thought I'd buy you a snow cone."

"Big spender," I tease, bumping his shoulder.

**Leave**

He chuckles, bumping my shoulder right back. "Anything for you, Seth. Sky's the limit... as long as it's no more than two bucks."

Throwing my head back, I laugh. That's my Edward.

Patting his thigh, I grin. "Alright, sugardaddy, take me shopping."

He smirks, getting to his feet. He holds his hand out to help me up but pulls me harder than I expect so I land in his arms. He wiggles his eyebrows and kisses me before letting me go.

I stare at him, slightly dazed as I touch my lips with my fingertips.

Edward blushes, taking my hand.

**Surprised**

I feel a little exposed, walking down the street that way, but I don't pull my hand from his. It feels too good.

Still, I take a deep breath, steeling myself. When I came out last year, it was bad enough – and that was in the abstract. Facing the world with a boyfriend is something completely different.

When I look at his auburn curls and that one little dimple, though, I just go stupid. I couldn't hurt him for anything.

What catches me off guard is that he's always been just as shy about being affectionate in public.

Not anymore.

**Hum**

Edward hums softy to himself as we stroll down the promenade, a shy smile on his lips as he squeezes my hand.

Stopping in front of the snow cone cart, he pulls his wallet out with a flair and winks at me before ordering one for each of us; lime for him, and cherry-flavored for me.

The woman serving us our cones has a bemused smile on her face as she hands them to us. "Hope you get some sugar from your boyfriend for being so sweet," she teases him.

Both Edward and I blush as he stutters his thanks.

**Solemn**

We walk side-by-side in silence, automatically heading to the bridge. The ice freezes my lips, melting to drip over my hand, and I can't help but smile at the sweet taste.

Edward's lost in thought, eating his snow cone mechanically. I sigh. Whatever courage he had this morning seems to have disappeared, probably because of the lady's teasing.

When we get to the old, unused bridge, I sit in my favorite place, sprawling my legs out in front of me. Edward stands, leaning with his elbows on the railing.

I bump his knee with my elbow. "Hey. Talk to me."

**Normal**

"Hmm?" He blinks and looks down at me as if he was just a million miles away. He gives me a half-smile. "Oh, nothing. I just..."

He shrugs, gazing out over the bridge again as he continues.

"We're gonna be going back to school soon... I guess I just wanted to..." he pauses, frowning as he turns his eyes to me again. "I don't want to hide anymore, Seth. I wanna show them that... that I love you. I want to be able to do what everyone else does, you know? Go dancing, hold hands, kiss whenever."

He shrugs again.

**Agree**

"I like the sound of that," I answer.

"Yeah?" he says, sounding surprised.

"Yeah, definitely." We smile at each other before I add, "Only… no dancing. Two left feet."

He looks at me skeptically. "Bullshit. I've seen you run track, and you're amazing on the basketball court."

I grin. "Yeah, but turn music on and… watch out. Drunken flamingo on the loose."

He barks out a laugh and leans down, kissing me softly. When he starts to pull away, I catch him, pulling him closer.

When we part, I playfully say, "I'll make out with you under the bleachers, though."

**Groan**

Edward closes his eyes, groaning. "Se-eth! No fair..."

Chuckling, I kiss him again, brushing the backs of my fingers along his cheek. "Sorry, sweetheart," I murmur, though I'm not, really.

Unless you count being sorry we're not somewhere more private right now.

As it is, there isn't much I'd do here. It's one thing to want to be out and proud, but another thing entirely to molest my boyfriend for all to see.

I grin as an idea forms. "Hey, babe? Want to go to my place and hang out in Claire's playhouse? She won't be home for two days..."

**Glint**

His eyes glimmer as he watches me. "Yes," he says immediately – no questions, no reservations.

I grin up at him, and he kisses me once more before pulling me to my feet.

As we start walking, I take his hand. "You really want everyone to know you're with me?"

"Of course," he answers. "Seth... I know it won't be as easy for us as for other people, but... I want this with you. I'm not going to spend my life hiding. You know?"

"Yeah... I do." I elbow him, grinning. "So where're you taking me for our first real date?"

**Tease**

His eyes widen slightly in surprise before narrowing in thought. "Not sure. Will have to think on that," he muses.

I pout. "Oh, come on. You've never thought about that?"

I know _I_ have dreamed of where to go, all the things we could do. Some more romantic, like taking him on a picnic. Others just for fun, like playing lasertag, and everything in between.

We've never really talked about this before, though, so I have no idea on how he feels on the subject.

He grins, casting me a sideways look. "I didn't say that, did I?"

I huff.

**Race**

He laughs, squeezing my hand as we turn onto my street. I stop in my tracks, and he's forced to turn around and look at me.

"You okay?"

I nod. "Was just thinking… I don't want to hide anymore, but…" He raises an eyebrow, and I lean close to whisper, "Well, if we want to… ahh… have any fun in the playhouse, we can't exactly go strolling up there together. Ya know?"

He snorts. "True…" He gives me a speculative look and drops my hand. "Race ya!"

Before I can respond, he's taken off, ducking through the alley. I laugh.

**Sweat**

It takes me two seconds before I'm off running, too.

I skip through a neighbor's yard to catch up, jumping their fence to land a few feet from my destination – well out of sight from my house.

Seconds later, Edward's there, too, panting and resting his hands on his knees.

Glancing at me, he chuckles. "Damn, thought for sure I'd beat you this time..."

Grinning, I shake my head. "Not a chance."

Pulling him inside, I press him against the door, kissing him hungrily. We're both sweaty, but I don't really care as I slip my hands under his shirt.

**Alone**

We're both winded from our run, but we don't take the time to catch our breath. Our pants seem loud in the dim playhouse, the wooden walls doing nothing to muffle them. The thrill of possibly getting caught adds some excitement even though I would die if it ever actually happened.

It's unlikely, though, since my mom's at work and my dad's working in his shop in the garage.

Edward's arms lift easily as I pull his shirt over his head. He gets rid of mine, and then his hot hands are on my sides.

"Seth…" he whispers, kissing me.

**Tempt**

We haven't done much yet, besides making out and some heavy-duty, over-the-clothes petting, and maybe a quick hand-job or two, since we're rarely ever truly alone.

But we _are_ alone now.

Continuing to kiss him, I slowly trail my fingers down until they reach his waist. I only pause for a second before popping his button and lowering his zipper, causing Edward to gasp, "Seth-"

"Please?" I whisper against his lips, my eyes searching his. "Want to..." I know it's not playing fair, but I slip my fingers into his briefs, stroking his cock as I ask again. "Please, baby?"

**Bare**

His eyes are wide open as he studies my face. When I tease his balls with my fingertips, he groans. "Oh, fuck… god, please, Seth…"

He doesn't say anything else, but I take that as permission enough. I kiss him hard and then push down his briefs as I drop to my knees, making him hiss.

"Oh my god!" he whispers. "Is that what you-"

His words cut off suddenly as I tentatively lick his head. He leans back against the wall, his hands spread out like they're trying to grab something.

Breathing deeply, I take him between my lips.

**New**

I'm not sure what I'm doing, since I've never been able to sneak online to watch porn. My parents are way too strict for me to even attempt it. I sure as hell have never tried this before – either giving or getting one – but I hope it's good for Edward anyway.

Grasping the base of his cock to hold it steady, I try to take more of him. My lips stutter over his length, pulling uncomfortably.

Frowning, I pull away, trying to figure out how to make him feel good – though, judging from his heavy breathing, it won't take much.

**Lick**

"I think…" Edward whispers. When I glance up at him, his cheeks are flushed. "I… ahh… umm… spit."

His face flames then, and I realize it's partially from embarrassment as well as arousal. His advice sounds good, though – considering what we've done with our hands.

I pull away, spitting in my hand, but before I wrap my fingers around his base again, I lick all over his cock, messy and wet. His fist hits the wall as he groans, "Oh, _fuck_!"

Grinning to myself, I take his cock between my lips again, relishing every moan and whimper.

"You… _goddamn_… amazing…"

**Suck**

Bobbing my head, I suck hard – accidentally, the first time, but at Edward's, "Holy shit... _fuck!_ Oh-" I make a point of repeating the gesture.

I gag but manage to quell the urge quickly, only faltering once before being able to resume.

Edward's fingers weave through my hair, tugging. When I raise my eyes to his, he's looking almost frantic, trying to form words that don't seem to want to come.

Sucking him down as far as I can, he lets out a strangled cry as my mouth suddenly floods with something tangy and salty and the consistency of tapioca.

**Panic**

I gag as I pull away, slapping my hand over my mouth. As I'm looking for somewhere safe to spit it out, I swallow reflexively.

_Oh, god..._

I shudder as I turn back around, trying to compose myself. Despite the surprise, I'm feeling pretty damn proud of myself, but I want to make sure Edward really _liked _it.

He's standing just where I left him, slumped against the wall with his eyes closed and a huge smile on his face.

"Holy fuck, Seth," he whispers.

He reaches for me blindly and wraps his arms around me when I step close.

**Worth**

Edward nuzzles his face into my neck, placing soft kisses there and humming contentedly. We stand like that as he comes down from his high.

"Thank you," he murmurs, pressing his lips to my pulse point before pulling away to look at me, his eyes shining bright and his cheeks still flushed a beautiful crimson. "That was... amazing. _You're_ amazing. I love you, Seth."

Unable to contain my grin, I kiss him chastely, not sure about how I'd taste after having swallowed. I shudder at the remembered taste, but seeing the look on his face almost makes it worth it.

**Timing**

Despite my reluctance, Edward's lips part mine. He moans softly as our tongues brush, and I forget all about bad tastes as his hands grasp my hips. He pops the button on my shorts and slips his hand inside. I groan when his fingertips brush my aching head and-

Edward's phone rings in his pocket.

"Fuck!" he curses, fumbling for it. When he finally gets it to his ear, he sounds breathless. "Hello?"

He listens for a minute, his hand tightening on my hip as he shakes his head in annoyance, rolling his eyes. "Yeah, alright. I'll be there soon."

**Debate**

He hangs up, muttering, "Damn it."

I cup his cheek, trying not to show how much I want to finish what we started. We can't, though.

"It's okay, baby. You should go."

He scowls. "No, it's not okay, Seth," he says, his fingers trailing along my cock. "I want to make you feel good, too. Mom can wait-"

I swallow hard, shaking my head at him as I croak out, "No, n-no... please, Ed, I don't want you to get into trouble."

He squeezes me. "Don't care, Seth... I want to… you know."

"Fuck," I breathe. "You don't play fair."

**Final**

Trying not to whimper, I pull his hand away and silence his argument with a kiss.

When we part, I whisper, "Edward. Go, please. I don't want your mom mad at me, either."

"She doesn't know where I am," he argues.

I raise an eyebrow. "Yeah, I'm sure she can't figure it out."

He glowers. "I don't want to leave you… ahh… hard up."

I smirk. "I'll be alright… and you can make it up to me later."

"Fine, fine," he gives in.

I chuckle as he whispers he loves me and disappears out the door. "I love you, too."


	40. Colloquial Confessions

**A/N: **Happy Birthday, **Hmonster4**! We hope you have a fantastic day.

As ever, we do not own Twilight - it owns us.

**ooOoo**

**Taunt**

I glance into the mirror as I walk by, pausing to straighten my shirt and make sure I look damn good.

I do.

"When's your boy toy getting here?"

"Call him that again, dickhead," I challenge, turning around.

Jasper grins from where he's lounging on my bed. "What? Your b-"

I don't give him another warning. I just lower my shoulder and charge, hitting him square in the ribs. He laughs and punches me in the gut before trying to shove me off.

"Jesus, Emmett. Calm the fuck down! You know I like Edward. Just never seen you this way."

**Retreat**

Grumbling, I get up, straightening my shirt.

Jasper stands before me, his eyes twinkling with mischief as he tugs at my collar, brushes a stray lock of hair out of my face, and pats my chest.

"There, all perfect again for your beau," he says, grinning.

I narrow my eyes at him. Jasper holds his hands up in surrender, laughing. "Alright, alright, I get it. I'm outta here anyway. I don't think I could stomach the love fest that's about to happen here."

He neatly dodges the blow aimed at the back of his head and rushes out the door.

**Wait**

I mutter under my breath as the door closes again, but I'm not really annoyed. Jasper's been my roommate all three years of college, and he's probably the coolest one I could've asked for. We just love to give each other shit.

Thoughts of Jasper are quickly replaced by ones of Edward, though, and I sit on the edge of my bed, chuckling at the picture of us when we first met. My arm's thrown around his shoulders, and he's laughing.

_Who woulda thought the guy I hooked up with at the colloquium would turn out to be… so much__?_

**Impatient**

Tracing my finger along his image, I smile as I think back.

Edward sat down beside me the first day of the colloquium, and we immediately hit it off. During breaks, we talked. Constantly. About everything. It didn't take us long to figure out we were interested... and unattached.

We hooked up that first night. And the next. And the one after that, not caring that we lived in different states.

I've never had such a strong connection as I do with him. I just wish that we lived closer to each other.

"It's been a fucking month!" I mutter.

**Knock**

Vivid memories of our first nights together make me groan as I shift, trying to adjust myself. Since then, we've managed to get together about once a month, and every single time is just as intense as the first.

The days between our visits are spent on the phone or webcam, even though Jasper throws a serious damper on phone sex.

_Asshole_.

My thoughts are suddenly interrupted by a knock on the door, and I can't help but grin. I put the picture back and hop up, going to answer.

When I open the door, he's standing there, smiling broadly.

**Crush**

We stare at each other for all of two seconds before I just can't stand it anymore and pull him to me in a hug so tight, I swear I can hear his bones creak.

Edward laughs, embracing me just as tightly as he kisses me.

_Damn, I've missed his kisses._

Passionate. Demanding. Yielding.

Just like everything else about him.

When we break our kiss, he pulls back, resting his forehead against mine and whispering, "God, I've missed you, Em. I thought today would never get here."

"I know what you mean," I breathe, my thumbs brushing his lower back.

**Manners**

All I want is to throw him on the bed and rediscover every single inch of his body that I've been missing. My hands clench into fists against his back before I kiss him softly, forcing myself to relax.

My mama's old Tennessee manners are so ingrained that I find myself whispering gruffly, "How was your drive? Can I get you something to drink?"

His grin is charming, and I fucking love the amusement in his eyes when he murmurs, "Stopped at a gas station on the way into town… didn't want anything to get in the way of this."

**Question**

I have to fight to keep a straight face. "In the way of what?"

Edward's eyes narrow slightly, then he's pushing forward, forcing me to walk backward until my back hits the wall. He locks the front door and faces me with a gruff, "Of this."

Before I can open my mouth, his lips find mine, and his fingers start to frantically unbutton my shirt.

I whimper into the kiss, needing to feel his skin against mine, but when I start to undo his shirt, he bats my hands away. "E-ed, c'mon," I plead, panting as he nips my neck.

**Focus**

He lifts his head long enough to say, "No."

Then he's pushing my shirt off my shoulders and running the flat of his hand along my chest. His eyes follow everywhere his hand moves, and the hungry look on his face sends a shiver of anticipation down my spine.

When I reach for his shirt again, he catches my wrists. "I said no." His expression lightens as he licks his lips. "My turn."

He puts both my hands on the wall behind me before kissing his way down my chest. When his warm lips close around my nipple, I moan.

**Wet**

Edward continues teasing me with his lips, his teeth, his tongue, until I can't form any coherent thoughts anymore.

All I know is him. All I feel is a building _need_.

My cock's aching. As if drawn to it, Edward's fingers brush along my length a few times before undoing my belt buckle and slowly unbuttoning my jeans. The moment his hand dips inside them, we both moan, "Oh, fuck..."

He swipes his thumb over the tip of my cock before bringing it to his lips, humming appreciatively. His eyes burn into mine. "Fucking love when you go commando, baby."

**Down**

"I know you a-ah-"

My words are cut off abruptly as Edward's mouth closes around my cock. I grab onto the wall, trying to find something solid as he goes straight to work – licking and sucking and teasing and stroking.

Looking down, I see the top of his head, messy auburn hair everywhere, before he turns sideways somehow, and I'm suddenly seeing _everything_. Watching my wet dick slide in and out of his full lips is more than I can take.

Well, after a minute of staring.

I reach down, hooking my hands under his arms as he looks up.

**Determined**

I pull him to his feet, kissing him hard as I kick my jeans all the way off. He's breathless by the time I stop with a triumphant grin on my face.

"Nothin' doing, sweetheart. I'm not coming until you've screamed my name," I whisper in his ear.

He shivers, his breathing hitching in response. I know I've won. Leaving my discarded clothes in the living room – I couldn't give a shit if Jasper comes home and sees them – I lead Edward to my room, locking the door behind us.

This time, I take my turn and undress Edward. Slowly.

**Turn**

His hips shift beneath me, his fingers pulling my hair as he tries to urge me up. "Em, baby… god, please… please come here…"

I lift my head, my eyes locking with his as I suck harder, relishing the way he moans loudly and closes his eyes. When he opens them again, his face is desperate.

Letting his cock slip from my lips, I crawl back up his body, settling between his thighs. Our chests meet as we kiss passionately, and his arms wrap around my waist, his hands squeezing my ass.

How can everything about him feel so right?

**Embrace**

The moment I'm inside him, he wraps his arms tightly around me again even as mine slip under his shoulders. We're as close as we could possibly be, yet we try to be closer with every push and pull of our hips.

Our love-making is slow, our connection deeper than ever before – the time spent apart has heightened everything.

Whispered pleas and words of love are intermixed with soft curses and kisses both languid and passionate.

It's always like this, even better than the last time. Each time we're together, that first crescendo hits harder.

Far too soon, we fall.

**Gentle**

Edward's chest is sweaty under my cheek, but I don't care. I just lie there, catching my breath while I listen to him doing the same.

When his fingers start running through my curls, I lift my head. With my chin on his sternum, I look up to find him smiling. His hand slips down, the back of his fingers brushing my cheek. "You're unbelievable."

I chuckle, but something about the look in his eyes stops me from making a crude comment about my cock. "So are you," I say instead.

"I love being here," he murmurs softly. "With you."

**Open**

Keeping my eyes locked with his, I smile. "I'm glad. I love having you here. I love _you_, Ed."

My heart speeds as I realize what I just said. Neither of us has made any declarations before, but I know as soon as the words are out that they're true. I love him. With all my heart.

The silence between us lengthens. I bite my lip, worried I said too much, too soon.

Finally, he cups my cheek, his eyes shimmering as he whispers, "I love you, too, Emmett. So much."

I kiss him languidly, shifting us to our sides.

**Plan**

When we part, he says, "You do? Really?"

I laugh, pulling him closer. "Yes, really. Wouldn't've said it otherwise…"

"I know. I like that about you." His fingers trail up my spine.

"I wish you didn't have to go back," I mutter.

"Me, too…" he sighs. "One more year."

Lifting my head, I look down at him. "And then what?"

"Whatever we want."

"Hmm…" I brush my lips against his. "I want you."

"I want you, too."

My grin spreads slowly. "Sounds perfect to me."

We kiss softly but deeply, content in the knowledge that – whatever happens – we'll be together.


	41. Happily Ever After

**A/N: **Happy Birthday,_** Tellingmelies**_! We hope you have a wonderful day.

As ever, we do not own Twilight - it owns us.

**ooOoo**

**Proxy**

"Oh Ed, this is _perfect_!" Bella squeals, clapping her hand over her mouth as she studies the decrepit old house that'd look more at home in a Grimm's fairy tale than here in Washington.

Alice grins knowingly at me. I narrow my eyes at her.

_Sneaky minx. I should never have asked her to house-hunt for us._

Alice raises a challenging eyebrow as Bella enters the house to see inside. I want to caution her, worried the roof might fall down or an evil witch jump out from the rafters or some shit.

Alice grabs my arm, shaking her head.

**Promise**

Alice pulls me down to her level to hiss in my ear, "Don't you dare, Ed. I know what you're thinking, but you promised Bella she could pick any place, anywhere for sticking with you during your time overseas. You know how much of a homebody she is. She deserves this."

"But, Alice..."

She interrupts me. "But nothing, Edward. The place isn't as bad as it looks. Emmett and Jasper have already started working on it. Plus Mom's got everything planned out for decorating it. There won't be much left to do by the time you're ready to move in."

**Admonish**

I sigh, running my fingers through my hair and glancing at the window. Bella walks by and shoots me a beaming smile that I barely manage to return.

Alice smacks my arm, glaring at me. "Don't you _dare _spoil this for her. I'm warning you, brother dearest."

Rubbing my arm, I frown down at her. "Okay, okay..."

Alice narrows her eyes at me. "This house'll be perfect when it's finished, Edward. Promise. Bella'll have her creative space. She's been cooped up in cities and apartments for the past five years, Edward. Give her the chance to flow freely, for once."

**Capitulate**

Glancing over at my wife again, I sigh, knowing my sister is right. As usual. Bella _does_deserve a home where she can do what she loves to do – a place that will inspire her work, both her writing and her painting. Looking around the area, I grudgingly admit that this place certainly would do that for her.

Bearing that in mind, I take a deep breath and nod. "You're right, Ali. Suppose you'd better show us around."

Giving her a half-smile, I indicate for her to lead the way. I _almost _miss her triumphant look as she heads inside.

**Envision**

My arm's around Bella as Alice gives the grand tour, explaining how things will look by the time they're done with the place.

Looking down at Bella, I smile as I take in her obvious excitement. She's practically vibrating by the time Alice shows us where Bella's studio will be. Right now it consists of a knocked-out back wall and a wooden skeleton covered by a tarp.

Listening to my sister, I can actually _see _everything take shape in my mind's eye.

Bella steps away to inspect a few things.

"Alice?" I whisper. "Thank you for doing all of this."

**History**

Alice wraps an arm around me, grinning from ear to ear. "You're welcome. Anything for Bella, you know that. Though I'm not so sure you deserve all of this – or Bella, for that matter," she teases.

I chuckle. Alice and Bella were friends long before Bella even knew I existed – or I her, for that matter. We were worlds apart back in high school, but eventually things changed. Once we found each other, we'd become inseparable, much to my sister's dismay at the time.

"Love you, too, Alice," I murmur as I muss her hair up, earning me another glare.

**Internet**

Some of Bella's excitement begins to rub off on me, but I still have one concern – not a small one, considering my work's heavily dependent on it.

"Alice?" I whisper.

Her eyes are glued on Bella, who's pouring over the plans for the renovation. "Hmm?"

"Tell me… does the internet reach all the way out to Hansel and Gretel's house?"

Alice blinks up at me in confusion until my words register, then she smacks my chest – hard. "Oh, you!" she huffs. "Yes, Edward, they're supposed to be here in about a week to install your precious internet; don't you worry."

**Covered**

"You really think I would've forgotten about that?" She huffs in indignation, crossing her arms over her chest.

"Sorry, Ali. It's just... so _remote_... and my work..."

Sighing, I run my fingers through my hair again, my eyes darting around the place before settling back on Alice.

She rolls her eyes, grumbling, "I've got your back, Ed. Always have, always will – you should know that by now."

Hugging her, I mutter an apology. I _do _know that, and I really should've known better than to think she'd forget the requirements we'd given her when we first asked for her help.

**Forever**

Bella calls us over to talk about the plans. I mostly listen as they plot, content to leave them to it. They know my needs, and I know they'll keep them in mind as they design Bella's dream home.

At one point, Bella frowns, her fingers trailing over the kitchen drawings.

"What's the matter, sweetheart?" I ask, rubbing her shoulders.

She looks up at me, worried. "This is gonna be so expensive, Edward. I'm not sure I-"

I shake my head. "I don't care, love. This'll be our forever home. I want you to love it. We'll figure it out."

**Surprise**

Alice's phone rings. She steps away to answer, talking quietly. When she hangs up, she turns to us, beaming. "That was Mom. She just called to-"

She stops abruptly, wide-eyed, gasping as she clamps a hand over her mouth. Bella and I both stare at her.

"Oops. Never mind. It's supposed to be a surprise, so let's keep it that way, okay? Anyway! She says to, and I quote, 'get your butts in gear or dinner'll be spoiled!'"

Alice giggles.

As we lock the door, Bella kisses my cheek. "Thanks, Edward. For everything."

I smile. "Anything for you, my Bella."


	42. The Sweetest Torture

**A/N: **Happy Birthday,_**Coolbreeeze**_! We hope you have a fantastic day.

As ever, we do not own Twilight - it owns us.

**ooOoo**

**Plan**

Biting my lip, I glance at my watch, then at the numbers slowly moving on the display outside the elevator.

"C'mon, c'mon!" I mumble under my breath.

It's almost six on the dot, and Jasper said to be home on time tonight, stating he had something special planned for my birthday. He refused to tell me what, exactly, just that he wanted to make one of my fantasies come true.

I have many.

_Ding!_

"Finally!"

I'm startled at how loud my voice sounds. Hurrying inside the lift, I press the button for the top floor and begin the excruciating wait.

**Note**

"Jasper?" I call out the second I open the door. Nothing.

Spotting the large vase with blood-red roses – my favorites – in the middle of the table in the foyer, I smile. Putting my attaché and jacket down on the table, I lean in to smell the flowers, inhaling deeply.

It's then that I see the folded note with my name on it. Picking it up, I unfold it.

_Edward,_

_Take a hot shower using the things laid out for you – _all_ of them. After, lie face up and spread-eagled on the bed. Wait for me. Do _not_ get dressed._

_Jasper_

**Curious**

I carry the note as I walk to our room, undressing as I go. I try calling for him again, but still no answer.

Despite being anxious about what he might've planned for tonight, I take my time to go through my routine. If I don't, I know I'll just end up stressing myself out over it later, and I want to be able to enjoy whatever is coming.

My eyes widen when I step into the bathroom and see the array of things laid out for me.

Salt scrub. Shaving cream. Shaver... and another note?

_E. Shave. Everywhere. J._

**Bare**

My heart speeds as I consider his words. I've never shaven myself down _there_ before, but I mentioned something to Jasper a few weeks ago about being intrigued by it – if a little hesitant to try. The idea of anything _sharp _that close to my junk was a little off-putting to me.

Deciding to push my issues to the side and follow Jasper's instructions to the letter, I set about taking my shower, trying not to let my thoughts drift where they shouldn't.

It feels...different... being bare. I can feel _everything_, it seems.

I shiver in anticipation as I finish.

**Anticipation**

Walking to our bed, I wonder again what's in store. I know it'll be good, whatever it is, because Jasper _always _makes things good for me – for both of us. When he decides to bring one of my fantasies to life – or his own, for that matter – he never fails to put everything in it.

Tonight'll be no different.

Crawling in bed, I sit at the headboard before remembering my instructions. There's no indication of what's coming, which heightens my anticipation exponentially as I spread my legs and lie there, waiting.

"You please me, Edward. You did exactly as instructed."

**Disapproval**

My head snaps around at the sound of Jasper's voice, and I start to get up.

Jasper's eyes narrow, his face and voice immediately showing his disapproval. "I did not give you permission to move, pet. Do I really need to start off by punishing you?"

I freeze, my heart dropping at the thought that I disappointed him. Slowly, I lower myself on the bed, not speaking – he hasn't told me I could answer.

His lips twitch, but he schools his features quickly. "Much better," he murmurs as he steps up to the bed.

_I can't believe he's doing this._

**Understand**

Jasper walks around the bed, his eyes feasting on my body. I shiver as his fingers trail teasingly over my thighs, lingering around my balls and cock.

"Very good, my pet," he praises quietly.

My arms twitch with the need to reach out to him. He sees it and quirks an eyebrow in challenge.

I still immediately.

He nods approvingly even as his fingers wrap lightly around my hardening cock. Using agonizingly light strokes, he watches me closely and murmurs, "Do not move, pet. Do you understand? You may speak."

"Yes, Sir," I hiss as he squeezes suddenly.

"Good boy."

**Perfect**

My eyes follow Jasper as he walks to the other side of the room and searches the dresser. He's wearing my favorite pair of tight, stone-washed jeans and a white T-shirt that clings to his body. His feet are bare; his hair's tied back by a leather thong.

In other words, he's perfection personified.

My mind and heart are racing as I try to come to grips with what's happening. Especially when I see Jasper hold up several strips of cloth as he walks back to me.

_Oh shit, he's _really_ doing this?_

I'd fantasized about it plenty, but this?

**Strip**

My breath hitches several times as Jasper's fingers trail along my body while he makes his way around the bed, tying each limb to a bedpost. My cock's already straining and leaking pre-come onto my stomach, and he's barely touched me at all.

Jasper steps away, standing by the window. The light streaming in makes him seem to glow. Slowly, he pulls his shirt up and over his head, tossing it toward me. It lands right by my face – I can _smell _him on it.

His hands roam his chest and abs, tweaking his nipples. His eyes lock with mine.

**Promise**

He moans and continues teasing himself. His head lolls back, and I can see his cock hardening in his jeans. With every pass downward, he palms his erection.

I'm entranced by the sight. I tug uselessly at my bonds in my desire to reach out and touch him. _I _want to coax those sounds from him.

"Fuck," I breathe without thinking.

Jasper's head snaps up, his voice hoarse but firm. "Careful, pet. If you're a good boy, I _might_ let you touch me. If you're _very _good, I might even allow you to come."

I whimper, unable to contain myself.

**Control**

Part of me's amazed he's able to stay in his role.

The other part just desperately needs to be good. To do as he wants. To please him.

Everything else is forgotten when his fingers slowly undo his jeans. He lets them pool at his feet, leaving him in tented boxers.

I can _see _the wet spot there, and I have to struggle to remain silent. I need to taste him.

Jasper grins knowingly, hooking his thumbs in his waistband and lowering his boxers. His cock stands proudly at attention as he straightens up, his smoldering eyes fixed on mine.

**Taunt**

Taking himself in hand, he pumps his shaft leisurely. "See what you do to me, pet? Such a good boy you are. Do you want a taste? You may speak."

"Please," I whisper. "Please, Sir."

I try to tell him with my eyes everything I'm unable to verbalize. His slow grin lets me know he understands.

The bed dips as he kneels with one leg by my head. I want to reach for him, to crane my neck in order to get to his beautiful cock, mere inches from my face, but just out of reach.

Jasper watches me carefully.

**Reward**

He works his shaft slowly. I bite my tongue, struggling to keep from making a sound. Finally, he murmurs, "You can taste, pet, here..."

Swiping his thumb across his slit, he brings it to my lips. "Open," he says.

I moan when his thumb presses into my mouth, the taste and smell of him making me thirst for more. Taking a chance, I curl my tongue around his digit, sucking lightly and teasing him the way I would his cock.

He groans in response. "Such a good boy," he rasps.

I feel a strange sense of pride at his words.

**Sting**

He leans in, holding my face in both hands before claiming my lips with a demanding kiss. I give him everything I can, wanting so much more. I ache to touch him.

He pulls away.

My hands strain against my bonds as I follow, not ready to end our kiss.

A sharp _smack _on my thigh brings me up short. I shrink against my pillow at the disapproval in Jasper's eyes.

He climbs onto the bed, straddling my chest, his dick inches from my face. He grips my hair tightly. "Open."

I obey. He presses his cock into my mouth.

**Deny**

Rocking his hips, he pulls my hair roughly. "I was going to let you pleasure me, boy. Let you make me come. You just lost that privilege," he says gruffly, fucking my face.

I'm surprised at the stab of disappointment I feel, my eyes stinging as I realize he won't give me his release now.

Determined, I work to make this good for him, praying he'll reward me after all.

His movements become more relentless as he gets closer, but I take it all. We've had rougher sex.

When I'm sure he's there, he pulls out, denying me – and himself.

**Restrain**

His eyes are on mine as he regains his control. I find I can't look away. His face is flushed, his hair disheveled, and his eyes are shining brightly, a soft smile teasing his lips.

Jasper cups my face, brushing his thumb along my cheekbone, murmuring, "Good boy."

My chest releases in relief, but it's short-lived when he says, "You do not have permission to come, pet. Do you understand? Nod, if you do."

I nod, not daring to speak.

Satisfied, Jasper moves down my body, making sure I feel every inch of him before he settles between my legs.

**Metal**

Jasper's mouth works its way down my body, teasing me with licks, kisses, and bites. I have to fight to remain still, to stay quiet.

I haven't been given permission to respond. It surprises me just how _difficult _it is to comply, especially when Jasper licks and sucks my balls.

_Oh jesus, _fuck!

Balling my hands into fists and scrunching my eyes shut, I take deep, deliberate breaths – or try to, at least.

_Please, oh please... fucking _hell_, Jazz..._

Trying not to cry out, I bite my tongue so hard I actually draw blood. The metallic taste helps ground me.

**Ache**

When he finally pays attention to my aching cock, I could explode there and then, but I'm not allowed. I try to think of something – _anything_ – to keep my mind _off _the wicked things he's doing to me.

It works. A little.

Jasper's relentless, bringing me to the edge again and again, pausing only to grab the lube and begin prepping me.

A strangled sound escapes me as he brushes my prostate. I could cry, certain I'll be denied now.

Jasper sits up, but keeps pressing against my sweet spot. I'm not sure whether that's a good or bad thing.

**Visual**

"Look at me," he commands.

Stifling another whimper when he taps my prostate again, I open my eyes. He watches me for a moment, never ceasing his teasing of me.

_Don't come don't come don't come..._

_Fuck, _please, _let me come..._

I'm pretty sure that if he keeps this up, I'll explode no matter what, especially when I see the determination on Jasper's face. I'm not sure what it means, but I have a feeling that whatever it is will tax me.

I both dread and want it.

"Do not take your eyes off what I'm doing to you, pet."

**Reprieve**

I'm torn between a sigh of relief and a whine of frustration when Jasper pulls his fingers from me.

He moves to untie my legs, massaging them before returning to his previous position. The _snap _of the lube makes me jump slightly.

_Fuck, _yes_! Please!_

Jasper meets my gaze as he strokes himself while telling me how beautiful I look like this. Explaining in detail what the flush covering my body does to him. How proud he is of my obedience.

With his free hand, he teases my aching length before kissing me hard. Grasping both our cocks, he squeezes.

**Dam**

His eyes burn into mine, and his voice hoarse as he whispers, "Tell me what you want, pet. Beg for it."

His words break the dam, releasing the flood of words that've been dying to spill from my lips.

"Fuck me. Please, _please... _need to feel you... God, please, Ja- Sir! Fill me and fuck me hard."

The grin of satisfaction on Jasper's face spurs me on as the words keep coming, even after he presses the head of his cock against my entrance.

He pushes forward just enough to tease, stopping the deluge.

"I want to hear you, pet."

**Blur**

I give him what he wants, cursing and arching my back as he pushes all the way in one smooth motion. Even with all the preparation, the sting is almost too much.

He pushes my legs up, practically folding me in half, and starts moving, not giving me time to focus on anything other than pain and pleasure as he hits my sweet spot again and again.

"Oh jesus, _fuck, _Jas- Sir! Oh god oh _god_..."

My arms strain against my bonds, my head pressing hard into my pillow only to snap back when Jasper smacks my ass in reprimand.

**Cry**

It's near impossible for me to move, so I'm left watching Jasper as he takes from me what he wants, only giving me what he pleases.

I know how auditory Jasper is, though, so every time his hips snap hard against mine, I cry out.

Every time he rolls them, I moan in delight.

When he wraps his fingers around my cock, I curse and beg, pleading for dear life for him to let me come.

"No," he pants, eyes glued to mine. "You'll wait, pet, or else."

"Oh fuck oh god... I c-can't..." I whine.

I'm so damn close.

**Frustration**

Jasper's movements become faster, more erratic as he chases after his release, all the while denying me mine.

I strain harder against the bonds, not to try to get free, but because it's the only thing I _can _do to try to control my body. Tears sting my eyes as I hold on for dear life – I'm past the point of knowing or caring how.

"Oh fuck," Jasper moans, stilling against me.

"No! Oh god..." I cry, unable to stop myself, sure that he's done and I'll be left with what's starting to be a serious case of blue balls.

**Precious**

Jasper's eyes are closed, but I don't look away – both because he hasn't given permission and because he's so goddamn beautiful when he comes.

A sob of relief escapes me when he starts moving, his hand flying over my shaft as he kisses me hard.

_Please please please, I need to_...

His voice is gruff as he whispers the four most precious words ever: "Come for me, pet."

Before he's even done talking, I explode, crying out a string of curses that would make a sailor blush. I can't remember _ever_ having _this _intense an orgasm before in my life.

**Coax**

As Jasper coaxes me through it, he kisses me again and murmurs, "Happy birthday, darlin'," against my lips.

I let out a shaky laugh, capturing his lips with a soft moan. My entire body is a livewire – I don't think I've ever felt better.

That is, until Jasper unties my hands, massaging my arms. The second he's done, I grab him, crushing him to me as I kiss him senseless.

"Thank you," I murmur.

"Come," he says, grinning as he gets up, holding out his hand. He leads me to the bathroom for a nice, relaxing soak in the tub.

**Relax**

As soon as it's ready, he climbs in the tub and turns to help me. Resting against his chest, I close my eyes and hum, enjoying the warmth soaking into my muscles. I'm sore, but in the best way.

Jasper kisses my temple. "Hope you enjoyed your present, sweetheart."

I snort, muttering under my breath, "_Enjoyed _is an understatement."

Clearing my throat, I turn to look at him, still amazed tonight even happened. "I can't believe you did all that... for me. I thought..."

He shrugs. "I love you," he says simply.

"I love you, too, Jas. So fucking much."


	43. Taking Chances

**A/N: **Happy Birthday,_**KnittingFynatyc**_! We hope you have a fantastic day.

As ever, we do not own Twilight - it owns us.

**ooOoo**

**Hide**

"So!" Jasper says as he flops onto the bed, grinning up at me. "What's the plan, Stan?"

I roll my eyes, blushing at his proximity. He shifts, lifting himself up just enough to swing an arm around my neck and look at the brochure in my lap.

Jasper seems to either ignore or not notice my body's reactions to him – blush and erection alike, though thankfully the latter's mostly concealed by the brochure.

Jasper's my best friend, and we're both out... we're just not _together. _I don't know if he's ever even thought of us together.

I know I have.

**Uncertain**

Clearing my throat, I turn my attention back to the information the front desk gave us when we checked in. It's still a little difficult to wrap my head around the fact that we're actually _here_.

On vacation.

Alone.

No parents, no siblings. No well-meaning but nosy friends.

I try to focus, to not think about how warm Jasper feels, how fantastic he smells...

"Umm, I don't know? I thought... maybe... we could hike?" I point to several trails mentioned.

Jasper nods thoughtfully.

"Or... they've got surfing? Cliff diving ?"

I don't know _why _everything's coming out as a question.

**Blush**

Jasper looks up at me, wide-eyed. "Cliff diving? _You_?" he says incredulously.

My blush deepens. Ducking my head, I mumble, "I thought maybe you'd like to. I can do it."

Even to my ears, it sounds lame. I'm scared of heights, and he knows it, but he's daredevil enough to want to try something like that, and I wouldn't want to deny him the opportunity – or make him do it alone.

His voice is soft, awed. "You'd do that for me?"

I nod, not looking at him.

He taps his hand against my shoulder, trying to get my attention. "Hey..."

**Disbelief**

Glancing at him from the corner of my eye, I hmm in acknowledgement. Jasper sighs, knowing he won't get much more out of me. "Ed, why would you do that to yourself, man? I _know _how you are with heights."

I shrug.

He shifts, swinging his legs over the side of the bed so his body's aligned with mine.

"Ed, c'mon. It's me. Talk to me?"

I blush, all _too _aware it's him. My fingers tighten their grip on the brochure.

Jasper watches me for a minute, then reaches to tilt my chin up and toward him with his finger.

**Possibility**

I close my eyes, my breathing speeding with anxiety – anticipation? – when I feel him move closer. I don't dare move a muscle.

"Edward Anthony Cullen, what are you hiding from me?" he whispers, resting his forehead against mine.

I try not to whimper at his proximity. Jasper and I have always been affectionate together, though lately that's become increasingly difficult for me.

_How can he _not_ know?_

I gulp when the thought hits me that maybe he's always so affectionate because he feels the same way I do – that maybe that's why he insisted on us coming here together. Alone.

**Risk**

_I can't. I can't risk our friendship like this. Can I?_

_What if I'm reading him wrong and I ruin our vacation?_

_What if I lose his friendship?_

All these thoughts pass through me at lightning speed.

_And what do I risk if I _don't_?_

I'm not a great risk-taker – that's always been Jasper's role – but something about this moment propels me to be bold, bolder than I've ever been in my entire life.

Throwing my usual caution to the wind, I take a shuddering breath, cup his face in my hands, and kiss him softly once… twice.

He gasps.

**Mistake**

My eyes fly open. I scramble away from him, stammering apologies. Tears sting my eyes as I immediately berate myself.

_The _one_ time I decide to be brave – to take a risk – and I fucking take the wrong one._

I get as far as the door to our room, my back against it as I fumble to open the lock, all the while pouring out broken apologies and pleas for forgiveness, interspersed with cussing myself out.

Jasper's talking, but I can't hear anything over the noise in my head.

When I finally feel the lock give, I turn to leave.

**Catch**

Jasper's hand closing on my wrist stops me in my tracks. He forcibly turns me around to face him, putting a hand on either side of me and pinning me to the door.

It's all I can do to stay there and not crumple into a miserable heap. I know I fucked this up.

In a _big _way.

How long it takes for Jasper's voice to penetrate my haze of self-disgust I don't know. Eventually, I hear his exasperated, "Edward, would you please just _stop_ and _listen_?"

I'm trembling from head to foot, wanting so badly to run.

I nod.

**Impossible**

I can't look at him, certain I'll see contempt and anger in his face for having dared to assume...

_What am I going to do without him?_

My chest constricts painfully at that thought, and my face crumples.

"Edward, baby," he breathes, cupping my face so tenderly it surprises me.

_Baby?_

Leveling my gaze to his, I'm shocked to find him watching me with a sad smile.

"There you are," he mutters, resting his forehead against mine again.

I'm too confused to say or do anything, so I just wait.

"What am I gonna do with you?" he chuckles softly.

**Truth**

My mouth opens and closes a few times, but no words form.

Jasper sighs, pulling away as he brushes my cheekbone with his thumb. "I'm sorry," he says.

"Y-you're s-sorry?" I stutter.

He nods. "You took me by surprise when you kissed me, Edward, but… I orchestrated all of this," he gestures to the room, "because I wanted to have you alone... to make sure I'd get the chance to finally do something I've been wanting to do for a long time."

"What's that?" I ask stupidly.

He gives a half-smile. "To tell you that I'm in love with you."

**Help**

I blink.

"You... you w-what?"

Jasper's lips twitch. "Edward, you're a very smart guy. Top of our class, valedictorian and shit, but sometimes... sometimes you can be really, really dumb."

I frown. He chuckles, pecking my lips. My eyes fly wide.

"I've been trying to tell you I love you for months now. I've hinted, indicated, all but written it out in the sky for the world to see, but you just weren't getting the message."

I gape.

"Alice helped me set everything up," he admits quietly.

"Alice?" I rasp.

_I'm gonna kill my sister. She knew! All this time!_

**Calm**

"Hey, hey... none of that," he rushes, cupping my face in both hands and forcing me to meet his eyes. It's only then that I realize my hands are balled into fists and I'm breathing harshly.

I'm not entirely sure _why _I'm so upset. I just know that I am.

Somehow, Jasper seems to know what's going through my mind and knows just how to calm me down. As always.

He's always so in tune with me – it's one of the things I love about him.

He takes a deep breath, then says, "Edward, I love you. So much. I-"

**Confirm**

"I..." he trails off, frowning before starting again, "I don't know what I would've done if, after this week, you'd still not understood how I felt. I never dreamed you felt the same about me. At least..." he glances hopefully at me, "I _hope_you do, since you kissed me."

Swallowing hard, I nod, mouthing, "I do."

The smile that spreads on his face warms me to my core, and I feel my own form in response.

"Really? You do?" he asks.

I nod again, unable to speak.

"Tell me? Please? I need to hear you say it," he pleads.

**Begin**

Raising my hands so one covers his and the other cups his cheek, I smile.

"I love you, Jasper. More than my own life," I whisper.

It's true. There's no one else I'd consider risking my neck for by jumping off a cliff, after all.

Jasper grins as he leans forward, his lips scant inches from mine as he breathes, "I like the sound of that. I love you, Edward."

And then he's kissing me. Deeply. Thoroughly.

Eventually, he pulls away. "So. What's the plan for this week?"

I don't know, but I know we're off to a great start.


	44. Coming Out Proud

**A/N: **Happy Birthday,_** Squibstitcher**_! We hope you have a wonderful day.

As ever, we do not own Twilight - it owns us.

**ooOoo**

**Anxious**

"Ri... I don't know if I can do this. What if-"

I shift nervously and run my hands along the steering wheel. I cannot bring myself to look at my boyfriend, knowing he'll be disappointed. I've been promising for months to come out. To walk with him out and proud at Pride.

Which is tomorrow.

And I'm still firmly in the closet, sitting in my parents' drive.

Riley's hand squeezes my knee, his breath washing over my cheek. "You can, Ed... I know you can. But you need to be ready for it. I won't make you. I love you."

**Misconception**

Somehow, I find myself on the front porch, knocking on the door.

_Shit, can't go back now..._

I glance at Riley, who's the picture of calm and manners as the door opens.

My mother trills, "Edward, Riley! Come in, come in! We weren't expecting you boys tonight. Everything alright?"

Ri kisses mom's cheek, hugging her as usual. He's been my "best friend" and roommate for so long, he's considered as much a part of the family as I am.

They don't know he's gay – that we've been together for over a year now.

"Hi, Mom," I croak, clearing my throat.

**Fear**

Mom ushers us into the living room, where Dad gives us the same welcome. Riley laughs, brushing off their concern by joking about being homesick for Esme's cooking.

At that, Mom beams, immediately bustling into the kitchen. "Good thing I made a big pot of chili then! Set the table, boys. Dinner'll be ready in ten minutes."

Shaking my head in wonder, I do as told.

As we sit down to eat, conversation flows easily between the three of them, while I can barely manage to swallow my food and give appropriate responses.

_God, this could be the last time..._

**Observant**

All throughout dinner, I can _feel_the worried glances my mother gives me. She doesn't mention anything, though, until after we're all sitting in the living room again with cups of coffee.

Riley settles in next to me on the couch, relaxed and at home. I know he's only in the closet because of me – and that his coming out won't have the same ramifications as it will for me.

"So, Edward, what's the real reason for you two showing up here tonight?" Mom finally asks, her eyes sharp on me.

I swallow hard, shooting a panicked look at Riley.

**Admit**

He nods, giving me a reassuring smile.

Putting my cup down, I straighten up, only to lean forward again with my elbows resting on my knees. I can't bring myself to look at my parents. "Mom... Dad... There's something I've been meaning to tell you... something I _need _to tell you..."

My voice grows fainter with every word as I say, "I-I'm gay."

I close my eyes, waiting for condemnation, disbelief, anger... even straight-up denial – everything I was certain I could expect.

What I'm not ready for are the sighs of relief echoing in the room, and Dad's whispered, "Finally..."

**Stun**

My head shoots up at that, my eyes widening in surprise. "What? What did you say?"

Dad blushes and clears his throat. "I said, 'finally,' Son. Your mother and I've known for a while now, but felt it better to wait for you to come to us."

He smiles and adds, "Thank you, for finally trusting us enough to love you."

My eyes flit between my dad and Riley, who's grinning like the cat who ate the canary.

Mom's, "So does this mean I can call you my son-in-law now, Riley?" almost gives me a coronary.

"What? How-?" I sputter.

**Obvious**

When I turn to Riley, he looks as shocked as I am. It takes him only seconds to recover before he throws his head back and laughs, his hand rubbing my back gently. "Sure, Esme. That works as well as anything, I guess."

He grins and winks at me.

My mouth opens and closes, but nothing comes out.

Mom shifts to kneel in front of me as she takes both my hands in hers. She smiles. "Sweetheart, we love you. We're _proud_ of you. Both of you. And it's obvious – to _us, _at least – that you two love each other."

**Free**

"Thanks, Esme," Riley murmurs.

Mom pats his knee fondly. "You two hold on to that love. Don't be afraid to show the world, Edward. Not everyone'll agree with it, but it's not up to _them," _she says firmly.

She hugs me tight, and I can't help but do the same. We sit like that for a while, with Mom whispering words of love and encouragement in my ear.

When she eventually lets go and retakes her seat, we talk for hours about... everything. For the first time in my life, I feel free.

I'm even able to hold Ri's hand.

**Plan**

As the evening progresses, the topics change from the past to the present and the – very near – future. When Mom hears about Riley and me walking at Pride tomorrow, she shares a meaningful look with Dad.

"Son," he begins, but Mom finishes, "We're coming with you."

At our stunned faces, she adds quickly, "If you don't mind, that is."

Riley and I look at each other, with him grinning and me disbelieving.

"I... sure, Mom... That'd be great," I finally manage.

We set a time to meet up in the morning, and then it's time for us to head home.

**Reflect**

Riley drives us home because I simply can't concentrate enough on the road. When we get to our place, he parks the car and turns to me with a warm smile, cupping my cheek.

Leaning into his touch, I breathe, "I can't believe they knew..."

He chuckles, shrugging. "They're your parents, babe. And as far as parents go, yours have always been fairly open and perceptive of things."

I snort, rolling my eyes and muttering, "Apparently."

He leans in, brushing his lips against mine. "They love you, Ed. _I_love you. And I'm so damn proud of you for today."

**Prepare**

The next morning we're up early to get ready. Riley has the idea of painting our chests to show the world we're partners.

I'm both excited and apprehensive about the idea, but I go along with it because Mom's right. It's not up to anyone but _us_who we love.

So Ri and I have fun writing, "Proud to love him," on each other's chest, with an arrow below – his pointing left, mine right. He decides to paint flags on my cheeks as well, random rainbow ones, for the hell of it.

I just grin, shaking my head in amusement.

**Accept**

After we're both ready for the long day ahead, we head out to meet up with my parents.

They hug us in turn, and when we remove our shirts, they laugh and say, "Good for you!"

I'm somewhat embarrassed at being half-naked around my folks, but it doesn't take long for me to get into the spirit of Pride.

Mom and Dad walk proudly beside us, joining in on the festivities.

After a while, I turn to Riley, kissing him on the cheek as we walk. "Thank you, Riley. I love you, and I _am_ proud to call you 'boyfriend.'"


	45. Celebrating Forever

**A/N: **Happy Birthday, _**KnitGirlinIdaho**_! We hope you have a fantastic day.

As ever, we do not own Twilight - it owns us.

**ooOoo**

**Gratifying**

Looking into his eyes, I feel like the luckiest man alive – even after all these years.

Today marks our fiftieth anniversary as a couple.

Today is also the first day of the rest of our lives. The day where we finally – _officially _– say, "I do."

Seeing him standing in front of the Justice of the Peace, I have to hold back from pinching myself just to check if this is all real.

Jasper grins his signature grin, the one that still makes me melt. Rubbing his thumb over my hand, he speaks in a clear voice for all to hear.

**Bond**

"I, Jasper Whitlock, take thee, Edward Cullen, to be my _lawfully _wedded husband." He squeezes my hand and places the ring on my finger.

The look of pride in his eyes as he says those words warms my heart.

Swallowing past the lump in my throat, I repeat the vow, though my voice and hands tremble slightly with the strength of my emotions.

We turn to the JP as one to find her smiling at us. She nods, then says, "I now pronounce you to be married."

Her smile turns mischievous as she adds, "You may now kiss your husband."

**Joy**

Playful laughter erupts around us as Jasper pulls me closer, but I don't care. Wrapping my arms around him, I tilt my head, kissing him with everything I have.

His arms snake around my shoulders, and it isn't until there's a tugging at our sleeves that he pulls away, his eyes dancing with humor.

"Come on, you two; that's enough. Leave the rest for the bedroom later," Rose quips.

Jasper laughs at his twin, joined in by Emmett, who slaps my shoulder when he sees me blush.

Jasper grabs my hand, entwining our fingers as we make our way outside.

**Celebrate**

When we walk outside, our friends and family shower us with birdseed. As one, Jasper and I raise our joined hands in the air in triumph.

After fifty years, we're finally recognized – legal. There were times I thought this day might never come. That it's here – today, of all days – is a dream come true.

We'd already planned a party to celebrate our decades together, but now it has even _more _meaning.

Now, we celebrate our union.

Stopping on the steps, I kiss him gently before pressing my forehead to his. "I love you, Jasper. Always."

"Forever, Ed." He smiles.


	46. Delayed Gratification

**A/N: **Happy Birthday,_** Laura**_! We hope you have a wonderful day.

As ever, we do not own Twilight - it owns us.

**ooOoo**

**Room**

Edward fumbles with the key, reaching behind him to try to slip the card into the lock. I make it as hard as I can for him, kissing his neck hungrily and palming his cock through his pants.

He's been going after me hard, calling me every day, bringing me lunch, sending me flowers. Tonight, I fully plan to give him what he wants – _everything _he wants.

It's not that I've been resistant. Not at all. It's just that work has been a beast, and this is the first chance I've had to get a night away from the hospital.

**Moan**

"Yes," he hisses at the faint _click_ of the lock opening.

We stumble into the hotel room, almost tripping in our haste to get inside. I push him against the door, pausing long enough in my assault on his neck to secure the chain and flip the lock.

"Jesus, Carlisle," he moans as I go back to nipping and kissing every inch of skin I can reach.

Edward pulls me closer, grabbing my ass and squeezing tight as he rolls his hips into me. We both moan.

Lifting my head, I look at him. "For the love of God, Edward..."

**Determined**

His eyes smolder. "Tell me what you want, baby. Anything."

I know where his mind is. Before this moment, we've shared a few kisses, occasional teasing touches, but we've never had the chance to do more. I appreciate his giving me an out, but it's one I don't want to take.

Leaning close, I kiss his neck and pause to murmur, "I want you…" He hums appreciatively, but I'm far from finished. "To undress me... stretch me out on that bed… and make me scream your name."

He pulls back to look at me questioningly.

"Fuck me, Edward," I clarify.

**Gape**

Edward's eyes pop wide, his mouth agape in shock. He shuts it with a snap when I squeeze his cock, his head falling back against the door with a _thud_ as he moans, "Jesus... Carlisle..."

I continue palming his hard-on as I whisper in his ear, "I want to feel _this,_" I squeeze him again, "fill me up, Edward. I've waited long enough. _We've_ waited long enough for a chance to be together. We're finally alone, Ed, and I plan to make use of that fact."

"Oh Christ," he mutters, grasping my face in both hands and kissing me senseless.

**Comply**

He turns us, guiding me back until my calves hit the bed. Only then does he take off the black jacket I wore to dinner and the theatre. He lays it neatly over the back of the chair and then shrugs out of his own, letting it fall carelessly to the floor.

My chuckle is short-lived as I let my eyes roam over his tight physique. The white dress shirt he wears is tailored to show off every curve and plane of his young body to its best advantage.

"Mmm… come here," I hum, reaching out to grab his tie.

**Desire**

From the moment my brother introduced me to his new roommate, I've wanted Edward.

He felt the same, but with the age difference and Emmett connection, it took him awhile to convince me to actually _act_ on that desire.

Longer still before we were able to find time together. Alone. Without Emmett or my flatmate, Garrett, barging in on us.

I love my brother dearly, but I have no interest in him knowing about my sex life. Or my love life.

Now, though, Edward is mine to have, and have him I shall.

Kissing him hungrily, I undo his tie.

**Strip**

I attack his buttons next, popping each easily as my hands slip down his chest. When I reach the waist of his pants, I don't bother to untuck it. I just unbutton his pants as well, lowering the zipper slowly as I meet his eye.

"Touch me," he whispers, "please."

"Is this what you want, love?" I murmur, trailing just my fingertips along his length. He stifles a whimper and then grabs my hand, squeezing it around his length.

"This is all you…" He kisses just below my ear. "You're so fucking sexy… so beautiful… please don't make me beg."

**Nude**

Edward's words empower me. I quickly shed the rest of our clothes before dropping to my knees in front of him. He combs his fingers through my hair, biting his lip as he watches me, his eyes pleading with me to take him in my mouth.

Teasing him, I kiss the tip of his cock, licking the pre-cum with a delighted moan as his flavor hits my tongue.

His thighs tremble in response.

"Please, Carlisle," he whispers.

He whimpers, his fingers tightening their grip as I slowly take him as far as I can, wrapping my hand around his base.

**Edge**

I throw myself into it, humming and relishing every noise escaping his lips, every tightening of his fingers in my hair. It's been far too long that I've wanted Edward – and even longer still since I knew this soreness in my jaw and this taste on my tongue.

Edward's cock jerks in my mouth, and I press the flat of my tongue against his rigid length. He shudders, his hips freezing in place, and I know instinctively that one movement – _any_ movement – would send his release down my throat.

As much as I want it, there's something I want more.

**Confident**

Very slowly, very carefully, I let his cock slip from my lips and look up at him. He's beautiful: his mouth open, his face flushed, his eyes wide and shining.

_God, I want him_.

Rubbing his thighs, I whisper hoarsely, "Edward, take me to bed now. Make me yours. I want to feel you, to be yours completely..."

He swallows hard, nodding as he pulls me up for a searing kiss. He undresses me, his touch tender and needy at once, growing more confident as my arousal for him becomes more apparent.

He pushes me onto the bed. "God... Carlisle…"

**Honest**

No more words are exchanged as he kisses me hungrily. His hard, nude body contours to mine, letting me feel every inch of him. He pulls away to prepare me, his touch making my body sing as the slow burn begins in my thighs.

When he settles over me, he pauses to give me a soft smile. "I've been waiting for this for _months_," he groans, leaning down to kiss me before whispering against my lips, "You've been my fantasy for so long…"

"Just like you've been mine," I answer honestly. Spreading my knees, I murmur, "Make it real, Edward…"

**Claim**

My head presses into the pillow and my back arches as Edward enters me slowly and reverently. When his hips are flush with mine, we're both shaking – him with the effort to remain still and allow me to adjust, and me from the overwhelming need I feel for him.

"Move. Please," I groan, desperate for the burn to turn into the pleasure I know awaits.

His lips capture mine as he sets a steady rhythm.

My hands roam the expanse of his back as we dance this fluid dance to the music of our moans, oaths, and whispers of love.

**Completion**

Sweat beads along my forehead, rolling over my temple as Edward's hand cups my neck. His thumb presses against the hollow of my throat as his tongue ravages my mouth. His hips snap against mine, the slap of flesh against flesh muted by the sound of his groan.

He breaks our kiss, his head hanging down as his brow wrinkles in concentration. Sliding his hot hand down my abdomen, he wraps it around my aching cock. I moan plaintively, nearly whimpering from the promise of my impending orgasm.

When my whole body tenses in rapture, Edward is not far behind.

**Scatter**

"Oh god... Edward, that was..."

I shake my head, my eyes closed as I try to find the words to describe... everything. I can't, so I wrap my arms around him, securing him in my embrace as I kiss every bit of him that I can reach.

He chuckles hoarsely, struggling to regain control over his breathing. When he's settled down enough, he raises up enough to look me in the eye. "You're amazing, Carlisle. I've never..."

This time, he's the one shaking his head, at a loss for words. Cupping his cheek, I pull him in, kissing him deeply.

**Quiet**

Long moments pass as we come down from the natural high. All is silent until Edward, who is lying at my side, lifts up on one elbow. His fingers trace idle patterns on my chest until I cover his hand with my own. He meets my gaze then, but his eyes seem troubled.

"What is it, love?" I ask, bringing his hand to my lips.

A smile flits across his lips before fading into a slight frown. "Just wondering, I guess…"

"Wondering what?"

"Can we tell Emmett now?" He looks adorably, ironically innocent.

"That you're my boyfriend? Hell, yes… please?"

**Agree**

His eyes brighten, as does his smile. He slips his hand out from under mine to trace along my face, his eyes following the movement before focusing on mine again.

"Your boyfriend... I like the sound of that," he murmurs.

Catching his hand, I lift it to my lips again. "I'm glad."

He grins. "You're mine, Carlisle," he says with reverence clear in his voice. "And I can't _wait_ to let Emmett know."

I pull a face and chuckle. "Wait, love. 'Til tomorrow, at least. Tonight, I want to be selfish."

He nods, kissing me. "Selfish is good," he whispers.


	47. Happy Birthday, Victoria

**A/N: **Happy Birthday,_** MommyKnitsJen**_! We hope you have a fantastic day.

As ever, we do not own Twilight - it owns us.

**ooOoo**

**Fire**

The look she gives me is withering and intrigued. I raise an eyebrow and step closer, breathing against her neck. "Do it… I promise you'll love it."

My fingers trail up her arms so lightly none but our kind would even feel it. She does, of course, and leans against me, pressing her lips to my long-dormant pulse point.

"I better," she teases with a wicked glint in her eyes as she moves to obey.

I take a moment to admire my mate, lying there with her brilliant red hair creating a halo around her as she covers her eyes.

**Prepare**

I run quick as I can to where I hid my gift for Victoria, grinning at the thought of presenting it to her.

The girl is scared out of her mind; I can smell her adrenaline and fear permeate the air a mile away. Without bothering to untie her, or even pause long enough to get a proper hold on her, I drag the girl over my shoulder and run back to Victoria.

The muffled screams from the girl are like music to me, and I laugh, dancing a few steps as I reach Victoria.

"No peeking," I admonish lightly.

**Present**

I put the girl on the ground. "Stay," I order her calmly. "You won't like what happens if you try to run."

At that, she wails, and I frown at her for interrupting my moment. "Stop that."

She sniffles and whimpers, but clamps her jaw shut. I give her a smile that makes her cower against the ground.

Ignoring her for the time being, I move to kneel beside Victoria. I run the back of my fingers along her smooth cheek and murmur, "What do you smell, my love?"

She inhales deeply and gives a humming sigh. "Fear… sumptuous blood…"

**Taunt**

Running my nose along her hairline, I hum with anticipation, grinning at the soft growl I hear emanating from my mate. "Now, now, love. Patience."

She ceases abruptly.

The human's still whimpering, trying to inch herself away quietly. As if she could.

Kissing Victoria's forehead, I remind her, "No peeking."

Before the human can blink, I'm behind her, gripping her hair so tight she howls in pain, even through the gag. I remove it from her and whisper in her ear, "Be a good little toy and scream. Let her _hear_ what I'm doing to you."

Oh, how she does.

**Break**

I relish the snapping of her bones, carefully orchestrated so they don't puncture her skin. The blood begins to pool, mottling her flesh with, oh, so appetizing bruises. Venom fills my mouth, but I swallow it down, reminding myself that she belongs to Victoria.

First.

The human's screams are titillating, mingling with the scent of her blood to bring me to the brink of frenzy.

When I am sure she's ready, I return to Victoria's side, leaving the helpless snack writhing on the rocky ground.

"Are you ready, my love?" I murmur into my mate's ear.

"Please, James," she whimpers.

**Offering**

Ordering Victoria to keep her eyes closed, I help her to her feet, wrapping my arms around her. Kissing her just below her ear, I whisper, "Open your eyes, baby."

Victoria takes a lungful of air, tasting the scent on her tongue before lowering her hands from her face. Her eyes widen and she whips her head around to look at me. "She's lovely, James."

I grin, kissing her briefly. "Glad you like her. She's going to taste divine."

The girl stares at us, wide-eyed with tears streaming down her face, begging, "Please, please..."

"There's something else, too," I murmur.

**Butterfly**

"Look closely, love," I breathe.

She gasps. "Oh, it's beautiful!" Her hand reaches up, grasping the back of my neck. Answering her silent plea, I lower my lips to hers.

She pulls away with a hum, and I lower my arms. Lifting her hand, she glances at her favorite ring – a gold filigree butterfly I gave her exactly one year after I gave her the gift of immortality.

In a flash, she lowers her hand and crouches, her gaze fixed on the matching butterfly around the human's neck.

"Happy birthday," I whisper for Victoria's ears alone.

She smiles – and lunges.

**Fragrant**

Watching Victoria feed is an exquisite sight I'll never tire of. She's on the girl before the human's even had time to open her mouth to scream, pulling the girl's head to the side roughly, grasping her hair so tightly I can _hear_ the follicles tear from her head.

When Victoria's teeth pierce the girl's neck, she lets out a strangled scream, which cuts off abruptly when Victoria shifts the girl's head just enough to restrict airflow.

The scent of fear and blood fills the air, blossoming around me until I almost can't bear it, forcing myself to hold back.

**Drop**

Victoria lifts her head, turning her face to the sky as she licks her lips in ecstasy. She inhales deeply, unnecessarily, and when she lowers her face to meet my gaze, her eyes are vivid rubies.

Never looking away, she unclasps the necklace from the dead girl's neck and holds it neatly in one hand as she lets the unfortunate creature fall to the ground. Stepping over the already forgotten corpse, she saunters toward me.

"Will you?" she asks, offering me the delicate chain.

"Of course," I answer smoothly, taking it.

She turns her back and leans against my chest.

**Appreciate**

Pressing my lips against her neck, I clasp the necklace around it. The scent of blood is heavy in the air, and I growl, aroused as always after the hunt.

Victoria turns around in my arms, her lips instantly on mine. Forcing my tongue into her mouth, I relish the faint taste of blood mingling with the sweet taste of her venom.

She pulls away with a mischievous grin, purring, "Thank you for my wonderful gift, James. I love it. I'm looking forward to showing you how much..."

Grinning wickedly, I murmur, "That's _my_ gift," before she kisses me softly.


	48. Pack Rules

**A/N: **Happy Birthday,_** QueSarah**_! We hope you have a fantastic day.

As ever, we do not own Twilight - it owns us.

**ooOoo**

**New**

_William Anthony Black, you get back here _right now_!_

I growl, cringing at the very thought of having to use my Alpha voice to call my son, the newest member of my pack.

My son. That will never cease to freak me out a little. Who woulda thought that I'd ever be a _dad_? Or a pack leader, for that matter. I sure as hell hadn't ever considered it.

Until Renesmee. She changed my life.

Dropping to my haunches, I wait for Billy. I'm vaguely aware of Leah shifting back to her human form, but I ignore her quiet caution.

**Eyes**

Billy's thoughts swing between ecstasy – the thrill of running in his wolf-form – and downright fear. I sigh when I hear him wishing he could just run and hide.

He can't, though, and he knows it, but he still tries. His whine at being pulled by the Alpha's command can be heard for miles.

I growl in warning.

He slinks into the clearing, his head lowered as he peaks up at me with his bi-colored eyes – one blue, one brown.

Renesmee and Bella figure it's due to his being born by a half-vampire and a shapeshifter.

I just think it's cool.

**Stern**

What_ have I told you about keeping a low profile, Billy?_

He whines softly, giving me sad eyes. _Sorry, Dad. I didn't _mean_ to! I just smelled the wolves and wanted to play. I didn't hurt them!_

I roll my eyes, huffing. It isn't just that he shirked his classes, but that he shifted within line of sight of people. Of his _class_mates, no less.

_I don't care, Billy. You can't just shift whenever. _Especially_ not in town! People aren't supposed to _know_, Billy. It isn't safe. For any of us, but most of all for you and your mom._

**Better**

Billy hangs his head. If he could, he'd be pouting. As it is, he's whimpering quietly. _I'm sorry, Dad..._

Getting up, I walk over to my son, nudging his shoulder with my snout. _Also, your mom and grandma –_ I still have to fight the urge to chuckle at calling Bella that – _will kill you if they find out about you ditching school. Again._

His head jerks up, his eyes flying wide. _Please don't tell them! I'll do better, I swear!_

Grinning, I nod. _Yup, you will. Now, want to run patrol with me until dinner time?_

He howls. _Race ya!_

**Meet**

We circle around our lands, making a game of it. I keep my nose to the wind, but my mind is with the pup running beside me.

_I'm _not_ a pup!_

I bark a laugh, tossing back my head to howl.

Renesmee is waiting when we get close to the house, and she blurs as she flashes out to join us. I feel whole somehow, running with the two of them. She takes the lead, directing us toward some of our favorite hunting grounds.

When we arrive, I shift, and she ignores my nakedness, pulling me close for a kiss.

**Content**

"Anything I should know?" she asks, raising an eyebrow.

I feel my forehead wrinkle. "Nothing you should worry about."

She narrows her eyes – so like her mother's – and studies me. "I heard him whining, you know."

I nod, holding her gaze. She yanks me closer, making me stumble. I laugh and wrap my arms around her. "He's okay… promise."

"I hope so… for both your sakes." That threatening grin is her father's.

"Yes, ma'am."

She nods, satisfied, and kisses me softly. "Dinner time," she whispers.

I chuckle, watching my wife take off after my son before phasing to join them.


	49. The Note

**A/N: **Happy Birthday,_** IngenueFic**_! We hope you have an absolutely fantastic day.

As ever, we do not own Twilight - it owns us.

**ooOoo**

**Plan**

For weeks I've been planning for tonight, wanting to have everything just right. Perfect. Bella deserves nothing less.

I should've known better, though. My poor girl's been stuck at work doing massive amounts of overtime for the past three weeks, thanks to a sudden take-over of her workplace and the resulting changes. They lost half their staff and are now having to make up the difference.

_As if she wasn't already up to her ears in work,_ I grumble silently.

So instead of the grand plans of dinner out and a horse and carriage ride after, I'm home. Making dinner.

**Ready**

Granted, I'm cooking her favorite dinner, and the table's set with Mom's fine china, which she's letting me borrow for the occasion. Candles are lit, and jazz music is playing quietly in the background.

Bella's called earlier to let me know she was heading out of the office, so I expect her any minute.

I'm stirring the portabello sauce, contemplating whether to hurry and finish before she gets here, or to have her find me in the kitchen, when I hear the click of the lock.

"Hey, baby, I'm home, I'm sorry I'm so-" Her soft voice cuts off abruptly.

**Surprise**

_Breathe, Edward._

Carefully focusing on my task, I finish plating the food. "I'm in here, Bella."

As I hear her put her bags down on her way to the kitchen, I check to make sure the dessert tray is out of sight. That is one thing I don't intend for her to see – yet.

She touches my elbow lightly, her eyes taking in all the food before zeroing in on mine. "Edward," she breathes, "what's going on?"

"Nothing, just wanted to pamper you a little," I say, putting on my best crooked smile – the one she claims always dazzles her.

**Compromise**

She narrows her eyes before kissing me quickly. "Thank you," she whispers.

Smiling, I breathe a quiet sigh of relief that she's dropping this. I know I won't be able to lie to her beyond a white one like this.

Bella insists on helping me carry the food to the table, which I grudgingly allow, muttering under my breath that _I'm_ supposed to be pampering _her_. She merely chuckles, brushing off my complaints.

Just as we're about to eat, she frowns again, looking more closely at the dishes. "Edward? What-?"

"I told you. I wanted to pamper you a little."

**Check**

Her frown deepens, her head tilting slightly, and I _know_ she's going over the calendar in her head, trying to remember if today is an important date that she's forgotten. Shaking her head slightly, she begins to eat in silence that quickly turns to soft moans of delight.

She looks at me, smiling. "Thank you, sweetheart. I appreciate this more than you know."

I take her hand, squeezing it lightly. "You're welcome. Now eat. I have a special dessert planned for you."

Her eyes twinkle as her lip curves up.

"Out of the gutter, woman," I grouse playfully.

She laughs.

**Enjoy**

We talk about our day while we eat, though obviously I have to be very careful about what I let slip. She doesn't seem to suspect anything as she tells me about the work she, Alice, Jacob, and Seth got saddled with.

We've both finished our plates and are enjoying each other as well as the wine when she finally closes her eyes, takes a deep, cleansing breath, and looks at me with a wide smile. Holding up her glass, she says, "You always let me vent without trying to come up with solutions. Thanks. I feel much better now."

**Dessert**

Grinning, I get up and start clearing the table, kissing her when she protests. "You stay put. I've got this. Sit back and close your eyes while I get dessert ready," I order.

Surprisingly, she complies, folding her hands in her lap as she waits expectantly.

Making quick work of putting the dishes in the sink, I get the tray ready, making sure the ring and my note are front and center, the small bowl of chocolate mousse to the side.

After several calming breaths, I take the tray out to the table and place it in front of her.

**Pause**

She's sitting there so calmly. I can tell by the twitching of her lips as she fights a smile that she knows I'm there. She tries hard to be good, though, and I feel a surge of love and pride as I look at her, taking in her soft, pink lips and pale skin framed by dark hair.

She's beautiful, just like the day I met her.

I reach out to straighten the note, and my eyes linger on the simple words:

_I can't wait… to spend the rest of my life with you_.

Never have I meant anything more.

**Ask**

I kiss her lips lightly, but rather than returning to my seat, I kneel beside her. "Open your eyes, Bella," I whisper.

She does so, blinking in confusion when she doesn't find me opposite her as she expects. Next, her eyes land on the tray in front of her, and she gasps, her hand flying to her mouth as she turns to look at me. A quiet, "Oh my God," escapes her sweet lips.

Taking her other hand in mine, I swallow past the lump in my throat. "Bella, would you marry me?"

She nods, tears spilling over her cheeks.

**Begin**

With a trembling hand, I reach for the ring on the tray and place it gently on her finger before lifting it to my lips, kissing it reverently. "Thank you," I whisper, "You've made me the happiest man alive."

She hiccups a laugh, throwing her arms around my neck. "I can't believe this, Edward. I love you so, so much."

Kissing her temple, I murmur, "I love you, too, my Bella. More than my own life. Will you really be my wife?" I can't help but ask.

"Yes, yes, a thousand times, yes," she laughs.

Pulling back, I kiss her.


	50. A Hard Day's Night

**A/N: **Happy Birthday, _**Rasch**_! We hope you have a fantastic day.

As ever, we do not own Twilight - it owns us.

**ooOoo**

**Bone**

Flopping onto the couch, I don't want to move. At. All. Just leave me right here, and I'll happily stay here until morning.

Closing my eyes, I lean my head back against the couch even as I kick my shoes off and put my feet on the edge of the coffee table.

"Someone kill me now," I moan.

A chuckle and a soft pair of lips appear out of nowhere, but I don't bother opening my eyes. I just smile, puckering up.

"None of that, darlin'. I wouldn't know what to do without you, and you know it," Jasper murmurs.

**Rub**

Jasper nudges the back of my head, and I put my feet down and lean forward slightly. As expected, his knowledgeable hands begin to knead my shoulders, making me sigh and moan.

"Better watch that," he murmurs huskily. "You know what it does to me."

I chuckle, amazed at how quickly he can turn a shit day into a fantastic night.

His thumbs rub at the base of my neck, draining my muscles of tension. Softly, he says, "Were you guys busy tonight?"

I nod, telling him about the packed restaurant – and the other waiter who didn't come in. Again.

**Caress**

After a few minutes, Jasper stops, rubbing his hands while he walks around the couch to kneel in front of me. He gently caresses my cheek as he looks into my eyes, searching.

"You look beat, baby. Why don't we take a bath, relax a little?" he asks softly.

I blink incredulously. "In that thing? Jazz, honey... it's barely big enough for _one_ of us to sit in there, let alone both of us."

He pouts, turning on the Puss-in-Boots act – the one he knows always gets him his way. "Please, baby? I promise to make it worth your while..."

**Convince**

"Worth my while, huh?" I ask, raising an eyebrow as I let my fingers trail down his side. I hook his belt loop, spreading my knees as I pull him closer. "I'm sure there are plenty of worthwhile things we can think to do…"

He tilts his head, kissing me. His hand moves to the back of my neck, which he teases lightly, just the way I like it.

When I try to deepen the kiss, he pulls away with a playful smile. "Plenty of that after… come on, sweetheart. Let me do this for you?"

"How can I resist?"

**Prepare**

I watch as Jasper jumps up and starts gathering candles, taking them to our room. Settling back into my seat, I wait until I hear the water running for our bath.

Shaking my head, I slowly make my way to our bedroom, unbuttoning my shirt as I go. I can already smell the scented candles burning, and I have to blink to get used to the dimness, since Jazz already turned off the other lights.

After carefully putting my work clothes away, getting them ready for my shift tomorrow, I walk into the bathroom and come to a dead stop.

**Relent**

Our tub is tiny – about the size of our coffee table – but it has a wide ledge, where Jasper has arranged at least a dozen candles, creating a bright glow. The water is covered with bubbles, and there's some sort of fragrance in the air – like flowers and trees, somehow relaxing and arousing at once.

Jasper's nowhere in sight, but I don't have to wonder long. He comes up behind me, slipping his arms around my waist as he kisses my bare shoulders. I can feel his skin against mine, making me hum.

"Mmm… maybe not such a bad idea…."

**Deny**

Jasper chuckles, pushing me toward the tub. "Get in," he murmurs, adding, "please," when I turn my head with a quirked brow.

Stepping carefully into the tub, I hiss at the initial heat of the water, but once I'm seated, I almost want to melt as my muscles begin to unwind.

Jasper climbs in after me, taking a seat half opposite, half on me as he squeezes in.

I shake my head with a grin and reach out, intending to take his cock in hand, but he intercepts me.

"Nah-ah. We're doing this _properly_," he insists with a playful smile.

**Submerge**

At my incredulous pout, he laughs. The space is so small that all he has to do is lean forward slightly to press his lips to mine. "Let me pamper you, baby… all of you."

I grumble and sigh, but I can't help being intrigued. Our legs are wrapped around each other with only a few inches separating our most intimate parts, but I do my best to ignore it.

That is, until Jasper hooks his hands behind my knees and pulls me forward.

"Well, hello," I murmur seductively.

"Nice try," he answers with a grin. "Dunk your head, baby."

**Massage**

With a sigh, I follow his instructions and slide until I'm fully underwater, popping up straight away because it's just too uncomfortable to sit like that.

Jasper murmurs, "Thank you," as he grabs the shampoo and starts lathering up my hair, massaging my scalp as he goes.

Closing my eyes, I moan appreciatively as he melts away the stress of my day. I can't help but grin when I feel his body respond to me, so I make sure to be as vocal as I can be – not that it takes much effort when Jasper's working his magic on me.

**Silly**

He styles my hair into a Mohawk, chuckling to himself. I open one eye to peek at him before closing it again and shaking my head. "You're ridiculous, you know that?"

"Completely," he agrees easily.

The water shifts, lapping against my chest, and I feel his warm lips on my neck. "Mmm…" I hum, wrapping my arms around his waist.

When I go to kiss him, though, he whispers, "Not yet."

Opening my eyes, I pout. "Don't tease me then!" I grumble.

"Sorry, baby," he murmurs as he takes up the soap, lathering it up before cleaning my body gently.

**Light**

As he washes me, he kneads my muscles into compliance as best he can, given the cramped conditions. Still, it feels damn good.

Despite Jasper's insistence that we keep things clean, my body reacts to his touch the way it always does. By the time he reaches my cock to wash it, I'm dying for his touch.

I growl in frustration when I feel his fingers dance lightly over it, giving just enough pressure to make me squirm and get me cleaned up, but not enough to get me anywhere.

"Jasper," I whine. "Please, baby, you're driving me crazy here."

**Return**

"What am I doing?" he asks innocently.

I narrow my eyes at him, working to keep the pout off my lips. Still, he grins broadly as he finishes up, washing between my toes and making me jump.

When he puts the soap in the dish, I pick it up again. "My turn."

His laugh turns into a low moan when I start with his inner thighs, massaging so my thumbs just graze his balls. When he shifts and tries to move a little closer, I chuckle and pull away.

"Payback's a bitch," I whisper in his ear, pinching his nipple.

**Capitulate**

He groans and mutters, "Shit," when I accidentally-on-purpose nudge his cock, which twitches against the back of my hand.

I continue washing him, much like he did me, only with slightly more teasing touches, and within minutes he's writhing, begging for more. For me to do _something_.

Washing his hair quickly and rinsing it out, I grab a firm hold of it as I yank him closer, kissing him hungrily.

"Jasper, I love you, but I swear to God if you don't take me to our room and fuck me right _now_, I'll... I'll..."

I can't even finish my thought.

**Slip**

The water level drops when he stands quickly, and I start to laugh before I really see him standing there. His body glistens in the candlelight from rivulets of water running over his tanned skin, and his rigid, tantalizing cock is just inches from my face.

Despite my demand, I reach up, cupping his balls as I take his gorgeous head between my lips.

"Oh, _fuck_!" he hisses, one foot sliding out from under him. He catches himself on the towel rack before he moves one hand to the back of my head, encouraging me with whimpers and thrusting hips.

**Plea**

I give him what he wants, taking him deeper, teasing the ridge of his cock, and sucking hard – all his favorite tricks until he's babbling incoherently above me, a stream of expletives and pleading leaving those luscious lips of his.

He's so close to coming that I know if I just take him deep one more time, he'll be gone. I don't want that, so I pull away, looking up at him as he whimpers.

"Jazz, please. I need you, baby," I beg, my voice hoarse with need.

It takes him a few seconds to gather himself before he nods.

**Rush**

I'm right behind him as we step out of the tub, and he grabs a couple of towels, tossing one to me. We make a half-hearted attempt to dry off as we stumble toward the bedroom, leaving the forgotten towels in a heap on the floor.

As soon as we fall into bed, he straddles me, pinning my arms over my head. I give him a wicked smile, encouraging him by thrusting my hips against his bare ass. He trembles, his eyes closing briefly before he attacks me with renewed vigor.

"On your knees," he growls. "Spread that sweet ass."

**Dirty**

I scramble to do as he says when he shifts off of me.

Jasper alternately kneads and rubs my ass cheeks. Shivering in anticipation, I look over my shoulder at him, earning me a sharp _smack_ on my ass.

I hiss.

"That was for stopping when you did," he growls, resuming his rubbing.

Another smack. "For being so damn impatient."

"Fuck," I mutter, hanging my head between my arms, closing my eyes.

Suddenly, his tongue's circling my entrance. "And this," he says, pausing only long enough to speak, "is for taking that bath with me and letting me pamper you."

**Whimper**

After the bath, my limbs already feel weak and fluid, but when Jasper adds his attention, it's all I can do to stay upright. When the flat of his tongue runs from my balls all the way to the base of my spine, I tremble and collapse face-first.

My ass stings as he slaps it hard, and I'm immediately on my hands and knees again. "That's my good boy," he murmurs, rubbing away the discomfort. With the tip of his tongue, he probes me, and I whimper, trying desperately to beg him to fuck me but no words will come.

**Flat**

It feels like hours before Jasper relents – yet he pulls away much too soon, too. He runs his hands along my spine. I hum.

"Lie down, babe. On your stomach, pillow under your head," he says quietly, but firmly.

Grabbing my pillow, I gratefully let myself fall face first, spreading my legs behind me as I fold my arms under my head. I groan when Jasper positions himself over me, letting me feel his weight as he lifts my face to kiss me.

Awkwardly, I try to wiggle my ass, rubbing it against his cock that's nestled in my crack.

**Torture**

Jasper is a master of driving me to the brink. After the sensory overload of the last few minutes, he switches to feather-light touches and soft kisses scattered over my shoulders. He leans down to whisper, "Do you know how much I love you… how much I want you?"

"Mmm… god, I love you," I murmur, lost in a strange place between complete relaxation and intense arousal. "Make love to me… please, Jasper…"

He presses his cheek against mine so I can feel his smile. "Oh, I plan to…"

His weight leaves me as I hear the nightstand drawer opening.

**Join**

I moan low and long when his fingers slip inside of me. It doesn't take long to make sure I'm ready for him.

"Oh god, Jasper," I breathe when he finally pushes inside of me, settling his weight over me again. "Feels so good, baby," I whimper.

He kisses my nape. "Mhmm. Love you, Ed. Now, keep your hands where I can see them and hold on," he rasps, biting my shoulder.

With that, he starts to move, setting a relentless pace that has me cursing up a storm and chanting his name every time he hits my sweet spot.

**Permission**

My hands clench so tightly around the spindles on the headboard that I hear the wood creak. I want – _need_ – to touch my cock, but Jasper was very clear about what he expected. Instead, I whimper, unable to control the desperate sounds escaping me.

He listens to my unspoken plea and leans down, biting my earlobe before grunting, "Stroke your cock for me, baby. Let me feel your sweet ass tighten around me. Squeeze your head just like you like it…"

He keeps talking, but I'm barely listening. When my right hand wraps around my cock, I moan in relief.

**Boneless**

It takes only a few strokes before my orgasm rips through me. I'm so far gone that all I manage is a choked half-cry. Jasper's grunts as he chases his own bliss are the only response.

When he finally stills, I'm still floating, murmuring, "Oh god..." over and over again.

Jasper pulls out of me, cleans me, and tries to get me to roll over so we can get under the covers, but I can't move. My muscles refuse to listen. He chuckles quietly as he maneuvers my body.

Once we're both settled, with me tucked against him, I hum.

**Sleep**

"Feel better?" Jasper whispers into my hair.

I smile and nod, not even wanting to think about the hell that was work as I snuggle even closer to him.

He lifts my chin and presses a soft kiss against my lips. "Good," is all he says.

Humming softly, he runs his fingers idly up and down my forearm, which is thrown across his chest. I know he's still awake – and likely will be for a little while – but I can't fight the weariness that overtakes me. He's so warm and safe and everything I've ever wanted.

Within minutes, I'm asleep.


	51. Mending the Breaks

**A/N: **Happy Birthday,_**ElleCC**_! We hope you have a wonderful day.

As ever, we do not own Twilight - it owns us.

**ooOoo**

**Observe**

"She's out there again, isn't she?" Rose asks as she walks downstairs.

I nod, not bothering to look up from my spot by the bay window. Sighing, I pull my good leg up, wrapping my arms around it and resting my chin on top of my knee as I stare at Bella.

Rose appears behind me, squeezing my shoulder. "Why don't you go talk to her, Jazz? Explain-"

I shake my head sharply. "No, I-I can't, Rose. I thought you'd understand..."

"Jasper-"

"No, Rose. And that's final," I say harshly as I get up and limp back to my room.

**Morose**

Closing the door behind me, I lean against it, shutting my eyes and wishing things were just that simple. That I could just walk over to the dock, talk to Bella, and have everything be okay again.

"Right," I scoff, "like that's ever gonna happen. Like she'd ever forgive me for..."

Shaking my head, I force myself to walk to my window. The angle isn't as good, but I can still make out Bella from my new vantage point.

The front door opens and closes. For a second, I worry Rose'll talk to Bella, despite my wishes to the contrary.

**Ambivalent**

I sigh in relief when Rose's car pulls out of the driveway – relief… and disappointment. Part of me wishes Rose _would_ seek her out.

Maybe, just maybe...

When I'm sure Rose is gone, I go downstairs again, this time venturing out onto the veranda, though I hide behind the plants. I can see everything, but from a distance, no one will be able to see me.

For the longest time, I watch Bella sitting with her feet dangling over the dock, writing in her journal like she always does.

"_It's where I do my best thinking,"_ she told me once.

**Regret**

The sun sets before Bella slowly gets to her feet. She stares at the house – at me, it seems – for several minutes. I can _see_, even from here, the heavy sigh leave her, feel her sadness.

It's my fault, entirely, and I know it.

I'm the one who left without goodbye.

I'm the one who refuses to talk now.

_I'm the one with nothing left to give but a broken body_.

I shake my head, scowling. She deserves better than me. It's selfish of me to want her back again, selfish to want to go to her to console her.

**Deny**

Not for the first, and certainly not the last time, I ask myself why the hell I ever thought it a good idea to join the Army the day after graduation.

The day after Bella and I'd slept together for the first – and last – time.

_I was such a fool_.

I wipe angrily at the sudden tears, scolding myself. I have no right to tears. No right to hurt. Being broken is the price I'll pay until the day I die for hurting her.

Ignoring the fact that she'll see me, I get up and limp inside, locking the door.

**Reach**

Before I've made it halfway up the stairs, someone knocks on the door. I know it's Bella, even before she calls out, "Jazz, please... I know you're there. Talk to me? Please?"

I freeze mid-step, my hand clenching at the railing, my eyes squeezed shut.

_If I ignore her, she'll go away._

The door creaks slightly as Bella leans against it. Hearing her breath hitch, I know she's crying.

_I can't, Bella. I'm sorry..._

I can't move. Not to answer the door or to walk away. I'm completely, hopelessly stuck as I listen to the sound of my soul crumbling.

**Alone**

After what feels like forever, I finally hear Bella leave. Blinking, I look around, startled to see that it's dark outside and the streetlamps are lit. I half-turn, intent on making sure Bella gets home safely before I stop myself.

"You can't go chasing after the girl, Hale. You don't have any right to her anymore," I scold myself.

Reluctantly, I resume my earlier path back to my room, locking myself inside. Minutes later, I hear Rose's car pull up, but I don't bother to acknowledge her "Jazz? I'm home," as she walks through the door.

"Jasper? Are you here?"

**Truth**

Rose checks on me twice more, but when she gets no response, she gives up with a heavy sigh, but not before giving me a piece of her mind.

"Jasper Hale, you've got to _stop_. Yes, you were an idiot. Yes, you hurt the girl by leaving the way you did, but you're hurting her _more_ by cutting her out like this. She _knows_ why you left. She knows what happened to you. Now stop selling her short and give her the chance to ream you out. She might even surprise you and forgive you for everything in the end."

**Transform**

All night, I lie awake, tossing and turning. It's not unusual for me, but tonight feels… different. Rose's words haunt me alongside the waking nightmares from my short time in Afghanistan. Bella's face floats in between it all.

By morning, I'm exhausted, yet unable to sleep. Getting up before the sun rises, I go to the kitchen to make coffee, only to find Rosalie already cooking breakfast.

She turns to hand me a plate, gives me a once-over, then nods knowingly.

"Here, eat," she says quietly, gets a plate for herself, and sits at the table, not waiting for me.

**Trouble**

We eat silently. Words aren't needed right now. She knows about what plagues me. I know she worries about me.

All we have left in the world is each other, and I was never more grateful for her than when she took me in after I got to come home for my rehab. We've been living together ever since.

Rose sips her coffee, eying me carefully, while I stare into my mug.

Finally, she says, "You owe her more than this," gets up, puts the dishes in the dishwasher, and leaves.

Much as I hate to admit it, she's right.

**Chance**

All morning, I sit in my bay window, staring at the dock. Bella's been there for two hours already, just sitting there, her journal lying untouched beside her. The entire time, I try to convince myself to move, but I'm unable to do it.

It isn't until I see Bella's shoulders slump in defeat that my body seems to move on its own, and I suddenly find myself standing awkwardly behind her.

She knows I'm here, yet she doesn't acknowledge me.

"Bella?" I whisper, my heart beating wildly in my chest. "May I sit down?"

Nothing.

Then finally a nod.

**Hesitate**

I'm less graceful than I used to be as I settle down beside her, and my leg throbs from the effort.

At first, we sit in silence, the words I know I need to say seemingly stuck in my throat.

Bella tries to surreptitiously wipe away her tears as she waits. Automatically, I reach out to touch her cheek, wanting to comfort her, before abruptly pull my hand back again. _I'm_ the one she needs comforting over.

"Bella, I'm so sorry," I whisper.

She turns her head away from me, looking up at the sky. "For what?" she asks quietly.

**Recoil**

My jaw clenches before I manage, "For everything."

Her breath hitches. I close my eyes, lowering my head in shame. My hands are folded in my lap, and I'm wishing I could just... disappear. It's wrong to do this. Wrong to hope for absolution after everything I've done.

I can feel her turning toward me even though we're not touching. I know she's watching me closely, and I'm disgusted with what I know she sees: a mere echo of the boy of her dreams. A hollow substitute.

Broken, inside and out. Beyond repair.

"You had no right," she whispers hoarsely.

**Rage**

Though I know she's right, her words pierce my heart. I nod.

"I thought-" she starts, swallowing several times before finding her voice again. "I thought you loved me, Jasper. That I _meant_ something to you. We'd made so many plans. For the summer. College. And not _once_ did you say _anything_ about... about..."

With every word she speaks, I curl further into myself, wincing as if each one is a nail being hammered home.

"And then... I have to hear about what happened to you... from _Jane_? Of all people?"

Her cheeks are flushed when I chance a peek.

**Accusation**

My mouth opens and closes several times as I let her words sink in.

_Jane?_ _So that's how Bella knew?_

Jane. Rose's best friend and unfortunately Bella's rival in school – in everything. As I figured out much too late, she even tried to catch my attention, though I never wanted anything to do with Jane. Bella was where my interests lay, and if I'm honest, they still do.

I realize Jane must have taken great pleasure in knowing something Bella didn't and rubbing it in her face.

"Bella, I-"

She cuts off my apology. "No, Jazz. It should've been _you_."

**Mistake**

She angrily runs her fingers through her hair, wiping tears from her cheeks with the backs of her hands. "I just... I don't understand, Jasper. Why? Why did you leave me like that? Why didn't you _tell_ me you wanted to join the Army? I would have understood, baby. I would've stood by your side."

Closing my eyes, I nod. "I know," I whisper, and I do, which is precisely why I _didn't_ tell her. I felt she deserved the chance to live her life free from worry. Only now do I understand that it didn't matter. She worried anyway.

**Agree**

Sighing heavily, I nod again, explaining – however poorly – my reasoning back then. "I'm sorry, Bells. I thought I was doing the right thing. I didn't tell _anyone_, not even Rose. I figured people would try to talk me out of it, her especially, and at the time..."

I shrug. Hearing the words now, I feel stupid.

"I was an idiot. Too full of myself, thinking I knew everything and... I guess I haven't changed there, have I?"

Silence.

It hurts almost as much as Bella's words do.

"No, you haven't," she says finally, her voice flat. "You're _still_ an idiot."

**Question**

Snorting, I shake my head. "When you're right, you're right," I mumble, earning a shove to my shoulder. Almost without my permission, I look up and give her a wry grin.

Bella rolls her eyes, bumping my shoulder with hers. "I usually am."

I nod.

For a moment, we stare at each other. Then she reaches her hand to my face hesitantly. "Jazz? Why didn't you tell me? Why wouldn't you let me in, after..?"

Her eyes wander down my body, mapping the scars that are visible. My heart races as I cover her hand on my cheek with mine.

**Reason**

"At first? Because I was afraid – of so many things. That you'd hate me for leaving like that. That you'd take one look at me – at how broken I was… I-I _am _– and turn your back on me, even though I deserve nothing less from you after-"

Frowning, she shakes her head. "Don't. Don't say things like that," she rasps.

I break off and nod, swallowing hard.

"And later?" she asks.

"I didn't think I had the right anymore. Being alone... Dealing with the consequences of my choices," I motion toward my scars. "It's my punishment for ever hurting you."

**Snap**

Abruptly, she jerks away, her eyes blazing with fury as she suddenly brings her hand back and slaps me hard across the cheek she'd been holding moments before.

"How _dare_ you," she seethes.

I gape, wide-eyed and shocked. In all the years I've known Bella, I've _never_ seen her in such a rage.

She gets to her feet, towering over me with one hand on her hip, the other wagging a finger in my face as she tells me _exactly_ how she feels. She holds nothing back as she relays the past three years with tears streaming down her face.

**Assault**

My stomach churns as I hear how depressed she was after I left. How terrified she was when she learned that I'd been critically injured in the bombing. How heartbroken she felt _again_ when I refused to see or talk to her afterward.

How she never stopped trying. Never stopped loving me.

"So don't you _dare_, Jasper Hale, tell me that you _deserve_ to be alone, that you're not worthy of my love. That's for _me_ to decide, _not_ you, you pigheaded fool!"

She straightens up, breathing heavily as she glares down at me with both hands on her hips.

**Stun**

I stare up at her, trying to process everything she's said.

_She _still_ loves me?_

"Bella, I'm sorry, I-"

"Don't. Just don't, Jasper. I don't want to hear how _sorry_ you are. Don't you _get_ it?"

She glares at me, but there's something under the surface, too.

"Alright..." I mumble, laboriously getting to my feet, ignoring the pain shooting through my leg – for once, a much easier thing to do than normal.

Slowly, I reach for her, pulling her closer until my face is an inch from hers. Our eyes locked, I take a deep breath and kiss her chastely.

**Explosive**

Bella's brown eyes widen and then flare with anger and something else as she gasps. She rears back, hitting me hard across the face – again.

"Ow! Jesus! What the fuck, B-" I start, rubbing my cheek.

She pulls me roughly back again, fisting both hands into my hair as she kisses me with heated passion, her body pressing against mine.

Incredulous, I wrap my arms around her, kissing her back with everything I have.

Breathless, Bella pulls back. "Jasper, don't you dare put me through anything like this ever again. Ever."

"Does this mean you forgive me?" I ask stupidly.

**Attempt**

Bella tilts her head back and laughs. "Yes, you oaf, I forgive you. Just this once, mind, but so help me God if you _ever_ do something as stupid as that again, I'll... I'll..."

She pauses for a moment, trying to come up with a suitable punishment. She grins. "I'll set you up with Jane. Lord knows, you'd deserve the likes of _her_ at that point."

I shudder. "God, no. Anything but that. I'll be good, I swear."

"You'd better." She narrows her eyes at me. "This won't be easy, Jasper. There's a lot we still have to talk about."

**Promise**

Sighing heavily, I nod, running my fingers through her hair.

_God, I've been a fool. I've missed her so much._

"I know, Bells. For what it's worth, I truly _am_ sorry for hurting you. I promise, I'll do whatever it takes to make it up to you. I'll never hurt you again."

Bella rolls her eyes, grinning. "You'll try not to, I'm sure, but you will. Just like I'm certain to hurt you sometimes, too. The key is that we keep communicating through it and work at our relationship. Okay?"

"Okay."

This time, our kiss holds promise of a future.


	52. Morning Menage

**A/N: **Happy Birthday, _**Shalu**_! We hope you have a fantastic day, sweets.

As ever, we do not own Twilight - it owns us.

**ooOoo**

**Stealth**

"Shh…"

The sound wakes me, but I just shift, holding onto sleep as I tighten my hold on my lovers. A smooth back is warm against my chest, and I inhale the scent of Jasper before exhaling with a soft hum.

"He's gonna choke me…" Emmett whispers.

"Shh!" Jasper hisses, and they both dissolve into what can only be called giggles. I can't help but smile at their ridiculous – and obviously futile – attempt to let me sleep.

Too comfortable to care, I leave my hand where it is – my arm stretched across Jasper's shoulder and my fingertips brushing Emmett's curls.

**Stolen**

"But-" Emmett starts before being cut off with a soft hum from Jasper. My arm's jostled a little as they move, however much they try to stay still as they kiss.

Jasper shifts minutely.

Emmett moans. "Jesus, Jazz."

"Shut up," Jasper hisses quietly. "You'll wake him."

I already am, but I'm too amused and curious to let them in on that. I kind of want to see how far they'll go with their attempts to 'let me sleep'. I know it won't be long before Emmett'll-

Another shift. Jasper moans this time.

Yep. That's my boy, Emmett, never holding back.

**Stifle **

"Shut up," Emmett says in a voice that's clearly mocking Jasper.

"Fuck you," Jasper breathes before his body pulls slightly away from mine. I hear their soft noises of desire as they kiss hungrily – and I feel my cock stirring in response.

_Jesus__._

Jasper's shoulder moves under my arm just before I hear Emmett moan loudly. The sound cuts off abruptly.

"Sorry, sorry," Emmett whispers hurriedly. "You know I can't think when you-"

"Will you shut. The. Fuck. Up?"

"Make me," Emmett teases.

Jasper's arm begins to move rhythmically as he lifts his head, presumably to kiss Emmett into silence.

**Peek**

_Oh, Christ_.

The noises coming from them are becoming louder the more they lose themselves in the actions, which are becoming more erratic as they go. My cock aches to be touched as I hear Emmett's needy whimper into Jasper's mouth.

Unable to stand not getting the visual as well as the audio, I slowly open my eyes and lift my head just a fraction, enough to see my lovers with their eyes closed, wanton desire on their faces.

Emmett's flush on his cheeks tells me he's getting close.

Neither of them even notice when I pull my arm away.

**Startle**

Rolling away from them, I reach for the pump bottle of lube on the nightstand. I spread the slick liquid on my fingertips as I shift back toward my men, who are still oblivious to the fact that I'm awake.

I don't give Jasper any warning. I just slide my fingertips between his cheeks and press them against his hole, rubbing lightly before slipping my middle finger in.

"Oh fuck, Edward," Jasper moans breathily.

"I'm Emmett."

"Not you, dumbass… Ed's awake." Jasper cuts his explanation short as he groans, pressing back against my fingers. "More."

Emmett's head appears. "Morning, sexy."

**Join**

Reaching my other arm over Jasper's head, I pull Emmett roughly in my direction. He gets the idea and leans over Jasper, kissing me. I bite his lip and growl, "Thought you'd start the fun without me?"

I'm not mad. Far from it. Still, I enjoy watching Emmett squirm a little as he tries to apologize.

Jasper's moan is his only response to the conversation between me and Emmett, though that might be because I'm pushing a second finger into him.

"Em, shut up and get on your knees," I command, nipping at his chin.

"Hell, yes," he grins, scurrying.

**Order**

Emmett shifts to his hands and knees, his feet just inches in front of Jasper's face. Jasper, however, is paying no attention. His eyes are closed and his lips parted as he fucks himself on my fingers, rocking his hips and driving his straining cock into his own fist.

When I pull away, he whimpers and opens his eyes. "Why'd you stop?"

I lean down and kiss him thoroughly before whispering against his lips, "Because I want you to come while I'm fucking you… and you're balls-deep in Emmett."

"God _damn_, I love when you get this way," he growls.

**Ready**

"Me, too, now hurry the fuck up already before I bust a nut from sheer frustration here," Emmett grumbles, shaking his ass at Jasper.

Jasper and I laugh, each of us smacking Emmett's ass, which causes him first to yelp, then moan. "God_damn_," he mutters.

Jasper clambers across me for the lube, then rolls over to prep Emmett, whose loud moans fill the room, soon joined by Jasper's when my fingers return to their previous duty.

Once we're all ready, Jasper pushes in first, forcing Emmett to hold still as I take Jasper. As usual, Emmett's the first to move.

**Perspire**

Our bodies slap together, rocking in time to the music of flesh meeting flesh. Jasper's hands grasp Emmett's hips, pushing him away before slamming him back.

Jasper's back is to my chest, his head alternately lolling back against my shoulder and dropping forward as he pants and struggles to hold it together.

I don't give him a chance to recover. I pound into him relentlessly, tasting the salty perspiration of his neck whenever I can. My hands roam his chest and Emmett's back, exploring every inch of delicious skin I can reach. My eyes hungrily devour their beautiful, naked forms.

**First**

Jasper half-whimpers, half-cries out, "Fuck, I-I... oh my _God!_ I can't..."

He tightens around me, his body completely locked down as he comes. Emmett whines in dismay, "So close... please, baby..."

I still my hips, pressed up tight against Jasper, knowing he's in sensation overload and unable to handle more.

"S-sorry," he shudders, shaking his head.

Pulling out, I guide him to lie on his back next to us, smacking Emmett's ass to stop him jacking off. "Fuck," he mumbles. "Ed, please..."

Kissing Jasper tenderly, I cup his cheek. He smiles and nods in understanding.

"Hands. _Off._ Emmett," I growl.

**Suck**

His frustrated whine turns into a deep moan as I press into him.

"Holy fuck, Ed," he breathes, bucking his hips against me. "Fuck me, baby. Close. Hard."

He mumbles incoherently, trying desperately to tell me what he needs. His words suddenly break off into, "O-oh oooh…"

I look down to find that Jasper's slid underneath Emmett, lying on his back as one arm snakes around Emmett's waist and the other arm moves rhythmically. His messy slurping sounds spur me on, and I grab both Emmett's shoulders as my hips thrust into him wildly. Emmett's noises are no longer human.

**Team**

Emmett's struggling to meet my thrusts, thanks to Jasper's handiwork – both figuratively and literally, because I can feel Jasper's hands skim along my thighs, as well as feel the brush of his fingers where Emmett and I are joined.

Still, I keep fucking him harder, nearly brutal as I chase that feeling of bliss that's so close by.

Suddenly, Emmett groans loud and long, his whole body shuddering as he tightens around me.

"Fuck, Jazz, whatever you just did, do it again... Jesus," I gasp.

A muffled chuckle from Jazz joins a whimper from Emmett as Jasper does as asked.

**Reach**

My thighs begin to tremble, heat pooling in my groin as I feel myself right there on the edge. I slow slightly, relishing the heightened sensation of each long thrust.

Emmett gives a nearly hysterical cry and then roars, his body flailing wildly. Jasper holds on, both arms wrapped awkwardly around Emmett's waist as he coaxes him through an orgasm so intense that his entire body convulses.

His tightness, his heat – they combine with the sounds he makes to send my own release coursing through me. I come deep inside of Emmett, fucking loving the feeling of nothing between us.

**Appreciate**

Jasper scrambles as both Emmett and I collapse in a heap on the bed, then moves so I'm in the middle.

Emmett and Jasper wrap themselves around me, alternating kisses among us.

The sheets are soiled, we're all sweaty and gross, but none of us can be bothered with trivialities like that. We'll take care of those things later. Right now, we're too busy enjoying the mellow connection we feel.

Grasping their hands, I hold them over my heart, kissing each man in turn. "I love you both so much," I whisper. "I can't imagine life without either of you."

**Only**

Emmett and Jasper exchange a grin, but then Emmett's face turns serious as he says gruffly, "I love you, too, Ed." A smile flickers across his face as he meets Jasper's gaze across my chest. "And I love you."

They exchange a sweet kiss inches from me before all our lips are dancing, kisses pressed here and there.

"Who would've thought, huh?" Emmett muses aloud. Jasper and I both chuckle, knowing what he's thinking.

No way would I have believed two guys that picked me up in a bar would turn out to be the ones I can't live without.

**Return**

Jasper grins, winking as he says, "I didn't think anyone else'd be able to deal with your sorry ass, Em, but Edward sure as hell knows how to keep you in check."

"Hey!" Emmett scowls, smacking Jasper's ass. "If memory serves, _you_ were the one who insisted on picking up a pretty boy for the night and then couldn't stop dreaming about him."

Grumbling, I shift so I'm on top of Emmett, while Jasper's hand slides to my back. "And it was _you_ who kept calling me, begging for another lay, so shut the fuck up already and kiss me."

**Bossy**

"You sure are bossy," Emmett mutters, but his lips capture mine in a heated kiss as his hands trail up my back, flattening against my shoulder blades to pull me closer.

"And you love it," Jasper tells him. "So stop complaining."

Breaking our kiss briefly, Emmett whispers, "Mmm… sure fucking do…"

When his lips return to mine, I chuckle, lightly rolling my hips against his. His hand slides down to grab my ass while Jasper squeezes the other cheek before his fingers tease the puckered flesh between.

I lift my head to moan, and Jasper's mouth is on mine immediately.

**Promise**

Jasper's finger presses a little harder, not quite breaching me. I moan, wishing we didn't have to wait, needing them both now.

Emmett chuckles, massaging my ass-cheeks roughly. "Oh, don't worry, baby. Just give us a few to recoup, and I promise you'll get what you want."

Jasper stage-whispers, "You'll get both of us. Been a while since we've taken you together."

This time, _I'm_ the one left whimpering. And wanting, even though I'm still spent, too.

For now, I enjoy their promises for the future – both immediate and long-term – as we kiss and caress, content just where I am.


	53. Castles in the Sand

**A/N: **Happy Birthday, _**knittyapril**_! We hope you have a wonderful day.

As ever, we do not own Twilight - it owns us.

**ooOoo**

**Vacation**

I can hear him muttering behind me as we make our way across the boardwalk. He's been complaining nonstop – the sun and heat and sand. I sigh, grateful for the wind so he can't hear.

I know he'd enjoy this if he'd just let himself.

He's got it in his head that he's going to be miserable, so he will be. Nothing I can do about it.

Instead, I quietly do what I can to help him relax. I know it's the week away from work that's getting to him, so I spread both our towels and kiss his cheek.

**Soak**

I close my eyes in an attempt to relax, wanting to soak up the sun while I can.

Edward's intent on making it difficult, however, as he barrages me with questions, seeking reassurance that everything at work will be okay.

I sigh, turning to him. "Ed, babe, stop. Please? Things'll be fine. We won't go under by allowing ourselves a week off. It's not like we closed up shop or left it in the hands of idiots. Your parents have everything under control. They know the business as well as we do. They should. It _used_ to be theirs, remember?"

**Abashed**

"Yeah. Yeah, sorry," he says, sighing. I can tell he really is, so I try to ignore my frustration, but I can see that he's still not going to let go.

And there's not a damn thing I can do about that.

Over the years, I've learned to read him better than myself, and this is something he just has to work through. I crawl on my knees over to his towel, where he's lying on his back, straight as a board.

Bracing myself with my hands beside his shoulders, I kiss him softly, "I'm going for a swim, okay?"

**Invigorating**

I shiver as the waves wash over my feet, my skin covered in goosebumps until I'm deep enough to submerge myself completely. Suddenly, I'm not cold anymore and am able to really appreciate the cool water as it laps at my skin.

Making sure to stay well within the buoys, I swim a few laps, relishing the freedom and the smell of the sea. For a moment, I'm able to forget everything and just be one with nature.

It doesn't last long, though, before thoughts of Edward crop up again, and I sigh, making my way back to the beach.

**Find**

I drifted down shore with the current, so it takes a little while to figure out exactly where I left Edward. When I get to our towels, he's not there.

A quick look around finds him close by. I pause, taking in his unruly bronze hair and his freckled shoulders. The thing that really makes me smile, though, is the elaborate sand castle he's building with a couple of kids.

I chuckle, and he glances up, squinting at me. "Hey," he says quietly, his smile a little sheepish.

"Hey," I answer easily as I sit beside him, "who're your friends?"

**Help**

"Oh, this is Alec, and that's Jane. They're twins, here with their mom. She needed to take the baby to get changed or something, and asked if I'd mind watching them."

The twins smile and wave, then go back to working diligently on the castle. I lean into him, kiss him briefly, and murmur, "That was nice of you."

He blushes and shrugs. "I don't mind."

Getting up, I kiss his forehead. "I'll get you guys some water to fortify your castle."

Taking the bucket, I walk to the water, but take a moment to watch them before walking back.

**Relax**

A few minutes later, a woman arrives carrying a squirming toddler. She smiles when she sees Alec building a drawbridge with Edward while I construct a tower with Jane.

She sits down as well, putting the baby in front of her. "Here you go, Heidi," she says, handing her a purple shovel. Heidi waves it in the air, flinging sand everywhere, as the woman turns to me and holds out her hand. "You must be Jasper."

"Oh, yes, ma'am," I answer, shaking her hand with my sandy one.

Noticing my surprise, she smiles. "Edward's told me a lot about you."

**Share**

My eyes widen. When I glance at Edward, he's blushing and pointedly helping Alec. Shaking my head slightly, I turn my attention back to the woman.

She smiles, though her eyes are shadowed. "I'm Gianna. Your Edward was kind enough to watch these two while I tended to Heidi."

We chat for a while as she explains very quietly so the kids don't hear how she ended up here alone. My heart goes out to her when I learn about her husband's death in Iraq last year, and how this is the first time they've really tried to live again.

**Care**

"So, Edward tells me you two run a bookstore?"

I go along with her attempt to change the subject. "Yeah, we took over from his parents a few years ago. This is really our first vacation since then."

"That must be a dream… being surrounded by all those books! I really love – oh, no, baby, don't put that in your mouth."

She deftly takes the shovel away from Heidi, distracting her by burying her tiny foot in the sand. I go back to helping Jane, who is now trying to build a dragon, as we talk about our favorite books.

**Invitation**

The afternoon goes by too quickly, and I know we have to start heading back to our cabin if we're going to be able to barbecue as we'd planned.

Watching Gianna and Heidi – and Jane and Alec, as they carefully pat the sand down over Edward, who's now buried up to his neck in sand – a thought comes to me. One I'm certain Ed'll be on board with.

"Hey, Gianna, do you guys have plans for tonight?"

She shakes her head.

"Will you have dinner with us?"

She starts to protest, but is met with pleas from everyone. Including Edward.

**Grill**

With a beer in hand, I man the grill, chuckling as I watch Edward play tag with Alec and Jane. They don't _quite _understand the game, so it's more a matter of running around, knocking each other over, but they seem to be enjoying it.

When I glance at the rest of the yard, I frown and close the lid of the grill.

Walking over to where Heidi is playing in the grass, I kneel down beside Gianna's chair. "Hey… you okay?"

She nods, sniffling and wiping tears from her cheeks as she gives me a watery smile. "I'm sorry."

**Explain**

"Don't be," I whisper. "Want to talk about it?"

Her eyes flit to her children as she sniffles a few times, trying to keep her emotions in check. When she looks at me again, my heart aches for her. She looks broken. Lost.

"It's nothing. I just... watching Jane and Alec playing with Edward like that, it really hit home to me that he's really gone. That Demetri'll never play with them again. He'll never see Heidi take her first steps, or see any of the kids go to school for the first time."

She hiccups. I take her hand.

**Kind**

Feeling helpless, I squeeze her hand, wishing I knew words that could help. I don't think there _are_ any, though. I can't imagine losing Edward – just the thought makes my chest ache – and adding in kids…

"Listen," I say, my voice gruff and low, "I know you don't know us, but we'd like to help if we can. If nothing else, we'd love to meet you guys on the beach every day. If you'd like that, of course…"

She sniffles again. "Don't you… you wouldn't… shouldn't you talk to Edward first?"

"I don't have to," I answer with a smile.

**Gather**

"Thank you. That'd be nice."

I nod.

"Why don't you go inside, take a few minutes for yourself? We'll watch them," I suggest.

"Thank you," she whispers, surprising me by kissing my cheek as she stands.

I watch her walk inside and sigh. A few seconds later, I feel Edward's hand squeeze my shoulder, his voice low as he asks if Gianna's alright.

"She will be, I hope."

Getting to my feet, I turn around , wrapping him in my arms. Gently kissing him briefly before murmuring against his lips, "I love you, Edward."

"Love you, too, Jasper. So much."

**New**

I fill him in on what I discussed with Gianna the best I can before I hear a giggle. Edward lurches forward as a little voice calls gleefully, "You're it!"

Laughing, Edward half-turns before he stops and kisses my cheek. "Thank you."

I don't have a chance to ask what he means before he's off and running. While he chases the older kids, I check on Heidi, who's playing with a ball. I'm surprised to realize that so much of this feels right – I've never really considered children before.

Musing on this new revelation, I finish up at the grill.

**Dinner**

Once the table is loaded with food and Edward's wrangled the twins into washing up, Gianna walks outside. She quickly takes care of Heidi's clean-up, and soon we're all seated around the table.

It's a bit chaotic, but all three kids are mostly well-behaved throughout the meal. Heidi's the messiest as she plays with her food more than actually eating it, but that's alright.

Gianna's eyes are on Edward as she asks me if the offer stands.

We both nod.

Alec and Jane both shriek when their mother tells them they get to play with Edward again tomorrow.

We laugh.

**Dessert**

In the kitchen, we dish up bowls of ice cream and load them on a tray, which Gianna takes out back after kissing both Edward and me on the cheek. As we make our own, Edward frowns. "We need to get sprinkles."

I can't help but laugh and pull him close, resting my hands on his hips and kissing him. "I love you, Edward Anthony."

He narrows his eyes at me. "Why am I being middle-named?"

I shrug. "You're just adorable."

He watches me before smiling and kissing me languidly. When we part, he says, "Hey, babe?"

"Yeah?" I ask.

**Idea**

"I was thinking..." He bites his lip, frowning. "Gianna said she's looking for a job, right?"

I nod and grin, fairly certain where he's going with this.

"Well... Mom needs to do _something_ to keep herself busy now that they're retired… and Gianna doesn't live that far… and _we_ need help so that we don't overwork ourselves again..."

His silent acknowledgement that that's exactly what we've _been_ doing the past couple of years warms me. It's the first time he's admitted to it, even without so many words.

Pecking his lips, I murmur, "I think it's a great idea, babe."

**Offer**

We wait until Gianna's attention isn't divided between melting ice cream and a fussy toddler to talk to her. The sun is setting when Alec and Jane dash back into the grass and Edward clears his throat.

"Gianna?" he says quietly.

She glances up from wiping Heidi's chin, and I'm happy to see the small smile on her face. "Hmm?"

"I hope you don't think we're being…" Edward trails off, frowning.

"Presumptuous," I supply.

He flashes me a smile and nods. "Yeah. We were wondering… since you're looking for a job, how would you like to work at a bookstore?"

**Details**

Gianna blinks, her mouth forming an, "Oh," in surprise. Her eyes flicker from Edward, to me, to the twins, to little Heidi in her lap, and back to us again. "I-I'd love to, but..."

Her gaze turns to her children again. She frowns, worrying her lower lip.

Clearing my throat, I lean forward, clasping my hands together. When she looks at me, I smile. "We might actually have a solution to that, too, you see..."

Edward grins as he continues, "My mother would love to have little ones to look after again. We can work things out, Gianna, I'm sure."

**Debate**

"Oh, I don't know," she says automatically, her forehead wrinkling.

Edward and I exchange a glance, wearing matching frowns. "Hey, it's alright. We're sorry… we didn't mean to put you on the spot," he starts.

"Yeah, don't think you _have_ to or anything," I add.

She laughs, shaking her head in disbelief. "No! No, it's not that, I promise. It's just… you just met me today. That's a lot to… that takes a lot of faith."

Edward smiles, and I put my arm around his shoulders. "Trust me," I say, "I should be thanking you. You've already helped us both."

**Accept**

"Thanking _me_?" she asks incredulously.

I nod, chuckling at Edward's slight grimace.

"Yes," he says, "much as I hate to admit it, I wasn't allowing myself to relax and let go of the store. You – and the kids – helped me see that I need to. I needed the reminder to live life while it was mine to do so."

At seeing the tears shimmer in her eyes, he adds, "Sorry," and steps over to hug her.

Quickly wiping her tears away, she smiles, shaking her head. "Don't be. It's okay; you're right." Taking a deep breath, she says, "Okay. If-"

**Condition**

She pauses before plunging ahead. "If you're sure, I'll do it. On one condition."

I exchange an amused smile with Edward. "What sort of condition?" I wonder aloud.

The corners of her lips tug up in a soft smile despite the melancholy in her eyes. "I know it's a lot to ask, but I haven't seen the kids this… this happy since…" She trails off, clearing her throat and closing her eyes before forcing them open. "Since Demetri passed away."

Edward doesn't say a word. He just squeezes her and kisses the top of her head, giving her a moment.

**Easy**

Edward's eyes find mine. We nod in agreement.

Stepping up to him and Gianna, I place my hand on her shoulder and smile. "That's not going to be a difficult condition to keep. We've grown pretty fond of them, ourselves."

She gives me a watery smile, patting my hand.

Edward grins. "You'll probably be sick of us soon, so be careful what you wish for, Gianna."

He winks. She laughs.

Mussing Edward's hair, I grin at his scowl. "Don't listen to him, Gi. I promise, we won't show up uninvited more than once a day."

At this, they both chuckle.

**Alone**

We wave goodbye to Gianna and the kids, watching until they turn the corner and are out of sight. Edward slips his arm around my waist and puts his head on my shoulder. "I'm sorry," he whispers.

I don't ask what for – we both know. The last couple of years have been hell in some ways. "It's alright," I tell him honestly as I hook my finger in his belt loop and pull him to face me. "Just don't do it again."

He narrows his eyes but can't stop his grin. "Okay," he breathes just before his lips brush mine.

**Connect**

We stand there for a while, just kissing. I can _feel_ that he's finally let go of things – that he's here, in the moment.

Smiling, I pull away. "Come on."

After locking the door, I guide him to the bedroom. We take our time undressing each other before crawling into bed, where we spend hours alternating between talking, love-making, and simply holding each other.

It's the closest I've felt to him in so long. I'm grateful.

Just as my eyes begin to droop, I hear Ed whisper, "Thank you, Jasper, for making me go on this vacation – for reminding me."

**Truth**

I lift my head, resting my chin on his chest. "Reminding you of what, baby?"

He caresses my cheek, his smile just visible in the dim light. "Of how much you mean to me… just… everything, I guess. I know I haven't been easy to live with."

The tightness I've felt in my shoulders for months begins to ease. "You're welcome," I whisper, surprised by the surge of emotion that constricts my throat. "I missed you," I admit gruffly.

"I'm sorry. I'm here, sweetheart. I promise…" He kisses my forehead and then his lips caress mine as he murmurs, "Forever."


	54. Breaking Out

**A/N: **Happy Birthday, _**Connie_79**_! We hope you have a fantastic day.

As ever, we do not own Twilight - it owns us.

**ooOoo**

**New**

"Hey!" Seth whispers, peering over my shoulder. "Whatcha doin'?"

"Studying," I answer, unable to stop my smile even though I automatically glance around the library to make sure we're not bothering anyone. "Like you should be."

He pulls out the chair beside me and turns it around, flopping down and leaning against the table, his fist propped against his temple. "It's 82 degrees outside. Sunshine. Wind. It's gorgeous."

_Just like you._

He gives me a smile that brightens his eyes and stretches those full lips I love to kiss.

"Come with me," he murmurs. "I have something to show you.

**Alone**

Closing my book, I quirk a questioning brow at him. He rolls his eyes, grinning as he takes my hand and pulls me outside, not pausing until we're at our favorite spot in the park, right by our tree and out of sight.

"Seth," I whisper unnecessarily, "what're you up to? What've you got to show me?"

Glancing around, I see nothing here I don't already know about. My curiosity peaks when I notice Seth's eyes twinkle with mischief. Plopping on the ground, he pulls me down next to him, then starts to take off his shirt.

"Seth!" I hiss.

**Pierce**

Worries about what people might say if they see him half-naked fly out of my head as my eyes focus on one thing: the sleek metal bar jutting through his nipple.

"Holy _fuck_, Seth!" My voice is breathless and… needy, if I'm being honest.

He throws back his head and laughs. Then he looks straight into my eyes and reaches up, lightly twisting the barbell. "Like it?"

I don't answer. I just growl and move to my knees, kissing him with everything I have. When his lips part and our tongues brush, I can't help pushing him to the ground.

**Fascination**

Seth's arms wrap around me, holding me tight as he pulls me all the way on top of him. He hisses when my shirt catches on his barbell.

"Shit, sorry, baby," I mutter, lifting my chest off his.

He shakes his head, threading his fingers through my hair. Straining, he tilts his chin to capture my lips with his again, but I move away, my eyes focused on that little piece of metal.

"Did it hurt?" I ask quietly.

Seth snorts. "You mean right now, or when I got it done?"

Leveling my gaze with his, I grin sheepishly. "Both?"

**Tickle**

His fingers slip under the hem of my shirt, teasing the skin of my back. When they move to my sides, I squirm, and he moans softly.

"A little," he admits. "But the look on your face…"

"What?" I ask, trying to ignore how damn good his cock feels as it begins to harden beneath me.

"That look? Like you want to rip my clothes off and fuck me right here? Totally worth it."

My face flames at his words – surprising, considering the rest of my blood is all rushing to my cock. "Maybe not here…" I whisper.

He smiles.

**Threat**

Sitting up to straddle his hips, I tentatively reach for the barbell. "May I?" I whisper, my eyes flickering to his.

He nods, then moans when I lightly tug at the metal.

Biting my lip, I squirm at the sound. My eyes take in everything about Seth: the way his eyes roll back when I tug again. The way his cheeks flush, his chest begins to heave. The way his fingers twitch as if aching to touch me, too.

"Edward," he moans softly, his eyes fixing on mine. "If you don't stop right now, I'm not gonna be held accountable."

**Promise**

Our kiss is long and hungry, but when Seth's hands cup my ass, I remember where we are. Pulling away reluctantly, I sit up and sigh, still straddling his hips as I glance around.

When I look back at him, he gives me a rueful smile. "Guess field-outside-the-library sex should wait, huh?"

I raise an eyebrow. "Is that a… goal?"

"Maybe," he answers with a coy grin. He sits up, forcing me to shift to his lap. His hands are warm on my hips when he whispers, "I have a whole list of stuff I want to do… with you."

**Idea**

Quirking a brow, I grin. "A list, huh? Should I be worried?" I tease.

Seth rolls his eyes and chuckles. "Yes, a list. Got a problem with that?"

"Nope, not at all. As a matter of fact, I might have a thing or two to add to it." I wink.

Seth's warm hands slip under my shirt, roaming my back lightly as he hums. "Do you now?"

"Mhmm. In fact..." I pause, letting my fingertips brush over his nipple lightly, though I keep my eyes on his. "Does the place you went to do tattoos, too?"

I bite my lip.

**Hesitate**

When we step into the glass-fronted shop, I stop in my tracks. Seth takes a few more steps before he's pulled back by his hand held tightly in mine.

"Ed? You okay, babe?"

I swallow and nod, my eyes transfixed on the tattoo needle disappearing into a woman's cream-colored skin.

My stomach turns.

Seth's amused face appears in front of me. "You know we don't have to do this?"

I nod, hearing what he's not saying – that this was my idea.

"Let's do it." I manage a weak smile.

He chuckles and leans closer, brushing his lips against my cheek.

**Courage**

Seth twists to look in the mirror at the rainbow-colored _Proud_ tattoo on his right upper arm, while my eyes keep flickering between his and my own black _Proud_ scroll on my left inner wrist.

I don't know how I made it through the afternoon, but seeing the results makes me glad we did it. I've wanted to get one ever since I came out, but was too chickenshit to do it alone. Getting one now, with Seth, means even more to me.

Alec and Jane, our tattoo artists, go over aftercare again as they put bandages on our tattoos.

**Tease**

On the sidewalk, Seth pulls me close and kisses my neck. "I'm proud of you," he murmurs. 

"I'm proud of _us_," I answer.

He lifts his head, grinning as he takes both my hands. "So that's one thing off your list…"

I raise an eyebrow. "Yes… what are you thinking?"

"Just that…" His lips are warm as they tease the skin beneath my jaw. "I have a few things we could do from mine. You game?"

Uncertainty flutters in my stomach – curiosity mixed with the fear of getting caught – but then my eyes settle on my bandage. "Yeah, I am."


	55. Where You Hang Your Hat

**A/N: **Happy Birthday, _**MsKathy**_! We hope you have a wonderful day.

As ever, we do not own Twilight - it owns us.

**ooOoo**

**House**

Opening the door, I can't stop smiling at the sight before me. A sun-tanned Jasper, his wheat-gold curls tied back with a leather cord, smiling tiredly as he drawls, "Mornin', sugar. Can a weary traveler come in?"

Stepping aside, I usher him in with a flourish, earning me his customary chuckle.

The moment he sets foot in my house, I feel it. The halls aren't empty anymore. It's a home again. Even if it won't last.

It never does.

I try not to think about that as I wait for him to put his things down before welcoming him properly.

**Familiar**

We don't waste a minute, falling into our pattern as soon as we touch. He kisses me softly, his fingers trailing up and down my spine, making me shiver through the thin layer of my shirt. My arms wrap tightly around his waist.

It's not lost on me that our gestures reflect our situation – me, clinging to him while he's a free spirit who makes my world tremble at the simplest touch.

My greatest wish is that I had the same hold on him he does on me.

Still, I can't give him up, so I smile as we part.

**Welcome**

"You hungry?" I ask, watching him carefully. I know he'll try to minimize his needs in favor of getting intimate if I let him, and I'm determined to take care of him.

To show him in every way possible how much I love him, even though I rarely speak the words.

I've slipped a few times, but I know expressing my feelings like that makes him uncomfortable, so I try to refrain.

He has yet to say them to me, though I wish for them every time he visits. Something holds him back.

He nods. "Yeah, haven't eaten since yesterday."

**Cook**

We head to the kitchen, where Jasper usually takes a seat at the bar to talk to me while I cook. He's helpless when it comes to food, living mostly on take out and whatever restaurants he happens to go to while he's on the road for work, which is the vast majority of the year.

This time, though, he stands near me, leaning against the counter. He seems unable to keep his hands off me as he brushes back my hair and kisses my cheek, letting his hand linger on my forearm.

"Hey," he murmurs gruffly. "I missed you."

**Stun**

I pause to look at him, stunned both at his admission and the attention he's giving me. He's normally not like this, and it makes me wonder if anything's wrong. Not that I don't welcome it, but still...

"I missed you, too, Jazz. Every day," I admit quietly, my eyes searching his for the usual flash of whatever it is that haunts him whenever I tell him.

He's never truly explained why he's so uncomfortable talking about feelings. I just know that he is.

This time, he smiles ruefully and cups my cheek before kissing me again and whispering, "Sorry."

**Puzzled**

"For what?" I ask before I can stop myself.

His smile slips as he leans against the counter again. His hands are gripping the counter edge beside his hips, and he's staring at his feet when he says, "Just for… everything."

Pondering his words, I slowly turn back to the stove, stirring automatically. I wish I could just tell him it's alright – but it isn't. I hate the way we are almost as much as I love him.

"Why apologize now?" My voice is gruff, but I think I've managed to hide the bitterness I feel.

I hate that, too.

**Guileless**

With my eyes firmly on the pan before me, I wait.

Jasper takes a deep breath, still talking to his feet as he murmurs, "Because I owe you that much. I owe you so much more. I'm sorry."

My eyes close and my heart stops beating for a second as my fears threaten to drown me.

_No! He can't be meaning that... that__..._

I almost miss his whispered, "I know how much this hurts you... how much _I_ hurt you, Edward. I never meant to. I... it's... just... I've never been good with... with love – never believed in it – and..."

**Struggle**

Swallowing hard, I reach across the stove and turn the burner off, mechanically moving the pan to the side. I find I can't look at him. I'm too afraid he'll see everything in my eyes – hope, fear, hurt.

Maybe even something I don't know is there myself.

So while Jasper talks to his shoes, I ask the range hood, "Love?"

He sighs.

The kitchen is silent until I hear the rustle of fabric, and then his arms are around my waist. "God, what have I done to you?" he asks, his lips brushing my neck. "Look at me, Ed. Please?"

**Admission**

I turn around, wearily meeting his gaze. My throat tightens at the whirlwind of emotions visible to me.

Jasper closes his eyes briefly as he cups my cheek, resting his forehead against mine for a second or two before straightening up again to look me in the eye. "Ed, I'm so sorry. I-I should have... I couldn't..."

He stops, frowning in frustration at not being able to get the words out. Finally, he says in a huff, "Yes. Love. I love you, Ed. I have for a long time, and I should've told you before, but I just... I couldn't."

**Shock**

"You love me?" I can hear the disbelief in my voice. It just seems so impossible.

_All the times I've told him…_

_All the times he's just stood __there…_

I clench my jaw, trying hard to ignore that little voice. I don't know how to respond, though. I've wanted to hear those words from him for so long that now I'm not even sure I can believe them.

And that sucks.

Jasper's thumb brushes my cheek. "Please tell me I'm not too late, baby… please…" His whisper is broken, but it's the look in his eyes that finally convinces me.

**Wish**

"Say it again?" I whisper as my eyes search his.

Jasper nods, his breath wavering as he says quietly, "I love you, Edward. I wish... I wish I'd had the nerve to tell you sooner... to tell you last time I was here. I tried. It's been killing me..."

Wrapping my arms around him, I crush him to me. I could cry – for joy at _finally_ hearing him say those precious words, and because of all this wasted time.

Still, part of me's scared to believe this is truly happening. "Tell me I'm not dreaming?" I whisper into his neck.

**Real**

"Oh, you're not dreaming, sweetheart," he says gruffly, his cheek pressed against mine. I can hear something in his voice – the same overwhelming emotion that's choking me.

I hold tight to him, unwilling to let go, and when I catch what he called me, I smile. "You've never called me 'sweetheart' before…" I whisper.

He lifts his head then, his eyes finding mine. "I wanted to," he admits softly. "I just… didn't let myself until I told you how I feel. Is that stupid?"

I shake my head and kiss him, trying to tell him without words that I understand.

**Explain**

Stepping out of my embrace, he plates up food for us, taking it to the kitchen table. It's only when he turns to get drinks that my brain kicks into gear and I wave him off. Grabbing glasses and orange juice, I join him.

At first, we eat in silence, both of us staring at each other, smiling silly smiles and blushing. After a while, though, Jasper starts talking, telling me things he's never shared with a soul before.

"I said before that I never believed in love. I take that back. I never believed in it _for me_. "

**Ache**

I listen, half-fascinated and half-horrified, as Jasper tells me about the father that didn't want him, his mother's endless string of boyfriends – and how horrible some of them were to both of them. His eyes are dark and closed off somehow, as if he's protecting himself.

My heart threatens to break when I realize he's protecting himself from _me_.

I can't just tell him he doesn't have to – something tells me that it's going to take a lot more than that – so I reach out and rest my hand on his thigh.

His eyes lighten at once, and he smiles.

**Abashed**

Running his fingers through his hair, he shrugs, blushing lightly. The grin on his face looks a little off, somehow, as he says, "Sounds like some kind of bad Lifetime movie, doesn't it?"

I frown, pushing away from the table far enough that I can turn to face him fully. Taking his hand in mine, I pull him toward me, coaxing him to straddle my lap as I put my arms around his waist.

Brushing my lips against his, I sigh. "Don't say that, Jasper. You have every right to feel the way you do. God, I can't even imagine..."

**Unexpected**

Our kiss deepens as my fingers caress his back. I sense where this is leading, but instead of being almost resentful as I have been at times, I welcome it.

Jasper pulls away.

He's breathing hard as he rests his forehead against mine, his eyes closed. "Sorry. I'm not trying…"

"It's okay, baby. I want you, too."

"I know." He opens his eyes and bites the inside of his cheek, letting me know he can feel my arousal. "And we will… god, we will…" His eyes flutter, making me smile. "But I need you to know first that I-I'm different…"

**Dread**

My eyes search his for answers to questions I fear to ask as a small pit of old, familiar fear stirs in my stomach.

Jasper cups my face in his hands, swallowing hard several times before finally managing to speak. "_You're _different, Edward. I-I..."

He closes his eyes, steeling himself, and I find I'm doing the same. When I open them again, his are set on mine.

"Edward," he whispers, "I'm so sorry. I never meant to hurt you, and I know I have. I was such an idiot. Didn't know what I had – what I was missing – until I..."

**Understanding**

"Just say it, Jazz." My voice is harder than I intended, but I can't take not knowing where he's going with this.

He swallows, his eyes cutting away from mine. With visible effort, he meets my gaze again. "When I left a few months ago for San Diego…"

I focus on keeping my breathing even as I listen to him talk about feeling lonely and calling some guy named Peter – some sure fuck.

The same as he has in every town he visits.

I knew I was his Chicago hook-up, but hearing it confirmed clenches my jaw. I look away.

**Effort**

It takes every ounce of control I possess not to push Jasper out of my lap and get away from him. My hands are clenched into fists against his back as everything seeps in.

I'd always known, but now... now I _know_, and it astounds me how much of a difference it makes. And a painful one, at that.

Jasper continues to talk, to plead for my understanding – my forgiveness.

"Edward, please... look at me," he begs, trying to force my head forward to face him. "I didn't understand, sweetheart. I-"

"Don't," I cut off, my voice hoarse with emotion.

**Cut**

"What-" he starts.

"Don't call me that."

I can see panic and confusion in his eyes when I push at his hips. He obeys the silent order, scrambling off my lap. When I turn to leave, he catches my wrist.

I snatch my arm away, ignoring his pleading, "Edward? Talk to me, please. What…"

Stalking down the hallway and up the stairs, I let his words wash over me. I'm reeling, completely unsure how to handle going from being happier than I've been in a long time to utterly pissed off and hurt in the space of a few minutes.

**Alone**

Pacing back and forth between my bed and the window, I try to regain my equilibrium. Even as I'm struggling to come to grips with having Jasper's... habits... confirmed, a small piece of me worries about him.

How _he_'s dealing with this.

Leaning against the window sill, I stare out into my garden.

_How did everything get so fucked up?_

Memories of my time with Jasper come to me unbidden, flashes of laughter, walks, and love-making.

A quiet voice reminds me of Jasper's past.

Furiously, I wipe tears from my face, unsure if I'm hurting for myself, or for him.

**Knock**

I'm staring out the window when there's a knock on the door.

"Edward?" Jasper's voice is muffled, but I can hear his hesitation.

I sigh heavily at the fear I hear in his voice – fear that echoes mine. I can't explain exactly why I go to the door, but I do.

When I pull it open, a mixture of panic and relief crosses his face. "Edward, what..? I… Fuck," he swears, scrubbing his face with his hands. He lowers them, his gaze burning into mine. "I love you," he says decisively. His voice shakes when he adds, "I'm so sorry."

**Waver**

Automatically, I reach out to him only to stop shy of touching him. I swallow hard when I let my hand drop back to my side, my voice a raspy whisper as I say, "Jazz..."

His fingers twitch – I just catch the action from the corner of my eye.

We stare at each other in silence for a protracted moment before Jasper's face crumples. His voice is as broken as he looks. "Ed, please. Say something. _Anything_. Tell me you can forgive me, or to go to hell. I'll leave, if- if..."

_No!_

The thought rings desperately through my head.

**Resolve**

"No." It's the only word I can get out, but I'm not sure exactly what I mean.

"No?" Jasper asks after a moment of silence.

I sigh, my shoulders dropping as I look at the floor. I take a moment to think about what I want – what I _really_ want – and it hits me that it's exactly what Jasper offered downstairs.

Raising my eyes to his, I manage, "Don't go. I'll… I'll get over it."

Jasper's cheeks flush, and his eyes shimmer. "Edward, I'm so sorry. I never meant to hurt you. I don't ever want to hurt you again."

**Excruciating**

This time when I reach out, I take his hand and lead him to my bed, pulling him to sit beside me.

We both sit with a leg tucked under us so we can face each other. Jasper plays with my hand as it lies between us.

Taking a deep breath, I steel myself and say, "Tell me. Everything."

He nods and gulps before sharing with me how he and Peter had hooked up at his hotel, as they'd done several times over the years. How he'd felt strange as Peter tried to suck him off.

It hurts to hear.

**Exception**

Jasper's story wanders. He tells me about different guys. Different acts. Different cities.

But one thing is the same.

No matter who the guy was or how long he'd known him, Jasper emphasizes, "I never went home with any of them. Ever."

"But…" I begin, trailing off as my brow furrows.

Jasper nods slightly. "That first night, when you invited me back here, I couldn't say no. I _should_ have – I knew it – but I… couldn't." He shrugs, giving me a half-smile. "You were different from the start," he finishes in a small voice.

I lace my fingers through his.

**Steel**

I watch him warily, allowing his words to settle. Biting the inside of my cheek, I frown, squeezing his hand so tightly I'm sure I'm hurting him, but I can't seem to rein myself in.

Frowning, I whisper, "That night... with Peter...?

I swallow hard, preparing myself for the hurt I know is coming.

Jasper's jaw works. Finally, he says so quietly I almost miss it, "I couldn't go through with it. We did everything we usually did... we even got as far as me prepping him and putting the condom on, but when I was about to… ahh… to-"

**Certain**

"When you were about to fuck him," I supply, unsurprised to hear bitterness in my voice.

"Jesus," Jasper breathes, running his free hand through his hair. When I don't say anything else, he sighs. "Yes. When I was about to fuck him, I couldn't."

I swallow and shake my head, unable to meet his eye.

"Will you please look at me?" he murmurs. I brace myself before looking up at him. He tries a smile that falters before it forms. "I couldn't because all I saw was _you_. I didn't see Peter's face. I just saw your lips... your eyes…"

**Accusation**

"The accusation in your eyes. The guilt I felt reflected back at me. I just..."

He shrugs, turning his face away this time. Clearing his throat, he frowns and adds, "I told Peter I was sorry, but he had to leave... that it was the last time he'd hear from me."

Jasper huffs slightly, shaking his head as he looks up at me with a rueful smile. "Peter actually grinned and said it was about time I'd found someone to let into my heart. He got dressed, kissed my cheek, wished me good luck, and left."

I quirk an eyebrow.

**Incredulous**

"Bullshit," I say before I can stop myself.

Jasper laughs. "I swear he did. It wasn't what I was expecting either, believe me…"

At that, we both fall silent. I don't know where Jasper's mind is, but I can't help but wonder if what he's saying is true. I can't imagine being dismissed that way and being so… okay with it.

I'm lost in thought when Jasper clears his throat and says softly, "Edward, I know I've been… hell, I don't even know the word for it. I was an ass, and I don't deserve you-" He cuts off abruptly.

**Vulnerable**

His brow furrowed, he closes his eyes as he mumbles, "I _really_ don't deserve you," before clearing his throat again and going on with a little more volume. "I don't know what the hell I'm doing, what I'm _supposed_ to be doing... All I _do_ know is that I want you, Edward. I want to be with you, if you'll let me."

I force myself to think before answering, but in the silence Jasper adds quietly, "I talked to my boss. She says there's a desk job here in Chicago for me if I want it. If _you_ want _me_."

**Catch**

My breath catches in my throat, and my eyes widen. He meets my gaze levelly and gives a rueful smile, but he doesn't say anything else.

As the silence stretches, his face falls, and he looks down at our tangled hands. I don't know what to say. Part of me – a large part – is screaming _Yes! _but the rest hesitates.

Jasper tosses his head to get his hair out of his eyes. "I'm taking it either way," he nearly whispers. "I want to be close by so I can just... try to make you see how I… what you… fuck."

**Oath**

He briefly squeezes his eyes shut before meeting my gaze with determination. "Ed, I've never... _never_ known anything like this," he gestures between us, "before. I've never known anyone like _you_ before. I can't give you up. Not now that I've finally-"

He stops abruptly, swallowing hard, his eyes wild.

"Jazz, I-"

He shakes his head. "I swear, Edward, if you tell me to go to hell, I'll leave, but..."

I cut him off. "I already told you not to go, Jasper."

He nods. "Please tell me we can try?" he asks quietly. "I promise, I'll do whatever it takes..."

**Condition**

He goes silent, and I take the opportunity to try to think through this. The thought of having Jasper close by – of being able to _see_ him instead of just talking to him – is so tempting. It's what I've asked for every single time he's visited.

I realize abruptly that it's not enough. I don't want him across town somewhere, seeing him for dinner a few times a week.

We're so far past the casual dating stage, no matter how turbulent our history has been.

_Only one way to know…_

"Okay," I say hoarsely. "We can try… on one condition."

**Offer**

My heart's hammering in my chest, my palms suddenly sweaty. I know what I'm about to ask of him is big, especially for someone with his history. But I know that if we're going to make it, I _need_ this from him.

Taking a shaky breath, I say, "Move in with me."

His eyes widen in surprise while mine search his. The seconds ticking away in silence stab at my heart as the fear sets in again, whispering in the back of my mind that he'll leave.

"You want me to move in with you?" he asks hoarsely, incredulously.

Hopefully.

**Question**

"Please," I whisper.

His eyes scan my face as he frowns slightly. I don't know what he's looking for until he says, "Are you sure? I thought after… after what I told you that you'd… I don't know. Want to take it slow?"

I bark a half-laugh. What he's saying makes sense, but not for me. "I've had pieces of you for so long," I say gruffly. "If we're going to work… I need _all_ of you."

He blinks twice, as if in disbelief, but then a smile spreads across his lips. "You're really willing to give me a chance?"

**Reassure**

I nod, squeezing his hand. "I am, Jasper."

Gazing down at our hands, I frown. "Jazz... I've always known what kind of life you led... at least to an extent. You know that. I still chose you. Every time."

Looking up at him, I smile softly at the look of wonder in his face. Cupping his cheek, I murmur, "It isn't fair of me to hold your past against you, even if it hurts to have everything confirmed."

His hand covers mine, holding it to his cheek as he watches me with shimmering eyes.

"Jasper, I want _you_. Always have."

**Accept**

"I'm sorry if I wasn't..." he begins. "No. I'm sorry I _wasn't_ honest with you. The others…" His throat works as he swallows. "I was always very clear. I told them what I was after, and it's what they wanted, too. I couldn't do that with you, and I'm sorry… it took me way too long to realize why."

I feel tension draining as I smile. "You wanted what I did," I say with certainty. He nods with wide eyes. "It's okay to be afraid, Jasper… but can you answer my question now?" I tease.

"Oh," he sputters. "Oh… yes."

**Adjust**

"Yes... you're going to answer, or yes _is_ your answer?" I hate that I have to ask, but I need to be sure. Need _him_ to be sure.

He lets out a breathy laugh, turns his face and kisses the palm of my hand. "Yes, I'll move in with you. If you're really sure?"

I nod, taking a shaky breath. "Welcome home, Jasper," I whisper, smiling.

He tilts his head, a look of awe in his eyes as he murmurs, "Home... I've never... not since…" He blinks, then says again, stronger this time, "Home."

Leaning in, I capture his lips.

**Irony**

His moan is low, nearly breathless, but he doesn't push for more. His lips hesitate against mine, lingering as if he wants to prove that he's looking for something more than sex from me.

Ironically, that's just what I want from him this time.

I smile against his lips and stand, moving so that I'm in front of him. Before he can speak, I pull my shirt over my head and let it fall to the floor before slipping out of my pants. I reach out to take his hand, urging him to stand. "There's one more thing I want…"

**Request**

He stands up slowly, watching me questioningly.

Cupping his cheek, I bite my lip, then say, "I want to watch you undress. Please?"

His eyes widen in surprise. Brushing my thumb over his cheek, I sigh, adding, "In the past, it was always a bittersweet thing to watch you because I knew it wouldn't last. We'd make love, you'd stay a few days, but in the end you'd always leave. I-I want to savor it, this time. I know it sounds strange, but..."

Jasper's kiss cuts off my babbling. "Okay," he breathes against my lips. "I won't leave you, Edward."

**Agree**

Warmth spreads through my chest as I smile at his words. I know on some level that it will take time – not words – to make me really believe that, but it's one hell of a start.

Mischief appears in Jasper's eyes as he watches me. He leans in and kisses me thoroughly, leaving me breathless when he finally pulls away. His fingertips trace the waist of my boxers, making me squirm before he pushes them over my hips.

"Climb in bed, sweetheart," he murmurs, briefly cupping my balls. He gives me a gentle squeeze before winking and turning his back.

**Slow**

He waits, looking over his shoulder until I'm settled in the middle of the bed. When he's satisfied that I can see him, he winks again before turning away.

Slowly – oh, so slowly – he starts undressing himself, letting his fingers linger and tease the skin that's revealed, shaking his ass tauntingly as he shimmies out of his pants and underwear.

His hands roam until he reaches his crotch. Only then does he turn to face me, cock in hand and eyes burning into mine.

I'm transfixed, unable to move as I watch him work himself over. "Oh, fuck," I breathe.

**Beckon**

I stare for so long that at first I don't realize he's waiting for me. He's enjoying himself, yes, but his eyes are focused on mine as his hand strokes his shaft.

With a smile, I lift my hand, beckoning him over with a crooked finger. His lips curve into a half-smile as he crosses the floor with purpose, as if that one sign of permission was all he needed.

His body covers mine, his lips devouring me as I moan against his mouth. Just as quickly, he's gone, sliding down my body before coming to rest between my knees.

**Sudden**

Before I can do or say anything, Jasper's lips wrap around my shaft, stealing away both my breath and my thoughts at the sudden wet heat.

I'm lost as he somehow manages to slick my shaft before taking me deep several times in quick succession. Unable to support myself anymore at the sensation overload, I fall back onto the bed, moaning, my eyes closed as I just allow myself to _feel_.

The sudden pressure of Jasper's lubed finger pushing into me has me gasping in surprise even as I beg for more. Jasper hums, sending delicious shivers through my body.

**Surrender**

He's relentless in his attentions, petting and stroking and pressing while his mouth makes my body sing. I can't do more than hold on, turning myself over to the sensations as my chest heaves and my body flushes.

When his mouth meets mine again, I groan at the taste of salt and myself lingering on his tongue. He's always confident and commanding – and I love it – but this time he pauses and meets my eye.

"Can I make love to you? Please?" he asks hoarsely.

"God... you better." I give a breathy laugh.

Jasper smiles, kissing me with a moan.

**Change**

Jasper seems nervous as he puts the condom on. I can't think through the haze of lust, so it takes time for me to figure out why. It isn't until he's hovering over me, his lips a hair's breadth from mine that it hits me.

_It's different this time._

My fingers thread in his hair, my eyes locked with his as I whisper, "I love you, Jasper."

I feel him smile as we kiss. I moan into his mouth when he enters me slowly. Once his hips are flush with mine, he murmurs, "I love you, too, Edward. So much."

**Contradiction**

Our union is a mixture of contradictions – slow and sweet, sultry and needy. Jasper's hips roll against mine, driving him deeper, harder... faster.

His breath comes in pants that carry my name and words of love – so many things I've waited so long to hear. Before long, physical bliss overtakes the emotional wonder, and I find myself begging. "Oh fuck, baby... please. Just like that... just li- oh!"

Jasper's forehead wrinkles in concentration as he does exactly what I ask, filling me until I can feel nothing but him – just how I want it.

"Can't..." he grunts, shuddering. "Oh fuck!"

**Plead**

His arms tremble with the effort to remain upright. A near-whine escapes me as his movements stop. "Please, please... so close, baby..."

He merely nods, taking steadying breaths as he shifts his weight to one arm. His hips move again, though I can see how much effort it costs him. We both moan and mutter, "Oh God, oh God," when he takes me in hand.

This time, it's Jasper begging, needing me to come almost as much as I do. "C'mon, sweetheart, please... need you to... Oh God, Ed, I love you, please..."

Those words push me over the edge.

**Need**

Everything is still for long moments as we recover. Jasper's body is a welcome weight on mine, pressing me into the mattress even as I hold him tighter.

When he lifts his head, I expect a lazy smile and his typical, _"Thanks, darlin'"_ – words that I both love and hate. What I don't expect is the way he kisses me hungrily, desperately, as if he just can't get enough.

I struggle to keep up, and we're both laughing breathlessly when he pulls out and slides to lie at my side. His hand is hot where it rests on my chest.

**New**

He stares at me with an intensity that would be awkward if it didn't fill me with a sense of being cherished.

"I love you," he whispers so softly, I'm not sure I'm meant to hear it.

I cover his hand with mine, squeezing lightly as I hold it above my heart. "Love you, too."

My own voice is hoarse with emotion. For the first time after making love with him, I feel... complete. Before, I'd always feel hollow and wanting because what I wanted seemed so out of reach, even if he was lying right beside me, but now...

**Balm**

His kiss is soft and sweet, and when he pulls away, he watches me again.

"What is it?" I ask quietly, tracing his jaw with my fingertip.

He flushes and looks away before meeting my gaze with a sheepish smile. "Don't get mad, please?"

I raise one eyebrow, not making any promises.

"I… I kind of thought there was something… wrong with me last time I was here. I had this crazy urge to tell you I loved you. It just…" He trails off, shaking his head before giving me a sweet smile. "I'm glad that urge is still here."

**Light**

I chuckle, closing my eyes, shaking my head in disbelief – and relief. When I open them, I smile, cupping his cheek. "I'm glad it is, too. Hopefully it'll never leave."

At that, he half-lunges, half-pulls, and I find myself wrapped in his arms so tight, I can barely move. Jasper's face is nuzzled in my neck where he alternately kisses, nips, and sucks as he practically growls in my ear, "Never. I'm not letting you go, Edward. Not now that I've found you."

Awkwardly, I hug him, rubbing his back where I can reach. Anchored as I am, I'm floating.

**Beginning**

Eventually, we part. Jasper cleans us both up and then slides back into bed, pulling the covers over us both. Our bodies heat the small space between the sheets, and I can feel just how close he is – closer than ever before.

Our conversation turns to more mundane things, and I wonder aloud, "When do you think you'll move?"

"As soon as possible," he answers.

When I don't respond immediately, he shifts to one elbow and looks down at me. His smile is half-playful, half-determined when he says, "I'm not going to give you a chance to change your mind."

**Plan**

Threading my fingers through his hair, I pull him in for a kiss before whispering against his lips, "I wouldn't dream of it, love."

His smile widens at first, then turns into a frown. As I'm about to ask what's wrong, he murmurs, "Not sure when, though... I've got a couple of meetings scheduled this week, and I'll have to get things in order with my boss since I'm taking the desk job..."

His voice trails off before picking up again, checking with me what would work best. After some back and forth, we settle on three weeks from now.

**Settle**

Even though it's early, we lounge in bed, talking and kissing. Jasper is freer than I've ever seen him before. He pins me to the bed and tickles me, laughing as if he doesn't have a care in the world.

Maybe he doesn't now.

Whenever he looks at me, I see so much in his eyes – relief, hope… love. It makes me feel carefree, too.

He pulls me to sit and then settles in front of me, half in my lap as his legs wrap around my waist. Kissing me deeply, he whispers, "Thank you for giving me a home."

**Home**

Cupping his cheek, I smile. "Thank you for finally making my house a home, Jasper."

His brow furrows slightly in confusion, so I explain that this has never felt like home unless he was here with me. That I'd always felt lonely and... cold, when he's away.

"You moving in, being with me... it's everything I've always wanted, Jasper," I admit quietly, adding, "_And everything I thought I'd never have_," in my mind.

To my surprise, Jasper nods, his eyes shimmering. "We can make this a home together, then," he promises, kissing me.

I nod. "That sounds perfect to me."


	56. Reminders

**A/N: **Happy Birthday, _**mjpiper**_! We hope you have a fantastic day.

As ever, we do not own Twilight - it owns us.

**ooOoo**

**Spy**

Standing at the kitchen sink, I peer out the window under the pretense of washing my hands. I can't help but smile at my little girl, all dressed up and sitting on the garden bench like a proper little lady.

Edward wraps his arms around my waist and kisses my neck. "She's fine," he murmurs.

"I know," I answer automatically. "I'm just making sure she doesn't mess up her dress."

"You mean you're watching to make sure Mason doesn't take after his daddy," he teases.

I can't help but laugh. "Maybe," I allow. "She's just so beautiful."

"And only four."

**Observe**

"I know," I repeat, sighing.

Edward chuckles lowly, his lips teasing the skin beneath my ear before he rests his chin on my shoulder. We both watch through the window as Mason comes barreling across the yard to hop up on the bench beside Bella. Edward inhales sharply when she draws back her small bouquet of roses like she's going to hit her cousin.

Then he laughs when she grins mischievously and kisses him on the cheek instead.

I grumble under my breath, and Edward tickles my side. "Come on… Alice would've been furious if she'd messed up those flowers."

**Caring**

With the flower crisis averted, Edward tries to distract me by turning me around. I lean against the counter as he puts both hands on my hips and kisses me relentlessly until I'm smiling – and panting.

"Now… what's got you so pensive?" he asks with a small grin.

I shrug, but when I start to glance back over my shoulder out the window, he stops me with a hand on my cheek. I meet his green eyes and give him a weak smile.

"It's stupid," I warn.

"I seriously doubt that." His eyes, like his smile, are warm and inviting.

**Talk**

"It's just… _Alice_ should be that age, you know? I mean, she was… what? Five? When you guys moved next door. I remember her being this little tag-along and now…" I let my arms drift down from his neck until my hands are resting on his biceps. I so clearly remember Edward's little sister – ten years his junior – running around in overalls and pigtails.

"Now she's getting married," Edward supplies with pride in his voice.

I nod.

"So… you're upset that we're getting old?" he teases gently.

I give him a flat look, and his smile softens. "I know, Jazz."

**Reassurance**

"It'll go fast, yes… but we have at least a decade or two before we have to worry about her meeting the person she wants to marry. Don't you want that for her?"

I exhale heavily, muttering under my breath. "Of course I do. I just… can't we keep her four forever?"

Edward laughs and presses his lips to mine. "Not without some serious Dr. Who timey-wimey kinda stuff."

I roll my eyes, but as usual, he knows how to bring a smile to my face.

"Look at the bright side," he whispers. "At least McCarty boys will be off-limits."

**Interruption**

"You still bad-mouthing me, Cullen?" a deep voice says.

We turn to find Emmett standing in the doorway of the kitchen. He winks and grins as he crosses the floor to stand near us, looking out the window. I can see his shoulders square in pride as he watches his son. "Mason's a good kid."

"You are, too, Emmett," I tell him.

"I know. I'm awesome."

We all chuckle, and Emmett claps both Edward and me on the shoulder. "Come on… Ali just called and said it's time to get the show on the road. I'll go grab the kids."

**Tease**

He disappears out the side door as Edward steps back to look at me critically. He straightens my tie and brushes off my shoulder before meeting my eyes. "You look gorgeous," he murmurs. His lips linger against mine as he promises, "I'll show you just how gorgeous when this is all over."

"Mmm… promise?"

"Absolutely. No matter what else you are, you're still the man I want to wake up to every day… and make moan my name every night." Stepping back, he grins. "Just remember that when you start to freak out today, okay?"

"Jesus… how could I forget?"

**Time**

The door opens, pushing away lustful thoughts – well, to the back of my mind, anyway – as the kids come skipping inside. Bella rushes over to us and wraps her arms around both our knees, peering up at us with a grin. "It's time!" she squeals.

Before we can answer, she takes off again, heading into the living room where the rest of the family waits.

Emmett follows behind, herding Mason, and we're left alone again.

"Better now?" Edward says.

I smile, nodding. "When did you become the calm one?"

"The day you said 'I do,'" he answers with a smile.

**Rush**

For all that time has dragged all morning, it seems to fly as we pile into the cars and head for the church. The rush makes my chest tighten, reminding me too keenly of my fears that Bella's life will pass just as quickly.

As we head inside, Edward is a charmer – talking to family members, greeting guests, introducing us to people we haven't met – while I feel trapped.

When we take our seats in the pew, he puts his arm around my shoulders and kisses my temple softly. "Relax, love," he breathes. "Garrett will take good care of Alice."

**Calm**

I nod, unable to tell him that I'm not really thinking about his sister. I'm thinking about time.

The music starts, and everyone turns toward the doors. It's not until I hear a chuckle that I look, though.

I laugh at Bella dramatically placing flower petals before her, stopping every few feet to swat at Mason, who steps all over them. When they get to the front, Bella cranes her neck, waving frantically when she sees her dads.

Edward's smile is infectious, and I feel that knot loosening in my chest. "I love you," I whisper.

"Forever, Jasper… I swear."


	57. First Steps

**A/N: **Happy Birthday, _**Zeewriter**_! We hope you have a wonderful day.

As ever, we do not own Twilight - it owns us.

**ooOoo**

**Change**

For what feels like weeks, we've watched Tanya trying to walk by herself. She's taken steps while being held up, but going on her own?

I'm beginning to wonder if she's deliberately holding out on us and walking only when someone – Nana, Grampa, Edward, or me – is holding onto her.

As if she's waiting for... something, though I have no idea what.

Today, however, something seems different. Tanya's sitting at the coffee table, holding on with both hands as she tries to lift herself up. When she makes it, she giggles and looks at me triumphantly.

"Da!" she cries out.

**Promise**

I smile and nod encouragingly, holding my hands out to her. "Come on, Tanya, you can do it."

She bounces up and down a few times, giggling. Her eyes twinkle as she gauges the distance between her and the dining room table where I'm working.

Holding my breath, I watch as she lets go of first one hand, then the other, and just... stands there.

_C'mon, baby girl, you can do it._

I can hear Edward in the kitchen. Not wanting him to miss our little girl's first steps, I call out softly, "Ed, babe, come here real quick. Quietly."

**Pause**

Tanya's distracted by a toy, and for a second I wonder if she'll stop again. She bends over, touching the stuffed unicorn from Rose. She surprises me when she pushes it out of the way and straightens up unsteadily.

Edward slips his arms around my neck from behind, whispering, "Did I miss anything?"

I shake my head, my eyes never leaving Tanya as she starts to wobble, grabs hold of the coffee table, and then tentatively puts one foot in front of the other, moving herself along until she can get no further.

She looks at us, grinning widely. "Da!"

**Triumph**

"Come on, Tanya," I hear Edward murmur, echoing my thoughts.

She bounces twice again – then, almost in slow motion, takes that first step without any support.

Two, three, four, five, six steps, and she's almost to us.

Edward's arms tighten around me, and we both glance at each other with pride and glee at seeing our little girl take her first steps.

"Da!" she cries again, her little hands opening and closing demandingly.

Laughing, Edward's arms slip from my neck as I lean forward to reach for Tanya. She practically launches herself at me, squealing when I hoist her up.

**Celebrate**

Edward and I both hug her, alternately kissing each other and Tanya's cheeks, forehead, crown, hands – anywhere we can reach.

All the while, she's giggling up a storm, pleased as punch at her victory.

After a few minutes, Edward squats next to us, running his fingers through Tanya's hair as he says, "This calls for a special treat. What do you say, Princess?"

Her eyes go wide as she claps her hands together. "Ice cweam, ice cweam!"

Ruffling her hair, he grins. "Should've known." He disappears into the kitchen.

Minutes later, we're all seated around the table, enjoying ice cream.

**Content**

After she's cleaned up, Tanya goes back to playing with her toys, babbling away at her unicorn.

Edward slips his arms around me again and kisses my temple. "She's growing up so fast," he murmurs with a sigh.

"I know," I groan.

He smacks my chest, chuckling. "Starting to feel old?"

I grin up at him. "Maybe just a little," I admit. "I'm grateful, though, that we're able to work from home. I wouldn't miss this for the world."

"Me, too, Jazz." Putting his finger under my chin, he tilts my face to his, kissing me lightly. We're so lucky."


	58. Damn Cat

**A/N: **Happy Birthday, _**Tootsie2121**_! We hope you have a fantastic day.

As ever, we do not own Twilight - it owns us.

**ooOoo**

**Stray**

"Meow! Meow! Meow!"

Pulling my pillow from underneath my head, I press it over my ears, trying to drown out the incessant meowing coming from right outside my window.

It's the same fucking stray that's been hanging around for the past few weeks. Nothing seems to get rid of him.

Much to Bella's delight, of course. She leaves food out, encouraging it to stick around even while I try to scare it off every chance I get.

I am _not_ a cat person.

Give me a dog any day. Dogs can be taught tricks. Dogs listen. Dogs obey.

Cats... own.

**Grumble**

"We're gonna have to take that damn cat to the pound," I mutter as I wander into the kitchen – much earlier than I wanted to.

Bella whirls around from the stove with a wooden spoon in her hand. "What?"

When I get to her, I try to pull her close for a kiss, but she pushes away from me with a frown. "What did you say?"

Raising an eyebrow, I kiss the top of her head and go to flop down in a chair before answering. "That cat. Damn thing's been screeching out there for an hour."

Her eyes narrow.

**Argue**

"Maybe if you let him in, he'd stop," she argues, turning around stiffly to stir whatever she's cooking.

"Not bloody likely," I mutter under my breath.

Or at least, I think I do, but Bella hears anyway and is on me in a flash, smacking my arm with her spoon. "Jacob Michael Black! Have you _seen_ the weather lately?"

"Ow! Careful, Bells."

I rub my arm, glowering at her. "Cat's got fur. They're outside creatures, Bella. They endure."

"Like hell!"

And on and on it goes for almost half an hour, not stopping til the smoke alarm goes off.

**Cranky**

Bella waves the towel at the alarm while I stand on a chair to pull out the battery. When it's quiet again, she shoots a look at me and goes to the stove, peering inside the pot.

"Damn it!" she yells, throwing her spoon down. She sighs and turns abruptly, stalking down the hall. "Sauce is ruined. Figure out lunch yourself."

I wince as I hear the office door close.

"It's just a fucking cat," I mutter – really under my breath, this time.

Kicking the table with the heel of my foot, I try to figure out what to do.

**Food**

I'm definitely not the chef in the family, but I figure I'd better _try_ to get back in Bella's good graces, even if I can't understand her damn fascination with that stupid cat.

So I scour the fridge and the pantry and grin when I find everything I need for Indian tacos, something my dad taught me to make. It's not the healthiest thing in the world, but Bella loves them and asks me to make them every once in a while.

It takes time to get everything ready, and it's well past lunch when I knock on her door.

**Truce**

When she calls, "Come in," I push open the door and peek in.

"I come bearing food," I say as I step in, holding the tray in front of me like a white flag. "Is it safe?"

She snorts and sighs, rolling her eyes. She pushes her hair out of her face and looks up at me from her seat on the floor, surrounded by stacks of pictures. "Yeah… it's fine."

I give her a smile that she half-returns as I put the tray on my desk. "What are you up to?"

"Oh… nothing, really. Just organizing… scrapbooking, you know?"

**Understand**

She moves to her desk as I put her plate down in front of her. I watch her eat for a moment, frowning at the near-mechanical way in which she moves – a sure sign that something's on her mind.

With a sigh, I begin to eat as well, but the food doesn't taste as good as it normally would.

Once we're both finished, I stack everything back on the tray and hand her a wet-wipe and a cloth to clean her fingers with.

She smiles faintly in thanks.

"So whose pictures are those?" I ask, hoping to grasp her mood.

**Sad**

"Mine," she answers.

Trying not to sigh, I move to kneel on the floor. "Can I look?"

When I glance at her, she nods, pulling her foot up into her chair and wrapping her arms around her knee. I bite the inside of my cheek in an attempt to be patient and not just _make _her tell me what's going on.

Picking up one pile, I chuckle at pictures of a very young, very adorable Bella playing with a kitten. When I switch to the next pile, I find her older – and playing with a German shepherd.

"Felix?" I ask.

**Miss**

She nods, then looks away.

I sigh, sifting through more pictures of rabbits, dogs, cats, rats – all pets Bella had while growing up.

The only one I've actually seen myself is Felix, who still lives with her father.

Bella's sigh makes me look at her. She runs her fingers through her hair, still turned away from me. "I just... I miss having animals around, Jake. Miss having the kind of love a pet gives, you know? It's just not the same..."

She trails off, resting her forehead on her knee.

I watch her, trying to understand. I've never had pets.

**Dawn**

Sometimes, I'm slow – I can admit it. Well, to myself anyway. Apparently that's the case here, as I suddenly realize what's been going on.

_Fuck. Way to go, Jake__._

Biting the inside of my cheek, I flip through the pictures again, not really seeing any of them as I try to figure out how the hell to fix this. It's not every day that I semi-threaten my wife's pseudo-pet.

When I glance at Bella again, she's tuned out, staring into space.

_Damn sure not going to get anywhere sitting around here…_

Standing up, I kiss the top of her head.

**Plan**

That cat knows to steer clear of me. I've proven too many times that I'm dangerous to its health, so I do the first thing I think of.

I go to Embry's.

He's not only one of my best friends. He's also a vet, so I hope that he can help me. When I explain my problem, he just gives me a hard time about it at first – not that I expect any different.

After a few shots at my ego, however, he calls in the troops. Soon Seth, Leah, Sam, Emily, and Quil are all in his living room.

**Catch**

"We're doing _what_?" Leah asks in disbelief. "You're out of your mind."

"Shut up, Leah," Seth says automatically. "How're we gonna do this?" he asks, turning to Embry.

We head out into the snow to make the short walk back to my apartment. Leah complains the whole way, but we ignore her as we listen to Embry's plan. He goes on and on until Quil rolls his eyes.

"Dude," he interrupts. "It's _one_ cat. There are… what? Seven of us? All we have to do is surround the stupid thing." He snorts.

Embry just laughs and shakes his head. "Sure."

**Mutter**

By the time we get to my place, Bella isn't there, though she left a note that says she's gone grocery shopping.

"That gives us about an hour and a half, guys," I say to them.

They nod and head to their places in the garden, surrounding the area where we know the cat hangs out. Embry's brought food, treats, toys – the works – in hopes of luring it.

Forty-five minutes later, we're freezing, frustrated, and begging. Nothing works. The cat just glares at us from its hiding place – just out of reach.

"Fucking figures Simba's too chicken," Leah grouches quietly.

**Streak**

As soon as the words leave her mouth, the stupid cat comes flying out of its hiding spot. Seth lunges to catch it, but it darts away, throwing a hiss at Seth's outstretched hands.

It slows down and… prances over to where Leah is standing before calmly sitting at her feet. "What the hell?" Leah mutters, frowning before she crouches and reaches out her hand tentatively. "Mangy little furball… your name's Simba?"

The cat presses its head against her hand before turning and biting her finger. She curses and stands up, but the cat just rubs against her leg, purring.

**Treat**

Embry approaches cautiously, and before long, Simba's in a carrier. The grin on Embry's face tells me the name's going to stick – he'd warned me earlier about cats and names.

When I thank my friends for helping, Leah smirks and says, "Yeah, I'll send along my medical bills."

I follow Embry to his office, where he examines Simba and gives him shots, all the while explaining the ins and outs of cat-care to me.

He helps me pick out a collar, food, and all the other necessities before sending me home, Simba in tow.

Bella's car is in the driveway.

**Surprise**

The cat's been howling nonstop, so when I stop just outside our door, I lift the carrier up to eye level.

He growls.

"Hey, look," I whisper, trying not to let Bella hear. "I know I was a jerk, alright? I'm sorry. Can we forget about all that?"

He hisses.

I sigh.

Running my fingers through my hair, I lower the carrier again and open the door. I hear Bella in the kitchen, and I put the carrier down and take off my coat and hat before calling, "Hey, babe? Could you come here a sec?"

"Unbelievable," she mutters quietly.

**Reaction**

Shoving my hands into my back pockets, I wait for her. Miraculously, Simba goes quiet.

As soon as Bella rounds the corner, her grumbling ceases, her eyes widen as she takes in the cat carrier, and her mouth works futilely.

When she looks up at me with questioning eyes, I take a deep breath and say, "Bells, I'm sorry... I didn't understand – hell, not sure I do now, but... I didn't mean to make you feel bad. I – we – caught Simba for you.

I nod at the carrier.

Bella blinks, tilting her head as if trying to figure something out.

**Insistent **

"Simba?" she says finally, a slight frown on her face. At the sound of his name, the cat lets out a horrible yowl.

I start to kneel beside the cage, but Bella's faster. She reaches for the latch, talking in a soft voice the whole time. "What are you doing here, pretty boy?" she coos. "Did that mean old Jake catch you?"

I clench my jaw as I straighten up.

_You've got to be fucking _kidding_ me__._

Before I can get too pissed off that she still seems to be mad, she glances up at me with a beaming smile.

**Amends**

She straightens, clutching the cat to her chest and petting him. Her eyes flicker between Simba and me for a few moments before settling on me. She grins.

"Simba, huh?" she asks.

Rubbing the back of my neck, I smirk. "Yeah. Blame Leah for that one."

Her eyes widen in surprise. "_Leah_ helped?"

I nod.

Simba begins to purr – loudly. Bella laughs. When she looks at me again, I can tell how happy she is.

She cups my cheek. "Thanks, Jake. This... means so much. I can't quite believe... I know how you feel about cats, and I... Just... Thanks."

**Adjust**

"I love you, Bells," I say simply. "I know I'm an ass sometimes, but… I do."

Her eyes soften when she smiles at me. "I know, Jake. And I love you, too."

As my smile grows, I wrap my arms around her and pull her close, only to feel Simba claw at my chest. "Damn it!" I mutter, stepping back.

Bella shifts him to the side and looks at me worriedly. "Sorry… guess it'll take a little time."

"It's alright. We've got time."

She kisses me gently, and I know I'm right – we've got all the time in the world.


	59. Finding the Rhythm

**A/N: **Happy Birthday, _**Fiberkitty**_! We're so sorry we're a little late, but as you can see - these boys had a lot to say. We hope you had a fantastic day and that this extends it just a little further.

As ever, we do not own Twilight - it owns us.

**ooOoo**

**Beat**

The music pounds, vibrating through my bones, and I focus on it completely in the darkness behind my eyelids. It consumes me, controlling every little movement of my body.

Hot hands roam my bare chest, dipping low enough to brush the studded leather belt I'm wearing before drifting back up to tease my nipple. I feel my lips curve into a wicked smile, but I don't even open my eyes long enough to figure out who's enjoying my body.

It doesn't matter.

I'm here for two things – music and the sense of flying.

All that changes when my eyes open.

**Stun**

"Edward?" My breathless voice has nothing to do with exertion from dancing and everything to do with the gorgeous man with tousled bronze hair and a wicked smirk standing before me.

"Hello, Riley," he murmurs, and I somehow catch his voice despite the music.

I feel warm breath on my neck and realize it wasn't his hands roaming my skin.

Disappointment floods through me, and in that second I understand so many things – why we were always at odds in high school, why I stole Victoria from him, why I hated him so intensely.

It wasn't hate.

It was desire.

**Revert**

"What the hell are you doing here, Cullen?"

The words fly out of my mouth before I even have time to think, and I wince internally at the way I instantly feel like I'm back in high school again.

Awkward. Lonely. Desperate.

His smirk deepens. "Still like that, huh?" He shrugs, and I see a hint of disappointment in his eyes.

"No," I answer, intending to stop him from leaving… and then I realize, he wasn't. His eyes flicker over my right shoulder, and I turn to find that the hand-roamer is a tall, lanky blond with a devastating smile.

**Scramble**

"Hey, I'm sorry," I say quickly, turning to Edward. "I didn't mean–"

"It's cool, Ri. High school was a long time ago, but it's hard to let go of some things, I guess…"

I'm left the same way he left me so often before – at a complete loss for words.

The smile he gives me is warmer, and the blond's fingertips skim my chest as I feel his hips move behind me.

He makes it hard to concentrate on what Edward is saying, but I catch, "I didn't mean to interrupt or anything. When I saw you, I just…"

**Correct**

"Oh, you're not interrupting!" The speed with which words keep flying out of my mouth is embarrassing, but I can't seem to stop it. I glance over my shoulder and say lightly, "No offense."

"None taken," the blond chuckles, and when I look back at Edward, he's giving me a wry smile.

"Jasper's with me," he says, and I hear the possessive tone in his voice. It makes something in me ache.

_Why the fuck is he affecting me this way?_

I haven't thought about Edward Cullen in years, but facing him here and now… it's like he never left.

**Front**

"So why's he molesting me?"

This time I feel Jasper's chuckle against my back. Warm lips caress my neck, and he murmurs into my ear, "Because you're fucking sexy."

I shoot a questioning look at Edward, not trusting myself to say anything else.

"When I saw you tonight…" Edward begins, but then he trails off, meeting my gaze with a helpless expression.

Jasper's fingers roll my nipples as he whispers conspiratorially, "When he saw you tonight, he couldn't stop talking about you. How hot you were in high school, how he was afraid you'd find out he was into you…"

**Warning**

"Jasper!" Edward hisses.

I feel Jasper shrug and feel his smile against my skin. "What? No point hiding it…"

Edward rolls his eyes, and I see a faint flush climb up his neck. "Sorry. Jasper doesn't know when to stop."

"Never stop." I barely catch Jasper's whisper, but Edward's eyes narrow as if he knows what was said.

I'm left feeling awkwardly like I'm in the middle of a lovers' spat, so I clear my throat, drawing Edward's gaze back to me. "Is that true?"

He reaches up, rubbing the back of his neck before smiling sheepishly at me. "Yeah."

**Harsh**

That one simple word sends me reeling, and I ask the first thing that comes to mind. "Why didn't you say anything?"

Edward raises both eyebrows and gives me a flat look. "Because you were fucking my girlfriend."

I wince and look away, ashamed all over again for how I behaved back then.

"Don't, Riley. It was a long time ago. I've… moved on." I can't meet his gaze head-on, so I peer up at him through my eyelashes. He gives me a softer, somewhat understanding smile. "I probably should've thanked you… you kept me from having to pretend anymore."

**Move**

As I'm trying to think over the thudding bass, the absurdity of the situation washes over me. This isn't a conversation I should be having in the middle of a crowded dance floor with the man I wronged while his lover grinds against me.

"Come on," I say abruptly, grabbing his hand.

If he's surprised, he doesn't show it – and neither does Jasper, who takes my other hand and comes along. I glance at him out of the corner of my eye, and he gives me a sultry smile.

_Bizarre._

Stopping by the bar, I give Edward a questioning look.

**Order**

"Cum in a Hot Tub and whiskey neat," he tells the bartender while my eyebrows crawl toward my hairline.

I order my own rum and Coke and wait as our drinks are made. Telling the bartender to put it on my tab, I lead the way toward the balcony doors.

When we step outside, the cool night air nearly freezes the sweat on my skin, and I shiver. I put my drink on one of the tables scattered around and pull my shirt from my back pocket, yanking it over my head before turning to face the two of them.

**Expectations**

I don't know why, but I expected Jasper to be the one drinking the cocktail. Instead, he downs his whiskey in two long pulls while Edward sips his drink.

Unsure if I'm repulsed or intrigued by his choice in drinks, I take a deep drink of my rum and Coke and try to figure out where to begin.

Glancing around, I notice we're alone, other than a couple making out against the wall at the far end of the balcony. The cold weather has driven everyone else inside.

I take a seat at the table, hoping they'll do the same.

**Join**

Jasper sits first, taking the chair across from me, and Edward hesitates for just a moment before sitting between us. He stares into his drink as if it holds the answers to questions I can't even begin to fathom.

I have one of my own, though. "I don't understand." My voice reverberates in the relative quiet after the auditory assault of the club, so I lower it before adding, "Why did you come over to me?"

When Edward looks up, the honesty in his green eyes disarms me. "I had to."

Jasper reaches over and pats his thigh, squeezing it.

**Honest**

He sips his drink again and then puts his glass on the wrought iron table. "This is ridiculous," he begins, and I wait to find out what he means. "Look… I'm sorry I sort of… antagonized you back then. I know I started shit, and I know why. I even knew then. I just couldn't admit that… well, that one glimpse of you in those skinny jeans got me harder than Victoria ever did naked."

As rum burns my throat, I wonder vaguely if all this is really happening. I don't know how to find out, so I just listen.

**Surreal**

He talks for what seems like forever, admitting things I'm not sure I ever could – even if it was the same for me. Jasper rewards him by scooting his chair behind Edward's and leaning forward, trailing kisses along his neck. Edward seems not to notice, but every once in awhile, his hands clench into fists and his eyes flutter closed.

He finishes with, "So I'm sorry I was an asshole… I'm glad I finally got the chance to tell you that, even if the circumstances are… well…"

"Bizarre," I supply. They both laugh.

"Yeah. Sorry about that, too."

"Don't be."

**Reciprocate**

"I thought you were such a dick," I say, and he sighs, nodding. "But I was, too. Seriously, I'm the one that should be apologizing. I stole your girlfriend just because she was your girlfriend. That's fucked up."

One corner of his lips lifts into a half-smile. "True."

"I'm sorry for that," I add before finding myself at a loss again.

Edward and I stare at each other in silence until Jasper finally lifts his head. "So… is all the heavy shit over with?"

I can't help laughing, and Edward joins me before turning his head to kiss Jasper deeply.

**Light**

When they part, Jasper winks at Edward before turning to me. "Wanna dance?"

My eyes widen, and Edward chuckles. Then he smirks at me. "More has changed since high school than just my sexual preference becoming common knowledge," he says cryptically.

"Meaning..?"

"Meaning you should dance with Jasper." He leans forward as if to stand, but stops inches from me. "So I can watch you," he breathes.

"I don't understand."

"Do you need to?" Jasper asks, holding a hand out to me.

My eyes trail from his outstretched hand up his arm, across his surprisingly broad chest, to his face.

**Chance**

I'm not entirely sure how I find myself on the dance floor with Jasper's chest pressed against my back again. I feel awkward with Edward watching from a few feet away, still sipping his cocktail.

I can't seem to lose myself in the music. My movements seem mechanical and uncoordinated – two words that never describe me. Jasper's breath is hot against my skin as he exhales slowly, his palms flattening against my chest. "Breathe, baby… just feel it."

_Feel what, exactly?_

The sarcastic retort is on the tip of my tongue, but I close my eyes, concentrating on the beat.

**Lose**

Jasper begins murmuring, whispering words of encouragement, making sounds that mean nothing but that keep me focused on him. His skin sears against mine at every point of contact, and I begin seeking out his heat.

I'm completely lost in him when I feel another warm body against my chest. I open my eyes lazily, unsurprised to find Edward's face just before mine. "May I?"

The hungry look in his eyes makes his charming whisper perhaps the hottest thing I've ever heard. I don't ask what he means. I just nod, closing my eyes as his soft lips meet mine.

**Fulfill **

At the realization that Edward Cullen is kissing me, every dirty, forbidden, secret fantasy I ever had of him comes rushing back. I reach out, grabbing his hips and pulling him to me roughly as I tilt my head and deepen our kiss.

His groan rumbles through my chest, and I feel the brush of Jasper's arms against my biceps as he reaches out to hold onto Edward, too. He never ceases his attention – brushing kisses along my neck, nipping my ear – and I wonder abruptly what _he_ tastes like.

I break our kiss, panting as I look at Edward.

**Test**

With my eyes on Edward, I slowly turn my head toward Jasper. Edward's lips lift in a smile, which I take as an invitation.

Breaking our gaze, I find Jasper watching me, his eyes smoldering. As soon as our eyes meet, his lips claim mine, and I hum at the taste of whiskey and a lingering sweetness.

His hands slide from Edward down to my waist, settling on the sensitive skin just inside my hips. A second set of calloused hands skim my chest, and I feel Edward's body pressed tight against mine.

"My turn," he whispers into my ear.

**Disappointment**

I smile, my lips lingering against Jasper's before I break our kiss. When I turn to Edward, though, he brushes past me to kiss Jasper passionately. Sandwiched between them, all I can do is stare, watching their lips move together intimately.

Stare… and then moan.

My momentary sense of rejection fades as I let myself simply enjoy what is happening. I'm surrounded by their heat and the friction of our bodies, and watching those two gorgeous men kiss inches from my face is amazingly arousing.

When they part, they share a secret smile as they stare into each other's eyes.

**Agree**

Jasper gives a nearly imperceptible nod, and Edward's face splits into a wide grin. I don't have time to ask what it all means, though, as Edward's fingers begin toying with the waist of my jeans and his lips claim mine again.

Jasper's warm body moves behind me, his teasing palms gliding over my back and shoulders as he kisses my neck.

I hum softly and close my eyes, letting my head loll back onto Jasper's shoulder. A stray thought flits across my mind – an idle wondering of how I'm here, what I'm doing – but I let it fade away.

**Alone**

"I'll be right back."

The sound of Jasper's voice over the music startles me. I don't know how long we've danced this way – entwined, enthralled – but it's long enough that his disappearance leaves me feeling hollow somehow.

Edward chuckles at my expression and pulls me close. He wraps his arm low around my waist and lets his knee slip between mine. When I smile, he kisses me softly.

Something about the intimacy catches me off guard. "What about Jasper?" I say.

He pulls back far enough to give me an amused smile. "Just now wondering that?"

I bite my lip.

**Share**

We dance body-to-body, pressed as close together as we can possibly be with our clothes still on. Music thuds around us, drumming out everything, even the press of other bodies close by. We are alone as can be in the middle of a crowded dance floor.

Edward's lips brush my ear as he whispers, "To answer your question… Jasper and I like to share."

"Share?" I pull back to look at him, needing to see his face.

He smirks. "Yes, share. You might remember it from kindergarten?"

"Smart ass," I grumble, frowning at him.

He gives me a devilish grin.

**Slow**

I lick my lips, intrigued by possibilities suddenly presenting themselves. "Share… as in… maybe I could finally find out what it's like to fuck you?"

"That's not sharing," Edward says, and I frown again.

"Then what the fuck do-"

He cuts me off. "That's selfish. We _share_…" He leans closer, whispering, "As in, you can find out what it's like to fuck me… while Jasper's finding out what it's like to fuck you."

"Holy _fuck_," I sputter.

He laughs. "Why, yes… yes, it would be."

"I…" I trail off, completely unsure _what_ I am – except suddenly very, very horny.

_Jesus._

**Hesitate**

As I contemplate what he's suggesting, a thought suddenly hits me – one that stops me in my tracks.

_What if he's fucking with me to get back at me?_

Old high school fears resurface, and I wonder if I'm setting myself up to get pantsed in the locker room, so to speak. After all, I was a total fuckhole to him – what if this is all a set-up?

He must see the change in my expression and sense the way my movements slow because he reaches up and cups my cheek, forcing me to meet his gaze. "What's the matter?"

**Blush**

I glance away, my cheeks heating as I force myself to move again. I can't seem to find the rhythm, though, and Edward's not fooled.

"Riley?"

I look back to find him frowning slightly, his forehead wrinkled. I try a smile that fails miserably.

"Talk to me, Riley. What's going on?"

I sigh and shake my head again, even as I say, "It's nothing. It's stupid."

"Anything that makes you look like that has to be something. Tell me."

Swallowing, I study his face, completely unsure what to do with this commanding, confident Edward – so unlike the guy I knew.

**Explain**

I find myself nearly stuttering as I try to get the words out. I'm amazed at how quickly I'm reduced from the confident, accomplished man _I've_ become to an awkward kid again.

Edward slows, freezing as he listens, and when I finish with, "Are you sure you're not just fucking with me?" he sighs and shakes his head.

He gives me a rueful half-smile and presses a hard kiss against my lips. "Riley… I can tell you that when I saw you tonight, I absolutely, completely, without a doubt thought nothing except that I wanted you. Let it go… please?"

**Apology**

He kisses my jaw, moving his lips to my ear. "I honest-to-god don't _care_ that you fucked Victoria. I don't care that we made each other's lives hell every single day. I don't even care that you spread rumors that I sucked Emmett's cock."

The heat in my cheeks blazes at that. "Fuck. I forgot that one. God, I'm sorry."

He shrugs. "Long time ago. I'm over it. Besides, I did."

I can't help but laugh, and he joins me. When our eyes meet, his smile seems genuine.

"How can you just get over all that?"

He sighs in exasperation.

**Convince**

"Can I ask you something?" he asks instead of answering.

"Yeah, sure."

He steps back then, putting as much distance between us as possible – which isn't much, considering the crowd surrounding us. He has to raise his voice to say, "Do you hate me?"

"No," I answer, surprised.

"Do you want to kick my ass right now?"

"No…"

"Then why can't you believe that I don't hate you either?"

When he puts it like that, I feel stupid for my reservations. He studies my face and then smiles, grabbing my hand and yanking me back to him. "Now…" he whispers.

**Proposition**

"About what I said earlier…" His breath tickles my ear as his hands drift down my back, cupping my ass. "I meant it. You have any plans for later tonight?"

A thrill of anticipation shoots through me, and I let myself focus on the fantasy for a moment – burying my cock in Edward's ass, seeing Jasper's lean, nude body for the first time, feeling him stretch me.

"Jesus," I breathe.

Edward chuckles and squeezes my ass. "Can I take that to mean you're free?"

Before I can answer, strong arms wrap around me from behind. "What'd I miss?" Jasper asks.

**Taunt**

Edward's eyes are on me as he says to Jasper, "I just invited Riley to our place tonight."

"Excellent… what'd he say?" His voice lowers as he kisses the join of my neck and shoulder.

"Nothing yet." Edward smirks.

Jasper's breath tickles my ear as he whispers, "Do you need a little convincing, Ri? We'd be more comfortable at home, but say the word, and I'll take you to the bathroom and show you just how good I am on my knees."

I cough at his candor, and Edward's grin widens. Quickly turning halfway, I stare at Jasper in disbelief.

**Spot**

"What do you say, Riley?" Edward asks, and something about the way they both watch me tells me this is the moment of no return. Oh, I'm sure we _could_ just keep dancing, but it would be half-hearted, and I know it would end with all of us disappointed.

I don't want that.

Still, I've never been with two guys at once – especially not when one of them was someone I thought I hated all my life – so my heart is in my throat when I eloquently say, "Umm…" I glance between the two of them. "Yeah, okay… I'm in."

**Leave**

Jasper holds open the door to a sleek gunmetal gray car completely unlike the flashy silver Volvo Edward drove in high school. I climb into the backseat and then slide over quickly when Jasper nearly sits in my lap.

Edward, sitting behind the wheel, laughs at my expression in the rear-view mirror, but his words are directed at Jasper. "That eager, baby?"

"Mmm…" Jasper hums wordlessly, his fingers trailing down my chest as he kisses my ear. "Can't help it… I want you, Riley."

That last bit – low-pitched and needy – makes me moan with him. "Fuck," I whisper, kissing him.

**Drive**

Jasper sprawls out on top of me, pressing my body into the supple leather seat. He kisses me relentlessly, leaving me panting each time he breaks our kiss to explore my chest with his lips.

I'm so focused on him that I am barely aware of the drive, noticing only when a particular curve causes his hard cock to press more forcefully against me.

His teasing hands drift over my crotch, lightly touching, never squeezing, and I find myself whining and wordlessly pleading.

It's not until he suddenly sits up that I notice we've stopped. "You ready, Riley?" he asks.

**Pause**

When we step in the door, Edward turns to hang our coats – which we hadn't bothered to wear – on the coat rack. Jasper takes my hand, laces his fingers through mine, and says, "Can we get you a drink?"

Something about the normalcy of it all gives me pause. The atmosphere has shifted, the charge replaced with something… proper.

The thought almost makes me snort.

My gut warns me not to pause, not to let this slip into a night of hanging out, because I'm not sure I'll be able to go through with it if I think about it.

**Plunge**

Everything is silent in the wooden entryway until I shake my head. "No," I murmur.

A smile flits across Edward's face before his desire-darkened eyes train on mine. He steps closer, reaching up to cup my cheek as he licks his lips. Jasper's body presses against mine, his free hand slipping down to squeeze my ass.

Our bodies entangle naturally – hands caressing, lips exploring – and I wonder how this can feel _right_.

I don't know which of them leads, but soon we're all making our way down a hall to a room, where the dim light reveals a massive bed.

**Whisper**

"Shit," I breathe, unable to tear my eyes away from the bed that seems to dominate the room.

A low, amused chuckle that I identify as Edward's comes from my left, and Jasper appears in front of my face. He kisses me softly, deeply, and then pulls back with a wink. "Still in?" he whispers.

My eyes scan his face before slipping to the left. One look at Edward's face – concerned, questioning, _hopeful_ – is enough to make me nod. "Absolutely."

They wear matching grins as they close in on me, mouths and hands working to rid me of my clothes.

**Push**

I feel the back of the bed hit my thighs, and Jasper gives me a shove, making me sit down hard. Before I can ask what's happening, he drops to his knees in front of me. I curse under my breath, and then Edward's there beside him.

My eyes widen as I take a deep, stuttering breath when both their tongues lick leisurely lines up the ridge of my cock. They tangle at my tip, pausing to kiss each other hungrily, the head of my dick still within the confines of their open mouths.

I moan and whimper, completely overwhelmed.

**Helpless**

I feel almost lost as they work me over. All I can do is stare and groan and try not to come while they completely dominate me. They work as a single entity – my cock hits the back of Jasper's throat while Edward kisses me passionately, his hand lightly kneading my balls.

As soon as Edward's hand slides away, Jasper's replaces it, almost as if in answer to some silent communication. When my wordless utterances reach a fevered pitch, Jasper finally pulls away, smirking up at me through his lashes while he licks his lips.

"Told you I was good."

**Break**

We all three laugh, shattering whatever tension might've been left. I can't speak, so I grab Jasper beneath the arms, surprised by my complete lack of strength when I try to lift him.

Luckily, he takes the hint and crawls on top of me, helping me to slide up the bed. Only when his body is flush with mine, his cold metal belt buckle meeting my overheated skin, do I realize that they're both still dressed.

I try to protest, but it's impossible with Jasper's mouth devouring mine, his tongue exploring every recess.

"Lie here and watch, baby," he whispers.

**Dance**

With that, he slips away, moving to stand beside the bed. Edward clicks on a lamp, brightening the room that much more, and I'm mesmerized by the way they close the distance between them.

Every step is deliberate, their eyes trained on each other in a way that makes me almost feel like an intruder.

That is, until Edward turns suddenly, his back to Jasper's chest as they both look at me. Edward reaches up, his fingers tangling in Jasper's blond hair, and I'm intensely aware that this is how I must have looked on the dance floor with Jasper.

**Seduce**

It's strange, really.

I'm nude – in their bed – with pre-come wetting my abdomen, so aroused I can't begin to think straight, but every move they make is still calculated for seduction.

As if they need to do anything more.

At least one set of eyes is always on me, blue and green alike checking for my reaction as they undress each other. Their bodies undulate, moved by some unheard but present beat.

When Edward unbuttons Jasper's shirt and kisses his way down his chest, I inhale sharply and sit up, my hand gripping my aching cock at the revealed ink.

**Pleased**

"I think he likes that," Jasper murmurs, and Edward glances over his shoulder.

When he sees me stroking myself, he moans softly and grins, turning back to lick a long line around the edge of the tattoo on Jasper's ribs. From his knees, he looks up at Jasper. "Show him mine," he whispers.

One side of Jasper's lips curves into a smile as he reaches down and pulls Edward's shirt over his head. I groan at the sight of black ink stretching across Edward's back – _Edward_, the golden boy, the perfect student, the captain of the Academic Team.

"Fuck me."

**Accept**

I didn't mean to speak aloud, but I'm almost glad I did when they both stop and turn to look at me.

"I think I will," Jasper answers with a smirk.

After exchanging a quick glance, he and Edward make short work of their clothes. As they crawl up the bed toward me, I watch with wide eyes, not wanting to miss a second.

Hot kisses and teasing caresses heighten the sensation of two hard bodies pressed against mine. When Edward pulls away, his voice is pouting and playful. "Riley?" At my acknowledging hum, he whispers, "Will you fuck me?"

**Interrupt**

"Fuck yes," I answer breathlessly, pulling him hard to me and kissing him with everything I have.

Jasper's blond curls brush my forehead when he leans down to whisper, "Riley?"

"Hmm?" I open my eyes, my lips lingering against Edward's.

"Can I fuck you?" Jasper's blue eyes blaze as he speaks, and I nearly whimper, suddenly wanting nothing more than to feel that man stretching me.

"Please," I manage.

With a quick smile, he suddenly disappears. Edward's insistent lips make my eyes close again, but they pop open when I feel Jasper's strong hands lifting my knees from the mattress.

**Flutter**

A momentary feeling of uncertainty stabs my gut, and Edward pulls back to look at my face. He gives me a small smile and cups my cheek. "Say the word, Riley."

I know what he's offering – a way out – but I _really_ don't want to take it. I shake my head, taking a deep breath as I spread my legs wider for Jasper, who hums something unintelligible and kisses my thigh.

Edward smiles as he shifts, moving to straddle me. "Did you know…" he whispers against my lips, "that since I was fifteen years old, I've imagined you like this?"

**Defense**

Strangely moved by his admission, I cover with a smartass reply. "What? With another man between my – oh dear _god_," I break off as Jasper's lubed finger brushes across my tight entrance.

"No," Edward says wryly. "That's a later addition…"

He leans down, biting my bottom lip hard enough to make me hiss.

"What I imagined is straddling you…" He nips at my chin, making his way along my jaw. "Feeling your cock buried deep in my ass… riding you… feeling you claw my chest…"

"Jesus."

His whispered words drive me to a frenzy, just like Jasper's fingers stretching me.

**Ready**

"It's what helped me make it through dating Victoria…" he continues, admissions pouring off his tongue, though I have trouble concentrating on them as Jasper's fingers slip in and out of me, his thumb massaging my prostate.

It's only when I'm nearly ready to yell for him to just fuck me already that I realize I haven't been paying attention to Edward.

"Shit, sorry," I mumble, moving to sit up.

Edward pushes me back down with a seductive smile. "Jasper's got me," he says as he shifts, letting me look between us to see both of Jasper's hands at work.

**Beg**

The sight of it – the knowledge that Jasper's working his magic on Edward, too – is enough to make me shudder. "God please… I can't take it anymore. Please fuck me, Jasper. Edward, let me… can I… oh god, please…"

They chuckle at my babbling, and I hear the tell-tale tearing of a condom wrapper before the cool sheath rolls onto my cock. I hear another, and my gut tightens with anticipation.

_Am I really doing this?_

I have a little trouble even picturing how this will work, exactly, despite having seen – and greatly enjoyed – group porn.

"Relax… we've got you."

**Linger**

Edward kisses me lightly and then sits up, making me whimper when his ass presses against my sheathed cock. With a wicked grin, he rolls his hips, making my eyes roll back into my head.

When I open them again, he's turned halfway around, kissing Jasper deeply. They look so natural, so right, so fucking sexy, that I wonder again how the hell I'm here.

I don't have to wonder long, though, because with a light slap to Edward's ass, Jasper breaks the kiss. His eyes find mine, and when he's satisfied by whatever he sees, he whispers, "Perfect."

**Finally**

Edward moves further up my body, spreading his knees. I feel Jasper's warm hand on the base of my cock before Edward eases himself back, eyes closed and groaning. He doesn't stop until I'm buried inside him, our bodies flush.

My hands slide from his knees up his thighs, coming to rest on his hips as I struggle not to pound into him. I wait, giving him time to adjust, but then I realize that's not what he's waiting for.

Oh, no.

He's waiting for Jasper, whose legs slide beneath mine as the head of his cock presses against my hole.

**Sweat**

The feeling of Jasper fucking me while Edward rides me is incomparable. They take over, both their bodies moving purposefully while I lie there, motionless. Stunned.

Nothing could have prepared me for this.

Heat.

Pressure.

Squeezing.

Dripping.

Clawing.

My mind focuses on the smallest things – Jasper's fingertips wrapping over Edward's shoulder, blunt nails digging in; Edward tightening around me, sending heat pulsing through my groin; Edward's cock bouncing against my abdomen, thudding softly.

Forcing myself from my stupor, I reach out, taking him in hand. I'm rewarded with a low, wordless groan as Edward leans forward, his lips claiming mine.

**Motion**

When he sucks lightly on my tongue, I feel a current ripple through me, jolting me to life. My hips begin rocking, forcing Jasper deeper into me as I force myself into Edward, never breaking our kiss.

I hear panting and grunting with no idea who is making what noise.

And I find I like it.

When hands roam my chest, I can't be sure of whose they are.

And I don't care.

All I know is I want more – and they both give it. Edward moves faster, driving himself onto me harder as Jasper's hips slap loudly against mine.

**Overwhelmed**

I'm in sensation overload. I've never experienced anything like this before – the stretching and squeezing all at once. It isn't long before I'm clenching my stomach, trying desperately to stave off my orgasm.

I can tell it won't be long, though. Even as I try to warn Edward, try to ask Jasper to please stop for a moment, Edward leans down and kisses me fully, his hips rocking at a different angle.

I cry out, my entire body tensing from head-to-toe before I dissolve into shudders. Edward hums against my lips, rolling his hips seductively as he coaxes me through.

**Stare**

I slip out of Edward as he moves to his hands and knees. I try to lift my arms, wanting to help get him there, too, but my whole body feels fluid.

Then he leans down and kisses me hungrily. "You don't mind, do you?"

I start to ask what the hell he's talking about, but when I lift my head slightly, it's to see Jasper's hand between Edward's legs as he guides himself in. "Oh my god," I whisper, shaking my head.

I don't really know if I'm giving permission or saying no until my arms wrap around Edward.

**Haze**

The next few moments are surreal. I hold and kiss Edward, jostled by the movement of Jasper's body as he pounds into him. Sliding my hand down Edward's chest, I wrap my hand around his cock just as he's doing the same. Together, we jack him off, our hands moving in unison as he begins to gasp and moan.

I feel him tensing, feel his cock pulsing in my hand, and I squeeze as I twist near the tip. Jasper thrusts in harder; Edward cries out, his hot release spilling over my chest. He falls forward, bracing himself over me.

**After**

I'm vaguely aware of Jasper's movements, but mostly I marvel at what just happened. Edward's skin is glistening with sweat, making me feel the chill of my own skin. He gives me a breathless half-smile when he sees me watching, and then his eyes close as he whispers, "Holy _fuck_."

Jasper's own cry isn't far behind, and the sudden stillness of the bed seems amplified. After a long, silent pause, Jasper chuckles and falls onto his side, dragging Edward with him.

He slings his arm across Edward's waist and lifts up onto his elbow as both of them watch me.

**Question**

"So…" Jasper says, making us all smile.

I laugh, answering the unspoken question. "Wow… that was…" I shake my head, completely at a loss.

"Fucking awesome," Jasper supplies.

This time, they join me in laughing. "Yeah, it was." My hand moves of its own accord, caressing Jasper's arm before sliding to Edward's chest. "So… umm…"

"What happens now?" Edward asks, his tone making it clear that he's guessing at my meaning.

I nod, and he pushes himself up, leaning across me to kiss me softly. "Well, for starters… we do a little of this… until we feel like doing more."

**Exhaustion**

Edward makes good on his promise, and we spend hours kissing and petting, sucking and fucking, until I think we've tried every combination, every position, every act I've ever imagined – all in one night.

I almost want to cry in relief when Jasper says, "Jesus fuck, I'm spent."

Edward, his voice muffled by his face pressed into his pillow, says, "Thank _god_."

Jasper laughs and smacks Edward's ass hard enough to leave a handprint and make his head pop up. He gives Jasper a sleepy grin, murmuring, "Love you, babe."

"I love you, too." Jasper's answer is sweet – and unexpected.

**Rest**

We don't talk much, but somewhere along the way, I realize that we're not going anywhere. The window is lightening, and I feel myself drifting off. One of them throws a blanket over me, and the last thing I feel are Edward's warm lips pressing against my throat. "You're amazing, Riley," he whispers.

I try to grunt a reply, but I'm not sure what comes out before sleep claims me.

I don't know how many hours pass before I wake, but the glaring light of day meets my bleary eyes.

When I shift, Jasper's gruff voice says softly, "Morning, Riley."

**Change**

"Hey," I answer just as quietly, shifting to my elbows. Edward snores loudly between us, flat on his back with his arm thrown across his eyes.

Jasper glances at him, a fond smile on his face, and then he looks back up at me. "It'll be a couple of hours before he's up. You hungry?"

"Yeah," I answer, surprised by the normalcy of the gesture somehow. Gone is the sultry-nearly-to-the-point-of-bizarre man from the night before, and in his place is… a cool guy.

"Come on." He nods toward the door and stands, my eyes immediately drawn to his bare ass.

**Breakfast**

I sit on a barstool, watching Jasper cook in a pair of pajama pants and a t-shirt. Neither of us has spoken since he asked me how I like my eggs, and I can't decide if I feel awkward or comfortable. I think the paradox comes from the fact that this _should_ feel weird as hell – but it doesn't.

Jasper interrupts my musing when he plates our food and moves it to the bar. "Hot sauce?" he asks as he heads for the refrigerator.

We sort out condiments, and he makes a face when I pour ketchup on my eggs.

**Conversation**

Our talk is light – food, weather, dancing, hobbies – as we finish our breakfast. When Jasper stands to clear away our plates, he pauses by my stool. Leaning down, he kisses me leisurely and murmurs against my lips, "I'm really glad Edward saw you last night, Riley."

He leaves me sitting there in stunned silence and goes to the sink, washing up our plates before I finally find my voice.

He's drying his hands on a towel when I say, "Jasper?"

Glancing at me, he sighs and drops the towel on the counter. "It's that time, huh?"

"What do you mean?"

**Drink**

He glances to the side, and I follow his gaze to the clock on the microwave.

_1:23_

"Well, it's after noon…" With that, he ducks beneath the bar, surfacing with a bottle of whiskey and a couple of glasses. He pours us each a thumb and nods toward the door.

I follow him into a den, where we settled onto a comfortable leather couch. Jasper hands me my glass and stretches his arm out on the back of the couch, facing me.

"The time when we talk about… this. Us."

I raise one eyebrow. "Us?"

Jasper nods, sipping his whiskey.

**Us**

When I don't say anything else, he sighs. "Come on, Riley. You know what I'm talking about. Us. Do we do this often? Can we do this again? All that."

Instead of answering, I take a long pull of my whiskey, my eyes tightening at the burn. He remains silent, too, so I finally take the bait. "Yeah, okay. So I _was_ wondering…"

His smile is almost sad, maybe regretful as he watches me. "I like you, Riley," he says cryptically.

"Okay… so why does that sound like a dismissal?"

"Because it is," he answers, cutting his eyes to me.

**Wind**

"Wow." The word leaves me in a rush as I deflate. I drain the rest of my whiskey, unsure what to do from here. I hadn't even realized until this moment that I wanted to see them again – and now the possibility is gone. "That sucks," I say aloud.

Jasper attempts a smile that falls, his lips twisting into a grimace. "Yeah," he says simply before killing the rest of his drink. He lets his head fall back onto the couch and stares at the ceiling.

"Can I at least fucking know why?" The heat in my voice surprises me.

**Regret**

He sighs and puts his glass on the coffee table, resting his forearms on his knees and clasping his hands. His eyes are trained on them when he speaks again. "It has nothing to do with you," he begins.

I snort. "Right. 'It's not you; it's me.'"

He gives a half-laugh and shakes his head. "I'm serious. It's really not you. We just… fuck, this is usually not a problem."

I feel the hurt setting in when I wonder if maybe this wasn't Edward's perfect revenge after all. My voice is bitter and antagonistic when I say, "I'm so sorry.

**Debate**

He's quiet for a moment, and I can see some sort of argument playing out in his mind. I don't know him well enough to know what it is, but it's not long before he says, "Fuck it," and runs his fingers through his hair. "Just hear me out, okay?"

He takes my complete lack of response for an invitation, and I find myself listening despite the anger searing my chest.

"Edward and I do this a lot. Always guys we don't know – guys who know it's just for one night – and never with the same guy twice," he begins.

**Wait**

I frown at him, and he half-shrugs. "We fucked up with you."

My eyes widen before I explode. "Fuck you."

When I try to stand up, he catches my arm. "Just listen. Please."

I jerk my hand away but find myself standing there, my feet unwilling to carry me away out of sheer morbid curiosity.

Then I realize that I'm hoping – somehow, some way – that there's another explanation for this… that Edward is not the asshole I fear he is.

"Sit down. Please?" It's the pleading tone in Jasper's voice that makes me obey, and I turn to him expectantly.

**Begin**

"Thanks," he whispers, attempting a smile before his brow furrows. "Okay, so…"

His words begin pouring out, and I listen as he starts at the very beginning – meeting Edward, falling in love, realizing a year later that there was someone else he was attracted to, hesitantly bringing it up, only to find out Edward felt the same way.

"It was then that we decided to try it – to be together but share our bed, too." I find myself nodding and stop, annoyed at even that small amount of understanding.

"It was kind of rough at first. We argued sometimes. Just…"

**Flow**

"I guess it was jealousy mostly. If he looked at someone too long or if I moaned too loud, we… worried, you know? But we worked past it. For a long time, we just went with whatever happened. We might see a guy only once – or we might be with him for weeks at a time. But then we met this guy… Peter."

His voice deepens and his lips twist as he tells me about the guy they were with for six months.

"He called Edward at work one day. Told him I wanted to be with _him_, not Edward."

**Lies**

"He made up all kinds of shit. Edward came home just… fucking _raging_. He yelled at me, shit that didn't make sense – saying I'd been with Peter alone, that I'd told Peter I was leaving him. It took me for-fucking-ever to calm him down and even longer to convince him none of it was true."

I frown down at my empty glass, wishing it was filled again so I wouldn't have to feel sorry for the guys who just fucked me and were apparently kicking me out.

"We stopped for a long time after that, but… well, this is us."

**Understanding**

"This is what works for us. It's what we like, what keeps us happy. So after awhile, we were both thinking about it. I wasn't saying shit about it, but Edward brought it up, and… well, then we set up our rules and…" He shrugs as he trails off.

I swallow, pondering all the questions I could ask. The one I do catches him off guard. "What _are_ your rules?"

"Just the two I told you – random guy we meet together and only one time."

I sigh, feeling annoyed that it makes _sense_. "But you broke a rule with me?"

**Admit**

"Yes."

"Why?"

When I catch Jasper's eye, he smiles at me a little sadly. "Because I've never seen Edward so… obsessed. Seriously, he just couldn't stop talking about you. Watching you. He'd told me about you before, and I guess I just couldn't let him miss the chance for some closure."

At his guarded expression, realization sends me reeling. As I think back over the night at the club – and in bed – his gestures take on a different meaning. I can't bring myself to say it aloud, but I also can't help thinking it.

_He's worried Edward might leave _him_._

**Try**

"What Peter did to you guys is terrible." My words are true, if not what I really want to say now. "He was beyond an asshole. You and Edward have something…" I trail off, trying to find words that don't sound trite or ridiculous. I fail. "Hell, you have the coolest relationship I've ever seen. That takes a lot of trust."

Jasper nods as a smile ghosts across his lips.

"Look," I begin, pressing on before I can stop myself. "I'm not him. I got all my asshat bullshit out in high school. I would never do anything like that."

**Honest**

He doesn't respond, though I see him swallow.

"Last night was fucking amazing. Yes, I had a thing for Edward in high school. Yes, that's still there…" I slide closer to him, resting my hand on his thigh. "But I like you, too, Jasper. I'm not some high school boy anymore, and neither is Edward. I want to get to know you – both of you. Can I?"

He hesitates, and I want to punch him for making me put myself out there like this. Something in me _needs_ this, though.

"You already broke one rule with me, right?" I push.

**Balk**

"You know I can't make that decision alone," he finally says.

I nod, disappointed even though it's more than I expected. "That's fair. I wouldn't expect you to." I reach up, tilting his face toward mine. "But just so we're clear… I want you. I want Edward. I want to see you both again."

He cracks a smile, chuckling softly. "You don't give up easily, do you?"

"Nope."

His smile fades as he whispers, "I'll keep that in mind."

We watch each other in silence until I can't take it anymore. "May I?" My whisper is an echo of Edward.

**Permission**

He licks his lips before whispering, "Please."

I smile and lean forward, pressing my lips to his. He moans softly, and then I'm suddenly on my back as Jasper stretches out over me, his body a comfortable weight as we spend who-knows-how-long making out like a couple of teenagers. Our hands roam innocently, caressing arms and sides and hips, but neither of us make a move to take it further.

"Starting without me?" Edward's husky voice makes us both look up, and something flashes across Jasper's face.

He hops off me and crosses the room, wrapping his arms around Edward.

**Distance**

"Afternoon, gorgeous," he murmurs before kissing Edward, who hums and tangles his fingers in Jasper's hair.

The sight of them combined with my arousal from Jasper's teasing makes me groan, and Edward laughs as he breaks away. He pats Jasper's ass and walks over to me, leaning down to kiss me chastely. "Thanks for last night," he says quietly.

I want to scream at him that it's not enough – I want _more_ – but he hasn't been privy to my conversation with Jasper. He's the one with the doubts, the insecurities, and I find that I don't want to hurt him.

**Welcome**

"Any time," I say, and I can feel Jasper's eyes boring into me as Edward and I watch each other.

Edward gives me a small smile that makes it seem like he has something else to say. Instead, he nips my lip and asks if I've eaten already. When I say Jasper made me breakfast, he nods. "Alright… want a shower before we drive you home?"

"Sure," I answer, my words coming a little too quickly, just like they did last night.

"Come on." Edward winks, offering me his hand.

Moments later, we're all three beneath the spray, hands roaming.

**Spent**

We're exhausted and sore, so our teasing leads nowhere, but we have fun despite the lump in my throat. I can't decide if it's anger or hurt or disappointment or some strange amalgamation of all three.

They take care of me again, cleaning me thoroughly while barely letting me return the favor. Edward slips out of the shower first with Jasper following just behind. I stand beneath the showerhead, letting the steaming water wash away shampoo and whatever that god-awful feeling is.

When I shut off the water and step out, they're nowhere to be found. I grab a towel.

**Pensive**

They still haven't returned by the time I'm all dry, so I stall as long as I can before stepping into the bedroom. "Edward? Jasper?" I call.

A muffled voice answers, "In here," just before the closet door opens. They both come out, holding jeans and giving off a furtive vibe I pretend not to notice. Our conversation is light, but I feel the strain beneath the surface as we all get dressed.

Much too soon, we're in Edward's car. Jasper's in the front seat beside him, and I stare out the window, resigning myself to this being the end.

**Farewell**

When we pull up outside my apartment building, they turn to look at each other before looking back at me. Both of them get out of the car when I do, and we stand on the sidewalk staring at each other.

"Well… thanks," I finally manage, feeling awkward and suddenly ready for this just to be over. "It was fun." Even I hardly notice my pause before the final word, but Edward frowns before nodding.

He hugs me tightly, rubbing my back before he kisses my ear. "Thank you," he whispers.

Jasper kisses my lips softly and caresses my cheek.

**Hope**

I turn toward the building as they start to walk away. I hear a nearly-silent exchange between them, but I don't even try to find out what it is. Instead, I push open the glass door and go to step inside.

"Hey, Riley!" Jasper's voice is followed by the pounding of feet on the sidewalk. "Oh, excuse me," he murmurs, and I glance over in confusion to see him squeezing past an older woman as he holds out a card.

When I take it with a frown, he explains, "Our number. Call us sometime?"

He gives me an impish grin.

**Choice**

"What?" I ask stupidly.

"Edward left it up to me," he says huskily, his eyes trailing from my head to my feet and back again. "He was right… there's just something about you, Riley."

My smile starts to spread at the look of desire on his face. Still, I feel some strange sense of responsibility. "You sure about this?"

"Yes," he answers, his voice lower. "Please call us."

We watch each other in silence until Edward appears, slipping his arms around Jasper's waist and resting his head on his shoulder. "Please," he adds.

I grin. "You better believe I will."

**Promise**

"Excellent," Jasper murmurs before stepping closer. He puts his hands on my hips, pulling my body flush with his before kissing me fully.

When we part, Edward's there to give me a soulful kiss of his own. He bites his lip and presses his forehead against mine before turning to kiss Jasper. Something about the gesture just… fits, and I find myself asking, "You guys free for dinner tomorrow night?"

They laugh and exchange a look.

"I think we just might be," Jasper says.

"See you then," Edward adds.

They walk away, leaving me with a smile – and a promise.


	60. Shades of Life

**A/N: **Happy Birthday, _**Ashpags**_! We hope you have a fantastic day.

As ever, we do not own Twilight - it owns us.

**ooOoo**

**Promise**

"Daddy! Daddy-daddy-daddy-daddy! You promised!" Ali whines, pouting as she tugs at my jeans to get my attention.

Straightening up too fast, I bump my head on the car's hood, only barely managing to curtail the, "_Fuck_," that tries to escape. Turning it into a hiss, I wipe my hands on the cloth at my hip and sigh, glancing at my little girl who's now staring up at me in indignation, hands on her hips.

"Daddy, you were about to say a bad word!"

Stifling a chuckle and trying to suppress my smile, I nod. "Yes, I was, pumpkin. I'm sorry."

**Reminder**

Kneeling so that I'm at her eye-level, I grin. "Now, what was it that I promised you, hmm?" I ask, hoping to redirect her attention.

It works, her eyes immediately twinkling as she starts bouncing on the balls of her feet. "You said we were gonna color today and make pictures for Papa's birthday!"

"So I did."

Reaching over, I try to tousle her hair, but she dodges me with a wrinkled nose, squealing, "Ew, Daddy! Gross!"

Laughing, I raise my hands in defeat. "Alright, pumpkin. Why don't you get everything ready while I go and wash up, alright?"

"Yay!"

**Share**

Alice runs back inside. I shake my head at my little firecracker.

_I wonder who she gets that from_, I muse.

Since Jasper and I both donated sperm, we don't know who her biological father is. Bella, our surrogate, is nothing like Alice.

After making sure things are taken care of in the garage, I go clean myself up. When I get into the living room, I find Alice on the floor, surrounded by paints, pencils, a cup of water, and brushes, with newspaper spread out as a work area.

She beams up at me.

"Good job, pumpkin," I praise.

**Team**

Alice sets me to work outlining various images that she then colors in to the best of her abilities – more often than not ending up outside the lines. It doesn't matter. Jasper will love them all the same, because it's Alice who made them. Well, Alice and me, technically.

We've finished a couple already, and as I'm working on a fourth, Alice suddenly says, "When I grow up, I wanna have pretty drawings on me just like yours, Daddy," while she continues coloring.

I blink, looking over at my baby girl, unable to even imagine anything marring her beautiful skin.

**Request**

I know it's hypocritical, considering both Jasper and I have body art all over, so I do my best to swallow past it.

"When you're old enough, we'll see, okay?" I hedge.

She stops, gazing up at me. "Daddy?"

"Yes?"

"Would you make mine? I want something that's you and Papa," she says earnestly.

Something about the look in her eyes and the way she says it touches my heart, and I nod, smiling. The thought that she'd want something permanent to remind her of us warms me. "Sure thing. We can work on it together, okay?"

She beams. "Okay."


	61. Life Imitates Art

**A/N: **Happy Birthday, _**Nanise8135**_! Sorry we're a little late, but we hope you had a fantastic day.

As ever, we do not own Twilight - it owns us.

**ooOoo**

**Setting**

Standing in the doorway, I watch him for a while. His office isn't like most people would imagine. It's light, with large windows and patio doors that open to the gorgeous view outside. He spends much of his time in here, working hard to bring his characters to life, using his surroundings as inspiration.

He always says that the place where he writes is almost like a separate character altogether.

When you read his work, it shows.

Right now, he's focused, scribbling furiously with his fountain pen, my anniversary gift to him. Grumbling, he rakes his fingers through his hair.

**Invitation**

Leaning over his table, he says, "I know you're there, Jasper. Stop lurking and come in already," without looking up. His tone's amused, letting me know he doesn't mind the interruption.

Chuckling, I push off from the doorframe and walk over to him, stopping right behind his chair. Putting my hands on the back of it, I push his seat straight and lean in for a kiss, which he obligingly gives.

"Hey, baby, I didn't want to disturb you. What are you working on?"

He reaches up, running his fingers along the nape of my neck, causing me to hum.

**Break**

"Nothing that can't wait," he murmurs, kissing me again. "They're not cooperating anyway."

"Oh? Anything I can do to help?" I always offer, but he rarely takes me up on it.

He shakes his head, pushing his chair back enough to turn around and pull me onto his lap. Wrapping his arms around me, he smiles. "Nope, I'm good. I have everything I could want right here."

I grin and put my arms around his neck. "Do you now?"

He nods, smiling devilishly. "Mhmm, I do."

He leans in and nips my earlobe, making me moan as I shift closer.

**Help**

"Edward," I groan softly as he continues to lavish attention down my neck.

He hums but doesn't pause.

"Babe, I thought you had a deadline?"

My attempts to stop him are half-hearted, at best, and he knows it. He sits back with a mischievous grin. "I do, but right now I'm thinking I need some more... inspiration, to make the words come to life. Hmm, come to think of it, I'll have to amend my earlier decline of your offer. You _can_ help."

My eyebrows lift in surprise. "I can?"

He nods and palms my cock roughly. "Very much so."

**Inspiration**

Edward leans in, whispering all the things he wants to do to me. Some of it I recognize as parts from his books; others are completely new.

It _all_ turns me on.

It doesn't take Edward long before he has me panting and on the brink, just from his words and teasing strokes over my jean-clad cock alone.

Scrambling off his lap, I pull him up behind me, guiding him to our room so he can put his words into actions. Never do I love his ability to visualize a scene more than when he acts them out with me.


	62. A Perfect Fit

**A/N: **Happy Birthday, _**Sariedee**_! We hope you have a fantastic day.

As ever, we do not own Twilight - it owns us.

**ooOoo**

**sneak**

"Watch it," he hisses, both of us wincing at the too-loud sound of the stair creaking under my weight.

"Sorry," I whisper, taking a deep breath, tightening my hold on his hand as he leads the way up to his room.

He stops at his floor, peering out of the little window into the hallway before opening the door and poking his head around to make sure we're clear. He turns, nodding to me before pulling me along the corridor until we reach his door.

He fumbles with his keys. I lean in to whisper, "Jasper, you sure about this?"

**beam**

His eyes flicker to mine as he opens the door. Nodding, he all but pushes me inside. His dorm is one of the oldest buildings on campus, the architecture such that it's not made for guys like me: 6'7". Standing straight, anyway.

I can't here, though, with the beams jutting out of the ceiling, so I hunch my shoulders as I step to the middle of his room. I've been here once before, but that time a group of us had hung out. This is the first time where it's just us.

Nervous, I rub my palms on my thighs.

**check**

The _click_ of his lock turning makes me jump. I blush when I see his grin.

"Sorry," he murmurs, stepping up to me.

Shaking my head, I try to regulate my breathing. I _like_ Jasper. A lot. It's just that I've never actually _done_ anything with a guy before.

Fantasized about it, yes. Plenty, in fact. But acting on it? Never.

His eyes search mine. "Are _you_ sure about this?" he asks quietly, his palms flat on my chest.

Gulping, I nod. I want to do this. Want to know what it's like to kiss him, to feel him, to-

**new**

Slowly, his left hand travels up until he's cupping my neck, pulling me down. Meeting me in the middle, his lips brush against mine.

Once.

Twice.

I'm shocked at how soft and warm his lips feel. How the slight scratch of his five o'clock shadow makes my lips tingle. When he kisses me for the third time, my brain finally catches up and I respond.

My arms slip around his waist, pulling him closer as I return his kisses. With interest.

I can feel him smile, his right hand moving down to my ass, which he gives a light squeeze.

**welcome**

I moan, resting my forehead against his as I try to remember to breathe. My heart's hammering, and my dick's doing a different kind of dance as I process all these new sensations.

"You alright, Em?" he whispers.

I nod, inhaling his breath as it wafts over my face. The smell of scotch, aftershave, and something altogether Jasper soothes my nerves, though it ignites something deep within me.

Jasper's thumb brushes against my pulse point. I smile, closing my eyes as I kiss him again.

He hums, tilting his head. The silk of his tongue sends shivers down my spine.

**understand**

How long we stand there, locked in this simple embrace as we kiss, I'm not sure. It feels like forever, and mere seconds at once.

Though I thirst for more, the very thought of being with Jasper, having him teach me what we could be... it scares me.

He knows and understands, which is why we were all James Bond about coming to his room, so no one would know.

_Still..._

Jasper pulls away, looking at me with tenderness and heat. "Stay?"

"I want to," I whisper hoarsely.

"I'll take care of you."

We both know what the other means.

**shed**

Jasper takes my hands, guiding me to his bed. Turning me, he slowly works to rid me of my pants. Once they're at my ankles, he urges me to sit on the edge of his bed before lifting my shirt up over my head. My shoes and socks are the next to follow, and then I'm left watching as he sheds his own clothes in short order.

Climbing onto the bed, he pulls me until I'm settled on my side, facing him. He scoots closer, slipping his knee between my legs until every inch possible is touching me.

He smiles.

**secure**

Cupping my cheek, he kisses me briefly, whispering against my lips, "I've got you, Emmett McCarty. You're safe with me."

I nod, unable to help the wavering breath that escapes me as I try to process the heat coming from him. My skin's almost singing with it.

Jasper leans in, nuzzling my neck as he murmurs sweet nothings in my ear, telling me everything he'd like to do with me - w_ith_, not to – ranging from the sexual to the casual, assuring me we'll take this slow.

It takes me a while, but finally, I relax and let him in.

**wish**

At last, he pulls back and watches me with a knowing smile.

"What?" I ask, tilting my chin down so I can see him better.

He runs his fingers through my curly hair. "I know what I want to do first."

My stomach clenches – either with nerves or anticipation – and my breathing speeds, becoming shallow. "What?" I manage again.

Jasper's smile softens before he kisses me – deeply, hungrily, thoroughly. When we part, he murmurs, "Pizza," and places a gentle kiss on my lips, "and a movie?"

I laugh in disbelief. "Really?"

"Mhmm," he breathes, his nose trailing long my jaw.

**truth**

"You sure about that?" I ask huskily, shifting my hips so that we can each feel how hard and wanting the other is.

Jasper's sharp intake of breath is followed by his eyes drifting closed, but when he opens them again, he looks at me earnestly. "Yes. I'm not gonna lie, Em… there are about a million things I want to do right now… but mostly I just want this to be… to be something you're comfortable with. I like you. A lot."

"I like you, too," I whisper, my smile spreading automatically. Our lips meet again, our breath mingling.

**compromise**

This time I'm the one to break our kiss. Jasper's eyes flicker between mine as if trying to determine what I'm thinking.

I smile and brush the back of my fingers along his cheek. "Pizza sounds perfect," I say quietly.

He returns my smile and nods, but when he starts to roll away, I catch him, squeezing his leg between mine. He looks at me curiously.

"I choose the next first?" I don't intend it to be a question, but it definitely comes out as one.

Jasper's eyes widen. "What'd you have in mind?"

"I'll show you after the movie."

**promise**

Jasper chuckles lowly and then teases me, rolling his hips against mine until I nearly whimper.

I don't, though – of course not.

And he doesn't smile again and lean forward to whisper, "I want to make you feel good in whatever way you want me to."

And I definitely don't swallow hard and squeak.

Not a chance.

He laughs and kisses me gently. "You're sure you're okay with this?"

I take a minute to think – really think – and realize that, for the first time in a long time, I feel _right_.

"Yeah," I murmur. "I am."

His smile is perfect.


	63. Forging a Path

**A/N: **Happy Birthday,_** Kikibowns**_! We hope you're having a wonderful day.

As ever, we do not own Twilight - it owns us.

**ooOoo**

"So what are you going to do?" I murmur softly into his hair, my arms tightening around him.

He shrugs, not saying a word.

I sigh, rubbing my thumb soothingly over his upper arm. Staring at the ceiling, I try to imagine my life without Edward in it. I can't.

I just... can't.

Still, it has to be his decision.

"Ba-" I clear my throat, frowning as I try again. "Edward, I can't tell you what to do."

My voice is so quiet, I wonder if he hears, especially when he doesn't respond beyond burrowing his face into my chest.

**ooOoo**

We lie like that for hours, just holding each other. The longer he goes without speaking, the more worried I become. Scared that he's made his choice and can't bring himself to tell me he's going to do as his father wants.

I swallow hard as I remember his parents' ultimatum after a so-called friend outed him in retaliation.

"_Jazz, Dad gave me a choice. I either give you up, and he'll pay for college, or... Or he'll disown me and kick me out."_

A quiet sniffling alerts me to his distress. It's the first sound he's made in hours.

**ooOoo**

"Edward?" I whisper.

He shakes his head, angrily wiping his tears away as he sits up and turns his face away from me. Frustrated, he tugs at his hair, grumbling, "It isn't even... How am I supposed to choose, Jasper?"

He turns to me. The pain in his eyes is too much – it cuts to the heart of me. Before I can stop myself, I shift, straddling his thighs and cupping his face. For several seconds, we simply stare, and then I brush my lips over his and sigh.

"I don't _care_ about the money, Jazz. I don't. But how..?"

**ooOoo**

"They're my _parents_!" he rages suddenly. "They're supposed to _love_ me, no matter what. Isn't that the bullshit they've always told us?"

He's fisting the covers, his breathing harsh and uneven, and he just looks so _hurt_. Gathering him up in my arms, I gently sway back and forth, making shushing noises.

"I don't know, sweetheart."

And I don't. I've been emancipated for a couple of years now, due to physical abuse. I don't have the same experiences he does.

I do know one thing, though. I love him with all my heart, and I need to tell him so.

**ooOoo**

"I love you, too, Jasper," he mumbles, his hands clenching my shirt. "I don't know what I'd do without you. How is this supposed to be a fair choice? You, or them? I can't do it, Jasper, I can't."

My heart aches, sure he's going to stay with his family. Like he said, they _are_ his parents.

Before I can stop myself, I ask, "What do you want, baby?"

I close my eyes, afraid of his answer.

His lips brush my neck. He huffs. "What I _want_ is to be with you. To love you. To have a family someday."

**ooOoo**

My heart stutters for entirely different reasons as I listen. I want those things, too. With him. Pulling back slightly, I look at him. His eyes are wide, honest, open, and pleading.

Cupping his cheek, I smile. "I want that, too, Edward. I love you, and I'd be lost without you, too," I admit.

He gives a half-smile at that. "I guess that means I've made my choice, huh?" he says quietly.

Kissing him lightly, I murmur against his lips, "I don't know where we go from here, sweetheart. We'll cut our own path, though. Together. Okay?"

"Okay." He nods.

**ooOoo**

Settling back on the bed, I pull him in my arms. We're both calmer, and I can hear some measure of peace in his voice as we talk about what to do next.

We decide that he'll move in with me – he's practically always here, anyway. Tomorrow, while his parents are working, we'll get his things.

He's already working part-time this summer at the same store where I work full-time. I'm sure our boss will give him more hours, though. She's cool like that, especially if we explain. Edward's hesitant, but agrees after I point out her brother's gay, too.

**ooOoo**

We talk well into the night. It's the most we've talked about the future, and we discuss all plans big and small in hushed tones. The more we work things out, the more we both relax.

By the time Edward falls asleep – both of us still dressed and on top of the covers – I'm smiling and hopeful. Today's been one of the hardest in my life – well, discounting living at home.

I _know_ it's been hard on Edward. Tomorrow, though, and every day after...

"Wherever the road leads, I'll follow you," is the last thing I whisper before falling asleep.


	64. Reenactment

**A/N: **Happy Birthday,_** TheDoctor**_! We hope you had a wonderful day, and that you'll enjoy this belated present.

As ever, we do not own Twilight - it owns us.

**ooOoo**

**Crickets**

Lying flat on my back in the cool grass, I stare at the worn canvas of my tent and listen to the song of the crickets in the field. A knot of nervous anticipation twists in my gut, and I let out a long _whoosh_ of air, wondering what tomorrow will bring.

I know my rifle is clean and ready, propped against my boots, but I mentally go through my list again, making sure I'm as prepared as possible.

I try to stay still so I won't disturb the soldier sharing my tent, and I jump when he suddenly speaks.

**Nerves**

"You awake?" His whisper sounds like a shotgun blast on my frayed nerves.

"Yeah," I manage, swallowing hard.

Jasper shifts, tucking both his hands behind his head. "What do you think it's going to be like?"

"I don't know," I say honestly. The long pause, filled only by a gust of wind and the relentless chirruping of the crickets, is broken when I admit, "It's my first time."

"Mine, too," he answers.

He's quiet for so long that I think he's fallen asleep, but then he says, "I hope I don't die."

Fear dries my mouth. "Me, too," I whisper.

**Heavy**

The air in the tent is stifling, and I long to feel the breeze that rustles the thin canvas. I can't just jump up and bust out of the tent like a madman, though, so I close my eyes and focus so closely on my breathing that I nearly miss what Jasper says next.

"What made you decide to do this?"

His question catches me off guard, and I blink. "Oh, ahh… well, I sort of had to, I guess. I couldn't let my cousin go alone."

"Where's he?"

"The river. We got split up right after we got here."

**Share**

"What about you?" I ask curiously.

"I don't know, really. I just always felt…" He sighs, a frustrated sound. "Curious, I guess. I always wondered what it would be like, you know?"

"Yeah, I guess." I barely keep the disbelief from my voice, but he gives a low chuckle anyway.

An uneasy silence descends, broken from time to time by questions and short answers. We seem suspended between wanting to talk and not wanting to disturb the hush of the night.

By the time we drift off, I'm more relaxed and strangely feel like I've known Jasper all my life.

**Wake**

The bugle calls jolts me from a surprisingly deep sleep, leaving me sitting upright and dizzy. By the time I get my bearings, Jasper's wide awake and smiling beside me.

"Ready for this?" he asks. I groan, and he laughs, patting me on the shoulder. "Don't worry, man. Just stay close. We'll be fine."

Shaking my head in amusement, I say thickly, "Time's it?"

"Time to get out of bed before those damn Yankees show up." He grins broadly and ducks out of the tent.

_Maybe this reenactment stuff isn't so bad after all_.

Chuckling, I go to follow him.


	65. New Beginnings

**A/N: **Happy Birthday,_** Badjujube**_! We hope you have a fantastic day.

As ever, we do not own Twilight - it owns us.

**ooOoo**

"What are you thinking about?" I murmur as I wrap my arms around him from behind.

As is always the case when we're together, my heart trips when skin meets skin. Jasper leans into me with a sigh.

"Nothing, really. Everything. I-" He shrugs.

Frowning, I rest my chin on his shoulder, kissing his neck lightly. "What, babe?"

He's been pensive for days now. Longer, if I'm completely honest with myself. It has me worried.

He shakes his head. "Nothing. It's just... it feels different, doesn't it? Or rather... it should, and it does, kind of, and yet..."

I nod.

**ooOoo**

Tightening my arms around him, I whisper, "I know."

With DADT finally repealed, we no longer have to hide who we are to each other – in theory, anyway. Jasper's served for years under its rule, however, and things haven't been easy for either of us because of it – and old habits die hard.

Old fears do, too. More so, in many ways.

The day DADT was officially shelved, we celebrated by staying in bed most of the day, though that is never unusual for us the first few days of leave.

Today, however, is his last day before going back.

**ooOoo**

He turns in my arms, wrapping his own around my shoulders as he kisses me softly. "I love you," he whispers against my lips.

I smile, brushing his cheek with a finger. "Love you, too. Always."

Jasper pulls me closer, and I let him seek the comfort he obviously needs. Now that the service no longer requires his silence, he's left facing coming out to the world, and it's tough for him – all the more because he knows that I'll wait for him to be ready before I'll do the same.

Patting his back, I murmur, "Let's get dressed, baby."

**ooOoo**

He's quiet over breakfast, obviously thinking hard, trying to come to some sort of decision. He looks up as I start to clear the table. Grabbing my hand, he tries to smile. "Edward, I... Come with me?"

Pausing, I run my fingers through his hair, trying to gauge his mood. "Of course. When?"

He takes a deep breath. "Today," he says, quietly but with conviction.

I nod.

An hour later sees us standing in front of his parents' house. Jasper's trembling slightly as we wait for the door to open. Placing my hand on his back, I rub it lightly.

**ooOoo**

His mother welcomes us with surprise, telling us to go to the sunroom, where his dad is already having coffee. They both know me as Jasper's best friend and roommate.

As his mother joins us and pours coffee, Jasper shoots me a nervous glance.

_You don't have to, Jasper, but I'm here for you if you do._

I wish I could tell him, but he knows. His small smile tells me so.

Jasper shifts closer to me, takes a deep breath, and looks right at his father. "Mom, Dad, I have something I need to share with you. I'm gay."

**ooOoo**

The silence seems to stretch on forever as they process this information. Neither of them appears angry or upset, but it's difficult to tell.

Jasper curls in on himself a little more with each passing second, as if their unspoken words condemn him. Instinctively, I reach for him, and it's my taking his hand in mine that spurs any response at all.

Both his parents start at the same time, blushing. "Oh! I-" "Jasper, honey..."

Jasper and I look at each other in confusion before turning to his parents.

His mom clears her throat, sharing a glance with his father.

**ooOoo**

We listen in stunned silence as they explain they've always known, but never said anything to honor Jasper's obvious wishes.

His father clasps his hands in front of him as he leans forward, his gaze intent on his son. "Jasper, ever since you were a little boy, all you ever wanted to do was to follow in my footsteps – in your granddaddy's footsteps – and serve our country. I know what it's like out there, son. I couldn't risk you never getting the chance to follow your dream, so..."

"So you never asked, so he wouldn't have to tell," I whisper.

**ooOoo**

We spend the next several hours talking. For the first time ever, Jasper and I are free to be ourselves in their presence, though we both need to adjust. It's thrilling to be able to sit as close as we like, to touch when we want to, without having to worry.

Still, it's difficult to let go of those ingrained habits and reactions. By the time we leave for home, though, both Jasper and I are feeling better and freer than ever. The hugs we both receive from his parents fortify us. Their assurances of love and support strengthen us.

**ooOoo**

Jasper's quiet all the way home, staring at me as I drive, a soft smile playing on his lips. When I pull up to our house, he unbuckles even as he reaches for me. Before I can do much more than turn off the car and undo my own seatbelt, he's crushing me to him, claiming my lips in a fierce kiss.

My fingers desperately try to find purchase in his hair, but it's too short. Not for the first time, I bemoan the loss of his curls. Still, I make do as I return the kiss with equal fervor.

**ooOoo**

Finally, he pulls away with a breathy laugh, his eyes as bright as his smile as he looks at me. "I can't believe... I did it. I actually did it. I never..."

He shakes his head in awe. Cupping his cheek, I caress it lightly with my thumb. I kiss him chastely and smile. "I'm so proud of you, baby."

His smile widens. Something flickers in his eyes as he takes both my hands in his. I tilt my head questioningly.

Lifting my hands, he presses his lips to each in turn before taking a deep breath. "Marry me, Edward?"

**ooOoo**

My mouth pops open in shock. Marriage wasn't something we'd ever talked about. Not because I was against it, but we both knew it wouldn't happen until things changed legally. Now they have.

He asks again, his voice trembling this time.

Swallowing past the lump in my throat, I nod, forcing my vocal chords to press out a hoarse, "Yes."

Jasper laughs shakily as he hugs me tight, murmuring, "I love you," over and over again.

I echo him, my heart full to bursting.

After a few minutes, we head inside, eager to get closer, even more eager to celebrate.

**ooOoo**

"I can't wait to tell my parents," I whisper into his neck after we've shed our clothes and gone to bed.

I know my coming out won't come as a shock to them. In fact, I'm sure they already know, much like Jasper's parents did.

Jasper chuckles, then sighs, running his fingers through my hair and down my back. "I wish I could be there with you when you tell them, babe. I'm sorry."

Shaking my head at him, I place his hand over my heart. "It's okay. You're always with me. Though Mom might want a word with you."

**ooOoo**

His eyes widen, and he sputters, "You don't think she-"

I laugh. "Sweetheart, you _know_ she'll want to help plan everything. I'm really not worried about their reaction. You shouldn't be, either. Or have you forgotten Uncle Garrett and Aunt Mike?"

He narrows his eyes, but is unable to hide his grin. "Yeah, I remember. Still. You're their son. It's different."

"They'll be fine," I assure him. Grinning, I add, "At least we won't have to worry about them trying to set us up with anyone anymore."

"Oh God," he laughs. "Thank fuck for that. You're _mine_."

"I am. Always."

**ooOoo**

Jasper grins mischievously as he rolls us over and presses me into the mattress. "Mine," he murmurs between kisses that cover my face, my neck, my chest.

"Always," I moan, arching into him as he claims me in a hundred different ways.

We spend hours reaffirming our love, our bond. I relish it and memorize each detail, storing it away for when we're apart.

After we're both spent and we're basking in post-coital bliss, we talk quietly of our future. Eventually, I fall asleep in his arms, with whispered promises and dreams of what's to come chasing around my head.


	66. Home, Sweet Home

**A/N: **Happy Birthday,_**Michellephants**_! We hope you had a fantastic day.

As ever, we do not own Twilight - it owns us.

**ooOoo**

"Hmrph..."

Blinking blearily against the invasive sunlight sneaking between the curtains, I reach next to me. Finding only an empty space instead of Bella, I frown and groan.

_Too early..._

Glancing at the clock, I'm shocked to find it's almost noon.

_Still too early._

I got home around 1:00 AM after two weeks away on assignment, after all, with barely any sleep during that time. All I really want to do right now is sleep with Bella in my arms. The rest can wait, as far as I'm concerned.

The world can wait.

Lifting my head, I search for her.

**ooOoo**

It takes me a much longer than it should for the sounds to filter through my sleep-addled brain, but when they do, I grin.

_Kitchen. Should've known._

I stretch my body slowly, taking several deep breaths before I even attempt to get out of bed. When I do, I go through my morning rituals and then pull on a shirt and boxers. With a sigh, I pad quietly out of our room to look for Bella.

Sure enough, she's in the kitchen, preparing an elaborate breakfast as usual upon my return home. Leaning against the doorframe, I watch and smile.

**ooOoo**

Bella's humming, shimmying along to music only she can hear as she cuts up several oranges and starts to make juice. I wince at the sudden noise of the juicer.

A quick glance tells me she's already finished with everything else, except for the bacon and eggs that are still frying in the pan. The table is already set with pancakes, syrup, toast, muffins, fruit – too much food for any one person, but so typically Bella.

Quietly, I sneak up behind her and wind my arms around her waist even as I kiss her neck. "You spoil me," I murmur.

**ooOoo**

Bella lets out a squeak of surprise before dissolving into giggles. Twisting around slightly, she pauses her juice-making efforts and kisses me lightly on the lips. "Good morning, sleepyhead. And I don't spoil you. I'm merely making sure you have a reason to come home to me."

I snort and squeeze her tightly to me as I grumble, "You're all the reason I'll ever need, baby. Haven't you figured out by now that I love you?"

She beams. "I love you, too. That's why I'm doing all of this."

"Silly woman," I tease, kissing her again.

She nudges me playfully.

**ooOoo**

Letting her go reluctantly, I tend to the bacon and eggs, ignoring her protests as I plate them up. She finishes making orange juice with a huff, though the smile playing on her lips tells me she's not really mad.

Pouring us both a cup of coffee, I add milk and sugar to hers just the way she likes it before sitting down. Bella joins me with two tall glasses of juice in hand. Taking both from her, I pull her in for a kiss, murmuring, "Thanks, sweetheart."

"You're welcome."

We sit, eating and talking quietly about everything I missed.

**ooOoo**

It feels good to reconnect again. To do the everyday things that most people take for granted. As we put away the leftover food and do the dishes, I realize once again just how lucky I am to even have all of this.

I know not many in my profession have someone waiting at home, like I have Bella. Even fewer have someone that sticks around for the long run.

Drying my hands carefully, I turn and pull her to stand between my legs. Kissing her gently, I smile. "You're amazing, you know that?"

She grins. "So I've been told."

**ooOoo**

I chuckle, tightening my arms around her. "Thank you."

She frowns in confusion and says softly, "For what, Edward?"

I shrug. "For being you. Loving me. Staying by my side, even with everything I do."

Cupping my cheek, she searches my eyes briefly, then smiles. "For better or worse, 'til death do us part, remember?"

I nod, swallowing hard as I push away the very real possibility of the latter coming true sooner rather than later, given my job.

She brushes my cheek, murmuring, "And maybe not even then. You're stuck with me, Cullen."

"Wouldn't want it any other way."


	67. Prince Charming

**A/N: **Happy belated Birthday, _**ninapolitan**_! We hope you had a wonderful day.

As ever, we do not own Twilight - it owns us.

**ooOoo**

**Date**

Tanya tugs at my sleeve, pleading, "Daddy, hurry! They'll start without us."

Barely managing not to roll my eyes at her impatience, I pat her shoulder. "Sweetheart, there's plenty of time. The previews haven't even started yet, I promise."

The girl behind the counter hands me the popcorn and soda, smiling flirtatiously as she wishes us a good time. The smile I give in turn is polite, nothing more. Tanya, however, narrows her eyes a little and states in no uncertain terms that _she_ is my "date."

Part of me wants to laugh at my little girl's staking her claim.

**Entrance**

When we step into the theater, the lights are just lowering.

"We're gonna miss it!" Tanya whisper-shrieks.

"Tanya," I say firmly, "Look – they're still showing commercials. It's fine."

I hear a low chuckle and follow it to its source, right in the middle of the theater. My eyes widen at the sight of messy hair that seems to be auburn despite the blues and greens from the screen. What really catches my attention, though, is his warm smile.

And _gorgeous_ face.

"Dad-dy, come _on_!" She grabs my sleeve, leading me to the row behind him, two seats to the right.

**Chatter**

The previews for other movies are completely ignored by Tanya – and the little girl sitting in front of her. Both of them start to chatter about _Sleeping Beauty_, their excited voices almost enough to drown out the noises from the screen. Almost.

Glancing at the man in the other row, I find him smiling indulgently at the little girl, occasionally chipping in when she asks a question. I'm not even sure what he says, though, too enthralled by how he looks and sounds.

He chuckles again, turning to me with a grin. "Can't miss with a Princess movie."

I nod.

**Movie**

The girls grow quiet as they settle into the movie. I'm only half-listening to it – most of my attention is on the man in front of me, and I silently thank Tanya for choosing these seats. He's beautiful, even in profile, and my thoughts circle in strange places, some of them dark.

Coming out to Esme, Tanya's mother.

Being so incredibly lost after our divorce.

Feeling nervous anticipation on my first date with a man.

Knowing with absolute certainty that my first kiss with a man was everything a kiss was supposed to be – and everything I'd never known before.

**Startle**

"Is she gonna be okay, Daddy?" Tanya says quietly, causing me to almost jump out of my seat.

I blink. "Who, Beauty?"

She rolls her eyes at me, and I catch a quiet chuckle from the guy in front as she says, "No, Daddy, her name's _Aurora_."

Swallowing back amusement and mortification alike, I decide to tease her, hoping to cover up my faux pas. "You should know she'll be fine, you've seen the movie often enough."

Chancing a glance at Gorgeous Guy, I blush when I catch him grinning at me. He winks.

_Thank _God_ it's dark in here..._

**Prince**

I try to keep my thoughts from roaming as we watch the rest of the movie. When Prince Charming leans down to kiss Aurora, Tanya squeezes my hand. "You need a Prince Charming, Daddy."

Her whisper is a touch too loud, but when my heart leaps into my throat, it's not from embarrassment – it's pride and even a little bit of longing.

"Thanks, baby," I whisper gruffly. "Now watch the movie."

She giggles at the silly face I make, and the moment passes.

I can't help but wonder what _he_ thinks, though – dare I hope that he might be interested?

**Break**

Almost as soon as the credits begin to roll, Tanya squirms in her seat and turns to me with a frown. "Daddy..." she whisper-whines, giving me the look that tells me she needs to go to the bathroom but is too embarrassed to say so.

"C'mon," I say, taking her hand as I stand up.

We walk to the restrooms, Gorgeous Guy and the little girl trailing behind us. I try not to listen in as she regales him with details from the movie.

Both girls dart into the restrooms, leaving us guys standing outside, looking awkward.

"So," he says.

**Overhear**

I expect something like – a comment about the weather or the girls – so I literally blink in shock when he says, "I couldn't help but overhear – are you gay?"

The hopeful note I hear in his voice brings a smile to my lips. I don't hesitate before telling him I am.

"Please tell me if I'm overstepping, but did you adopt or..?"

I shake my head, my smile fading slightly. "Her mother and I divorced when she was a baby. Not long after I came out."

"Oh."

That single syllable hangs heavily in the air before I catch his eye.

**Ask**

His eyes search mine, a faint blush creeping up his cheeks as he bites his lip.

Rubbing the back of my neck, I clear my throat when he doesn't say anything else.

_Great_.

Puffing out my cheeks, I ask, "So, is that your little girl?"

"Oh!" His eyes widen as he shakes his head. "No. No, that's Bella, my niece."

"Ah."

More awkward silence, which is filled suddenly by two giggling girls. I barely catch Tanya's "Shh!" as they open the door. Both girls look between us expectantly and then frown.

Gorgeous Guy shakes his head again, rolling his eyes.

**Ice cream**

Bella skips to him and slips her hand into his, tugging until he leans down. She cups her hand around his ear and whispers. Whatever she says makes him peer up at me.

_Adorable_.

"You sure?" he asks her softly.

She nods, beaming.

Straightening up, he smiles. "We always go out for ice cream after a movie – standard date and all. Would you two like to join us?"

Tanya nods vigorously before I can even ask her.

"Sure, that sounds great… I'm Carlisle, by the way."

His cheeks flame. "Oh god, I'm sorry." The girls erupt in giggles. "I'm Edward."

**Treat**

We shake hands, holding on just a little longer than etiquette allows. When we let go, I immediately feel a sense of loss. Putting a hand on Tanya's shoulder, I muster a smile as I tell Edward to lead the way.

We fall into step easily, the girls skipping a few paces ahead of us, giggling and talking as they go, while Edward and I alternate between smiling indulgently at them and casting curious glances at each other.

Reaching the ice cream parlor, we order, but before I can pull out my wallet, Edward stops me and says, "My treat."

**Observe**

Tanya and Bella have become fast friends in the way only seven-year-old little girls can. They dig into their sundaes, which are more marshmallows and sprinkles than ice cream.

I take a bite of my peanut butter ice cream and lick the spoon, my eyes lingering on Edward, who pretends not to notice he has whipped cream on his nose to entertain the girls. It takes Bella four tries before she manages to wipe it off, though all she does is smear it more.

When Edward takes his own napkin and cleans the rest away, his green eyes meet mine.

**Chill**

I don't know whether it's something in his eyes, or the too big bite of ice cream I took, but a shiver runs down my spine all the same. The corner of Edward's lips curls up before he lets Bella distract him again as she asks, "Uncle Edward, can Tanya and I go play?"

He tilts his head, glancing at me as he says, "Sure, if Carlisle says it's okay?"

I nod, and both girls squeal. Tanya flings her arms around my neck. I barely manage to hug her back before she's off and running to catch up to Bella.

**Talk**

We both watch through the plate glass window until they're settled on the swings. The silence stretches just a little too long before I say, "So, you said Bella's your niece…"

He nods and swallows, wiping his mouth. "Yeah, my brother Emmett's kid. About once a month, we go out on a date."

I smile and start to tell him about my dates with Tanya, but he stops me in my tracks when he gives a rueful smile and mutters, "Only date I've had in a long time." He takes another bite of ice cream, and I do the same.

**Chance**

Silence reigns for the next minute or so as I try to muster up the courage to do what I really want to do: ask Edward for a date of my own. That sort of thing's never come easily to me, but something about him – about the way he interacts with both girls, the way he looks – makes it so I simply _have_ to get to know him better.

Taking a sip of water, I clear my throat. "So, Edward... I-I was wondering if maybe you'd... like to go out with me?"

He stares. My heart's beating in my throat.

**Accept**

As he sits there, I realize my potentially crucial mistake – he asked if _I_ was gay. He never said he was.

_Shit._

Before I can apologize, he smiles warmly. "Yeah, that sounds great."

I smile in return and then I'm babbling, "I was thinking we could go to dinner and then maybe a movie without fairies and dancing animals? Or if you want, we could go to a club or-"

I cut off abruptly as he laughs and covers my hand with his. "You're adorable, Carlisle. And any of those sound good." Tilting his head, he grins wickedly. "Or all."

**Linger**

For a moment, I'm lost in his eyes and the feel of his hand on mine. When his bottom lip disappears between his teeth, I can feel my blush bloom on my cheeks. I duck my chin a little, attempting to hide it.

His quiet chuckle and squeeze of my hand tells me I failed, but I can't honestly find it in me to really care too much about that. It's been too long since I've been comfortable with another guy. Too long since feeling okay about showing any sort of affection to another while Tanya's around.

_Oh shit, Tanya__!_

**Giggle**

My eyes fly to the window – where I find both girls, pressed against the glass and giggling. When they see me looking, Tanya squeals and says something to Bella before they both dart toward the swings.

Edward and I laugh, and I squeeze his hand before letting go. We watch each other in silence for a moment before he says, "I'm sorry. I didn't mean to make you uncomfortable or anything…"

"No," I answer honestly, "I'm fine. This feels… good, actually."

He smiles broadly. "It does. So... tell me, would it be too forward to kiss you before the date?"

**Surprise**

I blink in surprise, mouth opening and closing several times before I manage a stuttered, "I-I... umm..."

The very thought of feeling his lips against mine, of tasting him, has me shivering in anticipation even as my brain tries to come up with reasons why it might be a bad idea.

Edward ducks his chin briefly, glancing up at me through his lashes as he whispers, "I've been wanting to since the moment you walked into that theater earlier."

His admission stuns me out of my stupor, though I've yet to find my voice again. I nod, instead.

He smiles.

**Kiss**

He slides his chair around the table toward me, our eyes locked the entire time. I turn to face him, and he slips his knee between mine as he leans forward.

I watch Edward's green eyes drift shut just before I close mine. His hand cups my cheek, bringing warmth that spreads to my lips when he kisses me softly.

I can't help sighing softly and leaning forward, parting my lips slightly. When our tongues meet, his fingers slip into my hair. The sweetness of strawberry ice cream mixes with his own taste, and I don't ever want to stop.

**Interruption**

A shriek has us both jumping apart and blushing fiercely as we turn to its source: Bella and Tanya, wearing huge grins. As soon as they see us looking at them, they run up, immediately babbling when they reach us.

Edward and I exchange an amused grin as we listen to the girls go on and on about us. You'd think from hearing them talk that they had all of this schemed out for weeks between them, instead of only having met today.

Tanya climbs in my lap and says, "See, Daddy, I told you you needed a Prince Charming."

**Date**

Edward stands, taking Bella's hand. "I guess we better get going… we don't want to interrupt the rest of your date."

I can tell from the pink flush on his cheeks that he's embarrassed by what Tanya said – it's endearing.

"And we don't want to interrupt yours," I say, but I can't seem to make myself turn away.

"Oh!" Edward says with a laugh. He reaches into his pocket and pulls out his smart phone. "Can I get your number?"

Tanya practically bounces on my knee as I give it to him. I put her on the ground and stand.

**Plan**

With a sigh, I reluctantly hold my hand out to say goodbye. Edward smiles, though I can see in his eyes a similar sentiment to mine. Instead of taking my hand, he pulls me in for a hug, kissing my neck before whispering, "I'm really glad to have met you, Carlisle. I'll call tonight so we can plan our date. Around eight okay?"

I hum in agreement, hugging him back. When we pull apart, it is to see the girls hugging and whispering to each other. I chuckle.

"Looks like we'll need to set up play dates for them, too."

**Home**

We part ways outside the shop, and I glance back over my shoulder to see Edward doing the same. He waves just before turning the corner.

I sigh, and Tanya swings our hands between us. "What's the matter, Daddy?"

"Nothing, sweetheart," I answer honestly.

"Can I tell you a secret?"

"Of course."

I automatically kneel down, and she leans in to whisper in my ear, "Mr. Edward likes you."

Laughing, I hug her tightly. "I think I like him, too."

"I'm glad, Daddy," she says simply.

When I stand, she takes my hand again, chattering away as we walk home.


	68. Quiet Support

**A/N:** We still owed one last drabble arc for **FGB Eclipse**. _**Silvertwi**_ bought one to dedicate to the lovely _**BMango, **_as a thank you and to put a smile on her lips. Long overdue, we hope this does the trick.

Thank you again to everyone who made that **FGB** such a success. We're still chipping away at both **AXO** and the one-shot-gone-multi-chapter.

**ooOoo**

Sighing, I stare at him, all curled up next to his laptop, fast asleep.

_Edward, you goofball. One of these days you're going to knock that thing off the bed. Would serve you right for trying to pull so many all-nighters studying. _

Quietly as I can, I lie down beside him. I know he's exhausted, so I try not to wake him even though I can't resist touching him. There's a slight breeze coming through the open window, but it's my fingers trailing along his side that make him shiver.

He stirs, blearily looking up at me. "Hey," he croaks.

**ooOOoo**

I smile and lean in to gently kiss his lips. "'Mornin'."

Carefully brushing my thumb over the bags under his eyes, I resist the urge to argue with him about the hours he's been keeping. I know _why_ he's doing it – it'd only lead to another fight, and that's stress we can do without.

Especially Edward, who's struggling to keep his grades to the level his father expects in order to get through college.

So instead, I simply kiss him again and ask, "Can I help?"

Edward groans, curling closer to me as I run my fingers through his hair.

**ooOOoo**

With a heavy sigh, he looks up at me through his lashes. "Maybe? I'm stuck."

Settling myself more comfortably on the bed, I pull him so that his head's lying in my lap. Threading my fingers through his hair, I ask, "Okay. Tell me what you've got so far."

We talk for what feels like hours as he tells me about the story he's writing for class. He's got most of the details figured out, but explains something isn't right – he just can't put his finger on it. We bounce ideas back and forth for a while until he suddenly exclaims, "Oh!"

**ooOOoo**

I grin at the sign that something's clicked for him.

Edward, tired as he is, seems to regain some of his energy as he starts talking rapid-fire, connecting dots that previously eluded him. Where before I could see exhaustion and near-desperation in his eyes, as the paper's due tomorrow, now they're bright and happy.

"Thanks, Jazzy," he murmurs, smiling.

I chuckle. "You're welcome, sweetheart. Any time."

He sighs, closing his eyes. "Don't know what I'd do without you," he whispers.

Grinning, I tease, "You'd be lost, drowning yourself in work and coffee, and you'd never see the light of day."

**ooOOoo**

He laughs. "Probably," he admits as he shifts to his hands and knees to kiss me.

Minutes pass with languid kisses and fingers tangled in hair before his stomach rumbles, ruining the moment. Chuckling, I smack his ass lightly to get him to move. "C'mon, I'll make breakfast, ply you with coffee, and then you can get back to your paper."

He hums with a smile. "I knew there was a reason I loved you."

"Oh, I see how it is," I mock-grouse.

Brushing his lips to mine, he murmurs placatingly, "Not the only reason."

"Good. I love you, too."


	69. A Cullen Thanksgiving Tradition

**A/N:** This was our entry for the Twilight No Stress Love Fest; Holiday Edition. We hope you'll enjoy reading this as much as we did writing it.

**ooOoo**

**Dinner**

"Carlisle, would you grab the pumpkin and pecan pies? Bella, sweetheart, if you'd take the milk and sugar. Edward, dear..."

Everyone pitches in as always. Emmett, Rose, and Jasper take out the dirty dishes and leftover food, while I orchestrate the others to take care of dessert. Before too long, we're all seated around the beautifully decorated table – courtesy of Alice, Rose, and myself – coffee poured and pies sliced and handed out.

Glancing around at my family, I smile, nodding. Carlisle takes my hand in his before starting our long-standing family tradition of going around the table to give thanks.

**Carlisle**

Clearing my throat lightly, I wait until the conversations die down. Everyone turns to me expectantly – well, almost everyone. I find myself smiling as my eyes go to my oldest son, who is completely oblivious. Emmett kisses Rosalie's temple and whispers something that makes her laugh as he reaches down to place a hand on her swollen belly.

Without preamble, I say, "This year, I am thankful for growth in our family – both those who we will soon meet," Emmett beams at me, "and those we are delighted to know better." Bella blushes, smiling widely as she takes Edward's hand.

**Alice**

I try to restrain myself from bouncing in my seat. "This year, I'm grateful for _finally_ being done with school, _and_ for getting _the_ _coolest_ entry level job a girl could ask for."

In spite of my best efforts, I can't help myself and squeal, "I got a job at Claddagh Designs, working under Siobhan herself!"

Jasper laughs, squeezing my hand while the others all congratulate me. Edward grins. "Wow, sis, amazed you were able to keep that to yourself for so long."

I giggle and stick my tongue out at him for good measure, causing another round of laughter.

**Jasper**

Shifting in my seat, I fight the urge to wipe my hands on my jeans nervously. Esme catches my eye and smiles warmly, and words just pour out.

"I'm thankful for being able to have this wonderful dinner that reminds me so much of my mama's back home. I'm thankful, too, that Alice is finally out of school so I don't get calls at midnight from her freaking out because her computer crashed." I -_oof-_ at Alice's elbow to my ribs as everyone chuckles. "And most of all, I'm thankful that Alice puts up with me."

"Always," she whispers, smiling.

**Bella**

Biting my lip, I try to ignore the blush creeping up my cheeks when it's my turn. Edward squeezes the back of my neck encouragingly. I smile, whispering, "Thanks."

Taking a deep breath, I glance around the table. "I'm grateful to be here, with you. To get the chance to be a part of your family. I still don't quite know what I did to deserve him, but... I'm so thankful for Edward, for his support and love, especially with Charlie in the hospital."

I take a wavering breath as Edward kisses my temple and murmurs, "He'll be okay, sweetheart."

**Edward**

Aware that it's my turn, I tear my eyes away from Bella. I can hear the stutter in her breathing and know she's trying to control herself – and that the last thing she wants is to be the center of attention.

So I draw attention to me instead.

"You all know I'm thankful for all of you. Mom, for always believing in me. Dad, for letting me survive my teenage years." My parents laugh as I offer my thanks to the rest of the family before turning to Bella. "And I'm most grateful that you never gave up on me."

**Rosalie**

My hands automatically go to my belly, gently caressing the bump – her foot, I think – that's protruding from it. I can't stop smiling as I glance at Emmett and see the look of love and awe on his face as he watches me.

"I'm thankful for Emmett, for giving me this wonderful gift. And for going on midnight ice cream runs when I ask, or driving across town for my favorite pad thai."

Esme chuckles and reaches over to gently pat my arm. Grinning, I turn to her and Carlisle. "I'm thankful to you for raising such a wonderful man."

**Emmett**

Everyone turns to me expectantly – and I know exactly what they're expecting. Joking Emmett, making everybody laugh.

I surprise even myself when my voice is gruff and intense. "Thank you so much, Rosie… for this," I gently rub her stomach where I feel our baby kicking. I look down, struggling to say what I mean. "Seriously. I can't ever thank you enough. You're amazing."

Everyone does laugh then, when I kiss my wife hard. She smiles against my lips, and I laugh when I hear Edward mutter, "Never thought someone would tame _him_."

"Amazing, isn't it?" Alice adds in disbelief.

**Esme**

As the laughter dies down, I look around me, my eyes lingering upon each of my children – both those I have born, and those who've since come to us. Finally, my gaze rests on Carlisle as I lace our hands together.

As usual, my throat feels heavy with emotion as I express my gratitude for thirty years of marriage to him. For the wonder that is our family. The miracle that is my first grandchild. Everything we've lived through – the good, the bad, and everything in between.

"Thank you. All of you. I love you."

Carlisle kisses my hand, smiling.


	70. Picture Perfect

**A/N: **Happy Birthday, _**DefinatelyStaying**_! We hope you have a fantastic day, filled with gorgeous guys and everything your kinky little heart desires.

As ever, we do not own Twilight - it owns us.

**ooOoo**

**Worship**

He reclines in his chair like some Greek god – lean muscles and tanned skin, auburn hair and full, pouty lips. The click of the camera doesn't disturb him at all. He's a picture of confidence as he closes his eyes, letting his head loll back.

I capture it all.

His cock, rigid and beading at the tip, rests against his abdomen as he spreads his knees.

He's so unlike any of the others. With them, it's clear this is a job.

With him, it's art. His body is the medium and the canvas rolled into one.

His sigh carries desire.

**Tease**

Pausing, I adjust myself, struggling to keep my head in the game. I have a job to do, after all, so I bring the camera back to my eye and focus on getting the shots I need. Edward makes things both extremely easy and very difficult for me at once.

Easy, because he's a natural.

Difficult, because he's always a fucking tease with me, and today is no different. I've held back in the past, wanting to keep things professional, but lately...

Edward's stroking himself leisurely, his eyes closed. I'm mesmerized, the camera lowering to allow me a better view.

**Connect**

The sound of the camera landing on the table is louder than I intended. Edward's head pops up, his eyes opening. He smiles when he sees me. "Finished already?"

"Yeah, think I have what I need." My voice sounds husky and needy – exactly the way I feel.

Edward's eyes flicker along my body, and he doesn't stand to get dressed. Instead, I see motion from the corner of my eye as his hand speeds along his shaft before slowing again. I keep my eyes carefully focused on his, and I watch as he bites his bottom lip.

"Shame," he whispers.

**Clear**

Quirking a brow, I clear my throat, feigning more confidence than I feel as I lean casually against the railing. Or at least, I _try_ to be casual.

"We're done. Shouldn't you get dressed or something?"

Even as the words leave my mouth, I pray that he'll say no – that he'll give me some indication that he's not just a huge tease, but that he wants me as much as I do him.

Edward hums, eyeing me with an almost predatory look as he shakes his head. "No," he says quietly, "now that would truly be a shame. Well, unless..."

**Wicked**

He trails off with a mischievous little smile, and I can't help it – I take the bait. "Unless what?"

"Unless you want to undress me."

My eyes widen, and an incredulous, _"Really?"_ is on the tip of my tongue. I manage to hold it inside, though, and we simply watch each other. Edward lifts one challenging eyebrow.

His arm begins moving again – slowly, teasingly – and I let my gaze follow the movement. The sight of his cock, glistening with pre-cum, sliding through his tight fist is nearly too much.

When I look back at his face, his eyes are closed.

**Silent**

_Fuck. Me_.

_No, really. Fuck me._

I stare at Edward for several seconds, entranced by the sight of him, all easy sensuality. Without another word, I undress quickly and quietly. I'm not quite successful – the soft _thud thud_ of my boots coming off gives me away.

Edward's lips twitch with the hint of a smile, but he neither opens his eyes nor halts his movements.

My heart and breathing both pick up as I pad silently over to him. Standing behind him, I lean forward, reaching tentatively to put a hand on his chest, my lips pressing against his neck.

**Plea**

"Six months of work…" I whisper, my lips still humming with the taste of his skin. "Twenty-seven models… and not one of them has made me consider doing something so… unprofessional… so…"

"So sinfully delicious?" Edward supplies.

He makes no move toward me. I press my lips to his neck again before letting them skim his ear as I murmur, "No more teasing. Tell me… right here, right now… tell me you want me or go ahead and laugh at me. I can't take this anymore."

He turns his head, his green eyes meeting mine before his lips cover mine.

**Sear**

The moan that escapes me spurs him on. His fingers tangle in my hair, anchoring me to him. Tilting his head, he deepens our kiss, his tongue pushing into my mouth.

Tightening his grip in my hair, he pulls away breathlessly, his eyes flickering over my body before burning into mine. He whispers hoarsely, "I want to suck that beautiful cock of yours. Then I want you to fuck me so hard I won't even remember my name. Is that clear enough for you, Jasper?"

"Fuck," I gasp as he tugs again.

"I've wanted you since day one," he admits.

**Effort**

Words are replaced by insistent kisses made awkward by our position, as I'm still behind him. With an annoyed grunt, he twists and reaches back, grabbing my hips to pull me forward.

I obey the silent command and straddle him as he shifts to sit more upright in the chair. When our cocks brush, we both moan. Edward's blunt nails scratch down my back as he grits his teeth. "You have no idea how hard I've tried to break that cool reserve of yours. Even when I could see that rod straining your pants, you behaved. Infuriating."

I laugh breathlessly.

**Give**

His eyes narrow. Before I can say or do anything else, he dips his head and nips at my nipple.

I hiss, my hands alternately flying to the back of his chair and into his hair, fingers twisting his locks.

Edward groans, laving his tongue over the bite.

"Fuck, Edward, please..."

My head lolls back, my eyes close, my mouth pops open, and my breathing speeds as he teases me.

Fingers dipping between my ass cheeks, pressing against my hole. Tongue and teeth working my body until I'm quivering.

Begging.

Offering.

Edward pulls my face to his, kissing me hard.

**Pause**

He pats my thigh, urging me to stand. I do, frowning in confusion when he turns me and guides me to sit in the chair.

My confusion grows as he pads across the floor, though I can't help staring at his flawless form, now that I'm free to do so. I stroke myself idly, alternating between disbelief that this is happening and sheer, unadulterated lust.

He bends over, bare ass in the air, and I groan loudly. He shoots me a grin over his shoulder and reaches back, caressing his ass and teasing his tiny hole.

"Dear god," I breathe.

**Lick**

His chuckle reaches me as he straightens and turns, hiding his hands behind his back as he walks back to me. His eyes are dancing with both mischief and open desire. I can't look away.

He stops in front of me, his gaze flitting down to my hand slowly working me over before returning to my face.

"Mmm, I do like the look of that," he murmurs.

Edward's once again too quick for me to anticipate as he bends his knees and swipes his tongue over the tip of my cock.

I moan lowly.

"Love the taste of it, too."

**Mission**

He brushes my hand away and takes me further, enveloping my cock in the heavenly wet warmth of his mouth. His hands massage my thighs, thumbs brushing my balls, and I groan as I slide down in the chair, letting my head loll back as my knees spread.

He's relentless – until, suddenly, he stops.

I lift my head to find him sitting on his heels, his eyes trained on the condom wrapper in his hand. "Did you plan this?" My voice is husky without a hint of accusation.

One corner of his lips lifts in a smile. "Hoped, not planned."

**Chastise**

His eyes on mine, he opens the wrapper. With only the briefest of glances to what he's doing, he rolls the condom onto my cock.

I moan, my eyes closing.

Edward's chuckle makes me shiver. The sound of another packet ripping makes me open my eyes again, only for them to go wide when I see him start spreading lube to prepare himself for me.

When I reach out to help him, he shakes his head, grinning as he bats my hand away. "Nuh-uh, I got this."

"Oh God," I groan, mesmerized by the sight of him working himself over.

**Taste**

He stands, spreading his feet as he strokes his cock only inches from my face. When I lean forward, he teasingly pulls back, but I'm having none of it.

Much like he did to me, I bat his hand away and lick a long line from the base of his cock to the tip, swirling my tongue and relishing his throaty moan. He lets me enjoy the salty taste of him for a moment before his fingers tangle in my hair and he pulls my head up.

His eyes blazing, he murmurs, "So, so good… but _please_ fuck me. Now."

**Slow**

"Jesus," I whisper huskily, my hands going to his hips.

I can't look away from his eyes as he slowly situates us both to his liking. He hovers above me, his ass mere inches away from my cock as he entwines his fingers behind my neck.

With a wavering breath, I grab my cock, guiding him carefully onto it, both of us moaning when I breach him.

"Waited so long," he whimpers, pressing down as far as possible.

His forehead against mine, we sit, both of us needing to calm down lest this be over before it's even truly begun.

**Exquisite**

Like his body, his movements are works of art. I can't hear the music, but I can feel it – feel the rolling bass when his thighs meet mine, sense the approaching crescendo as his body conducts mine in this symphony for two.

His mouth is masterful, lips and teeth and tongue relishing every inch of my flesh he can reach. All I can do is groan, holding on tightly as I press our chests together, my hands roaming his sweat-slicked back.

When I reach up and grab his shoulders, urging him to drive harder, faster, he growls and chuckles breathlessly.

**Relish**

The sounds coming from Edward change the closer he gets. Needy whimpers, pleas, and curses spill from red, swollen lips every time he slides home. It's as if he's trying to pull me in deeper with every tilt of his hips, every downward movement.

The air around us smells of sex, heady and addictive – or maybe it's just him. I can't seem to get enough of him, needing to taste, feel, hear _everything_.

He comes with a strangled cry, his face contorting beautifully.

I follow right after, breathing him in as I commit this moment to memory.

"Jesus," he whispers.

**Tender**

He presses his forehead against my shoulder as he catches his breath, and I let my head fall back onto the chair. I loosen my grip on his hips only to idly stroke his skin, my eyes closed.

Edward recovers first, covering my shoulder and neck with soft kisses as he makes his way to my lips. There, he places a soft, searing kiss before opening his eyes to look at me.

Something dances in the depths of his eyes that I am not sure I understand – or want to just yet. So I tease, "Worth the wait?"

"More than."

**Agree**

A frown mars his face as he cups my cheek, his eyes searching mine. Before I can ask what's wrong, he bites his lip briefly. "Jasper..." He pauses, taking a deep breath. "I was wondering... I know this is completely out of order and everything, but... Have dinner with me?"

The blush that spreads up his neck makes him look adorably shy, especially considering what we've just done. It makes my heart race again, but for wholly different reasons. Smiling, I pull him in for a leisurely kiss, humming. "I'd like that. That, and much, much more."

He smiles. "Perfect."


End file.
